Be careful what you wish for

by Miss WittyGirl

It is the 7th year for the Golden trio. After the death of Albus Dumbledore, everyone struggles to keep up appearances. But soon Hermione learns that nothing what it seems. Without Dumbledore Order is not so united, and what her friends are up to? HGSS

4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello! I'm so sorry for such a long delay, but I was very busy lately. You know, you just can't put the real life aside… Also, it is the period of exams and they are very important to me. Anyway, in order to be forgiven here is a nice long chapter, where some of the questions are answered. I admit that I'm not very happy with some parts but I just do not know how to make it better…

Thank you to all who reviewed, it means a lot to me: Aleja21, Killer Angel, Valour01, notwritten, yapyap, DanniV, Sampdoria, Megan Consoer.

I guess it is pointless to ask but I'll give it a try: still no beta?

Now on with the story…

Chapter 4 :

Dear Hermione,

I and your dad were so glad to finally receive the news from you! We miss you so much dear. But first of all I would like to apologize for not answering you sooner: we know that you were looking forward our letter and we felt quite bad about keeping you waiting. But we wanted to receive first the confirmation before writing to you. What confirmation? you are surely asking yourself; let me explain. Remember this couple, Jason and Alison, we met while we were on holidays in France? And guess what? They are members of an American dental association and they invited us to come to New York for four month as part of international exchange program! It is such an opportunity, it is a chance of lifetime and we do not want to miss it.

Everything is settled already: we are starting on November the second.

I'll not lie to you: it pains us a lot to leave the practice for so long, but I'm sure Edward (remember the new associate we took last year?) will be perfectly able to keep it going. After all it is only a temporary… But that brings us to another question: we would like you to come to Seattle for Christmas. It is a long way, but distance is nothing when it comes to your family.

We love you,

Your mum & dad

§§§

Dear mum & dad,

I'm so glad for you! I can only imagine what an opportunity it is for you both. As for the practice, do not worry: I'm sure Edward (yes, I do remember him) will be able to keep it running for few months.

As for the Christmas, it is true that I said that I wanted to spend it with you this year, but at that moment I assumed it would be in England. So I'm sorry to say that I'll not be able to join you this year for the celebration. As you pointed out, New York is quite a long way from Hogwarts, even for a witch. I hope you understand that this year I do not have as much freedom as previous ones: first of all it is my last year and I have NEWTs, and I just can not allow myself the luxury of not doing anything for two weeks (and it will be exactly that if I come to see you. I know you are thinking that I can bring books with me, but you say it every time, and it just does not work!). And I have also duties as Head Girl. So I hope you understand that I just do not have enough time. I understand that you are disappointed, and believe me that I'm as well, because I really intended to have a family Christmas this year, but I'm sure you will want for your daughter what is best, and in this situation for me is best to stay in England.

Love you,

Hermione

§§§

Hermione,

I admit that we were quite shocked by your reply. When we asked you to spend Christmas holidays with us, we never expected 'no' as an answer. I and your dad we deeply regret this decision of yours, but by all means, do what you think is best.

Your parents

§§§

Hermione stared at the letter in her hands, forgetting the breakfast she was eating. She was trying to determine what emotions she was feeling. No, correction: she knew what she was feeling, but she was trying to figure out which one was predominant. Sadness at disappointing her parents, anger at them for not supporting her or relief for them being safe. My parents are disappointed in me… But what could I do? I mean with everything that is happening I just can not leave Britain. Seriously, how am I supposed to admit to them that we are at war and the Ministry is closely monitoring the borders? And now being the member of the Order it was as good as if there was a huge sign saying 'restricted to travel abroad' put on me. But at least my parents will be away and thus safe. And that is the most important. So relief it would be, definitely. A small smile appeared on her face and she turned to her friends, who were sending her worried looks:

- "Oh, do not look so worried, Harry, it was just the letter from my parents. They are slightly disappointed that I'll not be spending Christmas with them, but nothing to be worried about. So what were you saying about this match with Ravenclaws?"

They are so easily distracted…

At the same time in the Great Hall, just few meters from the Gryffindors, another person was reading the reply he was waiting for. Draco read the first familiar lines he wrote himself two days ago:

Dear Uncle,

I just wanted to let you know that the second weekend of October is Hogsmead week-end.

Yours, Draco.

But just underneath it there was one line that was not there before

Same place, same time.

§§§

Hermione left breakfast earlier than her friends, explaining that she had to check on potion before classes. There was no need for that, because she already checked it before the breakfast, but really they didn't need to know that. She just needed to be alone for a few moments and Great Hall was not the best place for that. Lately, she found herself more and more seeking the solitude. I just need to think, I need to process the information and figure out how my life changed. Sometimes I feel like a completely different person, but sometimes it seems that nothing changed at all. So what is wrong with me?

It had been two weeks since her introduction in the order and she still could not get rid of the impression that something was wrong, very wrong.

Flashback:

She could still remember how quick was her heart racing when she knocked at the door of Headmistress office door. When she entered there were only two people there: Headmistress herself and Professor Lupin.

- "Headmistress, Professor," - she greeted them both. Lupin nodded and Professor McGonagall gestured at the only chair that was free

- "Please sit down, Miss Granger." After Hermione made herself comfortable in the armchair that was facing both Headmistress and Professor Lupin, she continued:

- "It is quite a difficult situation we found ourselves in. I admit that I was not prepared for our conversation yesterday. You are a smart girl, there is no doubt about it: I knew that you would understand everything in due time but I didn't expect you to figure out everything on your own and so soon. It was my mistake to underestimate you, so please forgive me."

- "Professor, I do not understand…"

- "Please, Miss Granger let me finish, and I'll answer all of your questions. But before we continue, there is a little formality to go through. Miss Granger, the information we are discussing is highly confidential and we can not take a risk for it to fall in wrong hands. So Miss Granger are you ready and willing to join the Order of the Phoenix?"

To say that Hermione was surprised means says nothing at all. She looked at her former teacher trying to find any sign of whether it was a joke, but the face was deadly serious. Seconds passed and she still didn't utter a word. Her brain was giving her hints to say something, but her mouth was refusing to cooperate. Finally she managed to say:

- "Me. In Order?" Well, that was eloquent, bravo Hermione!

- "Yes you, Hermione, - said Remus, - Unless of course you see another Miss Granger in this room."

- "But, how it is… I mean I'm just… What I wanted to say is…"

- "Miss Granger, you are making no sense",- it was again McGonagal's turn to speak. I hope she will not refuse. Otherwise how am I supposed to explain to her that she is already a member of the Order? Maybe a little bit of intimidation will work… It always did with Severus. "We are not asking you to justify yourself. I asked a simple question and the only thing you need to answer is 'yes' or by 'no'." Then her face softened and she continued "Miss Granger, I understand it is all very sudden for you, but we do not have a lot of time, and we can not afford loosing it'

- "Yes, Headmistress, and I of course I'll join the Order! It is an honor for me to help the cause" Wow, I managed the whole sentence! And my tendency to ramble is back, so I guess the shock is wearing off.

- "Perfect! Let's start then. Remus, will you start please"

- "Of course, Minerva". He brought out his wand and pointed it on the Head Girl. "Miss Granger, take out you wand please and repeat after me."

- "I, Hermione Granger,'

- "I, Hermione Granger', repeated Hermione

- "solemnly swear to be loyal to the Order of Phoenix, its believes and its cause."

- "solemnly swear to be loyal to the Order of Phoenix, its believes and its cause".

- "swear to protect its ideals which I believe being my own and work towards the common goal."

Hermione repeated again, and as soon she finished the last word, she felt a bizarre sensation running from the tips of the fingers on her wand arm towards her stomach. When she looked at her right hand she could see something glowing on her little finger, and at closer inspection she could say it was a ring.

- "Welcome to the Order, Miss Granger!

End of the Flashback

§§§

Hermione looked at her hand, the ring was not visible but she could feel it was there. As Minerva and Remus explained to her, this ring was designed by Professor Dumbledore during the war against Grindewald, and was used a by many members of order during the first rise of Tom Riddle. Now it was compulsory for every member to have one as a security measure. It possessed a localization charm, which was activated when there was a serious reason to believe that the member was in trouble or missing; it also was a communication device in case of emergency.

First, Hermione was worried about wearing this ring around the school especially due to no jewelry policy but soon she discovered two things: first, that she can not remove the ring at her free will, and second, that it would sink into the skin when not needed so nobody can see or feel it. Actually, when one comes to think of it, this little device was quite ingenious. Staring at the ring brought her thoughts back to the evening.

Flashback:

- "Miss Granger, started Headmistress, nobody but few selected members of the Order know what I'm about to tell you. So as I said, in accepting to become the member of the order of Phoenix, you accepted to keep its secrets. But I insist again that you can not tell anyone, what I'm about to tell you, the magic that exists in the bond, will prevent it. You wondered about professor Snape, about what happened at the end of your last year. Indeed he is innocent, in the sense he did not betrayed the Order. Not long time after the summer holidays began, we found few pieces of evidences, including the pensive of Albus. As you probably already know, his last obsession – and yes, it was exactly that, an obsession, was to find and destroy all the Horcruxes, so Harry can complete his part. But he made a mistake, and as consequence, while destroying one of the Horcruxes, he nearly destroyed himself. Only by shear luck he stayed alive and only thanks to the effort and knowledge of Professor Snape he was able to stay alive for nearly a year. But Albus knew, that he was dying and he started to train Mr Potter to take his place afterwards in his search of Horcruxes. But then an unpredictable event came to bring down all the plans: professor Snape, as part of his spy activities – I'm sure it is not surprise for you, that Professor Snape is a spy for the Order – made an unbreakable vow to Narcissa Malfoy to accomplish the task that Voldemort set for Draco to accomplish, if Draco fails. Severus had no choice to agree, in order to keep his cover. Anyway, neither Narcissa, nor Severus knew what this task was about. It only much later, that we learned that this task was to make Death Eaters enter the castle and to kill Headmaster. So Albus made a decision: as I mentioned he was already dying and his last wish was that his death was not vain. So Albus made Severus promise that he would go through the task. I do not know how he managed to convince him, to be honest: I suspect, it must have been a powerful binding spell, something like unbreakable vow or wizard debt. But now, only Severus knows the truth. The only Albus' worry was that he never got the chance to finish Harry's training. So he instructed Remus to continue with it, but it fell upon Severus the task to destroy the remaining Horcruxes. So you see, you were on the right path to discover everything. Now you know.

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed the long speech delivered by the Headmistress. Professor McGonagall was waiting for Hermione to process the information and her reaction, as was Remus. He looked particularly concerned, the 'worried' frown on the Head Girl's face was not something he liked to see.

Over last few years he started considering her as a niece he never had, as Harry was his nephew. It was subconscious thought but coming to think of it, it was a logical one as he always considered James as his brother. Hermione, being like the sister to Harry, fell directly under the classification of "family". However he never was able to put Ron on the same level as other two of the Golden Trio, and he felt slightly guilty about it. Maybe it was due to the fact that Ron had such a big family that he didn't need more uncles? On the contrary, Hermione and Harry were different story, Harry being an orphan, and Hermione being a muggleborn, her parents belong to a different world, so it was as if she was an orphan in wizard community. She was such a brave witch, she always took care of everyone around her, but Remus noticed that not many people cared about her. Of course teachers loved her, but it was because she was the brightest student they had since a long time. Harry and Ron loved her, but they were… well boys, and the boys just do not notice many things. There was Miss Weasley but she was so worried about Harry, that she just didn't have time to worry about others. And there was the Order: the adults who were so caught up with the war, that Remus was not sure that they were seeing her as somebody other than the friend of the boy who lived.

He was brought from his thoughts by Hermione voicing her question.

- "And where is now professor Snape?"

Remus looked at Minerva, wondering how she was going to answer this question. Here comes the tricky part of the conversation.

- "We do not know that, Miss Granger', answered Minerva, her voice completely void of emotions, but Remus knew that she was only trying to be calm in front of the student.

- "What do you mean, 'you do not know'? Were you not looking for him? Did you let him know that you knew he was innocent? That you still trusted him and that he was not the pariah?"

- "Aurors and Ministry are looking for him, but without success. As for contacting him, we are not sure it is a wise move: we do not what he is doing and there is a risk to sabotage his cover."

- "So you are telling me, that you know for sure that professor Snape is innocent, but you have absolutely no idea where he is, what he is doing and whether he needs help. For all you know, he can be dead, but you are still waiting for him accomplish his task and manifest himself?" Hermione looked at her teachers silently begging to contradict her. She could feel her stomach twisting in a knot at the idea that her former professor could be dead. Such idea never crossed her mind. I was sure the Order knew everything. Please, tell me you do: I'm not asking for much, am I? Just tell me he is alright, it is all I'm asking for.

- "Miss Granger, please understand, that there was an agreement between Headmaster and professor Snape, and according to it, it is up to him to contact the Order and not the other way round." At this point Headmistress looked Hermione in eyes for the first time during the whole evening and Hermione realized just how tired she was. Last few months must have been difficult for her former transfiguration teacher: after the death of Albus Dumbledore, she found herself not only as the head of school, but also at the head of the Order. It was now up to her to deal with Ministry and board of governors, find new teachers, preside the meetings of the Order and take all important decisions as well as decide on the strategy of the war. They do have strategy, right?

Meanwhile, Minetva continued: "I admit, that it pains me a lot not to know what is going on with Severus. I know him since he was eleven years old and I care about him a lot but the best thing we can do now is wait." 'Wait'? So their strategy is waiting? But she didn't think that voicing her thoughts would be a good idea, so instead Hermione just said:

- "I understand, professor. But may I ask you what about Malfoy?".

- "What about Malfoy?"

- "Well, he was the one who had to kill Headmaster and he did run away with professor Snape before the official end of the school year. I checked the rules, and while there is nothing about the last point, the attempted murder of the Headmaster is classified as the physical attack of the staff member and it results in the expulsion."

- "Hermione, this is a very difficult and tricky situation. I know that it may seem illogical to you, but it is very important for Draco to stay at school. Considering that he was not the one to actually cast the spell, he can not be charged with murder or physical attack for that matter. However, for all others rule transgressions, there were disciplinary sanctions taken. Surely you must have noticed that he lost his prefect badge and he was serving detentions the first two weeks of the school year. Do you have any other questions, Hermione?"

- "No, Professor. You answered them all" Well, you said that you do not know the answers. What is the point of asking?

- "Good, Miss Granger, then we can sort out few things related to your new status of the member of Order of Phoenix. First, I must remind you again that none of this business must be discussed with anyone, especially not with Messieurs Potter and Weasley. Those two gentlemen must stay in blissful ignorance, for their own good, I assure you. Second, I will ask you to participate in the Order duties, like school patrols. I know you have already curfew rounds as Head Girl, but I would like you to add two night patrols on Fridays and Saturdays; we will not ask you to do those on school night, because we do not want your studies suffer. Also, in case you stay in the Castle during Christmas holidays we would like to count on you. The same goes for the supervision of Hogsmead weekends and I'm sure that Mr Finch-Fletchley will be glad to help you with the last task.

- "Of course, Professor, you can count on me."

- "Now, Miss Granger, we covered the essential points today. If ever you have any questions, my office is always open for you, but it is getting very late and I'm sure your friends are worried."

Here she turned to professor Lupin: "Remus, would you be please so kind to escort Miss Granger to the Gryffindor tower?"

- "Of course, Headmistress."

They said their goodbyes and with that they left.

End Flashback

In fact, it reminded Hermione that the Hogsmead Weekend was in two days and she still had to confirm with Justin the patrol schedule. We have arithmancy together this morning, so I guess I'll discuss it then.

§§§

After she and Justin once again confirmed who will cover which part of Hogsmead, she went directly to Quiditch shop as she promised to join Harry and Ron there. Lavender and Ginny went with them so she guessed there will be five of them. What was again that saying about the fifth wheel? Anyway, she will have to do her rounds every now and then: as Head Girl, she just had to go wander around, checking that there are no fights, students are behaving etc., nothing different from her rounds in the Castle. But now, as the Order member, she'll have to be more vigilant, observing the students not only from the point of view of what they are doing but also anticipating what they were about to do. It is in the moment like that, that I start to appreciate the job professors are doing, how am I supposed to know what is running through the head of a hormones driven teenagers?

Anyway, just the moment she was about to enter the favorite shop of her male friends, she saw Draco Malfoy going out of the shop nearby, going in the opposite direction from where she was standing, looking as proud and smug as always. Nothing was amiss with him, apart from the fact that he was completely alone: no Crabbe, no Goyle, no even Parkinson, his so-called girlfriend... Strange… Even after he lost his prefect status, for what was called disciplinary insubordination, that's for leaving the castle before the end of the school year, he kept all his friends and didn't become the pariah of the House. He is probably the idol now that he is associated with Voldemort. I still don't get how McGonagall took him back knowing that it is because of him at the first place that Dumbledore is dead. Coming to think of it, how did they manage to make Harry shut up? Strange, strange… I mean, he was screaming bloody murder the fist part of the summer and now he is all quite? I guess this is something I have to ask Headmistress. Is there another little device, making people keep secrets? Or it is just a potion or some kind of spell?

Without even realizing what she was doing Hermione changed her direction and instead going into the shop to join her friends she was following Draco Malfoy. Lost in her thoughts, Hermione didn't even notice how she came to the end of the village, just in time to see her fellow student disappearing behind the corner of the last house, and thus leaving the authorized perimeter. Gotcha! Now I have an excuse to follow you! But as she turned the corner, there was no one in sight anymore. She lost him. What a great spy are you Hermione! Not even able to follow a student! I wish professor Snape was here to ask him some advice on how to improve my technique. As soon as this thought crossed her mind, she started to giggle like a first year.

Well, that would be fun. She just could imagine the face of Severus Snape if she asked something like : "I'm sorry to bother you professor, but I really need to learn how to spy on people, can you help me? After all, you have such a knowledge and first hand practice…"

No, now is not a moment to let your imagination wander, she reprimanded herself, but a little too late. Where the hell Malfoy disappeared?

She looked around. Behind her was the village, and he definitively didn't go there. On her left was an open space and there was no way, he could run fast enough to be out of view so soon. He could have apparated… No, it's not possible, all the apparition is tracked around Hogsmead, if ever someone did try it, the aurors would immediately know who apparated and where. Hermione knew about this rule as the member of the Order. As Professor McGonagall explained, this security measure was set up already during the first war, but was not in use after the first fall of Voldemort. It was activated again after the Triwizard tournament, when the risk became once again too important. Those who lived in Hogsmead and the teachers were on what was called green list, meaning their destinations were not tracked down, but as for everybody else, it was possible to know who apparated where and from where. So much for democracy, muggle's Human rights associations would have freaked out if they knew about it. But I guess it is a necessary measure, and personally, I'd prefer to be monitored but safe. But back to the subject: Where is Malfoy?

She walked slightly further, and the place started to look familiar. She didn't have time to wonder why it was looking so familiar, when she saw a movement in the direction she was going; someone was coming her way but suddenly turned, so she accelerated trying not to loose from the view the new object of her pursuits. Even if the stranger wore a hood and she couldn't make out his face, Hermione could tell it was definitely not Malfoy: the man was taller and moved with more grace than Malfoy could ever manage. Something seemed familiar in him, but Hermione could not identify him without seeing his face.

She was continuing to follow him, when she understood where they were going: The caves! That's why the place seemed familiar: we went with Harry and Ron there in our third year! Perfect place for secret meeting, maybe I should have told someone? Shall I go back and inform the Order and aurors?

But the moment, the Head Girl was about to make the wise decision, the wind blew up and the hood slipped for a brief moment from the head of the stranger. But this little second was enough for Hermione to identify him: it was Severus Snape. He is alive! And he is here! This were the only coherent thoughts that run through Hermione's mind at the moment, and she started practically to run in order to catch up with him. I do not care whether he sees me, but I just can not screw up such a possibility to speak with him! They were already near the caves, if he reaches them, it will be damn difficult to find him. So she accelerated again, thanks to the extra training she was getting from Remus, she was developing nice muscles, but running in boots with high heels and a skirt was not an easiest thing to do. Damn my last obsession with skirts! Damn my friend Helena, who pointed out during the summer holidays that I look 'hot' (her words, not mine) in them! But as he predicted, Severus Snape, disappeared in caves much earlier than she managed to reach them, and by the time she was standing at the point where she last saw her former professor, the said professor was nowhere to be seen.

"Damn!" she swore out loud. I find myself doing it quite often lately, I really should control myself better.

She was about to take another step when suddenly somebody sneaked on her from behind. Hermione wanted to scream, but the attacked hand covered her mouth stopping her from calling for help. As if anyone will hear me anyway… And I didn't even tell anyone where I was going; nobody will be looking for me… As the thoughts flew through her head, in space of one second she stopped being just scarred: now she was definitely panicked! But before she could start imagine the worse scenarios, a silky voice whispered in her ear:

- "What do you think you are doing, Miss Granger?" Professor Snape! She wanted to answer but his hand on her mouth was preventing her from speaking. Without letting her go he continued: "Did you really think that you could follow me without me noticing? Especially if you are as discreet as an elephant?" Without giving her the possibility to answer he continued: "You are scared." It was not a question. "I can feel you shiver, but what did you expect while following the murderer?"

I know, I know the truth. I know runs through her mind but she is unable to say it aloud. Her back was still pressed to the body of her once hated teacher, she could feel his body and his voice always very low, but silky, and… disturbing. What is wrong with me? I must be going mad. Then unexpectedly, Snape released her, spinned her around but before she could utter a word placed a silencing charm on the girl. She tried to say something but nothings was coming out.

- "You can not imagine, Miss Granger, what a pleasure to have you silent, I should have thought about his spell long time ago. Too bad the teachers are not allowed to curse student. Pity."

Again Hermione tried to say that she knew everything, but again failed miserably. Then she closed her eyes and tried to think very hanr about being the Order member, and as the result the ring, that was hidden in her skin appeared, visible to Snape. Gradually, stone mask on Severus Snape's face slipped, and Hermione could see that he was definitely intrigued. The change was so small that for somebody who didn't know Severus Snape, it would go unnoticed, but for Hermione it was enough.

He looked into her eyes and the images of her speech with Minerva flew through her head

- "Interresting… So, I take, you are now in the Order," – he said while lifting the spell – "They must be really desperate, to let the child in. Tell me, are Potter and Weasley also in the Order?

- "No, sir, they are not. I guess the Order is not that desperate. I don't think they even thought about including me, but…"

- "Spare me, Miss Granger, I do not wish to know what possessed the Order to take such a foolish decision, I was blissfully unaware of their idiocies for the past 4 month, and I try to preserve this blissful ignorance for slightly longer. Now, I have business to attend, go back to Hogsmead and forget about seeing me."

- "But sir, you cannot walk away just like that!"

- "And why not, Miss Granger?"

- "Don't you have a message for the Order? It had been months since they heard from you, certainly you have something to say…"

- "And what makes you think that if I have something to say to the Order, I'll make you my messenger?"

- "Because I know the truth about you and you can trust me."

- "Well, I concede that you the point about the truth, as for the trust… You are mistaken, Miss Granger, I can not trust you."

Hermione felt a little sting of hurt at his words and her first impulse was to contradict him, but immediately decided against it. Arguing with Professor Snape is the worst thing one can do while trying to prove one's point. So instead she said.

- "Well, give me then a chance to prove you that I can be trustworthy".

- "You had six years for that, and you managed just the opposite. Give me one reason why it should change right now?"

- "You need someone inside the Castle to be able to pass information back and forth".

- "I already have a TRUSTWORTHY person in the castle"

- "But do you have the a person in the Order?"

There was a silence between them. It was impossible to say what Professor Snape was thinking, while Hermione was silently praying that he would accept her proposition. She could say why it was so important to her, she just knew it was.

Then Severus Snape made an unusual thing: he put his arms on Hermione's shoulders and while staring right to her eyes said:

- "Miss Granger, I'll keep in mind your offer and if I get very desperate I might use it. But unless it is life or death situation I doubt it very much. But know I'm not in life threatening situation, so the best thing you can do is turn around, go back to your little friends and forget about seeing me."

With that he turned and left, and she just stood there still feeling the echo of the strangely comforting heat of his hands on her shoulders and she never noticed the little lock of her hair disappearing inside the voluminous robes of Severus Snape.

A/N: Do not forget: the magic word "review" ;)