"Hi."

"Hi."

It was the first words they had spoken to each other in days and they stood there silently, letting them hang in the air for just a moment, as if everything was fine again.

"Can I come in?"

Austin stepped aside and let her in, closing the door behind her.

"I know you don't want me here," Lindsay started, wringing her hands. "And I don't blame you for that. But I'm tired of being without you and I'm tired of being stubborn and I'm tired of being hurt and I need you to know that I'm sorry. Maybe that's selfish and there were a lot of "I's" in that but I really am sorry. I never meant those things and I never thought those things and they came out because… everything is just really messed up right now and I took it out on you. I know I can never make that up to you, and I don't expect you to ever want to forgive me and frankly I don't know if I even want you to because I don't deserve that at all, but I need you to know that none of it was true. Those things I said about you, they aren't true at all. You're not like that. And maybe you don't trust me enough to believe that, but I hope that you do. Because Austin you don't deserve to hurt like this. You don't. And I wish I could take it all back and erase it but I can't. And I'm sorry I can't. I'm sorry I failed you."

Austin's expression hadn't changed the entire time, and Lindsay's stomach sunk at the fact that her pessimism over the whole thing might be correct.

"I hear you," she said finally, quickly before betraying her defensive stance.

"I know you may never want to speak to me again, and I completely respect that, but I have to beg you to please, please not take this out on Colton. He loves you and he misses you and he's been asking for you," she explained, her voice hitching as she thought of his sorrowful eyes staring up at her and asking where "Au'tin" was. "Please don't punish him for something I did. Don't cut him off from you. Please."

Lindsay had never so blatantly begged for anything in her life, and Austin knew that and it struck her to the core. She could have begged for forgiveness or understanding, but instead she was begging for her son's happiness. She didn't care about herself when it came down to it. She just wanted her son to be alright. And it wasn't as if she was begging for something life changing. She just wanted Austin to be there as she always had been. No matter what went on between the two of them, it wasn't that huge of a request. It wasn't like she didn't miss Colton too.

"I won't. I promise."

Lindsay nodded and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and heading for the door, the tears about half a second away from falling. She was shaking with the adrenaline of baring her soul even that much, and she had to get away before everything spewed out.

"Linds," Austin started, grabbing her wrist tightly, her own eyes desperately holding onto tears. "It needs time."

"You don't have to."

"I… just be patient with me."

"Okay."

They looked at each other for a moment before pulling away, Lindsay heading for the door and Austin sinking back into the couch, both of them shedding silent tears that they would loathe for the other to see.

"Hi."

"Hi."

It had been days since the last similar exchange and that wasn't lost on either of them as Lindsay stepped aside to let Austin in.

"Where's Colton?"

"Taking a nap. Where are the girls?"

"Danny doesn't go in until tonight."

Lindsay nodded and sat down in the corner of the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest as Austin paced a few steps in either direction, looking more lost and bewildered with the passing of every second. Lindsay wanted to stop her, tell her to breathe and calm down, reassure her that it was okay, but she couldn't do that anymore. That wasn't her job or her right. So instead she sat, giving off the most gentle peace she could muster, hoping it would help.

"I don't really know what to say," Austin began on a long sigh. "I really want to just get this part over with and move on because it would be easier, but I know that it wouldn't be fair to either of us to skip it."

Lindsay took a deep breath, bracing herself for what she was sure was coming, the words that she'd been waiting for, the words that said she was a burden and caring about her had finally taken its toll and she wasn't worth it anymore. She'd hoped and prayed that she wouldn't hear them, but she knew she deserved them, knew she'd done everything to ensure them. Her ears tingled and her breathing became faster while she waited, almost as if her entire body knew what was about to happen.

"I'm sorry I don't listen. It took me a while to admit to myself that you were right about that. I don't listen and I don't know why really, I guess I just don't like to hear the bad stuff. And I know that for you that translates into me not caring but I swear to you Lindsay, I do care. I really do. So much that it hurts me when you hurt and maybe that's why I seem aloof or like I'm not listening. I don't know. But I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I love you, I really, really do. And I care about you and you're my best friend and I promise, I promise I'll do better. I won't let you think that again, I swear. Please give me a chance to prove it to you. Don't put your walls up and lock me out."

She sat down on the coffee table, her eyes round and wet, pleading the best way she knew how, putting herself so far out of her comfort zone that her heart was pounding in fear.

Lindsay was completely shocked, having been convinced that it was all over. But it was just the opposite and her mind was having a hard time catching up. She closed her eyes tightly and took a breath, feeling it foreign to be in this position. She was usually on the opposite side desperately wanting to not be left behind and it was hard to not go back to that place. Her throat tightened and ran dry and she gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

"You're never locked out," she whispered finally.

"Then look me in the eye, Lindsay and stop taking all the blame. Stop feeling like you're a curse and this whole thing is your fault. It's not. It was both of us. Blame me too."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because every time I try I hear the horrible things I said to you. And I see the look on your face and I hate myself even more and if I let part of it be your fault then… then…"

"Then what? You don't get to be the one that fixes it all?"

"Get to be? Do you think I like doing that?"

"No, but I think it makes you feel safe. I think you take all the blame so everyone feels better about themselves so they won't leave. And I think you've done it for so long that you believe it. I think that you truly believe that there's something wrong with you. But there's not, Linds. It's not your fault. Not all of it. None of this would have happened this way if I had tried just a little harder in the first place, when I first started worrying about you. And even before that too. If I was more open and if you could have trusted me, this never would have happened. And I'm sorry for that. I really am. And I need you to forgive me because I don't think anyone has ever truly asked you for that. Can you do that? Please?"

"Yes."

"There's a lot we need to talk about," Lindsay said carefully, twisting Isa's hair around her finger. They had decided it was finally time to get the kids together, and there had been an enormous amount of squealing from both children upon seeing each other. It had been just what they needed to realign their friendship, but once the kids had fallen asleep on the couch, they realized that there was a lot more under the surface.

"I know," Austin agreed, readjusting Colton in her arms and kissing his head. "I think we both have a lot we've never said."

"There's stuff I want to tell you but it's just… things like that don't come up in conversation, you know?"

"Yeah. I suppose the little that we both know is what we've relied on, but I know I haven't told you everything."

"I haven't told you either. And I think that this whole thing never would have happened if we had already known these things. Or at least it wouldn't be so bad."

"I hate this."

"I do too."

They were silent for a little while looking down at the kids and both realizing again how far this whole thing had rippled.

"Aust?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really, really sorry for what I said. I feel like I know how it hurt, but I also know that it's deeper than I thought. And I'm sorry for that and I wish I had never said it because it's not true," she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I know it's going to be hard for you to trust me again. And what I said wasn't true and I hate that I said it and you had to hear it and it hurt you the way it did. And there are very few things I would change in my life, but that is one of them."

"Lindsay, you don't have to change it. Yes, it hurt and yeah, I was really mad at you for a long time, but it made me see that I wasn't like that. I always knew that, but in the back of my head I worried about it. And now I trust myself more. I know I'm not like that, I know I won't ever run away. Not from you, not from Danny, not from anything. I know that and I don't ever have to worry about it again. It was hard but it was worth it. I just wish that you had been there."

"I was always there, Austin. No matter how awful it was, I was always there if you needed me. I just didn't push because I didn't want you to push the other direction. Maybe I should have done that differently, I should have gone after you or something, but that was the only way I could think to do it. I just was so afraid of screwing up and losing you."

"You're not going to. Ever. No matter what kind of fight we have, I'm always going to be here."

"I know that. I guess I just didn't want you to ever have to make that decision. There shouldn't be any bad in your life ever again and I ruined that. I'm supposed to be your best friend and I hurt you so bad and I feel like I failed you."

"You didn't fail me, Lindsay. We both made mistakes. They're over now."

"Part of the problem was me not being honest with you, right?"

"I think that was a lot of it."

"Then I need to tell you something."

She took a deep breath, fighting off tears and sinking deeper into the couch.

"You can tell me Lindsay."

"I'm really mad at you still," she said after a deep breath.

"There's probably a lot of reasons why," Austin said with a sigh. "But why specifically?"

"You said that I can't love people."

"I did?"

"Yeah. And that really hurts. Because I kind of believe it. And I know that maybe I shouldn't, but there's a part of me that does believe it because you're right. I don't love people enough."

"That's not true. Linds, I don't know why I said that. It's the exact opposite of how you are. You love people so much and so deeply that sometimes you forget about yourself. And I am so, so sorry I said that. It was wrong."

"I don't want to be mad at you anymore. I'm so tired of it. I didn't even let myself get mad about it until a few days ago and I just want it to go away."

"Can you forgive me for that?"

Lindsay nodded vigorously before wiping her tears away.

"It's all done."

"We've still got a lot of talking to do," Austin sighed, wiping the tear that had fallen down her cheek.

"And neither of us want to."

"We're tough."

"Yeah we are."

"Linds, no matter what, you've got me. Have I got you?"

"Always."