Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer.

Authors Notes: I am so stupidly ecstatic about the response to my 300 word prologue. I'm really excited about this story. It's been in my head for a while so thank you for all the reviews, and for adding this to your favourites and alerts.

I hope to update this story on a fortnightly basis. Something huge and unexpected is happening in my life right now, so I don't want to promise weekly updates like on MFBR.

Thanks to my amazing ficwife, LisaDawn75 – who is also my beta and keeps me on the right track. Tammygrrl who gets first look and helps spot my mistakes. And to my E, my Scrappy, for pre-reading this for me, and Zoe for pre-reading. Love ya long time - x

Don't Ever Look Back

Chapter 1

He chatted to me, his large brown eyes looking all around as he sat in the back seat of my old Jeep in his booster seat. I grinned as I took a peek at him in the rear view mirror.

"Oh, Mommy, he was so cool. We did some reading and then we worked on the letter S, and then we sang. Mr. Masen got out his guitar and actually sang. Mrs. Cope never sang with us!" Sammy gushed. My six-year-old was never one never gush; in fact, just a week previously, he had not been impressed that the substitute teacher who would be replacing the beloved Mrs. Cope, who had to leave for personal reasons was, in fact, a man. The only male teacher at Forks Elementary.

His arrival to our small town caused quite a stir. Apparently, he was very new to teaching and appeared to be in his late twenties, perhaps early thirties, and was also, apparently... quite the catch. But that was school yard gossip between the other moms and nannies. Some of the nannies tried talking to me about him, thinking that I was like them... like one of them. When someone whispered that I was, in fact, Sam's mother, they began to avoid me. That was nothing new.

"He really is cool, Mommy. He even played at being referee when we played tag at recess."

"He sounds great, Sammy," I told my over-excited child as we pulled up at our apartment complex.

"Can I unbuckle now?"

"Did we stop, yet?" I questioned him with a smile.

"Uh-huh, and you took the key out."

"Then unbuckle away, my little man!"

He clicked the seatbelt open and carefully removed the shoulder strap, waiting for me to open the door for him. He took my hand and grabbed his lunchbox, leaping down energetically from the vehicle. He took my hand, and we walked into our small, two-bedroom apartment together.

"You got homework tonight, dude?" I asked him.

Sammy shook his head. "Nope, I did it in class. I finished before most of the other kids, so Mr. Masen said that I could do it in class."

Awesome. I fucking hated it when my six-year-old child came home with another hour or two of school work. Like they didn't have enough to do during the day with six hours of learning. Homework, also, wasn't my strong point. I was dreading him growing older and wanting help solving some complicated math problem.

I was sixteen-years-old when I found out that I was pregnant with Sam. I was living with my father, Charlie, in Forks. It was a total accident, totally unplanned, and Sam's daddy is no longer in the picture. It was a one-time thing, and when I told him that I was having his child, he laughed it off, telling me that it could have belonged to anyone.

I made mistakes in high school. First off, I tried to be the way I thought people would like me. It turned out that I was wrong, and I had gone totally the wrong way about it. I dated casually... a couple of boys, and after a while, sex became fun. It happened a lot. News at Forks High would travel fast, and it wasn't long before I was deemed a cheap whore - an easy lay. Girls hated me, boys mocked me, yet they still wanted a piece of me.

I was accused of many things. Drinking, drugs, smoking. All of those things were not true. The only thing that I ever indulged in was sex. I loved it. I loved the way it made me feel. I loved the attention and the short term affection. It was the element of closeness I wanted the most. I didn't think it was wrong at first. I just enjoyed the attention. Without the sex, I was just Bella WHO? No one knew I existed.

Mike was the first. We dated for a couple of weeks. He wasn't a virgin, not by a long shot. It didn't take many attempts for him to get into my pants. After that, there was Tyler, and then it got out of control. The name calling started shortly after.

Chlamydia. They called me Chlamydia. I didn't have it. But that's what they called me.

After several months of looking straight through them and ignoring them, it finally got to me. I was just the shell of the person I had been before, so I decided it was time to turn over a new leaf. I would go back to being quiet Bella Swan, daughter of the Chief of Police. I would concentrate on my school work – which I was failing at miserably. I'd gone, in a matter of weeks from being top of the class in most of my subjects, to flunking. Big time.

Charlie was mad when the school wrote to him, expressing their concern. He then called my mother who flew to Washington with her husband, Phil, to verbally kick my ass. I couldn't tell them about my extracurricular activities, although Charlie told me that whoever the boy was, I wasn't to see him any longer. I guessed that my not showing up for dinner and coming home past nine o'clock had him believing that I had a boyfriend.

So, I vowed to change. I wanted to fade into the background, get my diploma, and maybe go to college. Be normal.

I wanted to never look back. I was just going to look forward. I promised myself never to trust in males again. I knew I'd just been used, and parts of me felt filthy - so dirty - when I thought of their fumbling hands all over my body and the looks on their faces as they rolled a rubber onto their probably infested dicks.

All except Riley – I had thought he was different. He seemed sweet at first, and even before we slept together, he took me out, and we had a burger and a coke. He even picked me up. It was like we were dating.

"Bella, you are so sexy. Thank you for coming back with me tonight." Riley's gray eyes looked into mine, and he reached across the center console and rested his hand on my thigh.

"I had a great time, thank you," I told him, smiling. He was so different from the other boys. He leaned closer towards me and kissed me. For a moment or two, it was relatively chaste, but soon enough, he opened his mouth against mine and forced his tongue into my mouth. He leaned closer and grabbed my head, practically pulling me over the handbrake and gearshift. I happily made my way onto his lap and kissed him back, his hands already getting busy under my shirt. He grabbed at my breast, pulling roughly at my nipples. The line between pleasure and pain was a thin one.

"That's so fucking hot that you're not wearing a bra," he growled as he pulled my shirt up. His eyes fell to my chest as he stared at my tits. I felt him twitch underneath me, and I snaked my hand in between us and under the waistband of his shorts. He was certainly smaller than Mike, Tyler, and a few of the faceless boys in my past, but he had not needed my touch to be incredibly hard. I grinned as I wrapped my hand around his length and pumped him experimentally, twisting his shaft like others had enjoyed.

"Fuuuuckkkk," he groaned, his hands and mouth on my tits, sucking, pulling and biting. I pumped him harder and gave his balls a small squeeze, which caused him to throw his head back and roll his eyes. "Shit... Bella, just fucking suck it, you dirty girl."

I complied. I'd been told I was pretty good at giving head, and I was flattered that Riley wanted me in that way. We moved to the back of the car, and he released himself from his shorts. I positioned myself in the foot-well of the car, in between his legs.

He groaned and grabbed at my hair as I quickly took his dick into my mouth and started to suck him off. I took him into the back of my throat and hollowed my cheeks out, increasing the pressure and sucking harder. Riley's hands pulled hard in my hair, pulling and tugging, and guiding my movements as he thrust harder into my mouth. I could feel him touching the back of my throat as I swallowed him down, taking all of him in.

"Fuck, Bella, you are such a bad girl. Take your panties off and get on your hands and knees. I'm going to fuck you now."

I released his cock, giving the head a brief kiss and running my teeth gently across the purple, climbing onto the seat. I pulled my dress up around my waist and wriggled out of my little black thong; I then got on my hands and knees before him, my ass practically in his face.

I felt his hot, sticky hands caress the curve of my butt for a moment, and then his fingers came into contact with my heat. He didn't delay, and I cried out in pain when he shoved three fingers inside of me, and his thumb pressed hard against my clit. He pumped three times and pulled out, wiping my juices onto the material of my skirt. "God, Bell, you are so wet for me. That's just for me, right?"

I nodded and rocked back towards him, brushing my ass up against his erection. "Yeah, it's only for you. You make me this wet. Only you, Riley."

"Just what I want to hear," he said as I felt him position himself at my entrance from behind.

"Condom... in my jacket... pocket..." I breathed as I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder.

He shook his head. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm allergic to latex; I thought I told you that already... don't worry, though, I'm clean, and I'll make sure I pull out. You trust me, don't you?"

Of course I trusted him. Out of all the boys, he was the one that had treated me like how I thought that a boy should treat his girlfriend. Dinner, touching, making out. "Oh, course... sorry. Don't worry about it," I told him.

He grinned at me and grabbed the base of his dick, sliding it up and down my slit. After he coated himself with my wetness, he pushed into me. His thrust wasn't exactly gentle, but it wasn't bad. The position was new to me, and it was definitely more intense that way. I could feel the pressure start to build up right away, and my stomach hurt from the spot inside me that he was hitting.

I arched my back and moved with him, meeting his hard thrusts with my own. His hands were at my waist, holding on tightly, and his nails dug into my skin. I knew I'd have bruises the next day – but they'd be a pleasant reminder of the fun night we'd had.

He started to slam into me harder, and he grunted with every thrust, letting me know that he was close to his release. I met his movements with abandon and clenched my walls around him. I grabbed onto the back of the seat and straightened up, so that I was on my knees, my back pressing into his chest as he took me from behind. I slipped a hand between us and grabbed him where we were joined, massaging his balls.

Riley's hands moved around my body, and one hand found my tits and the other my clit as he started to touch me. I felt myself spiralling towards one of the most impressive climaxes of my life. The pressure was amazing, and my whole body was throbbing in anticipation.

"I'm gonna cum," Riley cried out as he pinched my clit hard between his thumb and forefinger, which caused me to fall forward, back onto my hands and knees. I came hard, contracting around his dick. I felt him still, and he gripped me harder, pulling me towards him as he came inside of me.

"Shit... Riley!" I cried out, still coming down from my own climax but fully aware that he'd just came... and not pulled out like he'd promised.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry... I was just... it's just that you felt so fucking great, Bella. I was caught up in the moment. I've never come so fucking hard in my life..."

He pulled out of me and sat back on the seat. I pulled my skirt over my legs and grimaced at the feeling of both his and my combined juices dripping out of me. I'd only ever had sex with condoms before, and although sex without was certainly much better, the mess wasn't so fun.

"It will be okay, it's the first time, so it will be fine," Riley cooed. I relaxed a little, guessing he was right. "And by the looks of it, most of it came out anyway. Next time, I promise I'll pull out."

"You want a next time?" I asked him.

"Fuck, yeah. Look, I really like you, Bella."

The next day at school, he ignored me. He wouldn't even look in my direction. I tried texting him, and calling him. Nothing. I pushed a note into his locker. No response.

A week later, he told me to leave him alone. He'd used me. He had used his charm, led me on, and used me. His friend had mocked me and told him I was an easy lay, and the bastard had used me just for sex.

I had really liked him. I had honestly thought that he was different from the others. He seemed kind.

That was when I decided that I would never look back. I would only look forwards. I would go back to the way I was before. Quiet, little, Bella Swan. Little Bella Swan, who sat in her classes and worked hard. The one who was always first to turn in her homework. I would get my grades back up to standard. I would forget the slut. She wasn't me. She was a mistake.

All those boys were mistakes.

A week later, my period didn't turn up.

A week after that, when it was still late, I stole a pregnancy test from the Thriftway.

The next day, I peed on the damn stick and got two pink lines.

I had been fucked over, and I was pregnant.

I called him, and he picked up. I told him; he denied it was his, telling me that it could have been anybody's. That I was a good for nothing whore who slept around. I guess that was true, but he was the only boy who I'd ever had unprotected sex with. The baby was his. I had no doubt about that.

I told my dad, and he told my mom. The shit hit the fan, but they both supported me fully, respecting my decision to keep the baby.

I never went back to school. I got a full time job until I was too uncomfortable to work any longer.

Two weeks before my seventeenth birthday, Samuel Charles Swan was born two days after his due date, after the most horrifically painful experience of my life. He was seven pounds and three ounces, tearing me from one end to the other. I spent almost an hour in surgery after pushing him out, having my hoo-har repaired and pieced back together like a jigsaw puzzle. I didn't want to walk for a week.

Mom stayed in Forks for a week and helped me with Sam. She helped me to breastfeed, and yelled at me when I told her I didn't want to - that I wanted to bottle feed him. She told me that there was no way in hell she or Charlie would buy formula, when I had the good stuff already on tap. I scowled and did as I was told, too exhausted to even fight with her. I was glad she did it. Breastfeeding was awesome. I kept it up for nine months, and then Sam got teeth. Go figure.

My dad tried calling Riley, and then his parents, but all he got was a load of abuse. Charlie then learned about my past and my so-called bad reputation. I knew he was disappointed in me, but there was nothing I could do, apart from stay at home and be a good mother to my child.

When Sam turned a year old, I decided to go back to work. I started working full-time at Thriftway, and I got a good deal with a local day care for Sam. I enjoyed going back to work, and I was able to give my dad some money. He didn't want to take it, so I always made sure that I brought the food for the house and cooked all the meals. When I turned nineteen, Sam and I moved out and got a place of our own.

I didn't regret what happened. I didn't regret having Sam. He's my love and my light. But being a mother to a kid in elementary school could be tough. I was twenty-two and a half years old and away from a home with a shitty job. I did not have anything. I didn't even have my high school diploma.

The past scared me, yet the future frightened me even more.

"Mommy, can I get my Lego out?"

"Sure dude, as long as you pack it away after."

"'Kay Mommy; what's for dinner?"

I laughed. "Whatever you want, sweetie. Whatever you want."

"Mr. Masen likes Italian food. He told us that he has been to Italy three times. Next week, he is going to tell us all about it and said we can do some cooking. I told him that you have always wanted to visit there. He said I should take you when I'm bigger," Sammy gushed again, talking a mile a minute. I wondered if this was going to get old anytime soon.

"Mr. Masen clearly has good taste. So, in that case, do you want spaghetti?"

"Yeah! Please Mommy!"

I shook my head and walked into the small kitchen to prepare our dinner as my son built rockets and spaceships with his Lego's.

It was nice that Sam seemed to be enjoying the attention from his new, male teacher. But I had trust issues with men, understandably. I'd not so much as even been on a date with anyone since... Riley. I hoped this teacher was as genuine as Sam was making out.

Parent-Teacher night was next week. I guess we would see.

Let me know what you think :-) Isn't Riley a douche?