A/N: It's been close to a month, and I have very good excuses. AP Exams, Finals, SAT Prep, Rehearsals for In Studio Concert, final grades and trying to raise my D+ in AP English. Yeah, I know, procrastination is not my friend. Another thing is that I lied about this chapter, it was supposed to be very happy, and basically the point of no return for Lia and Edward. I wrote it, I hated it. I didn't feel as though it gave off what I needed it to. So I redid it, and skipped over the important day. Why did I do this? So when I do write it, which will be very, very soon, it will hold a lot more meaning. Maybe it's because I can no longer write something without lacing it with drama. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that the chapter will be more important if you already know it's geared towards doom and gloom. My characters, and SM's grow more and more annoying by the hour. Bare with me.

Disclaimer: If you recognize the name, I do not own it. And me, being me, almost own nothing because I like using real life settings and people. PNB is a real school, a real company, and the Mr. Boal is the real life director. As well as all the restaurants, treatment center, etc.. that I have used. They are all real places in Washington. So don't sue me. please?

"Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll chose to ignore."

-Lia POV-

PNBS 2010 STUDENT WORKSHOP CAST LIST

Excerpts from Swan Lake, Act 2:

Entrance of The Swans: Level VII-VIII

Swan Lake Pas De Deux:

Odette- Anna Gustavvson

Prince Siec Fried: Robert Corella

Little Swans Pas de Quatre:

Isabel Smith

Lillianne DuPont

Jordan Herzog

Carissa Ramos

Dance of the Large Swans:

Svetlana Voznick

Gabriella Dicker

Victoria Jones

Alina Kent

Excerpts from Sleeping Beauty:

Rose Adagio:

Princess Aurora: Isabel Smith

Suitors: Steven Eagling, Eric Steifel, Angel Kiwitt,

Michael Couret, Damien Rose

Blue Bird Variations:

Blue Bird: Jackson Hurst

Princess: Jordan Herzog DuPont

Lilac Fairy Variation: Marianela Reyes

Excerpts from Romeo and Juliet:

Dance of The Knights:

Capulet Women: Level VIII

Capulet Men: Adv. Men

Juliet: Lillianne DuPont

Paris: Eric Steifel

Balcony Pas de Deux:

Juliet: Lillianne DuPont

Romeo: Sebastian Bianchi

Juliet's Bedroom Pas de Deux:

Juliet: Lillianne DuPont

Romeo: Sebastian Bianchi

I wanted to sort of tear that paper with my bear hands. I didn't want stupid ass Juliet, I didn't want to be a stupid ass swan. I didn't even want to be a retard princess pretending to be a bird. What the fuck? The only reason they had given me that role was because I was short. The same thing with baby swans, because I was short. Who the hell knows why I got Juliet, but it was probably because Sebi was an amazing Romeo and him and I were always partners. I stood there, my stupid new pointe shoes digging into the backs of my heels as I angrily tried to pull the satin back up.

"Wow, you got a lot of parts, didn't you Lia?" Anna exclaimed.

And who the fuck cared? She had gotten the main role, Odette in Swan Lake, she had this amazingly perfect long, 5'8 body. If she wanted all my stupid short people roles than she should chop off her fucking legs.

"It's only because I'm short." I replied automatically.

She smiled fondly at me, "But you're like the baby of PNB Lia, it's ok."

No, no it wasn't. But I smiled at her anyway.

"Don't worry," she continued. "Being short helped you in this season's workshop, two solos Lia! And you have a lead too!"

Can I have your legs Anna?

I just nodded, walking away as my eyes filled with beautiful, sad, tears. Poor little rich girl, crying over having too much solos.

I angrily swiped them away, hating myself for letting my hormones take over. My fucked up, retard hormones. This had been the most horrible fucking week of my life.

Here is why:

1. Bella decides to wear that stupid engagement ring as a necklace.

2. Edward and her are acting like two stupid lovesick retards

3. I gained three pounds

4. I've been binging and purging every single night because I have no self control.

5. Edward and I are no longer "Friends."

This should have brought me happiness, this should have filled my pathetic little heart with joy. I could remember the first time I had ever danced the blue bird variation, when I was 6 years old. Had my tiny little heart known that one day I would be dancing it in the same stage of one of America's most prestigious companies, I would've started crying from happiness.

But these tears weren't joyful.

My phone rang then, and like a gift from above, the caller id notified me that this was exactly the person I needed to talk to.

"Congratulations Lily dear! Mr. Boal just called to tell me the news."

I burst into my pathetic tears again,

"They only gave me blue bird and baby swans because I'm short Aunty!" I hadn't realized I was almost hyperventilating. My chest was heaving, as my sobs continued to wrack over my body.

From my spot inside the empty dressing room, I could see the ménage of waif-like ballerinas either bouncing with joy or brooding in the corner.

"Oh dear, of course they gave you those roles because of your size! But if you weren't tiny and talented, they would've never gave you them in the first place! And Juliet as well, that's a lead! Goodness Lily!"

"They're just preparing me for the second-rate roles I'll get once I join a company, I'll be stuck as a soloist, I'll be too short to become a principal dancer. Why can't I have Anna's body aunty? She's so beautiful…. An, anddd… that's why ssshh… sshhhee, got Odette!

"Oh sweetie, stop crying, and stop this foolish blabbering you didn't just get two solos, you got a lead honey.."

"Baby swans isn't a solo, it's a quatre, with three other people." I interrupted.

"If this self-criticism keeps going on, I'm going to have to book a trip to Seattle and take care of this myself."

I just kept crying, missing the woman who had become a source of inspiration for me.

"I miss you aunty." I whispered as I held the phone closer to my ear. She paused for a bit, whispering to someone in the background.

"Well then, it's settled, you're coming to New York for your Spring break, and staying with me. You'll be able to take some classes at the School of American Ballet, where you should be in my opinion."

Aunt Rose had been an instructor for SAB for seven years, she was heart broken when she found I had rejected their acceptance to their summer course and went to PNB instead.

"I already have to go back to Santa Barbara to stay with my mom." I contradicted, wanting nothing more than to go to the city then potentially have to see all the people I wanted to forget about.

"Well, you have a two-week break don't you? You can come for the second half here, if you'd like."

"I'd like that a lot." I half-whimpered, as she bid me goodbye.

"Now honey, I need you to get up and snap out of this. You have rehearsal in thirty minutes and I don't want your mascara to look like a mess. Go and wash up, and I want no more of this self-pity. For goodness sake Lily! You don't even have an excuse, crying over receiving solos! I've never heard of such a thing."

"Gelsey did it all the time." I muttered, chuckling a little.

"That's because she was crazy, I know, I had to dance with her for ten years."

"Thanks Aunt Rose." I said, a genuine smile forming on my face.

"Call me anytime dear, I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too." I replied as I hung up the phone.

I lazily stood up from my spot on the corner, wiping away the remainder of my tears as I hurried over to my locker.

"I don't think…it" He struggled with his words, looking over my head, his eyes set in stone.

"What?" I snapped impatiently, and a little worried at the same time. I knew what was coming.

"I think you know what." He replied, still not staring at me.

"I'm sure I don't." I said uneasily, shifting my weight around as a horrible feeling settled deep inside my stomach.

"Please, don't make me say it out loud." He pleaded, staring at me for a fraction of a second before settling his eyes elsewhere.

I said nothing. Say it out loud, I thought.

"We can't be friends anymore, I don't think it's such a good idea." He replied, a little harsher than I expected.

I scoffed, "Friends?" that's a funny way to put it.

He visibly cringed as I turned to walk away, he instantly grabbed my upper arm.

I turned to look at him, a foolish look of hope in my eyes.

"Not just that, I…don't think we should talk anymore either."

I roughly released my arm from his grip, knowing that he had been the one to let go.

"So what? You kiss me and then three days later you tell me you never want to talk to me again?" He turned to look at me, coldly, unfriendly.

"That was a mistake, I'm sorry."

I wanted to slap him. I wanted to grab my dresser and have it crush his skull. But I knew both attempts would be useless. So I stood there, feeling powerless.

"I hate you." I replied, with all the anger I could muster, "I wish I would've never met you, never seen your damn face. Why did you even bother to talk to me in the first place, huh?"

"I…"

"Shut up!" I screamed, feeling the hysteria bubbling to the surface. "Don't you feel sorry for me Edward, don't you ever fucking dare to feel sorry for me! I don't need your pity, but that's all I've ever gotten from you isn't it. You want to feel sorry for me Edward? Well don't! I have more money than this whole fucking town put together, I'm the youngest dancer to ever get into the highest level at PNB, I have seen more things and experience more than you're pathetic little housewife, shit-brained fiancée ever has. I belong to the third most powerful family in America, who the fuck are you?"

My screaming and shouting wouldn't keep him, I knew that. But it was the only thing I could do. He gave me none of the satisfaction I would take if my words would've hurt him, he just shook his head.

"She lets you into your house, takes care of you. She puts a roof over your head, gives you a warm bed to sleep in." His face looked scary, "She gives you the food on your plate that you think so little of it as to throw it in the toilet every night, and this is how you repay her?"

I only laughed. "If you think this is some way to make me feel bad, then let me tell you, it isn't working. So stop bringing her into the conversation."

"Then let me tell you the truth Lillianne. You, with all your money and your glory, will never be as good as her. You can pretend all you want, but I will always know the truth. You will never be happy, you will never be able to love anything, and you will die as selfish, as spoiled, as bitter, and as black-hearted as you've been since the first day I've met you."

I shook my head, smiling as I did so, my tears falling silently. I only stayed quiet, knowing that if I dared to open my mouth, any sense of control I had would snap.

"I'm engaged to the most beautiful person in the world. I won't ruin that."

He didn't dare to turn his face to me, as he looked like he was already bored with this conversation.

My eyes flickered for a second as a sob ripped out of my body.

"So that's it then? Everything you ever told me. You lied." I replied, my voice wavering as his face blurred.

He paused for a while, I couldn't see him clearly anymore, my tears had gotten in the way.

"I said what I had to in order to fix you…It was foolish in my part, I thought it would help you. I'm sorry for leading this on more than it was ever supposed to."

"Leading me on?" I whispered, an earthquake rattling around me, shaking the furniture, opening up a hole, swallowing me under.

I gulped hard, tightening my fists, trying to stay above the surface.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me for a millisecond

before disappearing.

I stood for only a second as I let out a cry, falling to the ground.

Pull yourself together Lia. No need to take a waltz down memory lane. I had rehearsal in twenty minutes. Edward and Bella had taken a little date around Seattle, and they would be picking me up today.

It would've been easier to not be so angry if I didn't have to see his face all the time.

I took a deep breath, turning away from the mirror before I started going off about other things.

Quickly turning, leaving the dressing room, I headed towards the lounge, where I would be able to warm up before rehearsal started.

"Lia! Wait up!" I heard a male voice yell. I turned around, finding Sebi speed walking towards me.

"Boal wants to see us right now, I've been looking for you for hours!"

"Right now?" I questioned, cursing myself for hiding out so long

"Yes! Right now as in twenty minutes ago!"

"Crap."

Edward POV

I should have felt relieved. The pressure should have been lifted off my shoulders. I carried out my duty like the mature, responsible man I was raised to be.

This had not been the first time, surely, it would've been easier, less painful. But it wasn't. It was worse.

It wasn't worse because she had meant more to me or because I loved her more than my fiancée. It was worse because of what I had to say to her, of the added words. I hadn't expected it would go the way it did, yet a part of me knew, knew that she wouldn't be as easy to believe me as Bella. So I had to cut deeper, I had to erase any thought in her mind that I cared for her, loved her even.

She had more to live for, more to lose, had I continued. And at what risks? I would lose the love of my life for someone who had too much to live for. I would throw away all responsibilities and plans for something that had too great a risk. Bella loved me, as I loved her, why would I risk that?

This was the mantra I kept repeating in order to keep me sane, to keep me from running back and begging for forgiveness. Apologizing on hands and knees for all the horrible things I had said. Yet again, I hurt the one I loved in order to protect her. Or protect me.

"….has been planning the reception already." Bella groaned as I shook out of my dangerous thought process.

Alice. I thought, filling in the blanks, thankful for the vampiric tab that somehow heard what she had been saying.

"Let her have her fun" I smiled, picturing my sister in her mode, getting used to the tone Bella took on anytime the word wedding was mentioned.

"She's scary when she's having fun." Bella muttered as I chuckled. In four months, me and Bella would be married, married. It was almost surreal.

"I believe it's time for humans to eat," I added, changing the topic.

"I'm not hungry," Bella lied. I cringed. I heard her stomach grumbling, refusing to think of someone else.

"Bella…" I started,

"I mean, you know how I hate eating in front of you."

I chuckled again, her tendency to put my needs in front of hers often got in the way of certain things.

"How about we go to an Italian restaurant? Like the first time we went out together? Would you like that love?"

She narrowed her eyes, wondering if I was tricking her into doing something.

"Alright then, but I'm getting the cheapest thing on the menu, and paying tip."

I laughed once more, so different. They were so different.

"If you believe that's necessary."

She narrowed her eyes even more, I wished more than anything that I could read her mind.

"Is there something wrong?" I questioned, driving a little slower for her sake.

"You didn't try to change my mind," she answered.

"And why would I do that, it's your choice, although I'd feel much more comfortable if you let me pay for the entire meal, including the tip."

She shook her head, "That, Edward, is not an option."

Lia POV

"Lia, are you paying attention?"

I quickly snapped my head towards Mr. Boal, shit.

And why the fuck was I cussing so much all of a sudden?

I nodded my head as he continued,

"We are returning to the Classics for this workshop, in case you were wondering why there aren't any works by Balanchine or Robbins…"

A rare thing indeed, but somehow, my mind was too far gone.

I had been thinking of love for the past two days, and more so, on true love.

Here were my thoughts on this subject:

It was a word I had begun to hate. True love. What did that even mean? Did it mean that any other love before that was fake? Was that what love was? A whole mess of fakeness until someone waltzed in and all of a sudden their love is true? How can anyone generalize love that way? There could be first loves, last loves, fifth loves, soul mates even, but true love? That was just depressing. How could anyone ever even try to explain what love was? How could you differentiate true from fake, and then assume that only one love would ever be true? To me, that was the most ignorant, cruel, cold, and stupid thing anyone could ever conclude.

"If you have noticed, all of the lead's have been partnered according to the pairings I directed during the beginning of the semester in the advanced Pas de Deux class. This has been done for a reason, as it's my belief that each and every lead has a magnificent partner according to their dancing. Our top pas de deux students, Sebastian and Lia…" cue applause as I cursed again for zoning out. "will be dancing three excerpts from Romeo and Juliet, I congratulate the both of you, as well as wish you luck on the technical challenges you will face upon doing one of the hardest pas de deux excerpts ever choreographed." Cue, another applause. People really needed to stop doing that.

Sebi smiled at me as we looked at each other, knowing we were most likely screwed.

"Anna and Robert, will be performing the greatest of all classical masterpieces, due to both of their extraordinary level of technique. Congratulations to the both of you…" blah, blah, blah.

Anna could go jump of a cliff and die. That way, I could chop off her legs and glue them on to mine. She was the perfect ballerina with the perfect role. I bet you she couldn't even hold her head up it was so big, dancing Odette in Swan Lake.

I brought my knees to my chest, laying my head on them. I was so tired. I was so tired all the time. The whole, stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking wasn't making me skinny, it was making me cry.

I let out a sigh, feeling a sense of desperation bubble to the surface.

"Hey, are you ok?" Sebi asked, looking over me worriedly. He was always such a gentleman, his father, Roberto Bianchi, was a principal dancer for the American Ballet Theatre. Haling from Italy, he settled down in New York with his only son, which consequently decided to train at Pacific Northwest. They were both, very, very handsome. It was such that it made me nervous, or at least, it used to. During pas de deux, I was scared to slip and break his handsome little toes, or his handsome little fingers, or that one time, where I accidentally knocked my elbow straight into his precious, handsome face. Yes, it made me nervous. You felt a lot better when these accidents happened to someone who was ugly.

I nodded, "mhm, just tired." I replied, my head still between my knees.

He accepted my response as he turned his attention back to Mr. Boal.

I was 100 pounds. 100 pounds when a week ago I had been 97. This. This was not happening, this was almost worse than Edward.

I gripped my hands tighter, the stupidity, the shame. I was so angry. I almost wish I could go back to that day, maybe I would've said something that made sense, maybe I could've gone around to throwing my furniture at him. Regardless of the fact that he would in all probability not get hit.

"….you everyone, have a great weekend. Lia and Sebastian, rehearsal starts now."

I quickly lifted my head off my knees, staring down into a disapproving pair of eyes.

"Lia, come with me please. Sebastian, warm-up, we need to start working on the lifts for the balcony scene."

I stood up, too fast, I saw stars…

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20.…

Pace yourself Lia. He looked at me expectantly as I walked on shaky legs, following him out the studio.

As the glass door shut, leaving Sebi to see a fantastic episode of Lia-getting-in-trouble-again.

"May I ask why you have been out of focus as of late?" Mr. Boal turned on me, staring intently. I blanked out.

"I…"

"You need to get your head screwed back on your shoulders Ms. DuPont. I do not want to see this casting done as a mistake, I'm sure there are many talented dancers that would be delighted to take your spot."

"I'm sorry sir, I'm trying.."

"No, you are not Lillianne, you are not trying the way I know you can. If you expect me to hear your excuses willingly, then you are gravely mistaken."

"I'm sorry, I really am.. It's just that," It's just that you needed to shut up. Why was I even talking? I was digging myself into a bigger hole.

"Look Lia, if you want to be successful in this business, leave your personal problems at the door, I will waste no time in replacing you if you keep up with this recent work ethic."

He looked me up and down, I could see, feel. He was noticing.

"Do not lose anymore weight. I'm warning you. You look fine as you are now."

I nodded numbly, feeling the corners of my eyes beginning to moisten for the second time that day.

"Come in when you are ready to work properly, this past week has been unacceptable. Do not make me question my choices in casting anymore."

I nodded as he turned on his heel, leaving me in the hallway.

I felt the tears begin to fall as I cursed myself for getting so sloppy. Far off in the land of teenage angst, I had forgotten why I came here in the first place.

"Lia? Are you ok?" I heard a familiar voice ask me. Not feminine, but still sickly sweet.

I turned sharply around, staring at the two faces I came to despise the most.

"Yes" I spat, reaching towards my dance bag as I pulled out my worn pair of pointe shoes.

This is all your fault. I screamed at him. He stood emotionless.

I angrily wiped away my tears, "I thought you two were supposed to be on a date or something." I asked as I fiddled with the ribbons on my pointe shoes, trying desperately no to stare at his face.

"We… I mean, I just finished my lunch. We didn't know you were still practicing."

I hurriedly put my old pointe shoes away, deciding it would be better to just break these in, and took off my legwarmers, grabbing my practice tutu, before I realized I didn't need it for Juliet.

"Yeah, well Mr. Boal wants to see me and Sebi's lifts for the balcony scene." I tried not sound so hostile, jealousy was an ugly thing, after all.

"Oh…" she started looking around, not knowing what to say.

"You could both leave if you want, I'm going to be in here longer than whatever Mr. Boal planned."

"No, it's okay," Bella responded, sitting herself and Edward down. He looked straight ahead.

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play, I'd love to see you two rehearse it." She said, blushing a little.

She is not stupid, she is not annoying, she is not plain. She is my nice, dear, sweet, quaint older cousin, whom you must not be a bitch to.

I shrugged, hurriedly opening the door as Mr. Boal began to speak to Sebi.

"Suit yourself."

I tried to add a smile as Bella waved goodbye to me.

Throwing my tutu to the side, I wrapped a skirt around my waist as I walked over to the two men.

"Glad your joining us Lia, better late than never I suppose."

I kept my mouth shut, I didn't need to get into problems because of those two anymore. Especially him.

"So, Romeo and Juliet, as I was saying, will be performed to the music of Profokiev, as always. There is a slight change in the choreography, however, since this workshop is, after all, a revival of the classics, I believe that it is necessary to bring about a more classical choreography. Furthermore, we will not be using Peter Martin's choreography, as is the custom for the Pacific Northwest Ballet, and by extension, it's school.." He regarded me and Sebi as I trembled from excitement at what I was hearing, this could only mean on of two things, we were doing the original Lavronsky choreography, or the later Macmillan choreography. I was practically praying to whatever god above that we would do the latter.

"But it is the school's decision that we are doing the Royal Ballet version, premiered by Rudolf Nureyev and Margot Fonteyn,"

I whimpered with excitement

"with Macmillan's choreography."

"YES!" Sebi and I shouted simultaneously as we turned to hug each other. Almost every ballerina who had ever performed Romeo and Juliet had wished it would be to this choreography.

Mr. Boal smiled slightly at our excitement as he cleared his throat. Me and Sebi immediately sobered up, knowing that this was going to be a lot more challenging than we believed.

"Anyway, I believe that we should start rehearsing now."

Me and Sebi could only nod as the energy almost exulted from my body, completely forgetting what I was so angry about earlier.

"I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I'm pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak
So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you."

My dead heart clenched painfully as we walked towards the dance building, where all the school's studios were located. I had half the mind to tell Bella to wait for a while, at least until Mr. Boal was finished "talking" with Lia.

"Look Lia, if you want to be successful in this business, leave your personal problems at the door, I will waste no time in replacing you if you keep up with this recent work ethic."

He studied her then, looking at her bones.

"Do not lose anymore weight. I'm warning you. You look fine as you are now."

My heart clenched painfully as I heard her eyes begin to moisten.

"Come in when you are ready to work properly, this past week has been unacceptable. Do not make me question my choices in casting anymore."

I wanted to tell her it would be okay, I wanted to make her feel as though she wasn't alone in this. But I could do neither.

"Don't say anything Bella." I whispered, hoping she didn't instigate even more of Lia's psychotic hormones.

"Are you ok Lia?" Bella asked anyway.

Too late.

I mentally groaned as to what the possible outcome of this would be. But as always, Lia surprised me.

As usual, she carried with her usual tone, reserved when talking to Bella. But apart from that, she kept her temper. I sighed out loud as Bella and I took our seats, watching the two young teenagers.

I tried to keep myself from smiling too much at her happiness. It reminded me more and more that I had made the right decision. Not only for Bella and I, but for her as well.

Not that there had ever been a possibility… the mere thought of that seemed almost surreal, other worldly. It frightened me.

"How much do both of you know of the choreography?"

"I know it by heart," Lia immediately responded, sneaking a glance at my spot before berating herself

Oh great, he even knows you looked at him. Happy Edward? Happy you're getting some of my attention, well…go fuck yourself.

I tried not to cringe.

"I do too, well not as well as Lia most likely." Sebastian responded. I tried to hold down the frustration I felt. Mr. Boal was under the impression that him and Lia were fabulously paired.

"Well then, if both of you are confident in your abilities, would you mind running it once?"

The two looked nervously at each other, "The whole thing? Now?" Lia questioned in a timid voice.

"Just once, I'm not expecting the second coming of Fonteyn and Nureyev, I'd just like to see what we have before we start rehearsing."

They both looked at each other then, and why was I even feeling this way? They were only looking at each other

"Sure?" Sebastian questioned, Lia nodded in approval.

"Great," Mr. Boal responded as he grabbed a small raised stage and placed it on the corner of the studio.

"Your balcony Ms. Capulet…" he presented, opening his arms as Lia smiled, taking her place.

From our seats, Bella and I could hear the music begin, as Lia. looking absolutely lovely, walked on, a dazed, lovesick expression set in her features.

She raised her hand to the "moonlight", and flipped it over to place over her heart.

Mr. Boal just looked, his arms crossed as he studied the dancers.

The music continued to build as she sighed forlornly, resting her chin on her hands as she looked to the ground in content.

If I watcher her dance long enough, I could convince myself that this was the right thing to do. She couldn't fool herself, it was undeniable that Lia loved her art more than she would ever love anything or anyone.

I felt Bella's hand close tightly around mine as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"She's so pretty, isn't she?" She commented, just a small trace of longing tainting her tone. My throat constricted as her Romeo entered the scene, shielding himself as he watched her. She looked around in desperation as if she had heard a noise.

Suddenly, Sebastian showed himself as the two lovers looked at each other, never breaking eye contact.

Bella just continued to sigh.

Sebastian suddenly ran towards Lia's "balcony" and reached out his hand to her as she did the same, both striving to touch the other's hand.

Sometime after, Lia ran down from her stage as Sebastian reached for her hand. The two stared straight ahead at Mr. Boal. Suddenly Lia put her hand over her heart, smiling slightly as she hurriedly grabbed Romeo's hand and did the same, she sighed in bliss as she ran away from him, embarrassed. He stopped her from running any longer, as he began to dance for her.

Lia continued to look on with the same, blissful, lovesick expression, before running into his arms.

He twirled her around as the two danced together, the passion streaming from both of their faces.

Sebastian bent down on one knee and began to kiss Lia's skirt as, she, embarrassed, ran the other way.

He caught up with her as he lifted her again, the two continuing to dance together.

She danced around him as he lay on the floor, running away from him again. Juliet thought better of it as suddenly, as the turned around again and ran into his arms as he lifted her once more. As he put her down, he got closer to her as my throat constricted.

I knew he wouldn't kiss her, now, but the choreography was almost too passionate.

As he drew closer, Lia, looking scared, backed up as she, once more, danced away from her Romeo. He caught her again as he lifted her once more, Lia throwing her arms and head back in ecstasy.

I smiled to myself, she really was beautiful.

Lia ran opposite of Sebastian as he grabbed her hand and turned her around, the music slowed then. Sebastian looked to the corner of his eye, as Mr. Boal nodded.

He inched closer as Lia slowly brought her hand down, looking up in innocent wonder. Sebastian closed the gap between them as he hoisted her off her feet, making sure she didn't get away this time. Lia kept in character as her mind when into panic, she let out a nervous smile as Sebastian's mouth enveloped hers.

It was over much too late as Lia closed her eyes, bringing her hands to her lips once more as she ran away, the perfect picture of a young Juliet. She giggled slightly as she took the two steps to her "balcony", waiting until Sebastian ran up to the front of the stage, as they both reached for the other's hand in longing again, the music coming to an end.

Bella sighed near me again. "That was so romantic, I can't wait to see it on stage."

This had been one of the first few times Bella had actually admitted to enjoying something.

As the two dancers stepped out of their roles and walked towards Mr. Boal, they looked to each other nervously, waiting an answer.

I heard his thought process, as he marveled at their acting skills. Finally, he spoke.

"That was the sloppiest balcony pas de deux I have ever seen."

Sebastian and Lia could only stare, both shifting nervously.

"But, it's a hell of a lot better than I expected. Good run through, for your first time of course. It was dreadful though, I must say."

Lia let out a sigh of relief as her blood still tingled from the excitement.

"I like your portrayal of Romeo Sebastian. Very boyish, I'd like you to watch some videos by Rudolf Nureyev and Angela Corella, whom I think would really help you develop your character."

Sebastian nodded attentively, sitting down as he did so. Lia continued to stand up shifting from the tips of her pointe shoes, from one foot to the other.

"Lia, the same with you. You really grasp the innocence of Juliet, something very rare. In fact, you do it a lot better than most of my company dancers."

"That's because the version PNB does is slutty." Lia said as she immediately covered her mouth with her hands, widening her eyes.

Mr. Boal only chuckled, "While I admit that Martin's choreography is a lot more…provocative, I do believe that Macmillan's is not so innocent either, do you agree Lia?"

What do I say? Do I just tell him what I think? Whatever, here goes nothing.

"Well, I mean, it is, but it's supposed to be because their story isn't very innocent either. But I think that in Peter Martin's version, Juliet is portrayed much more as a woman, someone who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it. While, in Macmillan's, she is still very much a child, and that's why the story works the way it does. She has this innocence and they're both in this stupid, foolish state of love that they can't see past their mistakes, which ends in both their deaths, if she had really been more of a women, like PNB's version, then she would've most likely not made that mistake. To me, Martin's version doesn't make any sense, it strays from the original character of Juliet."

Lia looked to the floor, a little nervous at her judgment, luckily, Sebastian helped her out,

"Yeah, no offense Mr. Boal, but your balcony scene almost looks like porn, not raunchy of course. But…. I'll… shut up now."

Mr. Boal just looked at the two dancers. Sighing slightly, he put his hands on his head

"I will never ask of your opinion ever again, teenagers have too much opinions." He smiled slightly as he looked at the two.

"I can already see that I have picked damn near perfect partners. Lia. Fonteyn, watch her. Sebi, Nureyev, and Corella."

"Yes sir." Lia replied as Sebastian nodded.

"Is she almost done?" Bella asked, tapping her foot.

I chuckled, always impatient. "Yes, he's just giving them a pep talk love." I kissed her cheek, lingering slightly as her eyes fluttered closed.

"Rehearsals will be after corps and solo rehearsals, two hours, Monday through Friday. Don't rush to make Saturday plans either, I'll probably keep you after class as well."

Mr. Boal quickly picked up his sweater from the piano and walked out the studio, nodding to me and Bella as he did so.

I stayed outside the studio, rather than entering and talking to Lia as she took off her shoes and put on her regular clothing.

I almost got up as well, but Bella's hand on my shoulder restricted my movement.

"What would've happened if I would've stayed in my ballet lessons as a child?" Bella questioned, looking at Lia's form with the tiniest hint of wonder.

Her and Sebastian were discussing the scene, the lifts, what could work, what couldn't.

I shifted in my seat, not wanting to look at them any longer.

"I'm not sure love, maybe it would be you in there rather than Lia." I said, knowing it wasn't the truth.

She scoffed, "I don't think so, I would've never been as good as her."

I chuckled as I enveloped her hand with my own, overwhelmed by freesias. "Maybe not love, I'm not sure if you're tendency to trip would get you very far." I said, as she buried herself closer to me. My mouth began to water.

She seemed a little hurt, as she stayed quiet for a second.

"Do you think she's more beautiful than me?" she asked in a whisper, shifting uncomfortably beside me.

"Never," I whispered fiercely, holding her closer to me. "It doesn't matter to me how graceful you are, you are the most beautiful human being I have ever had the fortune to see. No one could ever come nearer to my heart than you, please love, don't question for a second how much I adore you."

"If I was turned, I'd be more graceful than her." She muttered, crossing her arms across her chest.

I ran a hand through my hair as we both continued to look at Lia. Her sweatpants too baggy, tiny strands of coffee colored hair draping the back of her neck and the front of her face, her doll-like eyelashes blinking rapidly as she hugged Sebastian goodbye.

"Yes, you would be." I finally replied.

"I'd be more beautiful, stronger." She added, as she seemed to believe I was weakening in my resolve.

"Yes, that too." I continued.

Lia finally made her way out the studio, staring at Bella and I for a fraction of a second before she grabbed her practice tutu and dance bag, shouldering it on.

"So why don't you do it?" Bella replied softly, leaning in ever closer.

"Why are you so adamant about marrying me?" I replied in a hushed tone. Lia, off in the corner was looking anywhere but at us.

"I have already agreed…" she began, scrunching her eyebrows together

"Yes, agreed, but not willingly." I responded as I quickly stood up.

"Are you ready?" I asked in a clipped tone. Lia suddenly turned to me, coldness enveloping her features.

"I was only waiting for you two." She replied, walking past us to my car.

Lia POV

I was starving I was starving I was starving I was starving I was starving. Whose idea was it to get Starbucks, I have no fucking clue. But I think it was me.

Bella was somehow some coffee phobic or whatever but she ended up getting hot chocolate. Hot fucking chocolate, how completely predictable. I don't even think she put marshmallows in there, yeah… I know.

I was standing here, absolutely terrified. I needed to maintain, I didn't want to maintain. I wanted a 90 on the scale and Mr. Boal said no. Mr. Boal said I looked good at 100 and if I dared drop a single pound it would be goodbye to Juliet. Anna would take my spot, either her or Isabel.

What I had had this morning: Nothing.

What I had for lunch: Nothing

What I was having now:

Fill in the blanks fill in the blanks fill in the blanks. I had to stop this, I knew. I had to maintain, I knew. I had to eat, I didn't know how.

I tapped my fingers restlessly, afraid to binge again. If I had a snack, I would most likely go to Forks and eat half of Bella's refrigerator for the fifth time this week. I didn't know how to eat. I didn't know anything between all or nothing.

"Anytime soon?" Edward asked as he wrapped his arm around Bella. The poor thing couldn't stand straight on her own.

I shot him the cruelest stare I could manage before I decided on my order.

"Can I have a nonfat Misto? No whip, sugar free, tall." (66)

"Sure, anything else?" The overly perky barista asked,

"umm…" just get something! I needed to, I knew I did.

"Can I get an oatmeal? With water, and can you please not give me any of the sides?" I asked as kindly as possible.

She nodded in approval as the three of us made our way to a seat. Before I knew it, my order was ready.

Edward picked it up and set it down in front of me, making his way next to Bella as she carefully sipped her hot chocolate.

They started mumbling to each other, completely forgetting my existence, of course. Their heads were bent together as Edward supported Bella's weight, as if she couldn't even sit on her fucking own.

I picked up my coffee with trembling hands and took as tiny a sip as possible. The warmth slid down my throat and dropped unto my empty stomach. . But like a good little girl I set the coffee down.

I rested my head on my hands as I sank back on the chair. Awkward wasn't the correct word to put for this little tête-à-tête.

Bella never talked, Edward hated my guts, and I was afraid to touch anything edible.

I closed my eyes briefly. It was a fucking coffee, why the hell was I afraid to drink it? It was just oatmeal, with water (150) with nothing else, if I ate both, I would've had 216 calories today. That was nowhere near bad. Why was I worrying? I could stop myself tonight, I could lock up the pantry and the refrigerator door myself. No need to have a heart attack.

"You should start on your oatmeal before it gets cold Lia" Bella responded, in that sweet voice of hers.

"It's too hot right now, and so is the coffee." It's too hot, it's too cold, it's too much, it's not enough.

Bella continued to stare as Edward played with the ends of her hair. My teeth clenched as goosebumps suddenly erupted onto my skin.

"Are you cold? Maybe you should drink the coffee, it'll warm you right up, since it's so hot." Bella soothed, leaning back unto Edward as I began to shiver.

This entire state was freezing, and I was getting sick of it.

I took a slow sip as she nodded in approval. That got her to shut up.

But no. She opened up the oatmeal, ripped the spoon from it's package and pushed it almost up my nose.

"Here, eat some of this, it'll help." Bella continued, the oatmeal making my mouth water so bad it hurt.

Without thinking about it, I pushed the bowl away, shaking my head as I took another tiny sip from my coffee.

A siren turned on in Bella's head as she shot me a warning look.

"Lia, eat the oatmeal." She asked, sterner than before.

"Can't you wait until it cools down?" I half pleaded, seeing Edward suddenly run a hand through his bronze locks.

"If you wait too long, it'll get cold." She continued, pushing the plate towards me once more.

I suddenly pushed the bowl back, spilling some of the contents on the table as I stood up from my chair.

"I'll wait in the car." I muttered as I shoved by the crowded entrance, pulling the sweater closer to my body as I forcefully opened the car door.

I laid down on the back seat, rubbing my temples together as my head began to pound.

Edward POV

"Maybe we should go back to the car." Bella said worriedly, looking out the window as Lia laid her head down.

"Just let her cool down, no need to give her any added attention." I replied, feeling the frustration that came from Lia's usual episodes.

"I don't know what to do anymore." Bella added in a broken tone, turning her head back. "I think that she's going to be back at the treatment center in a short time, the way she's going."

I immediately became alarmed, "I don't think that would be such a good idea." I countered.

Bella narrowed her eyes again, her suspicion growing. "Why not?" she questioned,

"She's been admitted to two different treatment centers in the course of two years, if they haven't helped her, what makes you think a third time will do the trick?" I responded, trying to let Bella see reason.

"Well what else are me and Charlie supposed to do Edward? We can't force feed her." She attacked.

"Just give her more time, don't push her so much. She was getting around to eating it, I heard her, but you just pushed that desire away." I said, rubbing my face with my hands, already sensing yet another argument.

"Why do you want her around so much? You two have hardly spoken this week! Is there something going on I should know about?" She continued, lifting her chin defiantly.

"Love, please stop with all these accusations…"

"I accused you of nothing, I just want to know what happened that made you two stop speaking. Why, is there something I should be accusing you of?" She interrupted.

"There is nothing you need to accuse me of, I'm just inquiring as to why you are acting this way." I pleaded, hoping her voice wouldn't grow in volume.

"Acting like what Edward? You keep asking me why I'm acting 'this way', but I have no idea what 'this way' is!"

"Like her!" I finally shouted as several customers turned their heads to look at the both of us.

"Now will you please lower your voice love?" I asked in a quieter tone.

"No, no I will not! How can you compare me to her! What, you think I want to be like her?" Bella outraged.

"Love, please! You aren't yourself, this isn't how you usually behave."

"Oh, what? Do you mean I don't usually go against you? In case you're wondering Edward, Jacob's been telling me that I don't speak up in this relationship enough, and I'm beginning to think so too!"

"So you've been taking relationship advice from Jacob have you?" I seethed, unable to control my anger. I had never spoken to her this way before.

"No, that's not what I mean! I love you, but I feel like I can't breath anymore"

"What are you trying to say?" I questioned, my hands quivering at my sides.

"Why are you and Lia not talking anymore? What is it that Alice has been keeping from me? Why does Jacob keep warning me not to let you to be together?"

"We haven't been together!" I all but shouted, I had sacrificed Lia's friendship so that my relationship with Bella could be salvaged. But I couldn't tell her this.

Bella said nothing as she looked to the floor, the customers openly gaping. I heard them before I saw them. When she looked up, the tears in her eyes.

"What kind of together Edward?" She questioned softly before walking out of the coffee shop.

As a side note. Lia kept running away from Sebastian's kiss because it was part of the choreography, not because she was panicking about kissing him. Which I think she was, but that didn't stop her. Such dedication.

Lots of ballet in this chapter, I know... did you get bored? (;