She pondered her response for a moment and decided she didn't want to spoil the mood so she let it slide, for now. She did feel his body stiffen beneath her and knew he must be kicking himself for saying it, so that was good enough.
"It's pretty late and I'm really tired. I think some sleep …" she started to say but Castle cut her off.
"Yeah, well I guess my work here is done, you probably want to be alone now, right?" he asked in confirmation.
"Castle, I really do appreciate everything you've done tonight. I would probably still be shivering in bed if you hadn't come over, so thank you again."
They still hadn't moved from their positions and she decided just to go with the flow, what could it hurt. She could feel him shift, breaking the contact with their hands. "It's late Castle; you should just crash here, unless you're needed at home?"
"No no," he answered, "Not needed. Thanks for the offer, but I don't think my back could handle another night in a chair."
"For goodness sake Castle, we're both adults, I think I can handle you staying in this bed, as long as you stick to your side, we'll be fine. No one has to die and I'm sure I don't need to remind you …"
"I know," he smiled back; "You sleep with a gun."
They parted and each instantly missed the contact. Kate settled in her half of the bed and Castle in his. Seeing as he couldn't strip down to his boxers, his normal sleeping attire, he would have to sleep in his clothes, well his jeans anyway. He removed his shirt once again and lay down on the bed.
Her last comment ran through his mind, As long as you stick to your side, we'll be fine, what did that mean exactly? What would happen if they weren't fine? He was way over thinking this; then again, it didn't go unnoticed to him that she had made physical contact by stroking his hand, a side of her that was new. Not in the way the last time she'd taken his hand, this time it felt different and he was positive there was an intended emotion there.
This was giving him a headache; he brought both arms up to his head and crisscrossed them over his eyes.
Kate had cunningly watched him from the reflection from the mirror on her dresser. It looked like he was struggling with the same conflicting emotions that were present in her. Usually she liked, no in fact enjoyed messing with him, but she knew even this was mean.
Faking a yawn, she rolled over and snuggled into him saying, "Night Castle."
He placed one arm around her and replied, "Good night Kate." Kissing her temple, he closed his eyes, his lips lingering for just a second longer than necessary, savouring the moment. This was comfort, nothing more.
He lay awake for hours, sleep was not coming tonight. He'd felt Kate's breathing change earlier and knew she was asleep. He could feel her breath on his chest and was glad that she wasn't able to hear the pounding of his heart. How on earth he was going to survive through the night with her in his arms?
He continued to hold her, enjoying the elation it was bringing as he knew in the morning, she would be back to Beckett mode, that had happened before and he knew it was coming. He unconsciously started to caress up and down her arm as he held her, letting his mind roam, wishing it could be like this every night. He'd be lying to himself if that thought hadn't crossed his mind lately. In fact, it seemed to be creeping in more and more.
Caught up in his own reverie, he failed to notice her eyes opening. Her breathing was quicker and she was enjoying his touch. She tentatively moved her hand up his chest and felt him take a sharp intake of breath. She moaned softly as she continued to stroke his chest, hearing him gulp down. She couldn't blame the fever now for her actions. In fact, all she knew that he was here with her as always, and she selfishly wanted to touch him, like so many times before, she needed to be close to him. She knew she was fishing in dangerous waters and if she was to continue, she was going to need a bigger rod. The only thought now crossing her mind was did she have the courage to reel him in.
He opened his eyes and stared down at her, still trying to comprehend what was happening. She felt the slight turn of his head and met his gaze. Those beautiful green eyes of hers were piercing his very soul.
"Kate," he strangled out, his eyes filled with desire. He was begging her to stop with the look on his face and pleading with her to continue with the look in his eyes. He was tense, nervous that she was about to do something she would regret. As much as he wanted whatever this was, her friendship meant more to him, and that wasn't worth losing her over what he was certain would be a one time moment of madness.
As good as he was at reading her, now it was her turn, "Shhh," she replied, "its okay Rick." She moved the offending hand up to his cheek and cupped his face. The use of his first name was not ignored by him as she directed his face around to meet hers. She shifted herself up to meet him, still cradled in his arms.
Castle was worried of doing or saying the wrong thing, this was too important to mess up so he just let her set the pace as she continued to stroke his face, her nail scraping over the stubble that was forming there.
She placed her head down next to his neck, under his chin and continued to toy with his face. He could feel her breath there and it took all his resolve not to kiss her right and then, he was physically aching inside, his stomach doing an upside down dance.
Kate nudged her nose up towards his neck, just under his ear and breathed heavily against it, knowing the effect it would have on him.
"You're teasing me detective." He moaned out, moving to face her, their lips mere inches apart now. He still had no intention of making the first move, that would have to come from her.
"You do it all the time to me Castle. What, you can dish it out but you can't take it? She responded, playing with him, their eyes doing a dance of their own.
"I see you are feeling much better. In fact, almost like your old self. Or would that be your new self?" He watched her with interest, seeing what she would come back with, a small smile forming on his lips.
Kate was taken aback, she was sure that she was giving him the correct signals that she wanted him to kiss her and yet, here she was inches from his delicious lips and still he made no move. She thought about all that had happened tonight and the way that he'd behaved and realization hit her, he was waiting for her to make the move, making sure this was what she wanted. Damn, why did he have to be so considerate?
Swallowing her nerves away, she licked her lips timidly and bit down on her lower lip before moving in. The contact was so tender, so light, Castle felt like air was brushing over his lips. If his eyes hadn't been opened, he might have missed it altogether. It wasn't under pretence or feigned like the last one. She pulled away instantly, open-mouthed, staring at him looking for a reaction. His mouth mirrored hers as she moved in again, more self assured. She was met half way this time as their lips crashed together, full of passion now. It didn't take Castle long to return the enthusiasm as he felt her tongue graze over his lower lip. As dominant as ever, she continued to invade his mouth with her tongue as they fought for control.
He really didn't want this moment to end, he could spend forever kissing the lips that haunted his dreams but he knew in his heart that this was as far as it was going to go tonight, as far as he was willing to let this go. As much as he was ready to commit to her, she was far from ready.
He peppered soft kisses to her mouth to break the connection and pulled her in as tight as he could, embracing her. "We really should get some sleep," he suggested.
She tucked her head into his chest and replied, "Yeah, I guess so." Her hand found the spot on his chest from before and she closed her eyes in bewilderment. She never thought that Castle would be the one to pull away. Had she blown her chances, had she gotten it so wrong?
She woke up a few hours later to an entanglement of arms and legs. She was almost feeling 100 percent now and panic set in. She didn't want to have to deal with Castle and the embarrassment of what she saw as rejection last night. Somehow in the middle of the night, they had knotted themselves together and she hoped she could escape without waking him up.
She moved slowly to untangle herself from him and made her way to the bathroom. Looking back at him before she closed the door, she noticed how cute his bed hair was. It looked like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards. She had to stifle a laugh, she didn't want to risk waking him up.
This was ridiculous; she was acting like a 12 year old, not a grown woman. As guilty as this felt, she really had to get out of her apartment. She quickly grabbed some clean clothes from the hamper in the bathroom and threw in Castle's wet underwear in the dirty hamper, nodding to herself that all men really did left everything at their backsides. A quick wash, brush of the teeth and then was dressed, making her way out. She turned to leave a zonked out Castle sleeping peacefully.
She closed the apartment door behind her and made her way to coffee shop nearby. A few minutes later, she sat with a strong coffee, fingering the lid of the polystyrene cup not quite believing she'd literally ran out of her own apartment. She pulled out her phone to send Castle a text. She knew he would be worried when he woke up and couldn't find her. She typed in the message Sorry Castle, have some things to take care off this weekend. See ya at the precinct Monday, thanks for being there lock up on your way out and pressed send.
Castle woke to the sound of his phone beeping. He knew instantly something was wrong and he reached over to grab it. Opening the message he read it. Staring at his phone he read it again and again. Shaking his head, he got up. He immediately knew why she'd left, she was yet again running away from her feelings, doing what felt comfortable and safe … she was hiding. He suspected she wasn't coming back until he was gone, and as upset and pissed off that she'd left this way, he had no choice but to get up and go back to his loft.
The rest of the weekend was uneventful for both of them, except for the events from Friday night replaying over and over for both of them. Monday was looming ever so close. Unbeknown to each other, both had picked up their phones throughout the weekend but neither of them making contact first.