A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. This chapter was done ages ago but my laptop got taken away because of my grades. Oh the joys of being a high school junior. The ball will get rolling in the next chapters, I really have some amazing ideas for future chapters and where this story will be going, because, boy, it will be going EVERYWHERE. You'll get to meet Lia's father soon, and she'll be going to the infamous Forks High, and treating it a lot differently from Bella. wink, wink.

Dislaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, or any other recognized label.

"Here no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down
Where no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down
Ask the line on your face what the line on your hand meant
We couldn't see what was coming"

- Empty, Metric.

I stepped off the scale, my weight melting, spreading and stretching my skin, a pool of fat around the bathroom floor.

Poor scale. I took one last look in the mirror, my mind was empty empty empty, it did no good to think too much after these kinds of things, thinking too much usually led to suicide.

I wrapped my hair around a towel, my skin shiny, my eyes looking brighter somehow.

the small pieces of my hair that had been prickling my back had annoyed me to no end.

I looked once more in the mirror, naked, running my hands through my stomach, my breasts, my collarbones. Don't pinch, don't grab, don't think, don't do anything. I stopped breathing.

I closed my eyes, hard.

I turned myself around and wrapped myself in another towel, so as not to torture myself any longer.

I stepped out of the steam, misty and heavy. I left the door open, I couldn't deplete the room completely of oxygen.

I looked both ways, remembering that I wasn't home anymore and I no longer had a private bathroom. I crossed my room, quickly, before a 48 year old man decided to step through the door from his football game escapades.

I quickly opened my door, tiptoeing across the cold wooden floors, landing on my bed, shivering from head to toe. It was so damn cold in here. Cold cold cold.

Shorts and blouses and skirts and bathing suits were not allowed here, not that it mattered, jeans displayed just as much of me than I ever wanted anyone to see.

Leotard, tights………. Humiliation.

I closed the door.

With my ipod station turned on, Edit Pliath pouring through the speakers, I made my way across the floor, tip toe, tip toe, tip toe. Cold, cold.. cold.

I opened the drawer clumsily, desperately searching for the first piece of clothing I could find, I yanked the red underwear, just as I heard a barely audible thump on the wall, followed by a chuckle, and then… a nervous giggle. A girly nervous giggle, most likely followed by a blush.

Ugh, gross.

he was still here? In my cousin's room, no less. God, if this didn't depict trailer trash whore, than I didn't know what did.

For some reason, this description perfectly fit, yet perfectly didn't fit, my cousin.

Bella was just the type of girl who had always been shy, smart, and stepped on. Who by some miracle, found herself a boyfriend, and because of her low self-esteem, decided that she needed to spend everysinglewakingmoment with said boy, and then got knocked up.

She would naively believe that he would stay with her, but this beautiful boy would leave her for another girl.

Stupid, silly pregnant teenager.

Even I had enough class to not bring my boyfriends in my room when my parent's were home, that was just wrong, it made me feel dirty.

I said that now, but in reality, would I bring my boyfriend here with my parents? If this boy were Edward, would I care?

No.

If this was two years ago, and it was Nate, would I have cared?

No.

If it were anybody I was in "love" with, would I care?

No.

I was disgusting, I was stupid, just like everybody else. Delusional and unloved because, damn. This was me. And Bella was just acting out of character, which in turn made her trashy, which made me trashy.

On the other hand, it was Edward and Bella. Both very virginal. He wasn't all those other boys trying to get in your pants, her pants, my pants… jeans.

I shivered again, my shiny skin marred by tiny goose bumps. I looked down to my hand seeing the dull red piece of clothing that was supposed to be on my body. I remembered that there was a vampire in the next room, with very……. Visual imagery.

And I was naked, I had been for a very, very long time.

I burst out laughing, knowing he probably heard that, possibly saw that, I don't know, did he even pay any attention to the things around me when he was with Bella? How embarrassing.

I ran across my room, hurriedly tugging on a pair of silk bottoms and a comfy v-neck t-shirt. Suddenly, missing my lacey, silky nightgowns. Oh the nostalgia, I might as well have played California songs over and over again just to make it really hit home.

I had my fair share of them too. Led Zeppelin, Sugarcult, Atherton, The Mama's and the Papa's, Everclear, Tom Petty. You name it.

I should put all these songs in a play list or something.

I ran back to my bed, sitting in the middle of it. Wondering what to do next. I heard the music continue playing, some more giggling, hushed talking, little secrets about love and endless devotion.

I began to mouth the words to the lyrics. Metric was on, I had recently developed an obsession with them, strange. I never liked girl bands. It didn't override their voices, I suddenly felt like I was in a movie, playing the part of the distressed and melodramatic teenager who was wallowing in the depths of unrequited love from the world.

Typical.

I got up, putting on some socks as well, and then another pair. Cold.

I slid my foot into a tendu, the socks making butter. Demi-pointe, to pointe. I had pretty feet when the blisters didn't show.

I turned my head to the music, went in the middle of the room, and silently thanked Charlie for installing wood rather than carpet.

The song had a steady beat. I was unsure, it had been too long. But I was bored, and I was always dancing in one way or another. Edward would tease me endlessly about it, telling me in advance just when I would suddenly do a pirouette, an arabesque, a degage, or a rond de jambe.

I immediately turned my feet out in a near perfect fourth position, a stance I had nearly perfected from my years of pre-professional training, nearly perfected, because nothing was perfect in ballet.

I plied, deeply, waiting for the beat to enter my brain, and pushed.

I used to be able to do 36 fouettes, on pointe. I had done so once for my Black Swan variation in PNB's Student Workshop, now.. Well I wasn't so sure I could do half of that on flat.

I kept going, holding my breath in, looking in the mirror. I was slightly off of my center, moving forward ever so slowly. Bad bad bad.

in tune with Hustle Rose, push and turn and plie, turn, and plie, and turn, spot, spot, spot.

I felt a sudden bubble of energy flow up my system, as I started turning faster, adding imperfect doubles in between my single fouettes, pushing harder against the floor, pulling up tall, taller, tallest. I was smiling now, I was on 16.… turn, 17, double turn, 18, 19, 20 double, turn… I was getting closer and closer to the wall, unable to stay in the same spot as I used to. I was really rusty. I got to 23 before it looked like I was going to collide.

The song ended, I did a triple, not perfectly, but enough to be able to land it smoothly.

I had gone from the middle of the floor to a quarter inch away from the wall.

I was definitely practicing those.

The song changed, the remix for Fame coming on. I rolled my eyes, I could be so cheesy with my music choices sometimes.

I decided to being my fouettes on my left, knowing that it would end in disaster. I was rubbish on that leg, but still

Plie, deep, deep, deep. Down.….. Anddddddddd, no such luck. I got to 13, before I started hopping around like a jackrabbit.

I landed in a double, and continued dancing. Jumping and doing triple pirouettes here and there, adding arabesques and grand jetes and tons and tons of developpes and grand battements, and chaines and pique turns and more Kitri style jumps.

I was full out smiling now. Another song change, this time, Replay, by Sean Kingston.

God……. All of my guilty pleasure music coming out. I tried my luck at fouettes again, on my right side this time, they were easier.

20, 21, 22, close to the wall, keep going, 23, 24, 25 almost there……… 26.………crash.

I felt my legs and shoulders collide with the wall, as I fell backwards, flailing about.

My door opened in a flash.

Bella, and……… just Bella. Huh?

"Are you okay?!"

I looked at my position, then back at her, my eyes too wide.

"Oh." I said, before giggling nervously.

"I'm fine, just got a little carried away."

She continued looking at me, as "The Montagues and the Capulets" be Prokiev, began to play.

"Did you just collide with the wall?" She asked in disbelief,

"Umm.. Sort of?"

She shook her head, laughing. For some reason, her laugher arising something within me, seeing her so happy. It angered me.

"Have you been laughing by yourself this entire time?"

"Huh?" She said between softer chuckles, her head slightly turned to the side

"Well, I keep hearing someone talking and laughing, I figured, since, you know, it would be so unlike you to have someone in your room late at night, that you were just talking to yourself"

She turned her head to look at me, completely red, like a tomato ready to pop, it would be hilarious if it wasn't so annoying. How predictable, she even knew she looked whorey.

"I.. I.. well, it isn't….." she continued to stutter like an idiot,

"Don't worry, It's not like I'm going to tell Uncle Charlie, I just though you should know to stop giggling like an idiot, in the middle of the night, or else someone might hear."

She said nothing, just continued to stutter. And really, what could you say to that? I had caught her red-handed.

"Thanks for not telling anyone."

Ugh, could she just get out?

"Not like it benefits me. Who would I tell anyway? you have more friends than me at right now." I pointed out.

"Well," she looked to the wall again, "Just, be careful ok? I don't want the wall to collapse."

I giggled like a madman, it wasn't a big deal, this had happened before. Numerous times, whoever said dancers were graceful had surely never seen one trying to steal pique turns down the grocery aisle or squeeze in grand jetes in a small bedroom.

A sudden image of a younger me entered my head.

I hugged my knees.

"Hunny, we're going out, you can't wear your tutu and wings to the store sweetie."

"NO!"

"Lily…. I'm, telling you… you. Can. Not. Wear. Your. Costume. To. Go. Grocery. Shopping."

"NO!"

"It's silly to look like a fairy in public hunny."

"I'm NOT a fewy, ima pwincess"

"If my little girl wants to be a fairy then she can be one if she wants to wherever she wants to Sophia." An older man with scholarly looking glasses rushed to his daughter and swung her around.

"Not fewy daddy, pwincestsh!" Her lisp was getting better, but sometimes, on very cold days, it would come creeping back in.

"Whatever you say hunny."

"Told you thso mommy."

"Mommy's mean isn't she Lily?"

"Yes, daddy I love you," The small girl rushed to get her sentence out, her eyes getting bigger as her breath ran out.

"Oh stop encouraging her Clark."

I giggled softly.

The memory so fuzzy, I was only three, maybe four. My parents still called me Lily, I had always hated that nickname.

Maybe my mother had been right after all, I may not remember much of my childhood years, but I can distinctly recall my magic wand smacking the backs of peoples legs as I whirled, twirled, and ran across the cereal and oatmeal aisle.

I remember it was that aisle, because pretty soon, I got too dizzy and I hit smack into the section with the frosted flakes and Trix, the sugary cereals tumbling down, burying my teeny body into a sugary mountain.

"Lia?"

I turned towards my door, Bella's voice snapping me out of my nostalgia.

"You sure your ok? Maybe you hit your head."

Oh, the joys of a Bella desperately trying to tease. Edward might believe the sun shines out of her ass and that her lame-o jokes were the next David Cook or whatever, but whenever Bella tried to do anything coherently, she just annoyed me even more.

I shrugged my shoulders, and stood up from my place on the ground, figuring I had enough dancing for the day.

"Maybe you hit your head, or is your face permanently stuck looking like an idiot?" I bantered back.

A foolish, love-sick idiot.

She fought, fought very hard, not to roll her eyes. She knew what I was talking about, it actually made her smile grow larger.

UGH. Gag me with a spoon.

Gag me with a… did I really just say that?

Thought that?

Whatever.

"Goodnight Lia."

"Night."

I yawned for good measure, her figure shrinking as the door grew larger.

I climbed unto my bed, lying down with my eyes to the ceiling.

What now?

I turned to my side, wishing I still had my laptop with me.

I heard Bella's low murmurs, Edward's voice too quiet for my ears.

I silently cursed this house, cursed it for not making the walls any thicker. I couldn't help the jealousy that spread through my veins, plaguing my brain…

"Lia, Lia sweetie, just get up.. Get up ok? You need to get up."

"Why?"

"You can't be on the floor sweetie, throw up if you have to sweetie, here drink this."

"No, no… I don't want to drink any water."

"Sweetie you have to"

"Stop touching me, stop it, just, just………………… stop."

"Lia, you have to get up, DON'T FALL ASLEEP LIA!"

"I'm not, falling.. I'm just, I'm just tired."

"Hun, come on let me bring you to my room, Ellie, help me get her up."

"No, no no no, let me stay here, please… I don't want to move."

"Come on sweetie, you'll feel better."

"I don't know Jessie, she's so pale.."

"She'll be fine Ellie! She just had too much to drink!"

"And too much pills! did you see how much Vicodin she took?! You can't just expect her to be ok!"

"Maybe if you weren't all over Nate's balls! She wouldn't have had the need to drown herself in vodka!"

"Oh stop making excuses for her Jess! You know it wouldn't have mattered if it was her he decided to sleep with! She has no sense of self control!"

"Yeah, maybe if you weren't such a slut.."

"Maybe if you could take that stick out of your ass! She's MY BESTFRIEND! Get off of her!"

"you guys…… please, stop fighting, just stop, I'm not mad, swear. Besides, Nate never liked me, I'm just his stupid friend, ssall I'am. Just.. Friends."

I looked towards my phone, feeling so damn stupid. I should've, I should've……… I don't know. All I knew was that Nate and me were best friends and Ellie slept with him and maybe if she hadn't, I wouldn't have embarrassed myself and Jessie would've stopped calling me sweetie and I wouldn't have felt like absolute shit the next morning.

Maybe if I hadn't felt the constant need to prove to myself that I didn't care about anything and that I actually had feelings then I wouldn't have passed out in Jessie's bedroom that night..

"Lia, are you ok?"

"Nate?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm fine, jusfine. Partied too hard,"

He chuckled.

"Just a little too hard don't you think?"

"You know me. Fuck bitches, get money and all that ghetto crap."

He laughed.

"Your so gone."

"Nate,"

"Yeah?"

"Are you holding my hand?"

"Yeah, Lia."

"Ok, just making sure."

He chuckled again, nervously.

"You have to pace yourself, a tiny girl like you can't handle that much buzz."

I waved him off

"Me? I'm fine, you on the other hand, your probably infected with herpes as we speak."

"Huh?"

"You slept with Ellie didn't you?"

I heard him scratch the back of his hand,

"Yeah, I guess I did, she's your best friend though, why would you say something like that?"

Because I think I'm in love with you,

"I was just kidding, I forgot to say so, or laugh or something, you know? To make you know I was kidding, because I was, well I'm too tired."

He shook his head again, muttering something about me being "so gone" again.

"Yeah, she's pretty hot, I might ask her to Winter Formal."

"Really?"

"You think she'd say yes?"

"She sucked your dick didn't she?"

He laughed again

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Nate?"

"Lia?"

"Why are you holding my hand?"

"You scared me Lia, I don't know about you sometimes, you take it too far. And your one of my best friends, I care about you."

Stupid, stupid asshole.

"mmmmmmmm. I care about you too…"

"Lia, don't fall asleep."

"I'm not, I won't. I just want to close my eyes."

"Please don't"

"I can't help it."

He stayed quiet for a second.

"Remember in eight grade, when we first met, and when me you and Chris started hanging out all the time?"

"mhmm"

The first day I fell in love with you and swore I would get married to you one day.

"Remember what we said after we heard that song, about Thug's Mansion?"

I couldn't stop my giggles.

"I think that was you who said that, you didn't even like rap."

"Yeah, but then I told you we would buy a little house in Laguna Beach? Just like your favorite show?"

"I still like that show."

"Yeah, didn't it end though?"

"yeah.. But still. It's good crappy television."

"We were going to buy a house and Steven and Chris would come and visit everyday"

"Yeah I remember."

"Be best friends forever."

"yeah, best friends."

I couldn't stop the tear that fell from my eye, pity for me. Poor, poor Lia.

Too stupid, too blind, too pathetic. You were just a friend to him.

I looked towards my phone, having the overwhelming feeling to call him, right now. Just to talk. Just to relieve happier moments, to remember how it used to feel to hope, to dream, even if it was as insignificant as a crush.

Remembering all those things, all those conversations that made me feel like an absolute idiot at their stupidity. But still, it was something.

Even just to feel heartbreak, just to feel something. Just to feel someone holding me. I wanted someone to hold me so badly.

How it felt like to have friends, not competition. How it felt like to be drunk, and happy. And laugher, and loud music and driving fast and fireworks. How it felt to be kissed, kissed and kissed, till you were gasping for air.

How it felt like to be home, a teenager.

How much the pounding of my heart infused even more of my tears, as I realized someone who was next door, who was probably being kissed, held, happy. Everything I was desperate for in this moment.

I shut my eyes tightly, willing the memories away, hoping for sleep to conquer me soon.

Something that never happened. Not until a good ten hours.

I heard something shift slightly, my door opening a crack, as a figure moved at lightning speed.

My heart soared, frightened.

"What did you think you were doing" the velvet voice hissed.

"What?" I asked, my eyes blinking rapidly. confused, annoyed, sad, confused.

"After dinner."

After dinner? Dinner seemed so far away at the moment. Then I remembered, he probably never left, most likely stayed, stayed and heard everything, even me in the shower.

"Oh."

"Oh? You think that's ok?"

I shrugged,

"What did you expect?" Why are you fighting with me?

"Do you want to go back there?" If it means going back to you,

The though entered my head before I had time to censor it.

"Is this some sort of game to you?"

"Haven't you already asked me this?"

"Have you learned nothing?"

"I wasn't realizing anyone was teaching me." I covered my head with my comforter, hoping he would stop talking to me this way, as my heart pounded even faster.

I heard him grumble a bit, his hands passing through his hair as his brow furrowed even deeper.

The sound of nothing.

"Lia?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's Nate?" Nate.

I unburied my head, looking to him.

My memories, and my heartbreak, and my flashbacks. He saw.

"You mean you saw?"

"More than I wanted to."

He sat on the edge of my bed, looking intently at me again.

Giving me the same gaze that made me always have the urge to look away, that, or keep gazing back.

Edward POV

I had heard her musings, her flashbacks, her memories.

Her heartache becoming mine. I felt her desire, her longing. It was like a calling to me, forcing me to be the one to hold her, the one to never let go.

I saw another flashback, she was now laying on a bed, but it was still the same night, everything very foggy, even for a memory.

Her intoxicated slurs, the way she could feel close to nothing. It made me sick.

This time, a boy appeared by her side, he was slightly tan, slightly muscular, the build of a lacrosse player. His disheveled brown-blonde hair in great contrast to his startling green eyes, the kind of eyes that drew in, mesmerized, foolish, naïve girls.

He grabbed Lia's hand, looking down at her, his furrowed brow and quick eye movements showing his concern.

"Don't fall asleep…" he muttered, and caressed, and she felt alive.

Yearning, so much yearning.

she remembered every detail of that night, willing it to come back. Just so she could have someone there, just so she could feel elated.

A small, distant, muffled voice told me I wanted to be the one holding her hand, looking at her with the same, but very different intention.

I was shocked when he told her about Ellie, hearing his genuineness, the way he somehow knew what Lia felt for him, but still remained clueless.

I saw Lia's tears, felt her heart pounding faster, her eyes shifting to the phone, a crazy thought passing along with her desperateness.

I couldn't stand it anymore, she needed me there, I needed to be with her. Wanted to, I had missed our late night conversations.

The calm, easy way in which she voiced her thoughts and opinions, so different than her cruel appearance and bitter tongue to the outside world.

So I did the only thing I could do. I barged into her room. Feeling my anger coming back from earlier this evening.

To tell the truth, there was no need for me to accuse her. But it was the only way I knew how to approach her now.

What was I supposed to do? Come in with a smile? The way I used to? Back when everything was different. Back when I had no other priorities.

Guilt would surely set in if I stayed, I was supposed to be next to Bella, I promised I would never leave her.

Somehow, promises seemed to be breaking left and right.

Even my angry hisses did nothing to snap her out of her mood. She was so distraught at the moment that she cared nothing for my disapproving tone.

"What did you expect?" Why are you fighting with me?

"Do you want to go back there?" If it means going back to you,

I hid my shock, she did have me. What did she mean?

"Is this some sort of game to you?"

"Haven't you already asked me this?"

"Have you learned nothing?"

"I wasn't realizing anyone was teaching me."

I let out a deep, low, sigh. Knowing that this was getting us nowhere, she didn't want to. She didn't care. I ran my hands through my hair out of habit, and looked down at her once more.

I was affecting her, I knew that I shouldn't expect miracles. I was expecting more than she was able to give.

"Lia?" I tried again, hoping that this wouldn't end in disaster.

struggling with what I would say next, a familiar emotion usually reserved towards Jacob slowly emerged, and I had to force myself into saying the next words.

"Yeah?"

"Who's Nate?"

"You mean you saw?" I saw the discomfort in her features. What must he think of me?

"More than I wanted to."

She dipped her head in shame,

"I'm sorry." I don't know what to say.

I was surprised yet again, because she had no reason to apologize, and Lia rarely apologized even if she needed to.

She wasn't embarrassed, she wasn't proud. She had come to terms, she wished she could go back, relive it.

"Don't be, I know you really aren't"

"I guess I have nothing else to say…….. you know everything don't you?" She teased.

"I'm surprised you haven't yelled at me to stay out of your head like everyone else does."

She looked at me curiously,

"I don't want you to."

She was honest, truthful, at least to me. She hid nothing. Bella hid everything.

I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face,

"So, who is he." I began.

I would've taken her hand, but I don't think she would've taken it too kindly.

She took a deep breath, unsure of where to begin.

If you want to hear the whole story, be prepared to stay here for a long time.

"I have all the time in the world."

She smiled again, reaching for my hand this time, looking at it curiously.

"Your so different, you know. From him, yet, so alike."

I felt her warmth envelope my hand, almost feeling it spread across my arm. I held her hand back, firmly.

"I used to like his best friend, Steven. Anyway, I was in seventh grade, and our school had this end of the year field trip for all the student's with good grades. It was at the beach.

"Me and Steven got to share bus seats and he let me listen to his ipod and you know, because of the field trip, all of our friends spent the entire day at the beach."

"I started to like him, even then, in that day. It wasn't anything big, just your typical middle school crush. But I was young, and I didn't know the difference, all I knew was that I always wanted to be around him and he liked the Fray and that he splashed me with water and chased me around on the beach, and that was good enough for me."

She paused, thinking over her words.

"It's funny, he even told Vanessa that he liked me, he wrote it to her in a note. I still remember, he told her that out of all the girls in the school if he had to choose one, he thought I was the prettiest." She let out a half smile, half laugh.

"I thought that meant that he wanted to be my boyfriend." She laughed again,

"I didn't even know what to do with a boyfriend."

"But he found someone prettier, I guess, because in a week, he started going out with Savannah, a girl one grade below ours. She was still in elementary school when he dated her. Can you imagine that?"

She shuttered.

"She was the sixth grade-hoe bag, boyfriend stealer."

I burst out laughing, endeared my the trivialities of such a life.

"It's true! Everyone knew it. I hated her, hated her for stealing him away from me. Hated her because after he found out I hated her, he started hating me."

"And to make things worse, he knew I liked him. It was so embarrassing."

"But I was pretty popular, I was really outgoing, I still am, I mean, if I'm in a group of people I won't really fade in the background, I enjoy talking, and me and my friends made sure Savannah got a horrible reputation. In fact, she's still considered a slut to this day." She replied rather proudly,

I arched my eyebrow at her.

"Sorry, I know that was mean. But you should've seen how Steven was to me! And I was so pathetic, because I still liked him!"

"How does this relate to Nate?"

"Well, told you it was a long story. Anyway, I became really good friends with both of Steven's best friends, Chris and Nate, because they hated Savannah, turns out she was a real slut after all."

"Nate had a girlfriend, named Tracy, and she was friends with Savannah, and Tracy would tell Nate everything Savannah did behind Steven's back, and…"

She stopped.

"Sorry, I'm getting to gossipy, anyway bottom line is, all three of us bonded over our hatred for Savannah."

I had always heard these kinds of stories in the heads of girls such as Jessica or Lauren, the way it would grind my brain and make me want to shoot myself twice dead.

Hearing it from Lia was half annoying, half endearing. Because unlike the others, she knew she sounded irritating.

But, how else did girls tell their stories? A girl.

she was so much more of a girl than Bella.

She laughed again

"I must be boring you to death, I sound so stupid."

"No, no keep going."

I couldn't stop staring at her, as she was so completely honest with me.

"Chris started liking me, but he was too sweet for me to take any interest. But Nate……."

She paused to take a deep breath as her eyes rolled way in the back of her head.

"Nate was always flirting with me, and I didn't think his girlfriend was that pretty, I thought it was harmless. I was in love with Steven, wasn't I?"

She chuckled again, shaking her head at her own foolishness.

"But the way he would talk, the way my friends started pushing me to hang out with him more so I could get over my Steven funk."

"And it worked," she sighed, "Only I started liking him instead, and.. Of course, started hating Tracy."

I began to see her pattern. Her frustration.

"Besides his harmless flirting, he was head over heels in love with Tracy, he would never break up with her. They always fought, and I was always there to talk to him when he was down."

"He would walk me home and do these stupid little scenarios in where we would get married and by this house in Laguna Beach."

"He wasn't serious, I was." She sighed once more, getting lost in her daydream

"I never told him how pushy and naggy Tracy was. I didn't want a repeat of Steven and Savannah."

"He eventually broke up with her, I was so happy. I thought he would run straight into my arms.." She paused, her eyes darkening.

"But he didn't, he went straight into Ellie's."

"He was still one of my best friends, we still hung out, but it wasn't the same. Ellie was always there, they were always together. I felt so alone, so bitter, no one had ever loved me."

"I started hating Ellie too, and this time I couldn't contain it. I couldn't hold back my anger, and she knew why, that's what made it worse."

"She would dig it in, the fact that she was dating him. Brag about it in front of me, knowing I had too much pride to make a scene. I was in high school, my crazy middle school days were over. I wasn't the jealous girl."

"That was the summer I came to Seattle, I got offered a spot at PNB's year round program and I stayed, how could I say no? It was the chance of a lifetime, I had nothing back home."

She paused.

"That came out wrong. Nate and Ellie were definitely not the reason I left California. I knew that going to PNB was what was going to send me to ballet stardom, it was my dream, I would've said yes even if I were dating him. Nothing came above dance. nothing still does. Nothing ever will." She said more forcefully.

it's the only thing that loves me back, wants me.

"It seems like I'm not destined for true love, maybe I'm just too bad of a person."

I gripped her hand tighter.

"Your wrong Lia."

"What do you mean?"

She had that desperate, cynical look… the kind of look you get when someone wants to believe you, but doesn't.

"Maybe it's because you never pay attention to what's right in front of you."

I looked at her, hearing her try to make sense of my words, a fleeting thought passed through.

It shocked her, but as soon as it was thought of, it disappeared. The thought never shocked me, but it did make me censor what I said from then on.

I had never been so bold.

"Your stories, they're rather fascinating." I murmured, as I looked down at her hand, examining the bones that seemed to pierce the skin over her knuckles.

She scoffed, somewhere between a chuckle,

"Human stories," she shook her head, "it's funny how much of a big deal it is to me, when there's so much more going on in the world. How anyone could be so worried about such fleeting emotions and contrite problems."

"Bella never told me stories like that, never told me anything about her life in Arizona really."

She looked curiously at me.

"Bella didn't have very many friends" Lia said slowly, as if talking to a small child.

"She must've had some, she must've had some high school memories."

She shook her head once more, in the same fashion as her voice.

"No, I don't think she does. She didn't have many friends, if any. Bella isn't your typical high school girl."

For once in my life, I almost yearned for Bella to have such memories, to be that high school teenager.

"It's why you chose her, wasn't it?"

"huh?" Temporarily broken out of my reverie.

"You chose her because she wasn't like all the other girls. She was shy and humble, but still strong. She liked to read books instead of go to parties, and she wasn't self-centered. She wouldn't bore you to death with gossip and self-criticism and shopping and makeup."

"Yeah, right." I muttered, almost reminding myself of the answer.

"Girls like me are no good. We're too common, I'm just like everybody else."

I quickly shushed her.

"Your NOT like anyone else. Your just lucky enough to be able to have those memories, you're the most different girl I've ever met."

She laughed at my seeming idiocy. Her hair bouncing as she did so.

"Really? I'm selfish, attention seeking, and seem to care more about social events than next week's research project. How is that, in any way, original?"

"Because it isn't true." I replied quickly.

"Your fascinating, how you can be so outgoing yet so incredibly brilliant at the same time. You pass out at parties and then go home to read The Great Gatsby. You scream and yell at your parents, but are able to remain disciplined through four hours of ballet a day. You know more about U.S History and government policy than anyone I've met your age, and you have an astoundingly philosophical view on the world. Your able to name off and analyze artists and paintings from Ancient Greece all the way to Impressionism with outstanding clarity and you hate everything modern. You listen to Bach and Vivaldi and still manage to have Britney Spears on your ipod, you're the only teenager whom I've met that has been awed and inspired and enjoyed seeing Andrea Bocelli live, and who's favorite author is Scott F. Fitzgerald. You walk with this unreal elegance, like you don't belong in this world, with everyone here. And you're the most self- critical person I've met, you aren't very conceited, because you don't think your good enough. Yet, your always striving for perfection, and will go through terrible measures just to reach it. And this perfection is tied not only by ballet, but by this fascination with humanism. You're the only person I know who's heart literally beats faster every time you see a picture of Michelangelo's David, and the only person I know who's cried just by listening to Claire De Lune."

I continued to stare at her, proud of my outburst. How could she ever think she wasn't different?

"You do pay attention." She whispered. Her eyes wider than I had ever seen, how did she do that?

I had momentarily lost the ability to speak, all I could do was stare at her. She was magnificent. An exquisite jewel that had been put on display for the world to see, but such exploitation gave way to disastrous results.

She looked down to my lips, and her heart pounded fast, just before turning to look away, at the window.

"It's cold." She muttered.

I stood up, glad for the excuse. Before she called my name.

"Edward."

"Yes?" I gulped,

unnecessary, but I didn't know what else to do.

"You know, your fascinating as well. And, and.. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself either. I mean, your awfully hard on yourself."

I chuckled,

"I could say the same thing."

I turned to her eyes once more, as she smiled at me. A slow, real smile, devoid of any malice or scorn.

"I'm glad you came to visit me. But you should really go back to Bella,"

I nodded, "Yes, yes I should."

I turned to open the door.

"Goodnight Edward."

Don't leave.

"I don't have to leave."

She looked up, suddenly.

"Really?"

"Really."

I went to sit next to her again, music softly playing in the background, always in the background.

"Edward?"

"Yes." I murmured, smiling at her.

"Will you take me to the beach one day?"

I stared, amused at her request.

"I miss the beach," she continued. "I miss the bonfires and the way the waves crashed at night."

"It is rather beautiful, isn't it? The way the horizon continues on, you feel so small in the middle of it all." I added for her, I may not remember much about my childhood, but I did remember how it used to feel when I would stare out into the vast ocean.

She nodded her head in approval.

"During twilight, and the salt in your nose. The sound is so soothing, and the way the water seems to glitter, creating shadows, everything seems vastly endless, it's almost scary."

"I promise Lia, I'll take you to the beach one of these days."

"Will you bring Bella along too?" She asked, her smiling form playful.

"Not if you don't want me to." I responded. Feeling no guilt whatsoever, because she was special, and I couldn't share her, and I did whatever she wanted me to.

"Oh, I don't mind." She shrugged while looking at my lap.

"I think you do."

"Well…." She laughed, softly, her eyes shining brighter.

"It's been a week since I've talked to you like this, and I've missed it so much."

"But you haven't missed me?" She replied. God, how did her eyes do that?

"Of course." I replied trying to match her stare,

"I've missed you too"