Chapter 15: Exposed

Disclaimer: "But, Daddy, that's not how the story is supposed to end. It's supposed to be 'happily ever after'." "Sorry, sweetie. There are no happily ever afters, not even in stories. Not real ones." "So they're just gonna be sad and hurt?" "Maybe for a little bit. But it's not the happily ever after that we need to go for. It's the happiness we can find in each day, in each person that we meet, in the connection between each man, woman, and child, in the fact that even if we don't own iCarly, in some ways we do." "Okay, Daddy. I really did think he was gonna like the green eggs and ham, though." "Nobody does, punkin."

The next morning Freddie went with his mother to a used car lot. He hadn't seen or heard from Sam or Carly since he had left the studio. Not only had his declaration of love (which he flinched at every time he thought about it, imagining the words spilling out of him like vomit) moved Sam not at all, it now seemed that he may have lost both his best friends. Of course, Carly would take Sam's side. They had been best friends longer, before Freddie had even become the creepy kid across the hall.

If Freddie had not been distracted by his thoughts, he might have stopped his mother, not for the salesman's sake, but simply because he had been witness to her relentlessness before, and it had been embarrassing. But he barely heard them or saw that the salesman almost broke into tears. And Freddie soon was driving home in a 2003 Honda Civic for which his mother paid about half what was on the sales tag.

"Freddie, are you okay?" she asked, when they got home.

"Yeah," he said, giving her a smile that fooled neither of them. "I really appreciate the car. I'm just glad you're going to stop the double shifts now."

"Tonight's the last." She smiled. "Women problems?"

"Mom."

"Did she hurt you?"

"Mom, no, she didn't. Or she did. Maybe I did it. I don't know, okay?" She nodded and gave him a hug. He felt like he was going to cry. "Can we just not talk about it right now?"

She kissed the top of his forehead. "Okay. But you know I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk." She let him go. "Why don't you take the car out for a drive?"

"You're telling me to go out in the car by myself?"

"You're a grown man, Freddie. Just because I don't want that doesn't mean I don't know it."

So he took a drive, going without any particular destination in mind. He had hoped he would have Sam in the car with him the first time he did this. Sam's never gonna be in the same room with you again, much less a car, he thought. The game went too far, and she's upset at that, and then you had to go and make it worse by telling her you love her, when she obviously doesn't feel that way about you. And now she's just going to be uncomfortable around you.

It was only when his bladder warned him it was reaching full capacity that he really paid attention to the road signs. Spokane 30 miles. He was thirty miles from Spokane. He was nearly four hours from Seattle. Great, now his mom was going to hate him, too.

He stopped at a gas station, emptying one reserve and filling up another. He called his mother to let her know he wouldn't be home until after she had left for work. He might have fudged his reason and how far away from Seattle he was. His mother did not chastise him, and he understood that she was really trying to treat him like an adult. Now all he had to do was get back to Seattle and start acting like one.

By the time he got back, his mother had left. He unlocked the door to the darkened apartment, with only the lightbulb above the sink lit to guide his way. He turned on the lights. There was a note on the table.

Freddie, I left you the tofu casserole in the refrigerator. Please eat some of it before you start on the macaroni and cheese. If you need to talk, please just call me. I might not be able to pick up the phone, but I will call you back as soon as I can. I know you don't want to talk about girl issues with me, but I'm here. Speaking of, Samantha stopped by to give you something. I'm not sure I understand, but I'm getting used to that. I left it on your bed. Love, Mom

Samantha stopped by to give you something. What did that mean? Was she returning everything he had given her, from that picture of the three of them he framed for her birthday to the bowling trophy he made for her after she won another of their games?

He went into his bedroom, dreading what would be waiting for him. I hate you, Freddie. This is everything I'm giving you just so you understand that...

"Sam?"

It was Sam, but yet not Sam. It looked like her, but the look on her face, the one of shyness and nervousness, that wasn't the Sam he knew. She stood in front of his bed, and part of his mind noted the Altered Mime Penny T she wore. It went down to just above her knees, and she was not wearing pants under it. She wasn't wearing shoes or socks, either.

"Hey, Freddie."

"What are you doing here, Sam?"

"I talked to Carly, about our tagging," she said. Her voice was soft, light, almost breathless. "She didn't approve, by the way. And I also told her what you said to me before she came into the studio. And she gave me some advice."

"What was that?" Freddie asked, cautiously. Be gentle when you dump him, that's what Carly would have said. "I should know," she would say. "I've had plenty of experience doing it." Carly just didn't understand that it didn't matter how Sam broke his heart, it was going to break no matter what.

"Did you mean what you said, Freddie?" Sam asked.

"I...yes, Sam, I love you."

"Like you love Carly?"

"No. I love Carly. I love Spencer. I love my mom. I'm in love with you." Although he felt he was only giving her resolve she needed to push him away-after all, if his love was this deep, there was no way they could remain friends-he had to be honest with her.

"And you felt this way for a year?"

"I've known that I loved you for about a year, Sam," he said, moving closer. "I guess you could say I had a crush on you a little longer than that, maybe since around the time Spencer was doing those pranks. I guess I've thought of you differently ever since we kissed."

"And you couldn't have said something before now?"

"I...I didn't want to ruin our friendship, Sam."

"Friendship?" She laughed, but it didn't touch her eyes. "You've never been my friend, Freddie."

"Sam, please don't say that."

"You've never been my friend, Freddie. Because I've had a crush on you pretty much from the first time we met. But I knew, you know, I knew that I wouldn't ever be that girl you would want. I would never be Carly."

Sam. Sam, I don't want Carly."

"Well, I didn't know that!" A tear fell down her cheek. Freddie wanted to wipe it away, but he did nothing. He had to let her talk. "I told myself it's just a stupid crush on a stupid nub. But then I saw you and Carly dancing that night of the Girls' Choice Dance, and I realized it wasn't just a crush."

"Sam."

She held her hand up, silencing him. "A year, Freddie? I only wish it was a year. I only wish you had told me."

"I'm sorry, Sam." Sam loves me. Sam loves me. I should do something. And yet, it still felt like she was holding him back.

"You kissed me on the cheek that first time, and I thought maybe...but I know you couldn't feel the same way I did. So I kissed you. I figured if you resisted I could say it was just part of the game, and you were the pussy who quit on it. But you didn't." She hung her head. "And we just kept going. I thought, well, Freddie's a guy. He'd do anything to with a girl."

"Sam, that's not-"

"Shut up, Freddie." Her voice sounded strong when she said that, when she was on familiar territory. But then it went back to its nervousness. "But you wouldn't. I know. You're sweet and nubbish and dorky and you wouldn't take advantage of a girl. I gave you the opportunity. I wasn't testing you or anything. I would have done it gladly. But you didn't. And you were right. It hasn't really been a game. I..." She shook her head, laughing. "I accuse you of it all the time, but it's me. I'm such a girl. We go to movies, we go bowling, we spend the night, you take me out to eat, we make out, and the entire time I pretend we're dating."

"Me, too, Sam," he whispered, and she didn't chastise him for interrupting her.

"But then we kept getting closer and closer to the end of the game. I realized what was coming next a few days ago, and I tried to stay away from you. Not because I didn't want it, but because...well, you hear it at school, guy sleeps with a girl and then he dumps her. And you wouldn't even have to do that, because we weren't really together."

"I would never do that, Sam."

"I know that. And you wouldn't let me push you away. Because you've always been stronger."

"Stronger than you, Sam?" he asked, laughing.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I mean, Benson. Because if you do, I will kick your ass." He stopped smiling. "You know what I mean. You never let anything beat you down. I know, because I've often been what's been beating you down. No matter how many times that I've told you that I'm not your friend, or that I hate you, or that no girl will ever love you, you've always stood by me. I've punched you hard enough to leave bruises, and the next thing you're doing is telling me I did a great job on the webshow. Maybe you're a masochist."

"Maybe I am."

"So there you go, Benson. I've poured my heart out to you like a lovesick girl. If you're recording this, you can put it on the web and destroy my reputation."

"I would-"

"You would never do that. I know that, Freddie. It's a joke. Lighten up." She smiled, and this time it did show in her eyes. "Say that you love me again, Freddie."

"I love you, Sam, more than I could possibly say. But I would always try to let you know."

"And you'd never hurt me?"

Yes! he thought I would never... "I can't say that, Sam. I would never try to hurt you. And if I did hurt you, I would do my best to fix it and show you how much I love you."

"Such a smart boy," she said, smiling. She took a step back and pulled her shirt over her head. As he thought, she was not wearing pants. She wasn't wearing anything. "Show me now."

"Sam, you don't have to do this. You don't have to prove anything," he said, yet he was unable to resist taking in the beauty of her. He had seen all of her, but this was the first time he had seen all of her at one time, completely stripped of cloth, fully exposed...vulnerable. That was what she was showing him, he realized, that she was vulnerable. And she was allowing him to see it. Him.

"I know I don't have to, Freddie. I want to. I've been in love with you for so long, and we've been doing this thing, this dating without dating thing. I want this. I want you. You win."

"I don't win, Sam. I kissed you in front of another person, so I lose. We don't-"

"Well," she said, moving closer to him. "Carly actually pointed this out. You duplicated a tag that had already been accomplished in the game, so a witness to that does not disqualify you."

"That's semantics, Sam," he said. She was right in front of him, her arms now on his arms.

"I told you I'm not Jewish," she said.

"That's not what-"

"I know, Freddie," she said, grinning. Did I think she was vulnerable? She recovers fast. "I'm kidding. So you still win."

"It's not a game."

"No," she said, serious. "You won me."

He looked at her.

"Okay, that was cheesy," she said. "I've been hanging around Carly too long." She shrugged. She took his arms and pulled them around her back. "It's still true, though."

"You're a lot better than that stuffed panda I won at the fair in fourth grade," he said.

She opened her lips and pressed them to his. He felt her tongue push his lips open. He met it with his own tongue. She took one of his hands from behind her back and placed it on her breast.

She broke away from his lips and looked in to his eyes. He brought his forehead to hers. "You show me that you love me all the time, Freddie. I see that now. I only didn't because I was scared. Will you let me feel that you love me?"

She unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, putting her hand around his erection. "Will you love me, Freddie?"

"Yes," he said. He brought his lips to hers again.

A/N: Okay, I've decided to break this last chapter into two. Those of you who are uncomfortable with or don't care for the more sexual nature of the story can probably stop here. Others can continue in the next chapter, which, yes, will feature scenes of a very sexual nature, but also some of the sweeter side of Sam and Freddie. That chapter will probably be up in the morning, maybe a little later than I usually post chapters.

I have to thank everyone who heaped praise on my last chapter, especially those of you who felt it was among the best things I've written. I'm grateful for that, because I have to tell you that of anything I've written in the six stories I've posted, that chapter had to be the most...challenging? Not most difficult, as there were others in which it seemed harder. But that chapter I wrote, pretty much from the beginning I was thinking "this sucks, you suck...even Oscar the Grouch would say this stinks." And I didn't really feel comfortable with it until I had Freddie start his confession. That part just turned it all around for me. I just told myself, "Freddie just can't shut up, and he starts just blathering." I think ending on that (writing) high allowed me to go back and bring the other writing up at least a little bit.

Thanks for reviews from: coiwy1, Cukeygirl, Kechara7881, lil miss (you know who you are), zuni-yes, mamaluvsangst, Moviepal, Darsnider, Isaak Magnum Valhyre, crybaby452, popcorn1001, Princess Starlight, Urias, Cheruth, twelvex, jhulkman08, Jarik Kiray, pos, PakRat36, lianz89, Purple550, MissSeddie, Julefor, jamiewalsh, clarksonfan, jewdork, sammiilizzie, and afanoffanfic,

Darsnider: I was gonna say, "hey!" about the cliche, but you're right. I hope you liked Sam's response.

Princess Starlight: The day I get a review from you that says simply, "Good chapter", I'll know that I've seriously screwed something up. I don't think there's going to be an epilogue (I write before I've finished this chapter); I hope that everybody got out of this chapter everything they wanted.

Urias: Right now, I don't have any plans for anything else, but as some people might tell you, that doesn't mean anything, since I don't plan anything really (except most of my first story); the ideas just come. I doubt that I would write anything iCarly not based on Sam and Freddie (except maybe a Gibby insane-o-thon-don't have that planned, though). I'm probably going to start writing something completely my own, since my schedule isn't as convoluted as it has been this summer. But if an idea comes about iCarly, I'll probably write.

Cheruth: Soon after the idea came to me, I knew what I wanted Sam's declaration to be, and I felt it would have more impact if we got to it without really fully knowing what was on her mind-but I had to plant hints here and there without definitely having her just shout "I love Freddie!" As for the sexuality, I felt okay about writing the sexual aspects of the story, because I pretty much felt (kind of like I hint in the story) that they have been essentially dating for a long time; they just weren't aware of it. If it had been anybody but Freddie, Sam would not have done this.

twelvex: Don't blame Carly; she was just sent from the Sitcom Cliche Office and did what she was supposed to.

Jarik Kiray: That's the thing I like about Freddie. He knows if he gets in a fight, it's likely he's going to lose (unless he gets the other person to agree to use swords), but whether he loses or not doesn't matter. I hope that Sam's response, while not as you pictured it, works.

PakRat36: I actually like Carly as a character, and I think Miranda Cosgrove has made her more interesting in the last season or so; I just don't see her and Freddie as a couple.

lianz89: I know that Freddie being so chatty seems a little unusual, but I wanted to show that once he was finally able to tell her he loves her that he couldn't stop, and that all the thoughts going on in his head were pretty much coming out his mouth.

jhulkman08: not sure where you're going with that. Those things are brought up in a bunch of fanfics. I've said them before in my fanfic.