Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Chapter 13

Nothing else happened between Draco and Hermione over the following days. Neither mentioned the kiss. Both had enjoyed but the kiss but they were afraid to say anything about it. And from that, they didn't see much of each other.

Hermione kept her distance from Draco and practically hid from him. She couldn't bring herself to be around him but she didn't know why. This whole situation was new to her and had no clue what to do. She liked the kiss but cursed herself for it. She didn't want this turn into an intimate relationship, or did she? Draco had changed drastically and Hermione would agree to friendly terms but date Draco Malfoy?

Draco understood Hermione avoiding him as rejection. He wanted to talk to her but he rarely saw the Gryffindor. He looked in the library and Room of Requirement but never could find her. He knew better than to kiss her that day but he couldn't help himself. He almost couldn't control himself. But what Draco didn't understand was Hermione not stopping him. He figured that's what she would have done but she let him. Afterwards she seemed to like it too but now he didn't see her at all.

Hermione walked around the castle grounds. The sun was high in the sky but it did nothing to warm her. There was still snow on the ground and it was silent except for the crunching of the snow underneath her boots. She pulled her cloak around her tighter and used her wand to create a ball of fire to warm her. She had taken to walks around the castle to help clear her mind and think. But all that filled her mind was the blond Slytherin. She accepted him as a friend and was playing around with the idea of more. Part of her was finding it hard to intimate with a guy who had bullied and insulted her and her friends through her entire time at Hogwarts. He even called her a Mudblood just three months ago! But at the same time, she was willing to let all of that go and move past it. That was all the past. Hermione was extremely confused on what to do and wished she had a friend to talk to about it. Her friends would all assume she was either crazy or Draco had put some kind of spell on her.

What Hermione hated to admit to herself was she was more scared of relationships than just being with Draco. She was afraid to be with any man. She hadn't had much experience in the field of dating. She only had been Viktor and Ron and neither one of them ended well. Ron basically ruined every possible relationship to come. As Hermione considered dating Draco, she was worried that she would be pushed too far. She knew how he was with women and what he did with them all. She wasn't ready for anything sexual now and she wasn't like the normal girl Draco messed around with. She imagined Draco just having his way with her then throw her to the side when he was finished.

A cold wind blew through right in Hermione's path. Her face was sore and red from the cold and she decided it was time for her to return inside. She entered into the Entrance Hall and made her way to the common room. Hermione knew she couldn't hide from Draco forever and had to do something now. On the way there she made up her mind on the situation.

Draco sat on his bed with his back resting against the head board. He had his journal placed in his lap and quill in his hand. He finally decided to give it a try and soon realized writing his thoughts down helped. He wrote everything down about Hermione and his feelings for her. Once he ran out of things to write, he counted the number of pages it took and was surprised to see it was seven pages front and back.

He returned the journal and quill back to his night stand and laid his back on the wall. He closed his eyes and thought about Hermione. He wanted to see her and talk to her. He could just be friends with her if that's all she wanted but he didn't know what she wanted. He hoped the kiss hadn't ruined his shot at friendship.

As he sat there in his thoughts, he heard the portrait door swing open. Hermione was back. His eyes flew open. He jumped off his bed and dashed to his bedroom door and tore it open. Once out of his room, he slowly down and casually walked down the stairs to meet her. Hermione was standing in the middle of the common room removing her wet cloak when he entered the room. She looked at him when she felt his presence but said nothing. She draped the cloak over her arm and they stood in silence for a minute.

"Hey", Draco said breaking the silence.

"Hey", Hermione replied.

Draco shoved his hands into his pockets as he bit his bottom lip trying to think of something to say. "So, how've you been the past couple of days? You're been like a ghost I haven't seen you at all."

"Oh I've been good. I've been walking around the castle a lot", Hermione replied.

"Ok. I looked at the library and the Room of Requirement for you but I didn't see you anywhere so I was just a little curious."

"You were looking for me?" Hermione asked with a small smile on her lips.

Draco shuffled his feet and looked down at them, "Maybe."

Hermione couldn't help but think how cute Draco looked now when he wasn't his confident self. "Now why would Draco Malfoy be looking for me?" Hermione asked in a playful way. 'Oh Merlin, am I flirting with Draco?' she thought.

Draco looked back up at Hermione, "Because I wanted to talk to you", he replied as he closed the space in between them but kept a distance of about a foot.

"About?" Hermione asked to keep the conversation going.

"It's about the other night. I'm sorry for… kissing you. I shouldn't have. I had no right to do that. I'm sure that's the reason you've been avoiding me and I wanted to apologize for it."

"You don't have to apologize, Draco. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I wasn't trying to do it on purpose but I needed to think."

"About?" Draco asked gazing at Hermione hopefully.

"Well, you've turned out to be a great guy this year and have changed drastically for the better. But at the moment, I can't date you", Hermione avoided eye contact as she said this, "it's not you. It's totally me. I'm not ready to be in an intimate relationship right now. You understand, right?" Hermione glanced up at Draco and saw him nodded his head but she saw the hurt expression before he got the chance to hide it. She genially felt bad for what she was saying to him. "I still want to be friends. Don't want to lose that", she finished with.

Draco half smiled and said, "Of course we can still be friends. Let's just pretend that kiss didn't happen."

"We don't have to pretend it didn't happen. It was too good a kiss to forget", Hermione said, "but you're not upset with me are you?"

"No not at all, I understand perfectly. I'm just feeling embarrassed and stupid to think that you would want to go out with me", he responded. He decided to lighten the mood up and said, "So this is what rejection feels like. I've never been rejected before. No girl has ever resisted the Malfoy charm before."

Hermione laughed, "There's a first time for everything, Draco, but I don't know what 'Malfoy charm' you are referring to."

Draco feigned shock, "What charm? You've got to be joking!"

"Unless you are referring to being an arrogant git and thinks everyone should bow down to you then yes I see that."

Draco's expression changed into a mock hurt expression, "That hurt, Granger."

Hermione smiled and played along, "What? Can't handle the truth, Malfoy?"

"Oh I can handle the truth but I'm not like that anymore. I have no idea who you're referring to by that description but I've changed", he said with a hint of seriousness.

"I'm not the one you have to prove that to."

"You're the only person I care about accepting me."

Hermione's eyes snapped to Draco's and her mouth hung open slightly in shock.

Draco chuckled, "You don't believe me but it's true", since he was close to the couch and placed his hands on the back of it and leaned back against it and looked at Hermione, "I know we have a long way to go but I hope you can accept me for and not because Dumbledore is making us."

"I already do", Hermione said with a soft smile.

Draco returned the gesture. Hermione walked around the couch and sat down. Draco climbed over the back of the couch so he could sit as well but left a space in between them.

"So", Hermione began, "what have you been up to?"

"Not much actually. When I wasn't looking for you I was just hanging around here bored out of mind. There's only so much I can do by myself and that got old fast. This is the first time I've stayed here over break. I didn't think it would get this boring."

"It's not as bad as you're making it to be. I find it relaxing here."

Draco looked at Hermione with a raised eyebrow, "Only you would find it relaxing being at school. I bet your sexual fantasies involve the library."

Hermione couldn't believe Draco had just said that to her and she responded with a hit to the arm.

"Oh, so I'm right?"

Hermione's cheeks burned red, "I didn't say that!"

"It's ok Hermione; I won't bug you about it or tell anyone. I promise. I'll tell you mine if that would make it even?"

Hermione held up her hand to stop him, "I'll pass."

Draco laughed but it was short. It then grew into an awkward silence. Draco ran his fingers through his hair and his eyes drifted around the room as he thought of something to say. Hermione was the only girl he had liked that he didn't want to immediately jump in the bed with. He was lost at what to do.

Hermione tapped her forefinger on her knee as her eyes wondered around the room. She hated the silence and not knowing what to say. She was surprised by Draco just having a conversation with her and not wanting to do more, though she knew that's what was most likely on his mind.

"If someone had told me a few years ago that you and I would be friends I wouldn't have believed", Draco said.

Hermione nodded her head in agreement, "I agree. I'm still trying to believe it for myself actually. We've had a colorful past."

"That's for sure", Draco said as he stretched his arm along the back of the couch. "You know, you were the first person to ever punch me in the face."

"I find that a little hard to believe actually", she replied with a smile as she thought about that day, "but you deserved it and was lucky that's all I did."

"Lucius was so pissed when he found out about it. He didn't understand why I 'didn't put you in your place'. Back then, regardless of blood, I couldn't harm a women and that's still true today."

"You could just insult them and make them feel like Hippogriff dung", Hermione said without any anger in her voice but the words still affected Draco.

"I'm sorry for all the things I said to you. I know it's too late to apologize but I truly am. Words can't convey how sorry I am for what I did", he replied as he looked straight into her eyes.

Hermione shook her head, "Don't worry about it, Draco. You're a whole new person now. We've started our relationship all over and that stuff doesn't matter now."

"Sounds good to me", Draco said.

"Do you think it would be possible for you and Harry to be on civil terms?" Hermione daringly asked.

"Maybe but I'm not going to be friends with him."

"I'm not saying you have to be best mates or anything like that but just civil around each other. You should try to make an effort to since you are helping him defeat Voldemort."

"I'm not the only one who needs to try though. He isn't the saint everyone acts like he is."

"I know Harry isn't perfect but I think it would be better if you made the first move. Show you can be trusted. Plus it will make this all so much easier when he knows."

"Yeah but that's a worry for another day", he replied as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling. "Hermione, can I ask you something personal?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Well, I was wondering if you would tell me about…about when…." Draco didn't know the best way to say what he wanted to ask without using the word rape. He knew it was an extremely touchy subject but he wanted to know.

Hermione knew what he was hinting about to. Part of her wanted to share it with him but the other part didn't. Harry was the only person she had told but even there she left out some details.

"Maybe another time."

"That's fine. I understand. I just want you to know that you can trust me with anything."

"Thanks, Draco." Hermione let out a yawn and decided to go up to her room to sleep, "I'm going to go take a nap Draco. I'll see you later." She rose from the couch and walked up to her room.

Draco remained sitting on the couch in thought. He meant what he said about how she can trust him. She hoped she would open up to him eventually. She didn't need to keep that locked away inside her.

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A/N: I know this was mainly all dialogue but I hoped it was still enjoyable. Hermione wants to be just friends but let's see how long that lasts ;) I would like to thanks Jess401 for her idea on Hermione's Animagus and it will be incorporated into the story.