"Why is she avoiding me?" I whispered to Crabbe and Goyle as I watched Bethany walk back and forth on the platform from our carriage.
"Well, you did just break her heart…" Crabbe said, looking from me to Goyle, wondering if he really should have answered or not.
"Oh, right. I keep forgetting we're not together anymore." We rode in silence up to the castle as Pansy kept trying to hold my hand and was constantly touching me. "Pansy, seriously. Stop."
"Alright, Draco, I'm sorry." Pansy answered, looking out the window. "What do you even see in her anyway? She's not really that pretty…"
"Pansy, you wouldn't really understand what pretty is since you're the ugliest person alive on the inside. Your personality is shit. And besides, Bethany is beautiful inside and out, no matter what situation she's going through. I mean, look at her right now. Her red hair is amazing in the moonlight." Everyone just sat quietly in the carriage for the rest of the ride.
I mean, I kind of felt bad that I said that to Pansy, but she needs to learn. Not that I'm one to talk, I guess. I've never been one with a lot of friends, really. I used to be so mean. I guess I still kind of am, but usually it's unintentional these days. I just want to have friends. Being an only child is okay for so long. Sooner or later you get lonely, and want someone to spend time with.
And I'd had that with Bethany, but I threw it away… Why? Because I'm a selfish bastard. When school had ended last year, she'd told me about her plans to vacation in Greece that summer. I had asked if I could come, and she said no, said that she just needed the time for herself. She hadn't contacted me the whole summer, so when she'd come to the Manor baring multiple gifts the week before seventh year started, I'd immediately told her I couldn't accept her gifts because we were no longer a couple. She was crushed, and I couldn't blame her.
Now I would just have to face the consequences, and have to mope around while she moved on and found someone else. I couldn't let this happen, though. I'd have to try and show her that I still loved her. I was wearing the shoes she'd bought me, after all. She just had to know that I still loved her.
The carriage stopped at the top of the hill, and the four of us exited, Goyle helped Pansy down the little steps, followed by Crabbe, and then myself. Crabbe and I walked in silence as Goyle listened to Pansy prattle on about what she did that summer and who she'd been to parties with, and whatever else. He politely listened, and I noticed that same look of love in his eyes that people would describe in my eyes when I was around Bethany. I'd have to remember to be somewhat nicer to Pansy when Goyle was around.
We went in and sat at the Slytherin table as all the other students began to file in. I sat on the end, making sure to leave a seat for Bethany, even though we weren't together. I wanted so desperately for her to sit next to me, just to look at her, just to hear her voice, her laughter. She walked in with Luna, Gabriella (her sister), and Cho Chang. She waved goodbye to the three Ravenclaws and walked over towards the Slytherin table. I smiled and motioned for her to come sit next to me. She looked at me and then walked towards the other end of the table.
I frowned and then spent the rest of the time until the Sorting of the first years staring at her, watching her talk to our peers around her. Shortly after everyone else had come in and sat down, Professor McGonagall brought in the Sorting Hat and the stool for the first years to sit on. Bethany waved to a young blonde first year girl, who was called forth as "Blake, Regina." She was sorted into Slytherin and for the first time that night I saw Bethany smile. The first year came over and sat next to Bethany. They talked and talked until the Headmaster dismissed everyone for the night.
They walked past me and I heard Bethany tell Regina about going with the Prefects, which I was one of. "Miss Austin, I'd be happy to take Miss Blake for you, with the other Slytherins, of course."
"Thank you Mister Malfoy." She turned to Regina and whispered "Go with him. He'll show you where the common room is. Make sure to stay with the other first years, though. Don't let him ask you anything about me. Okay?"
"Okay." Regina whispered back. "Hello, sir." She said to me. I smiled at her and turned to Bethany to speak to her, but she was already gone.
"This way, if you please, Miss Blake." I said as we walked towards the dungeons. I met up with Blaise and we led the first years to the common room. We talked along the way, and as soon as we'd led all the first years the right way, we sat on the couch and talked.
"Have you talked to Bethany yet?" Blaise asked as we watched the older students come into the common room and head off toward their rooms.
"Only to offer help with a first year. Then she disappeared. I just don't know how to get her to talk to me again." I replied. "I know what I did was wrong, I just don't know how to fix it."
"Just give her some time to see that you know what you did. She's not going to listen to you unless you let her come back on her own time. Just leave her little notes or something. Things to make her smile."
"But what if she won't let me? What if that only makes it worse?" I sat and wondered into the fire as Blaise sat quietly waiting for his boyfriend to show up.
"You'll be fine. Like I said, Draco, just give her time. You hurt her, she's not going to forget that right away. Just be the you that she's used to, and she'll come back." Blaise said, squeezing my shoulder and leaving to go spend time with Allen.
"But what if the me she's used to isn't good enough anymore?" I sat by the fire almost all night wondering what I needed to do to get Bethany to love me again. I mean, I never stopped loving her even after I did what I did. Bethany will always be my one true love, no matter what anyone said to me about it. I just wish I knew how to let her know that I still loved her.
I didn't' really want to leave her alone and let her come back to me, I didn't know how long that would take, or if it would happen. I needed to do something special for her, something that she would know was from me for her specifically. I just needed her to know that she is my one and only.
Now I just need to figure out what I can do for her. What did she love about me? My art! I would always draw her things that she loved. Now to just draw her something that would remind her of the good times we shared. I could draw her a picture from that one time we went on vacation together in the mountains. Or that time my parents bought us a vacation home in the tropics. That's the one. She loves tropical things. Especially the beach.
That's what I'll do. I take her to the beach, here at Hogwarts. I'd need to talk to the Headmaster, though. I can't just go off making a beach on the castle grounds without the consent of the Headmaster. What kind of prefect would I be if I did that?
Just then, Bethany walked into the common room. I smiled, knowing that I would soon have my love again, and walked into my room, which just happened to be right across the hall from hers. I closed my door, making sure to leave it open, just a crack, in case she wanted to come see how I was doing.
I changed into my pajamas, which she'd bought me when we first went on vacation with my parents, turned off my lights, and lay in my bed, alone for the millionth time since Bethany and I broke up. It was cold, and something I wasn't used to. I would have Bethany back for my own, one way or another.