A/N: This chapter has been done for weeks and I'm finally getting around to post it. I guess some of the ballet stuff is pretty confusing,I can't really make it too clear. I might have led people to believe I've made Lia a "Ballet Mary-Sue" but, in all reality, in order to make it into a school like PNBS, and to get hired by a major company, you sort of have to be perfect. In every aspect of the word, perfect ballet body, lots and lots of talent, dedication, and a hell of a lot of luck. So yeah, it was basically necessary, or else, Lia wouldn't make it!
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.
-Lia Pov-
"And I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger?"
I was in a smoky club somewhere, wearing a black lace dress. I couldn't see too far out, the smoke that surrounded me, blinding my sight. Dean Martin was lulling behind me on the stage, his tall figure looking out in the crowd, a drunken stare, serene in it's feature. It was a slow melody, the original, without the fussy chorus.
Everybody loves somebody sometime…
He continued singing as I wandered around the club. A sense of urgency suddenly awakening my senses.
Everybody falls in love somehow
I started frantically searching through the foggy bar, turning people from seat to seat. I was getting desperate. I had to find something, no... someone.
Something, in your kiss… just told me…
My eyes burned incredulously now as the fog wrapped a cocoon around me, the smell of alcohol filling my senses, my heels starting to cause me pain.
Man after man, person after person, I searched hard, knowing I would soon wake up.
that sometime…
Suddenly, I crashed into a pair of two strong arms, arms I would recognize anywhere. They wrapped around my shoulders, moving down my back, steadying me before swaying my body side to side. I leaned in closer, smelling the strong scent of scotch and winter, as his face drew closer, closer, and everything cleared marginally, as his lips traced my neck, my jaw, slowly kissing their way towards the corners of my mouth…
Is now.
I slammed the alarm clock with as much might as my tired body allowed me to.
It rang, rang, rang, rang, rang.
Damn it. 7:00 am.
Forks High started at 7:45 sharp, and we were leaving in 30 minutes. The alarm clock had originally been set to wake me up at 6:30, but Bella was a fool if she thought I would wake up at such an ungodly hour.
I groaned, cursing Jesus for doing this to me.
I woke up to the most painful feeling in the middle of my chest. The hollowness of having the most bittersweet dream interrupted by the harsh sounds of reality.
Sighing slightly, I got up, quickly getting dressed.
Today was the first day of Forks High. Today was the day I would enter a public high school with lower middle class students who drove beat up trucks to school.
I, in all my private school and Mercedes Benz and uniform glory, should've stomped and whined and complained about dropping to such bourgeois methods of education. I should've thrown a bitch fit.
But no, I did nothing of the sort, because, well… I was actually excited for today to come.
Today I would go to a school with kids completely different from me, today I would walk around in new Burberry while hopeless cheerleader wannabees drooled on their imitation GAP t-shirts. I would be the new girl and all eyes would be on me and I would be above everyone. It was only natural to be excited for such unwavering attention.
Except that I wasn't. I would've been had I woken up dreamless. But putting Dean Martin, cigar smoke, and the smell of winter together lead to disastrous results in relation to the heart, further rendering my previous eagerness to blatant hate.
The last thing I wanted to do this morning was watch mister and misses Cullen for a solid seven hours.
I rested my eyes for a couple of minutes, deciding to get up whenever someone felt like barging in and making me.
I decided to peek at the time, 8:05. Shit. I jumped out of bed as I fast walked towards the bathroom. School started in 25 minutes.
I put on my makeup, brushed my teeth, and put on a pair of Seven jeans, a decent coat, and sunglasses.
I stumbled over to the living room, where, surprise, surprise, Bella and Edward where waiting patiently for me.
Bella was already done with her breakfast. Mine was next to her seat, a soggy lump of carbs and fatty dairy ready to ruin my already horrible morning. The lump would seep into my bone marrow, making it impossible to burn off.
"You need to wake up earlier so you can eat breakfast." Bella informed me in her usual motherly manner. I ignored her as I sat down and dipped my spoon into 140 calories of frosted sugar and processed calcium.
"Did you hear me?" She repeated, sounding more and more like a certain someone who hadn't even bothered to call me since she dumped me in this place.
"Yes." I answered with gritted teeth. Suddenly feeling in no mood to play with her mommy games today. Charlie was gone as usual, and my real mother hadn't even bothered to make a phone call.
A thousand curse words stringed through my brain the moment Bella continued to talk, even if it wasn't to me. Everything that came out of her mind sounded so idiotic.
After I finished with my disgusting excuse for breakfast (140) I snatched my car keys from the table and walked out the door. I knew Edward's eyes were following me, I hadn't even uttered so much as a good morning… or a goodbye.
How could I? My heart was still not in my chest, I didn't know where it had gone.
It made me feel so alone, made everything worse. I hated dreaming.
.
I got into my Mercedes and immediately plugged in my iPod, turning my fingers on the pad until I found my Dean Martin play list. I played that same damn song I had heard over and over in my dream.
I listened to him all the way to school. Losing myself in his romantic sounds, trying to desperately conjure the false memory back into my head.
I gripped the steering wheel even harder, willing my heart to come back to me, to rid me of this horrible emptiness.
I arrived at Forks High much too soon for my liking, I toyed with the idea of ditching and just spending the day in Seattle, but I was already pretty sure at the kind of trouble I'd be in if I were to do that.
Bella would throw a bitch fit, and Charlie would have no idea what to do. This would proceed to an awkward call to my mother, whom, as I said before, had yet to call.
With a heavy sigh, I left the comfort of my patent, leather-seat car and threw myself into the jungle that was high school.
I already missed her, the heat the air conditioning brought me now gone.
I grudgingly walked towards the office, feeling my toes starting to numb, already sensing the stares headed in my direction, and my car.
I shoved my sunglasses further up my nose, too melancholy to even enjoy such attention. Why I even brought sunglasses here went beyond even my comprehension. Maybe it was because it reminded me of home and of who I used to be. I couldn't find who I was now, and I had to be somebody, so I just recycled my old personality and threw it over my skeleton. The real me was stuck somewhere behind a glass wall.
I opened the heavy glass door and made my way into the pathetic washed out office.
I spotted the poor old secretary and strode purposefully towards her.
"Hi, my name is Lillianne Du Pont. I'm new here and I need to pick up my schedule?" I questioned as though I wasn't sure if I was in the right place. Which was a lie, there was only one office in this school, I wasn't lost.
Her face lit up immediately as recognition set in. Small towns.
"Oh that's right, your father came to enroll you a couple of days ago correct?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"Well then dear, let me just print out your schedule, I need you to get it signed by all your teachers, you can return it back to the office at the end of the day."
Ms. Cope, whose name I had learned by the dated plate on her desk, smiled warmly at me as I thanked her. She was such a nice old lady.
I excitedly looked towards my schedule, new schedules meant change, I welcomed change.
Period 1: Pre- Calculus
Period 2: AP U.S History
Period 3: Spanish IV
Period 4: Honors Physics
Lunch
Period 5: AP English Composition
I mentally groaned as I found out what my dreaded first period would be, math. Ugh.
I now knew why my father had been so preoccupied with this school. I had Spanish IV instead of AP Spanish Composition. Rather then taking AP Physics, I would be repeating it once more in the honors course.
I brightened up slightly as I realized how much easier the coursework this year would be.
I looked towards the map and followed it to my first period; room 56, Mr. White.
I hid my earphones with my hair as I turned up Dean Martin's voice in my ears. I pointedly ignored all the people who where looking on like a bunch of blundering baboons.
I glanced quickly at the school map Ms. Cope had handed me again to reassure where I was heading. Finally arriving at the door, I stuffed the paper back into my school bag.
I went straight in, walked right up to my teacher's desk, and introduced myself.
"My name is Lillianne Du Pont, I'm new here, can you sign this for me please?" I handed him the white sheet of paper.
He dawned the same look Mrs. Cope had in her office.
"Oh right, Lillianne,"
"Call me Lia," I requested.
"Right, Lia, here you go.. There's an open seat next to the window on the right, second row.." He said, pointing to the seat he was talking about.
"Thank you," I muttered.
I turned up my iPod as loud as it could go, and looked out the window as disdainfully as possible. I was in no mood for the budding conversation that would surely follow with the people around me; were I to look more friendly.
"It's like, not even sunny here, you should take your sunglasses off." I heard a muffled voice say somewhere in the distance.
I mentally groaned. It wasn't that the comment was bitchy. It actually was, it was just the way she said it. She hadn't mean to be rude, she just wanted to start a conversation.
I smiled sarcastically at the girl who dared speak to me, taking in her head full of curls and her distracting mouth, which was currently snapping away at a piece of a gum.
I slowly took my glasses off, never taking my eyes off of hers, I could tell she was having second thoughts about saying her previous words.
I tilted my head slightly "That better?" The girl continued to stupidly stare, so I did the only thing any sensible person would do, I ignored her.
"Don't pay attention to Jessica, she's not exactly the best conversation starter,"
I looked surprisingly to the second idiot who had interrupted my silent pondering.
He had a boyish look this face, with bright blue eyes and white blond hair. He was cute, I suppose, for a high school teen. At least his face wasn't filled with acne.
"And you are?" I returned, not as sarcastically as I intended,
"Mike Newton," he took his hand out, I looked at it for a while, before I decided to shake it. "This here's Jessica," he pointed to curly head.
I stuck out my hand for her, as this time, she stared at it.
"Sorry about earlier, new school, you know? I'm sort of nervous." lies, all lies, I just suddenly didn't feel like being such a bitch.
She seemed to accept my apology as she shook my hand brightly.
"No problem, cute coat by the way," She smiled cheekily at me, I immediately warmed to her.
"Thanks, I like your jeans." I added, which wasn't a lie.
She giggled slightly as she thanked me back.
"I'm Lia, by the way."
Her eyes lit up in excitement.
"Oh my god, it's totally crazy Mike, this is like, the second new girl in two years!" You should've seen the way her face looked. I mean, from her apparent enthusiasm, you would've thought Leonardo DiCaprio had waltzed in and asked her to marry him.
I looked at her strangely, not understanding why this was such a big deal, there were always new girls at the Montessori School back in Santa Barbara.
"We never have new students Lia, Forks isn't exactly the hippest town to move to if you know what I mean." Mike explained.
Of course, it made perfect sense.
"Where'd you move from Lia?" Jessica prodded, genuinely interested.
"Santa Barbara…well, California." I further explained. I hated it when new people just said the city they came from. It's not like you knew if you weren't from that state.
"Really?" Mike quipped, "That's where I'm..." He immediately stopped talking.
His head suddenly made a sharp turn towards the door, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I followed his trail, as I saw Edward and Bella walking in, hand in hand.
Jessica and Mike suddenly looked at me, then back at Edward, then back at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You, why aren't you?… huh." Jessica and Mike both had looks of confusion on their faces,
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're trying to say." My eyes lingered on Edward's as he took his seat, whispering to Bella as he did so.
"Aha! And there it is!" Mike shouted in triumph.
"What?" I exclaimed, not understanding the least bit where this conversation was leading to.
"You stared at Cullen,"
"I did what?"
"Don't worry" Jessica imputed, "It's natural."
"What are you two talking about?" I glanced between the two teenagers, as a satisfactory smile set on both of their faces.
"We call it the Cullen Syndrome around here Lia," Mike said, his eyes holding a hint of sympathy,
I was still looking at Edward
"The what?" I answered distractedly as Edward smirked in my direction.
"It's perfectly normal to be smitten," Jessica sounded like a damn counselor, "It happens to everyone."
"Smitten?" I responded, comprehension finally dawning on me, "You think I'm checking Edward out?"
"We know so, it's al… wait, you know his name? How do you know his name?" Jessica's mouth spewed out her words as her greedy eyes landed on mine.
"He's my cousin's… I mean... he's my friend." I smiled at him hoping he was glad I didn't say "my cousin's boyfriend." He smiled back, pleased at my answer.
Jessica looked absolutely shocked.
"Oh my god! How do you know him?"
"Bella's my cousin." I explained,
"Oh." was all Jessica had time to say before the bell rang and Mr. White banished all talk for the rest of the period.
Edward POV
Why the fuck do they even call it a polynomial, this makes no fucking sense!
Lia was absolutely fuming at the moment, she had recently declared her all-consuming hate for pre-calculus, and further wanted to find the person who invented said "repulsive subject" so she could "stab him with a fork."
I had no idea why she was so angry at the teacher, or the subject. As absolutely boring as it was for me, it should've been exciting for her young mind.
She was a junior in a senior class, she was obviously brilliant. But the fact that she didn't completely and absolutely understand the lesson was stressing her already fragile brain.
I marginally understood why it was bothering her so. Math was not an easy subject. Aside from that, she was getting most of her calculations right. There were a few marginal errors here and there but it was nothing that couldn't be fixed with a bit of extra studying.
Her mind continued to wander, as her murderous thoughts on the subject of calculus all but diminished as she thought of what was to come later in the day.
She imagined herself in her ballet classes, and her old teachers, as well as the other dance students.
I wonder if Amber got moved up to level VII, has Anthony received a spot on the apprentice program? Did Isabel really end up moving to SAB?
When will I move up? And the student workshop, it's in four months! And the casting is sure to happen soon, what if I don't get a decent part? What if Jade gets the lead this year? What if I have to be in the corps? What if I'm not even eligible to participate? And if this would've been next year, I wouldn't get hired! No one gets a job offer if they're stuck in the corps, and if I get stuck there for this workshop, what if I stay there next year?
She was positively hyperventilating at this point, trying to remember the repertory they would perform this year.
Rose Adagio, Serenade, excerpt from the Prodigal Son, and the Balcony Pas de Deux.
Serenade! What if I get a corps role? What if Isabel gets the solo, no… if she's still here, she'll probably get the Rose Adagio, poor her. Of course she's getting it, the skinny bitch, I hope she's at SAB. She can't get that solo, that's my solo! She can take the stupid Rose Adagio, I would be horrible at it, but Serenade? No way. No way in hell!
I snickered. Lia was a sight to behold when she was basking in her teenage immaturity.
Of course Jordan might get that solo too, seeing as she has lightning feet, why the hell did I have to stop dancing? Two months! That's two months too long!
She groaned loudly as her head smacked unto her desk.
She was going to get a migraine with her stress-induced thoughts, I looked to my right as I noticed Bella's stare.
"What are you thinking of?" she whispered,
"Nothing of great importance." I replied, looking back at her with a playful gaze, so as not to worry her. To no avail, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Are you sure? Whose thoughts are you listening to then?"
"What do you mean?" I continued with charade, wondering why I was lying to her.
"It's just unlike you."
"Unlike me to do what?" I couldn't really understand what she was getting at, it's not as if I've ever acted as though I was paying attention during class.
"To do, that, I mean just start randomly smiling at nothing." She was still looking towards the front of the classroom, suddenly, her eyes flickered over to Lia's direction.
She continued to stare at her out of the corner of her eye, Lia was currently shaking her leg up and down in fast, rhythmic movements, one of her hands was tucked under her chin, her body leaning slightly forward, her eyes trying in vain to read the small numbers on the projector, attempting to write coherent notes.
If she was being honest with herself, she would comprehend that she was much too tired to even try to understand what Mr. White was teaching.
"Have you been listening to her thoughts?" Bella's accused, her voice rising slightly.
"Who's?" I answered distractedly.
Her eyes narrowed as she noticed that I hadn't comprehended her question.
"I can't read your mind love." I reminded her, hoping she would drop the subject.
I smiled down at her, adoring the way her warm brown eyes widened slightly at my unwavering stare.
"Lia's" she faltered, her heart quickening marginally.
"Not in particular, although she has been cursing the teacher profusely, it's rather loud, I'm sorry." I stroked her hand underneath the desk, and held it there.
Her beautiful irises softened ever so slightly, as she nodded.
"Don't worry about it, I'm sorry for acting so stupid."
"Don't say that love, it's nothing to feel sorry for." I lowered my voice slightly as I saw Lauren and Tyler's head turn towards Bella and I.
I wasn't lying to Bella, after all, Lia had been damning the teacher, but I could not deny the fact that I was listening to her thoughts rather than paying attention to other things.
During second period, I entertained myself by listening to the sounds of Lia's hand furiously raising every one or two minutes.
She would answer Mr. Kissinger's questions with lightning speed, giving enough detail to anger Bill Simons, who had until very recently been at the top of his U.S History class.
It was quite endearing, seeing Lia so interested in The New Deal and FDR. It gave me a sense of pride to hear her speak so passionately about the time era of which I remembered most.
I was careful during this time to equally span my attention towards Bella as well. It made me feel guilty, somewhat, to even lead her to imagine that she wasn't interesting to me. She was, but it wasn't my wish to see her fall behind her classes, so I listened to Lia's thoughts to pass the time. This way, I wouldn't interrupt her lessons.
I heard the bell ring loudly as I picked up Bella's things. At that exact moment, Jessica and Lauren walked up to her.
"So Bella, I hear your cousin is friend's with Edward."
It was obvious that they were speaking low enough so as though I wouldn't hear. Still, it was rather stupid, I was standing merely three feet away from her.
"Yes, she is." Bella said with as much patience as she could muster, my sweet, darling Bella.
Lauren and Jessica smirked at the same time, the wheels in their heads spinning.
Lauren stepped a bit closer to Bella, muttering. Such wasted efforts.
"Aren't you like, totally afraid that she's going to steal him away from you? I mean, not to be rude or anything, but…" she looked Bella up and down obnoxiously, I decided that it was time to intervene.
"Excuse us ladies, but we don't want to be late to class."
I kissed Bella full on her lips, as both Lauren and Jessica gawked with their mouths open.
I took her by the waist and escorted her out the door.
"Don't listen to anything they tell you love, you know they just want to bother you."
Bella stayed quiet for a second longer than I expected her to.
"Love?" I asked, looking at her intently, I wanted to make sure she was okay.
"Yeah, I know. They're so annoying." she fumed, I knew she was trying to brush the comment off, but I could easily see she was still upset.
"I love you Bella, nothing can take that away." I kissed her cheek and brought her closer to me. I wanted to say more to her, remind her that I would've never asked for her hand were I not to have such strong feelings for her, but every time I mentioned any kind of word relating to marriage, she would visibly cringe.
Up ahead, I saw Lauren and Jessica corner Lia in the hallway,
"So Lia, you want to have lunch with us?" Jessica asked her
"Yeah, you totally should, Bella and Edward sit there too, but well, it's not like they actually have lunch with us." Lauren added with a flick of her hair,
"Is that so?" Lia eyed me tauntingly, her smile looked so fake that it belonged in a cover of a magazine,
"It's like, they're in their own little word or something," Jessica explained.
"Oh, that's too bad, and to think I was actually looking forward to having a conversation with them.." Lia was still giving me that look. "Anyway, yeah, I'll have lunch with you guys."
Her smile was shining, as well as her eyes, she shifted her weight slightly to her left leg as her head tilted ever so slightly, her hair moving with it.
"Great! The cafeteria isn't that big, you can spot us from like, a mile away." Jessica was absolutely beaming now, staring at Lia like a shiny new toy.
"Cool, so I'll see you guys after fourth?"
"Definitely," Mike Newton added, as he came around and put an arm around Jessica's shoulders.
Oh man, she's so hot, if she didn't look like such a bitch… I bet she's a freak in the sheets, but damn, she looks innocent. How the hell does a girl look innocent and like a bitch at the same time?
I balled my fists at the vile thoughts of the Newton boy, Bella noticed this.
She followed my gaze, and scoffed. "I see Newton's got his eye on the prize, honestly, he's a menace to new girls everywhere."
I chuckled at Bella's wit, "Honestly, the boy can't keep it in his pants for more than two seconds, it's revolting."
"Still, I don't believe he'll get very far with Lia, she can be pretty scary."
I laughed louder this time, "He's already scared of her love."
She humored me, "And he's still fantasizing? She'll kill him." Bella shook her head good naturedly.
I saw Lia laughing at something the Newton boy said, as his stare lingered on her for a second too long.
"Edward, what are you doing?"
I hadn't really noticed that I was making my way over to their small group as we spoke, Bella trailing hot behind my heels.
"Edward," Lia greeted warmly, "glad to see we're worthy of you and Bella's time." She teased
"Good morning to you to Lia."
Lauren, Jessica, and Newton were now staring as though I had sprouted a tree above my head.
Lauren was trying to look as nonchalant as possible, copying Lia's relaxed pose as she turned her head slightly, exposing her neck in what she believed to be a seductive manner.
"Tell me Edward, will you be actually eating lunch with us today, or will you and Bella shut yourselves off as I hear you normally do?"
Bella's feet were shuffling as she started playing with her nails, Lauren was trying to lock her into her fierce glare.
"If it bothers you so much, I think I can make an exception."
Bella and Lauren both looked sharply between me and Lia, it seemed as though everyone in the group was now wearing a mask of awe and shock.
"Wow," Lia responded sarcastically, "an exception for me? How kind of you to do so,"
"You know I didn't mean it like that." I answered her, as she brightened up slightly with my response.
It as though the words "you" and "I" had been the pump which beheaded the group's head in an explosion.
This gawking didn't seem to affect Lia in the slightest, I don't believe she was paying very much attention to them.
"Well then it's settled, I guess all see all of you at lunch." Her smile broadened as she quickly waved goodbye, trotting on her way.
"Woah." Jessica finally responded.
"I don't think I've ever heard Cullen speak to someone for that long." The Newton responded.
"Yeah, unless it's Bella." Lauren sneered, "he doesn't even talk to her out loud in front of us."
"In case you didn't notice, we're standing right here." Bella snapped, her eyes furious.
She grabbed my hand and led us away,
"Are you alright love?" Bella was visibly fuming, her long chestnut hair swishing back and forth as she took quicker steps.
"Yeah, we're just going to be late for class is all." She was a horrible liar.
"I know that isn't it Bella, what's wrong?" I tried to slow her down without causing a scene. To my success, her steps slowed.
"I'm sorry, Edward" she buried her face in her hands for a second, "I've been getting so frustrated lately, it isn't your fault, I swear it isn't, it's just that…" I stayed quiet, listening intently. "God, they just get me so angry sometimes."
She walked faster again, barely making it to class before the bell shrilled.
As we sat down next to each other, I tried to soothe her by running my hands along her back.
I gently kissed her jaw as our Mrs. Espana, our Spanish Lit. teacher, called us to attention.
Lia POV
I guess it was wrong to say that I was enjoying the stares Bella kept giving me in the hall, I'm pretty sure I would go to hell for saying that it made me happy to see Bella so uncomfortable around others.
Why you ask? It was the way they were together, so fucking oblivious to everything around them.
It was the way Bella completely ignored the looks of envy every girl that passed the two gave her, it was the way she looked so fragile and weak next to him.
It was the way she looked so frightened, as though she needed constant protecting, it was the way they bent their heads close to talk to each other, whispering their declarations of love.
It was the way I kept hearing him mutter "love" to her.
It was the way she looked do damn breakable, the way he was always holding onto her, as if she would fall apart if he weren't.
It angered me so much, it sent fire through my veins, it made me want to send her into the deepest pit of hell in this god forsaken planet.
Did she not know the way everyone looked at her? Did she not understand?
I kept repeating the way Edward looked on Valentine's Day, his brave front had completely shattered under insecurity. How could she do that?
Did she not know?
The way he tried so damn hard to shower her with his undying love.
Did she not know?
The way she moaned about not being able to visit Jacob, in reality, she could've, if she really wanted to she could've. How she flinched every time he even spoke remotely of a wedding, marriage, the way she had to force herself to call him her fiancé.
Did she really not understand?
I wanted to rip her apart, I wanted to wipe off that petty smile and that sickening blush, and open her fucking eyes, as wide as they were, they still saw nothing.
Edward POV
Unsurprisingly, Lia had one more class with us, AP Physics.
I marveled at the challenges she put in front of herself. She was not lazy.
I idly wondered what she would challenge herself with next year, seeing as she was already taking all of the advanced placement classes Forks had to offer, there weren't many to choose from.
Bella and I quickly got into our seats, so similar to the ones on that faithful day in biology. It brought my heart so much joy to remember.
I smiled fondly as I reminisced those first few moments me and Bella shared together, the ride from Port Angeles, when she found out what I really was, the most memorable.
"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked softly, never letting go of my hand.
"About the first time we met, in biology." I smiled wider, foolishly, feeling so in love with her at the moment…
"Of course, I used to love going to the Santa Monica Pier!"
I heard a familiar tinkling of laughter,
"Me too, of course I didn't go there very often, since Santa Monica was like, two hours away and I already lived by the beach. But I used to love going on that Ferris Wheel."
"Oh yeah, it looked liked you were just about to fall into the ocean when you were going back down!" Newton exclaimed, Lia giggled.
It irritated me.
"My favorite Ferris Wheel is the one in Disney's California Adventure though, because it's like this huge swing" Lia swung her fingers in front of her hand for good measure, "they have a light show in the water in front of the Ferris Wheel now too."
"Do they really?" Newton asked in astonishment
"Hold on." Lia interrupted as she handed the slip to Mr. Banner for him to sign.
"Ms. Lillianne,"
"Call me Lia."
"Well, Ms. Lia, it seems as though there's an empty seat right behind Edward, Edward wave your hand so she knows who you are."
"Oh it's alright, I know where to go."
Another girl infatuated with the boy already, poor her.
I snickered at Mr. Banner's thoughts as Bella and I turned to talk to her.
"So, "she started, "who sits next to me?" I smiled mentally at the fact that Newton had been omitted from this conversation.
"Katie Marshall" Bella informed her, which Lia thanked with a glare.
Bella was stunned, to say the least, at Lia's sudden change in mood. It hurt her, I could tell, how Lia seemed to be so open to others, while shunning her own cousin.
"Well, you asked." Bella muttered, turning around in her seat, ignoring her. Her eyes weren't filled with melancholy, the way I would've expected it. Hard, cold, unwavering, angry. On both girls.
The bell suddenly rang as Katie came rushing in.
Twenty minutes later, Mr. Banner was performing his routine inspection of the student's calculations. I heard Lia curse in her mind as he approached the two girls' desk.
I had learned one thing about Lia today, she was spectacularly horrible with numbers.
I snickered as I heard Mr. Banner attempt explaining in vain how to properly calculate the equation. While Katie was listening intently, Lia had completely given up and decided to stare at Mr. Banner's mole instead.
I couldn't hold in the laughter as Lia's mind tried to process how anyone could be born with such a huge birth mark, to no avail.
Bella was staring at me in poorly disguised irritation as Mr. Banner's patience fused.
"Mr. Cullen," he turned to look at me, obviously flustered.
"Seeing as you and Bella seem to have no problems with these equations, why don't you switch partners with Katie?"
"What?" Bella spluttered, Mr. Banner turned a sharp glare at her direction that told her to stop complaining.
"Switch. Now."
I gathered my things quickly as Katie reluctantly moved to sit next to Bella.
"Maybe she'll pay more attention when he's teaching her." Mr. Banner muttered to himself as he walked away from our tables.
"Hello partner." Lia said slowly.
"This is no time for chit chat Ms. Du Pont." Lia straightened in her chair considerably.
"Teach away, I don't want to keep you from your darling Bella for too long."
"Something tells me that you aren't going to pay very much attention to what I have to teach you."
Lia faked shock.
"You'd be surprised." she winked at me, as I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.
Lia had successfully understood the equation by the second time I explained it to her, and she further proceeded to finish her worksheet in around three minutes.
She was either brilliant at learning with the right teacher or she had done this on purpose.
"Well Lia, I'm impressed."
She smiled proudly, tapping her brain.
"It's all up here, it's called intelligence." She winked again.
"I supposed an excellent teacher helps as well."
"Of course," she smiled, "teachers are very important."
I smiled back. "We have thirty minutes to kill, Mr. Banner isn't switching me back."
"Does this mean your going to stay my partner?"
"I believe it does."
Lia smiled even wider.
"I'm relieved, I get to pass this class with an A."
"It seems as though your suggesting that I'm going to help you all the time."
"Why wouldn't you? You have to," she was doing that awfully cute head tilt again, her chin resting on her hand, moving to the side of her cheek, down to her neck.
His eyes are so light, like butterscotch candy, melting caramel, on ice cream… with chocolate chips and rolled in butter, down my mouth…
She closed her eyes, her thoughts leading to a dangerous place.
She was hungry, I could hear it in everything she thought, everywhere she looked, it was there. Food, but she couldn't. Want, but she couldn't. What was stopping her?
"Hey," I touched her arm, wondering if she was ok. She looked into my eyes again, thinking nothing.
Without breaking eye contact, Lia somehow managed to end up with her head on the desk, as if she were taking a nap.
"What time did you fall asleep last night?" I inquired
"I didn't." she answered with a small yawn.
She closed her eyes slowly, sighing softly.
I flinched as my body moved of it's own accord, towards her.
106. Two down.
I felt a stab in my heart as I heard her thoughts, she dismissed them as soon as they were let out as her eyes opened to look straight into mine, wary, as though wondering if I just heard that.
I gently put my hand on top of hers as she stared at it intently.
I vaguely noticed that Lauren and Jessica where now staring at our desk, their heads bent together, whispering furiously
"Look at them, can you believe it?"
"Why can't I be a new girl too? Maybe he has a thing for them?"
"I wonder what Bella thinks of this new found friendship."
"Just look at her face, it's like red from anger or something."
Bella was actually blushing at the moment, because Katie, being the talker that she was, seemed to think it'd be a good idea to inform my love on her sexual experience.
Why this would be a topic of conversation with an acquaintance was beyond me, but it gave me a good thing to tease Bella about.
I turned my attention back to Lia, who was tracing small circles in my hand, her soft skin sending a tingling sensation through my body, it was incredibly soothing.
"Lia" I muttered
Her eyes were closed, her breathing steady, her touch was softer now… floating above my skin.
I closed my eyes as well, as she started humming to herself, lightly playing a tune on top of my cold flesh…. It was Dean Martin.
She was close to sleep now, as her mind started conjuring up images of their own accord, her breathing grew slightly heavier, slower, her fingers moving only slightly.
She was in a foggy club, filled with smoke, flickering back to black, and then back to the club, she was walking in a fast pace, flickering back to black, she kept turning people around, one after the other.
"What?" she murmured after the image in her head disappeared.
"hmm?" I asked, as I caressed her hand.
"You said my name," she explained, her voice laced with sleepiness
"A little late now don't you think?" I whispered endearingly, smiling down at her semi-sleeping form.
I lay my head next to hers, mimicking her position, as I continued to stare at her eyelids.
"Still, were you going to tell me something?"
Everybody finds somebody someplace,
I heard the song playing in her head as well as from the little speaker in her ear. Her iPod tucked safely in her pocket.
There's no telling where love may appear
"You have excellent taste in music." I responded, smiling at her, she opened her eyes slowly.
Something in my heart keeps saying, my someplace is here.
"I have a hodgepodge taste in music," She smiled contentedly. Still far off in her Dean Martin fantasy. She was still thinking of that foggy club, it reminded me of our night in Seattle, and the way she danced with me.
"If I had it in my power, I'd arrange for every girl to have your charms." I sang along as her tired smile grew wider,
"Then every minute, every hour, every boy would find what I found in your arms" She sang back to me, closing her eyes again.
She let out a soft sigh as she further retreated into her mind.
I felt everyone's eyes on us, well… besides Bella's, who was still finishing her equations, considering she had to practically do all of Katie's after explaining them to her for the umpteenth time.
"Just look at them together, you can't tell me there isn't something going on." Tyler whispered to Ben
Leave it to the shiny new girl to get a piece of Cullen as well, stupid bitch. Lauren's thought's screamed.
Just staring at Lia though, it melted all the whispers and accusations as well, I could care less about the gossipy nature of the Forks population.
It was different, it was beyond this classroom, this day, these thoughts. Somehow Lia's intervention in my life had caused a corner of my heart to open, to a place I never knew. It was a different shade of love, with a different depth, and a different meaning. It was above this existence, in it's own world. An escape, a comfort in the darkness that enveloped her, the one that had been lifted off of me with Bella's return.
If Bella was in this situation rather than Lia, I would've normally kept all the accusations to myself. But because it was Lia, not Bella, I had the urge to let her in on the secret. We would have a good laugh about it. But it just seemed wrong, as though it would break our vigil.
Seeing the way her head was laying on the desk, her eyelashes long and her lips delicate, her elfin ears poking out through her hair. I couldn't disturb her. Just as much as I couldn't tease her about her ears, she hated it when I mentioned them.
I lightly traced the skin behind them as she tried unsuccessfully to swap my hand away.
"Elf." I whispered, as the bell rang.
She childishly stuck her tongue out as I rushed to pick up Bella's books.
As soon as I had left the desk, Newton came to her rescue. The pathetic little idiot.
"Hey, Lia."
"Hey Mike," she yawned.
"You're tired aren't you? Must be the jet lag."
I wonder what they give for lunch at this rotten school
The idiot, California and Washington only had an hour's time difference.
"Sure it is," Lia responded looking straight ahead,
I should've brought lunch today, who knows what's awaiting for me in that cafeteria.
"So you're sitting with us at lunch today aren't you?" Newton was hanging on her every word.
They probably have gross, fatty frozen food, like the kind on that reality show on the Food Network.
"Mhmm." Lia still wasn't looking at him, but she wasn't being rude either.
"Ready to go Edward?" I snapped out of Lia's thoughts, turning towards Bella.
"Ready when you are love." I leaned down and kissed her softly on her neck, treasuring the sweet, sweet blood that flowed just behind the delicate skin.
"Yes, I'm ready," her voice strained. I looked towards her then, her eyes troubled.
I no longer wished to ask her what was wrong, I had more than an idea of what was on her mind. I didn't want to instigate, Bella was being Bella. I remembered the look on her face when she heard about Rosalie, then Tanya. Jealousy was natural for humans, I didn't judge her on that. I would however, make sure she knew she had nothing to worry about.
I quickly kissed her knuckles before entwining her hand with my own as Lia, Newton, and Jessica walked slightly in front of us.
"So how was physics?" Bella asked, an edge to her voice.
"It was alright," I shrugged, "Such a shame that I didn't get to work with my favorite partner," I leaned down and kissed her cheek, lingering slightly.
Her eyes went a little hazy as she struggled to form her next sentence.
"I missed you to, at least you had Lia to keep you company," She was hinting at something, that I was sure of.
"I'm sorry for having to leave you in the company of Katie love, it must've been absolute torture." I tried to make her forget about her current train of thought, I would hate for Bella to doubt my loyalties. She was mine, as I was hers.
"So Lia, this is it, the Forks High cafeteria," Mike was attempting to sound grandiosely funny,
Lia smiled brightly, "Well, at least it matches the scenery outside," she commented, mentioning the school colors, silver and green.
"I'm pretty sure it isn't as fancy as your cafeteria back home," Jessica tried to insert herself in the conversation,
"We didn't really have a cafeteria actually, we just had little cart's all over the campus that sold food and drinks and stuff." Lia replied with a chirp in her voice, her charismatic nature shining.
"Oh my god, that must've been so cool!"
Lia shrugged nonchalantly, "You get used to it, most California campuses are outdoors, no one really ate inside or anything."
"You are so lucky, how come you aren't tan though? Bella wasn't either, not when she came from Arizona." Jessica's nasal passages began to clog up.
"Well I'm here now aren't I? Not so lucky anymore, and I've been in Washington for about a month so… no chance for tanning, I never really had time for that either, I was usually indoors."
She meant she was usually in her ballet classes rather than being out on the beach.
I waited in line behind Lia as she put a cup of fat free yogurt and a small bruised apple on her tray.
I was momentarily entranced at the way her hair shone in the light, the slight swishing of it sending tiny gasps of black roses my way.
As discreetly as I could, I added a sandwich and a bowl of broccoli cheese soup along with her scarce food choices. Bella had told me that once, broccoli cheese soup had been her favorite.
She turned to look at me then, noticing her full plate. As if the direction of her head held all the answers to life's mysteries, both Jessica, Lauren, and Newton looked where she was staring
"Thanks," she muttered, before turning back around.
Bella turned to look at me as well, confusion written on her face as she slowly comprehended that I had added substance to Lia's almost-empty tray.
"You should pay more attention to what she's eating love," I whispered as I gently kissed her cheek, the smell of freesia burning every rose left in my nostrils.
Lia's head sharply turned as her eyes flashed with a look that resembled annoyance. She had heard what I said, she was touchy about the subject, touchy about anything to do with food.
"Looks like you're doing a good job for me." Bella leaned in closer to me, making my vision blur as her scent washed away all my senses. Lia turned around again, resuming her conversation with her newfound friends.
I focused on Lia's hair again, trying desperately to smell her sweet, dark scent. Something to take my mind off of the freesia currently burning my nostrils, my brain, my thought process. It was useless.
I leaned slightly away from Bella. It wasn't as easy for me to resist her scent as before, but my tolerance was slowly coming back.
She looked away from me then, crossing her arms against her chest in an obvious sign of displeasure. I sighed, knowing why she had been acting this way all day.
"I'm sorry love, your scent, it's still slightly maddening, I didn't mean to hurt you." I saw a slight break in Bella's eyes, before they retained their hardness.
She looked at me, exasperated.
"It would be a bit better if you weren't staring at her all the time." Her eyes met mine for a second, glaring, before turning her head once more.
"This again Bella?" I could hardly contain my tiredness with the subject, it had been the backdrop of our conversation since she arrived in Forks.
Did she know that was what I felt whenever she talked about Jacob? When she hinted at going to see him and threw my proposal back at my face, my mother's ring?
Bella shrugged, not in a mood to speak with me, I had angered her.
"Can we sit alone today?" Came her response,
Conflict washed over my features as I remembered what I had told Lia earlier. I had actually been looking forward to spending lunch with her. Not only that, but it was incredibly ignorant that she would choose to sit alone when she knew we had to be monitoring Lia's eating habits.
"Don't we need to watch that Lia eats." I questioned, hoping this would change her mind.
"Alice can stay and make sure she eats everything, we don't need to be there." It was a tone I had never heard come from Bella, I had never heard her be so careless. I almost wanted to tell her to stop talking that way, there was only one person who could get away with such a response.
I had promised Lia otherwise, but sensing Bella's distraught, I knew I had no choice.
"If you're sure, we don't have to stay at their table if you don't want to love." She stared straight ahead, looking at the retreating forms of Jessica, Lauren, Newton, and Lia as they sat down next to Alice.
Bella resolutely walked the opposite way, back to the table me and my family used to sit at. I could not pretend to not notice the way Lia's face fell as she watched me follow Bella.
Lia Pov
"Guess Swan got a little jealous," Mike smirked, looking at the retreating forms of Bella and Edward.
Jealous of what?
"Of what?" I voiced my thoughts, sensing the satisfaction that laced his answer.
"Oh come on Frenchie, it's obvious, new girl shows up, Bella hauls Edward's ass to sit alone." Mike was obviously delighted by these turn of events.
"Frenchie?" I smirked, questioning his new nickname.
"Yeah, I've never seen Bella act like that." Mike continued,
"Yeah, because she never acts like anything, the girl has no personality." Lauren sniffed, looking conspicuously at the two, then turning her attention to me.
"Where's Alice?" I asked, wondering why she wasn't sitting with us.
Jessica shrugged, "Maybe she didn't want to sit with us since Bella and Edward aren't."
Jessica scraped off the cheese on her burger, twisting her face in disgust. I closed my eyes briefly as I cursed my body for wanting to lick that cheese off of her food.
Stupid/fat/stupid/ugly/stupid/bitch/stupid/whore.
My stomach was wonderfully empty, the contents of my soppy breakfast had gone down the drain. Empty, empty, empty, empty. I was strong.
Slowly, very, very slowly, I opened my yogurt, careful not to lick any of the remaining gunk from the aluminum lid.
I could feel Edward burning a whole through my forehead, I acted as though I didn't notice. I couldn't hear what they were saying now, Jessica or Lauren or Angela or Tyler or Mike. I couldn't let myself, I had to focus.
I grabbed the plastic knife and retreated to cutting up my apple into equal slices, six of them. I peeled off the wrapper to my sandwich and started tearing it apart delicately, slowly, the scent of cheese and ham an mayonnaise permeating my senses, making my mind grow hazy. I continued to tear at it, trying to rid myself of all the bad thoughts that made me want to stuff the sandwich down my throat. Edward was still glaring at me, Bella had noticed.
He made to stand up, Bella… stopped him?
I set the shredded sandwich to the side, knowing that I should throw it away now before I gave into temptation. If I did so, people would start questioning. I closed my eyes again, careful not to breath through my nose. The horrid smells would be the death of me, those sinful delicacies.
Maintaining my pace, I picked up a slice of apple and bit the corner of it, chewing as much as I could, right until it practically dissolved on my tongue.
"Dance next week…"
"So excited!"
"Asked him yet?"
"About you Lia?"
I momentarily snapped out of my trance, staring right into the burning eyes of Edward. I then turned to the source calling my name, "huh?" I answered intelligently.
"Are you going Mike's party next weekend?" I thought they had been talking about a dance.
I tried to act as if I were interested, I discreetly looked towards Edward again, he was fuming.
"What day is it?" I questioned, biting another corner of an apple slice, chewing thoughtfully.
"Saturday! It'll be great were getting booze and everything, his parents are out of town, it'll be great." Two things happened at once, I perked up slightly and I mentally screamed at myself in my head.
Maybe it was Edward, maybe it was just a moral code I had set upon myself, or maybe it was my fear of calories. Coming to the conclusion that it was a combination of all three, I realized that I had no intentions of drinking, ever.
"I'm not sure," I shook my head, thinking of an excuse. Edward was close to growling.
"Awww come on, I heard Cali girls could party, don't tell my you're like your boring cousin over there…" Jessica egged me on, Mike nodding his head in enthusiastic agreement.
I suddenly got defensive, I wasn't Bella, I wasn't some pure-as-silk, timid, shy, waste of a teenager. Besides, I didn't have to drink if I got there, I could just drink diet coke all night. But, getting around to asking Charlie, that was something new all together.
"Ok, but what about my Uncle Charlie, he is the chief of police, you really think he'll let me go?" I countered, hoping they had a solution. I tried my hardest not to pay attention to the death glares Edward was shooting.
"Pfft…" Mike laughed as though I had said a bad joke, "Chief Swan loves me, he thinks I'm a golden boy or something, just tell him the party's at my house, he'll let you go."
"You said your parent's are out of town, would Charlie know this?" I continued, realizing how much I hated small towns.
"Golden boy remember? It won't matter." He was so sure, he waved his hand dismissively.
I had a very hard time believing this, no one in Santa Barbara would believe that any kind of teenage party was kept PG-13. Small-town parents must be delusional or something, at least in this town.
Edward Pov
It had taken a little more than fair convincing to explain to Bella why I didn't have a sixth period.
Well, someone needed to drive Lia to Seattle. Her classes started at 3:00, and she wouldn't get out until three hours after, she would be tired, there was no possible way she could drive the two or so hours back to Forks every night.
I was lucky enough to have Carlisle fill me out a formal doctor's note on my inability to attend P.E for the year, and Lia didn't need the class because her ballet studies were qualified by the state as a P.E substitute.
I waited by her Mercedes, fuming as I recalled her acceptance to attend that dreaded party.
I had a few choice words to say once she got here.
How could she be so naïve? Thinking she wouldn't drink if she were there, I had read all about peer pressure, Bella being an exception, I couldn't say the same for Lia.
I furrowed my brow in a desperate attempt to stay angry as I saw her flushed face rushing towards her car. She shrugged her dance bag as she hurriedly stuck pins all over her bun, tiny wisps of soft hair framing her face.
"Sorry, I had to change in the girl's restroom and some girl was giving a guy a… you know, and I was kind of embarrassed to just barge in their and start changing, and it smelled so bad and it felt kind of gross, I mean… taking off my clothes in a public bathroom whilst someone is getting head, but then I though how much more uncomfortable it would be for me to change in the car with you there, and I wasn't sure if I'd have enough time to change at the studio, it's my first day back and there's a strict tardy policy and…"
"Lia!" She took in a breath as she smiled sheepishly,
"Sorry, I got kind of excited," she touched her heart to her chest, letting out restless sigh "Ok, I lied, I'm really nervous, my heart's beating like crazy!"
I walked to her taking her arms and leaving them at her sides, her eyes were so wide… I smiled down at her, trying to calm her. She looked so adorable.
"Lia, please calm down, other than the disturbing event you just witnessed in the bathroom, why are you so nervous?"
She continued to calm her breathing as her eyes lowered slightly, she squirmed under my grip.
Because I'm afraid I'm going to be horrible compared to the others, two months off is next to ballet suicide.
"You have absolutely nothing to worry about Lia, you'll be amazing, I promise." I held on to her tighter, willing her to look me in the eye.
She finally looked up from the floor, "You're so sweet, you know that? But I'm not sure…" She tilted her head hesitantly, biting her lip in the process.
She always tilted her head, for everything, when she looked down, when she looked up, when she was angry, when she was teasing me, when she was smiling.
I pushed my previous anger out of my mind, focusing on the need of approval she was radiating.
I stepped closer, breathing in her scent, the roses that caused me no pain. She closed her eyes as she lay her forehead on my chest, sleep threatening to overwhelm her.
"Stop doubting yourself, enjoy it, you have nothing to worry about." I whispered in her ear, tracing intricate patterns unto her spine. I felt the goose bumps her arms produced; partly from the cold, partly from my touch.
She yawned as she leaned closer to me, shivering.
"It's too cold out here," she mumbled, her small feet taking steps forward, still holding me, she guided me backwards towards her car.
I chuckled, knowing that if it weren't for me helping her, she wouldn't have been able to move me. I kissed her temple as I closed the door to the passenger seat, and made my way to the driver's side.
She slept in the car, holding on to my hand the entire time.
I lazily flipped through the songs on her iPod, deciding to keep it on her play list.
Take one fresh and tender kissAdd one stolen night of blissOne girl, one boySome grief, some joyMemories are made of this
I was acutely aware of the pressure of Lia's hand on mine, however soft it may be. She wasn't dreaming, not yet. Bella's touch was always too much, I never showed it but it was. Too much bloodlust, too much temptation, to much pressure. The fragility of my control was tested time and time again and one day, one day it would break, of that I was sure. I would lean closer and her heart would thump wildly, I would kiss her and she would faint, I would look at her and blood would pool in her cheeks. It made me all the more nervous, seeing her reactions, as if I were doing things far more exciting. Options, there weren't to me. I would either turn her, or kill her.
Lia, didn't threaten, she didn't make me want to rip her throat open. she didn't faint, nor did she blush. Her touches were caring and easy when everything else about her wasn't. It was nice, to feel the warmth without it burning.Don't forget a small moonbeamFold in lightly with a dreamYour lips and mineTwo sips of wineMemories are made of this
I could imagine her now, the way her eyes would flutter softly, at times, particularly when she was tired, and how she would lean in towards me, would her heart beat faster? It wasn't obvious… most of the time, she would draw soft patterns wherever our limbs would touch. How she would nuzzle her head underneath me, the unknown designs she would lace with her fingertips. Would her lips, I wondered, would they do the same?
Then add the wedding bellsOne house where lovers dwellThree little kids for flavorStir carefully through the daysSee how the flavor staysThese are the dreams you will savor
I cursed myself as I gripped the steering wheel harder. Bella….was she thinking the same about Jacob? Was this what her mind was preoccupied with when she nonchalantly mentioned her wanting to see him? Did my opposing her visits with him only fuel these fantasies? And why, why did she insist on going to see him so strongly? The boy had imprinted on her, how could she not see what this would do to him, what it would do to you. I looked towards Lia as her head lulled to the side and her eyes fluttered before sleep overtook her once more.
My fiancée, my Bella. Did she want this? Did she really? She refused my ring and grudgingly accepted my offer, my deal. I growled in disgust, what I had put myself through to get her to be mine. Was my love not enough?
With His blessings from aboveServe it generously with loveOne man, one wifeOne love through lifeMemories are made of thisMemories are made of this
Why was it that the idea of marriage seemed so foolish in her presence? Why did I suddenly feel like a seventeen year-old boy who seemed to be rushing into an adult act? I had lived longer than most married couples lived, yet, just being near to her, made me feel infinitely younger. Alive, unprepared, afraid. The mere idea of God, of the heavens and hell, seemed to be questionable with her in my presence. Blessings, curses, sins and good deeds, what were they really? Had we been handed this fate for the sole reason to suffer in our existence? Surely, there could be no God so cruel as to do such a thing to her, and in turn, to me.
I longed for her to wake up so I could tell her this. I wanted to be selfish and shake her and ask her if she thought we would ever go to heaven, ask her if she believed me to be cursed. Her opinions mattered so much, as if her sixteen year-old philosophy held all the knowledge in the world. I stared at her sleeping form, sighing under my breath as I decided to let her get her rest. I knew she would not get much more after this.
We had all night to talk, to think, to dream.
Lia Pov
With Mike's party pushed to the back of my mind, I now fully had time to become a nervous wreck for my upcoming class.
I though of the looks of shock Isabel, Jade and Svetlana would give me once they saw me standing there at the barre. I even thought of stealing Isa's favorite barre spot just to piss her off, I wondered if she would have the guts to ask me to move, would she even be there, had she moved to SAB?
I fell into a restless sleep, the kind were you drift in and out of unconsciousness.
I thought of school, I thought of all the stupid things I had said that day, of all the insignificant moments of self-degradation no one but me seemed to notice.
I remembered the welcoming stabs in my chest every time I saw them together. Touching, smiling, murmuring, loving. I thought of how amusing it was to play the aloof friend. I criticized myself for enjoying such torture.
I liked seeing them together, as masochistic as it sounds. I liked feeling jealous and wanting to rip her head off and smirking behind my hand as her so called friends talked about her behind her back. It gave me a sense of normalcy, for once, to have such childish emotions.
It was as though Bella had stolen something from me, she had ripped the crayons from my hand and refused to give them back. I was forced to sit and watch her color while I pouted in a corner.
Really, I mean… the way he looked at her was enough to make me sick. They were so damn aloof, as though they had no idea there were actually people around them. It irritated me, like a spoiled brat who needed constant attention, it irritated me.
I kept my mouth shut, though I'm sure it was no help the way my mind screamed. Anyway, he never said anything, he let me rant, he knew I was making some effort. After all, I hadn't vocally trashed his girlfriend since I got here, much to my dismay. I really deserved a reward for this.
I vaguely felt his hand wrap around my own as my senses temporarily came back to me. In a few rare moments, I distinctively heard the melodious voice of Dean Martin in the background, Edward quietly mumbling along with the words, before it all went to black again.
"Lia…" I felt a cold hand lightly shake me, "Lia, time to get up…" soothing and cool and comforting.
I fluttered my eyes lazily, my lids too tired to open more than halfway.
Edward POV
Watching Lia dance was like nothing I had ever seen before. It felt as though I were watching another side of her.
I sat patiently outside the massive glass-walled studio, seeing Lia put down her water bottle in a place by the barre she had grabbed herself and situated smack in the middle of the front mirror. The other students watched her in shock.
She paid them no attention as she lifted her right leg on to the bar, rotating her hips experimentally before finding a comfortable position. I couldn't help but stare as she stretched and flexed her foot, the arch on it so high that it almost curved around the barre. She bent her standing leg a little before stretching it out, taking her hand off of her hip and bringing it up in a graceful manner, as she bent her body in half, her torso lying right on top of her leg. She held it there for a while, laying her body lazily on it while looking straight at the mirror.
Just look at your stomach, look at your standing leg, the top of it looks like a mushroom.
I sighed dejectedly, the Lia I had met was slowly but surely coming back. She had left, if only for a brief moment, but the voices escalated more and more each day.
She rotated her hips again, along with her upper body as her legs stayed turned out, in that same position. My vampire senses allowed me to hear her hips working, rotating and straining to keep her legs turned out. I could her one of her tendons popping as it adjusted itself. Truth be told, it sounded very painful.
She reached sideways in a similar fashion as she met the sides of her torso with her leg, closing her eyes as her hamstrings stretched.
She adjusted her leg a tiny bit before wrapping the arm above her head around the leg on the bar and bringing it up.
She looked towards the mirror again, both of her legs drawing a vertical line, not in front of her, her hips were down, and her knee was currently close to touching her shoulder blade. How did she do that?
Lia frowned as she tried to push her leg farther into her shoulder blade with her wrapped arm, rotating and pushing her hips farther down. Not enough turnout, two months. This is what happens in two months.
Her frown increased as she somehow brought her leg forward, still to the side, she pushed it into her shoulder blade as her hips lifted. Setting them back in place, she once again rotated her hips and legs so that now it had moved to the front of her nose rather than to her side. Dissatisfied, she continued to frown. She fidgeted with her leg as she attempted to hoist it closer to her nose.
She closed her eyes again, once she had it as close as she could go, she slowly unwrapped her hand. Her leg lowered slightly, but still kept it's spot by her nose.
I was sort of amazed, to be honest. It was different to see something as beautifully extended when you actually knew the dancer who was executing it.
You used to have it higher, it used to never lower. What's wrong with you?
I turned my attention to the other dancers in the room. Some were still staring at Lia, their minds still wondering how she had managed to come back.
Others were talking amongst themselves, mainly of the girl who had managed to get back in. And only two other girls were completely ignoring the chaos around them, stretching as diligently as Lia was.
All of the dancers however, quickly focused on the class at hand once the instructor walked in.
He held an air of superiority and complete authority over the students. No one dared to speak a word once he formally started the class.
It was interesting, watching a modern scene of what looked like a painting by Degas. I spent 90 percent of my time watching Lia, the other 10 percent was divided between briefly watching the other dancers, hearing the comments Mr. Boal thought of in his head, and critiquing the piano accompanist.
I noticed how each dancer had different quirks and strengths. I noticed that Lia used her neck, back, head, and arms a lot more than all of the other dancers.
It made her look lovely, the way she would arch her upper back, close her eyes, and follow her arm movements with her head.
That was another thing too, she would either stare at her arms and hands as though they were the most beautiful thing in the world, or close her eyes, the pleasant smile in her face still in place.
That smile, the loving look. It was completely fake, astoundingly so. It looked as though she were acting. In her head, she would scream at herself any time she even as much as quivered.
Push your ribs in, you didn't stretch your foot out enough, what's wrong with your elbows? Point them out! Your fingers got too stiff, stop letting go of your stomach! You didn't hold that extension as long as you should have had. Keep your standing leg still for god's sake! Stop quivering on your developpes!
She beat herself up after every combination, after every transition, after every move. I could see the frustration behind that content look on her face.
Her skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, much like the other dancers. I could hear everything. The short gasps of breath, the creaking of her pointe shoes, the strain of her muscles.
I could see how she mentally kicked herself whenever Mr. Boal would come around and push her ribs in.
"Concentrate Lia, stop looking in the mirror, that's my job."
And when he told her that she was clinching her shoulders in the back, she just about lost it. She spent the rest of the transition time between combinations working on her back, making sure she wasn't squishing her shoulder blades together, and turning to the side, pushing her ribs in manually.
It was the sole thought in her mind as she did every combination.
By the end of the first class, she was emotionally and physically exhausted. It astounded me; the type of pain she endured in her quest for perfection. I didn't expect her to put as much effort and criticism as she had, it was her first day back, after all.
Lia Pov
After the ending of my pointe class, which was a total disaster, by the way, Mr. Boal called me over.
I saw Edward nod at the corner of my eye as he patiently sat, waiting for me.
"Could you stay behind for just a moment Lia?" He asked as I was carefully taking off my Russian Pointes, looking at the damage it had done to my precious pinky toe; it was now red and raw.
"Yes, of course," I replied, nodding vehemently to show my understanding. He was going to notch me down a couple of levels, I knew it. I had done horribly today, easily being one of the worst in the class.
I was dreading the way he was waiting by the piano, talking quietly to our accompanist.
After putting on my booties I hesitantly walked towards Mr. Boal, waiting respectively for him to finish his conversation.
He turned to look at me then as the accompanist grabbed her stuff and exited the studio, giving me a slight nod as I curtsied politely and thanked her once more for her music.
Mr. Boal, naturally, wasted no time in getting to the point.
"I'd like you to take a few private lessons with , I feel as though you'll progress a lot quicker this way. You've lost quite a bit of time."
I nodded my head, understanding what he meant.
You suck Lia.
I started remembering the movie Superstar, when the priest was all "You're special Mary, in fact, you are so special that we are putting you in special ed." Yeah, that's how I felt.
"I think that with these extra classes, you may be able to move to level VIII in a month's time, and, possibly, have a very rewarding experience at this year's student workshop."
I stood there, shell shocked.
16-year olds NEVER got into Level VIII, at least not in my generation. Technically, my seventeenth birthday would follow less than a month after, but still. Getting into that level was very, very difficult, only two or three girls from Level VI made it after the year. Being in Level VIII meant that PNB was interested, very, very interested in offering you an apprenticeship.
I could feel my head nodding as my heart soared. I bit my lip to keep the grin threatening to spread at bay.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this, I mean with all the corrections I got, I'm sure I did horrible…" I rambled,
"Lia, haven't you come to understand that you want the corrections? Many people would pay a good deal of money for them in this school."
I could only nod attentively, because corrections, although yearned, still meant you were doing something wrong.
"Two days a week will be fine, Tuesdays and Fridays, how does that sound?" He asked,
"That's fine, what time would these be at?" I inquired, hoping that they weren't before regular classes.
"6:30 on Tuesdays and 5:00 on Fridays, you'll have a half hour break in between."
"Alright, they'll be an hour and a half long?" I asked.
"Yes, yes of course, a full ballet class, both on pointe." He affirmed.
"Ok, I'll make sure to be there tomorrow, thank you so much," I said breathlessly, I was too excited to talk normally.
"Your welcome." He walked hurriedly out of the studio, "oh… and Lia?" He turned around briefly.
"Yes?" I said attentively.
"Nice job in class today." With that, he exited.
My heart was threatening to leap out of it's chest as I basked in the glow of accomplishment.
I half skipped, half walked towards Edward as he wrapped me in his arms.
"Can you believe it Edward? Level eight! I never would've imagined…" I trailed off, remembering myself in class, "Ugh, but I did so horribly Edward, what could he have possibly seen?"
He hushed me before I answered my own question.
"You were not horrible, so stop saying that. And to answer your question, he was remembering your progress and work ethic from before you left the school. He had been planning to move you up during January, that is, until you left. He still wanted to, he just knew you needed an extra push to raise you to the level you were two months ago. Which, from what both he and I saw, shouldn't take too long."
I hugged him tighter, feeling more euphoric than I had in weeks.
"Thanks so much Edward," I muffled, my head buried in his shirt.
He chuckled, clearly amused, "For what?" His eyes danced with mirth as he lifted my head to his level.
I shrugged, not really knowing why I was thanking him.
"For everything," I finally decided, throwing my head back in laughter.
"For being one of the best things that ever happened to me." I concluded.
Edward POV
"What do you want to do when you're older?" I asked on the drive home.
"What do you mean?" Lia replied, shuffling through the songs on the radio.
"I mean, what do you really want to do?"
She paused for a fraction of a second, finally settling on Tom Waits.
"I always thought I'd dance in Paris. I mean, if I could dance anywhere, it would be there. I guess my dream would be to join the Paris Opera Ballet, but that's just unrealistic."
"Why is that?" I asked, not fully understanding, it was evident she had the talent.
"Because you can't hired by the company unless you trained at their school… l'Ecole de Danse de l'Opera de Paris" She murmured, ending in a French accent.
I felt a brief stab of pain at the mere thought of her so far away.
"Of course, it's literally impossible to get in if you aren't a French citizen, especially if your American."
"Of course, you aren't just an American."
She contemplated this, thinking it over, before laughing.
She shook her head, "You need to learn more about the politics of ballet, trust me, the POB school is impossible. Thus, the dream is impossible."
I shook my head back at her, "You're very optimistic, did you know that?" I added.
She only smiled back, a little uneasily.
"So what do you think you're going to do then?" I revised,
"Well," she sighed, "I'll graduate from PNBS, but I don't really want to dance in their company, I don't even think they'll take me."
"Why?" I yelled incredulously, Mr. Boal loved her!
"Too short for their company, Mr. Boal will probably send me off to an audition at the San Francisco or New York City Ballet. And with his recommendations and my training, I'll get hired, most likely, but I don't think I want to dance for neither of those."
"Why?" Was my intelligent response. I couldn't quite figure out what she was trying to say.
"Because, although I love their classical repertoire, they have too much contemporary for my taste. So then, I was thinking, why not audition for the National Ballet of Canada? They're as classical as they get, but I don't think I'd like to live in Toronto." She scrunched up her face.
"So where do you want to dance?" I asked again.
"I already told you, the Paris Opera Ballet."
"But you just said that was impossible."
"I know, sucks doesn't it?"
Bella POV
"If you, if you could returnDon't let it burn, don't let it fade
I was angry that he left with her. How could I not be? How did that make any sense?
I was angry at myself for secretly looking forward to their leaving, looking forward to it because I was going to make things right with Jacob.
The guilt had been gnawing at me for weeks, ever since I left him. He had ran away, Edward hadn't cared.
He had ran away because of me, and I stood there and did nothing. He was suffering because of me, and I couldn't even see him and make things better.
Alice warned me this would cause nothing but trouble, that my visits would do nothing but cause more anguish. But how could I sit back, watching and doing nothing?
I had to go. Alice did not understand, but she didn't intervene either.
"This is your choice." She had left me with a wary look on her face.
So I left. I got into my truck and drove to La Push because I couldn't stand the pain I left him in, the pain I could feel somewhere in the corners of my heart.
Nothing was clear at this point. Somewhere the lines had blurred between my misery and happiness.
I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't have a clue.
Marriage? Did I truly want that? Was my aversion simply because I cared too much to let my parents down? Or did it stem from my genuine unhappiness?
My love for Edward was real. And I had come to the conclusion that so was my love for Jacob. I could not deny my own feelings.
But I didn't know which feelings were stronger anymore. Being so caught up in sacrificing my emotions for the benefit of others had left me with nothing.
My heart went into panic as I realized this. I did not know what I wanted.
I reached La Push and stayed in my truck, terrified of driving up that familiar street and into the arms of the man who had chosen me for a soul mate.
Edward POV
"Do you think we would've been friends if I had been born in 1901?" Lia asked in a playful tone.
I thought over her question, wondering how she would take my answer.
"Truthfully? No. Unless, by some amazing chance, I would've decided to look past your apparent shallowness and talked to you, by which I think we would've become great friends, then…no."
She crossed her arms,
"And why not? I think we would've been great friends!" She said indignantly.
"Because you remind me too much of Rosalie, and, as you know, I never gave her much of a chance. Although she did deserve it, I was too arrogant, I suppose."
"Was?" She snorted.
"Pot calling the kettle black? I retorted, hiding a smile.
"I am not arrogant!" She playfully pushed my shoulder, with both hands, I didn't budge.
My smile was in full view now.
"Not fair, stupid vampire." she muttered, dismayed at her lack of strength.
My phone rang then, the familiar tune letting me know it was a call from Alice.
"What is it?" I answered.
"I just though I should let you know, she went to see Jacob today." Alice said in a clipped tone.
"We'll continue this later." I replied, shutting the small silver cell phone rapidly.
"Why didn't you stop her?" Edward yelled at Alice's small frame.
"What was I supposed to do? It was her choice Edward!" The petite girl crossed her arms firmly.
"He could've hurt her!"
"How could you be so ignorant? If he hadn't hurt her the seven months you were out of her life, what makes you think he would do so now?" She retorted.
"He's angry at her Alice, why wouldn't he?" Edward responded, throwing his hands in the air.
"Don't you dare take out your anger on me Edward, I had nothing to do with this!"
"Of course you did Alice, of course you did! You let her go! You didn't even attempt to stop her! You fueled the fire Alice!"
Alice stepped dangerously close to his face, her eyes seething all the frustration she felt.
"You think I did this to her?"
"You didn't stop her." Edward repeated, his hands clenched at his sides.
"I'm tired of playing this game Edward, I'm not her mother and neither are you, and if she wants to tangle herself in another mess, I won't stop her, not anymore." And I won't stop you either, I've seen your future Edward, and I'd think you would not be bold enough to foolishly believe it's stayed the same.
And with that, Alice turned on her heel, leaving Edward speechless.
Meanwhile, a girl starved, and another cried herself to sleep.
I would love to know if you think Edward's reaction was justified, is he overreacting as usual?