Author's Note: The title of this chapter is inspired by Atomic Tom's "You Always Get What You Want," which was featured in the TVD episode, "Katerina." Many of you were understandably curious, as to how I would reconcile the differences between TVD and True Blood vampires. In terms of the vampires' respective "lifestyles" and physical appearances, you will find a simplified explanation here. However, I was forced to tweak one "minor" aspect of True Blood canon to complete this story. Here, rather than have vampires be universally public, they have only publicized their existence in CERTAIN states. This slight tweak allowed me to create a world, where Damon, Stefan and Klaus have "secret" identities, whereas Eric, Pam, and Jessica are "publicly" vampires.
7:30 p.m. – Merlotte's Bar and Grill
From the moment Damon and Elena walked into Merlotte's, they were all anybody in the bar could talk or think about. The last time Sookie had seen the Bon Temps' drinking crowd this excited about anything, was a few years back, when the bar had its very first vampire patron.
"Mmm . . . mmm . . .mmm! Break me off a piece of that leather-jacketed Hunk of Man Chocolate!" Lafayette cooed, fanning himself with a spatula, as Damon briefly passed by the bar, and led Elena to a booth by the window.
Sookie playfully punched Lafayette in the stomach, as she slid a beer across the bar to an already inebriated Jane Bodehouse. "Lafayette Reynolds, you put that naughty tongue of yours back into your mouth! You are SPOKEN FOR! What would Jesus say, if he heard you talking like that about some stranger you've never even met?"
Lafayette smiled seductively, rubbing his hands together with glee. "For your information, I know EXACTLY what he would say. One word: THREESOME."
Sookie rolled her eyes and laughed, as she pulled her order pad and pen out of her pocket. "You are incorrigible!" She scolded good-naturedly.
Though Bon Temps' One and Only Telepathic Waitress generally tried her best not to use her mind-reading powers to eavesdrop on bar patrons, she couldn't help but be a bit curious about the out-of-town couple. The man was a vampire, one who looked like he had turned sometime in his early-twenties. Though he didn't have ghastly pale skin, or red-rimmed eyes, like the vampires with which Sookie was familiar, she could tell immediately what he was, due to her frustrating inability to read his mind.
Fortunately, for Sookie, Elena was a big enough mental broadcaster for the two of them. From her, the enterprising waitress pieced together that the pair had come from a place called Mystic Falls, in search of HER boyfriend, Stefan, who just so happened to be the vampire's brother. The vampire with whom Stefan ran off, was apparently, VERY bad news. So, both Elena and "Damon" were extremely worried for his safety. As if that wasn't stressful enough, Damon was in LOVE with Elena. And, because the pair had recently exchanged an arguably chaste kiss at a very intense moment in their lives, Elena was starting to wonder whether she might have feelings for him too.
Man, and I thought my love life was complicated! Sookie thought to herself, as she put on one of her trademark "Don't worry, I'm not really digging for gold, inside your brain" smiles, and stopped in front of Damon and Elena's table. "Hi, welcome to Merlotte's! My name is Sookie, and I'll be your server today. Can I start y'all off with something to drink?" She asked, a bit too eagerly.
"Actually, we are kind of here on business," explained Elena, as she dug in her purse for a photograph. "We were wondering if you might have seen . . . OWW! What did you do that for?" Elena yelped, as Damon purposefully nudged her with his foot under the table, a bit harder than he had initially intended.
"I'm sorry. We're going to need a few minutes . . . maybe even more than that," Damon said politely, flashing Sookie a 100-watt smile of his own.
To Sookie's amusement, she noted, based on the way Damon's eyes glowed, ever –so-slightly, when he spoke, that the vampire had been trying to glamour her to stay away from their table, so he could discuss something important with Elena. Little did this out-of-town vamp know, that crap just plain didn't work on her. Sookie was totally and completely immune to any and all methods of vampire compulsion. Nevertheless, she decided to play along. "As you wish," replied Sookie, trying to approximate the dazed look of a recently-glamoured human.
As she walked away from the table, however, Sookie managed to give a secret wink to Elena, and subtly nod her head toward the Ladies' Room. Elena smiled and winked back. Message sent . . . and received.
"What the hell is your problem?" Elena asked pointedly, turning her attention back to her dining companion. "In case you haven't noticed, we are in a strange town . . . a thousand miles away from home . . . and we don't know ANYBODY! How exactly do you expect us to find Stefan, if we don't even ASK PEOPLE IF THEY'VE SEEN HIM?"
Damon leaned toward Elena, his eyes fiercely determined, and his fists passionately clenched, as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to KILL her, or throw her on top of the bar, rip her clothes off, and have his way with her, while the entire town of Bon Temps watched. Elena pinched herself underneath the table, in an effort to push all of these naughty thoughts of Damon out of her brain, so that she could focus on winning this argument.
"In case YOU haven't noticed," Damon began, matching her annoyed tone, "This is Klaus we're dealing with. Remember Klaus . . . the guy who took over Alaric's body, and . . . um . . . what else did he do? Wait . . . it's coming to me . . . oh, yeah . . . KILLED YOU? The guy who has the power to compel anybody, possess anybody, and pretty much kill anybody, all with about as much effort as it takes for you to brush your teeth in the morning? You are right, Elena. We don't know anybody here. And ANY of these people . . . including that chipper barmaid you were making googly eyes with earlier . . . (YES I saw that) . . . could either actually BE Klaus in disguise, or be working for him?"
Elena sighed exasperatedly, as she settled back in the booth, folding her arms across her chest. "So, what . . . we are just supposed to SIT HERE, eat some curly fries, and wait for Stefan to come to us? Every second that we waste, is time that Klaus could be HURTING Stefan. He could KILL him, Damon. Would YOU be able to live with that . . . after everything your brother sacrificed to save your life? Because, I couldn't."
Damon looked down at his dinner napkin, and noticed, to his chagrin, that he had ripped it to shreds, during the course of this conversation. Why did Elena always seem so wise, when it came to knowing exactly what to say to get under his skin, but so frustratingly naïve when it came to her own safety? "I know that, Elena. You think I don't know that time is of the essence? You think that it never occurred to me that whatever happens to Stefan from here on in will essentially be MY fault? All I'm saying is that we have to be SMART, here. We have to come up with some kind of plan, before we go barging into Klaus' lair, guns blazing. If I've learned ONE thing in this past year, it's THAT."
Elena nodded, as she absent-mindedly twirled the salt-shaker with her fingers. "OK. Then, what's your plan, Damon? What's your Big Smart Plan to save Stefan from Klaus?"
Damon smiled ruefully. Elena – 1, Damon – 0, he thought to himself. "Unfortunately, I haven't exactly figured that out yet."
"Well, you try and 'figure it out.' I'm going to use the ladies' room," Elena replied icily, trying to hide the sh*t-eating grin that was already forming at the corners of her mouth. Victory!
"Elena!" Damon called after her. "Don't be going to the bathroom to . . ."
But Elena had already disappeared behind the restroom door. " . . . share all your secrets with the overly perky bar wench," he concluded softly to himself.
Damon growled and pounded his fist against the table, causing the water glass in front of him to topple over, drenching his pants in cold liquid.
In a flash, Lafayette was out from behind the bar, with a dishtowel in his hand, as if he had been waiting for this moment, all his life. So, what if he was, technically, the short-order cook, and NOT the busboy? The way he saw it, life was all about seeing opportunities and grabbing for them. No pun intended. "Can I clean that up for you, sir?" Lafayette inquired, with a wink.
Damon instinctively shrunk back a bit in his seat. "No, that's OK," he said politely. "It's just water, right? It's not like anybody died . . . yet."
Lafayette nodded, looking a bit disappointed.
"However, you CAN get me two tall glasses of your strongest bourbon," Damon offered.
"Coming right up," answered Lafayette, as he rushed toward the bar.
Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Damon thought, as he placed his hands behind his head to make himself more comfortable. Something told him this was going to be a LOOOONG NIGHT.
7:45 p.m. – Fangtasia Bar and Nightclub
Since Klaus and Stefan had already had a large dinner, Eric Northman, ever the gracious host, offered his guests a scrumptious "dessert" of two curvaceous fangbangers, both dressed in matching red leather bustiers. "Dessert" gave the out-of-town vampires each impressively well-choreographed lap dances, while allowing their "clients" to occasionally take "nips" out of their neck, chest and inner thigh. Once the two self-proclaimed "Rippers" had their fill, however, the conversation at the table returned to business.
"I brought you a gift," Klaus offered, deftly removing a small velvet ring-sized box from his coat pocket, and passing it toward the Viking Vampire.
Eric looked dubiously at his friend's offering. "While I am flattered by your proposal, I must say, I can't marry you. My heart belongs to another blonde," he replied.
Klaus chuckled. "I don't wish to propose to you, Eric. I wish to offer you an amazing opportunity," he explained, as he opened the box, and removed the simple gold band from it. "As a member of the first vampire family, I have no need for trinkets such as these. However, I suspect this will be very valuable to you. Put on this ring, my friend, and you will no longer be a Prisoner of the Night. My gift will allow you to walk in the Sunlight, among men . . . and gods."
Eric removed the ring from its casing, and examined it carefully, clearly intrigued by its prospects. Klaus was probably the most ruthless vampire Eric knew. And yet, he was also unfailingly honest. Though the Original Vampire was not above using tricky wordplay to manipulate his enemies, Eric often found that the things he said were always 100% truthful.
Besides, Klaus had no reason to betray Eric. After all, he had obviously traveled this far to make a request so burdensome it could only be delivered in person. Clearly, such a "favor" would leave Klaus in Eric's debt for the considerable future. Why jeopardize that, by hurting him?
Still, Eric had questions. "How does it work . . . this Sunscreen Ring of yours? Is it somehow enchanted?"
Klaus smiled knowingly. When he had chosen to give Eric the ring, he knew that, inevitably, his friend would ask this particular question. He also knew that the Viking Vampire was not going to like his answer. "This ring was given its power by a friend of mine, now dearly departed."
Eric raised his eyebrows. "You mean a witch."
Klaus nodded. "Dear boy, you simply MUST get over your petty prejudices! It is a new world in which we live. The Inquisition has come and gone. We no longer have to live in fear of angry women in black flowing coats and pointy hats. These days, a witch can be the most powerful weapon you have in your arsenal, provided you know how to control her . . . or him."
Eric quickly returned the ring to its casing, and pushed the box back across the table to Klaus. "I don't mean to be ungracious, but I want no part in your dead witch's so-called gift. I am perfectly content with my life, as it is."
"Yours is an incomplete life . . . one spent sipping on synthetic swill masquerading as blood, and sleeping in the dirt, with the hogs, the rats, and the fetid decaying mortals," scoffed Klaus.
Klaus' words had clearly rattled Eric. However, the younger vampire refused to let his friend to know he had gotten the best of him. "You forget that, where I LIVE, vampires already HAVE the power to walk among men and gods, provided the moon is high, and the stars are shining above. We don't need to live in the shadows. Humans accept us as their brethren. And we don't need to sport fancy tans, or sleep above ground, for this to be so. I am a vampire. And I'm not ashamed of who I am, or how I live," Eric retorted.
Klaus began to clap slowly and patronizingly, causing Eric's fangs to emerge. "Bravo! An excellent speech . . . and yet so fundamentally short-sighted. You see, friend, no matter how many local governments you form, or vampire rights amendments you pass in your state . . . no matter how many times you bend to lick the boots of the living, they will NEVER EVER ACCEPT YOU AS ONE OF THEIR OWN."
"And no matter how many over-priced pieces of jewelry you wear, YOU will never pass for one of them," responded Eric, his face now inches away from Klaus. "They will always see you for exactly what you are, a pointy toothed imposter, with blood on his mouth."
Suddenly, both Eric and Klaus were laughing uproariously, as if the entire intense debate between them had been nothing but an extended inside joke. Of course, both Stefan and Pam knew better. "Ahh, Klaus . . ." began Eric congenially. "I could sit and debate the merits of various forms of vampirism with you, forever. But I know that is NOT the real reason you came here. So, why don't you tell me what exactly it is that you want?"
7:46 – Merlotte's Bar and Grill
By the time Elena had arrived in the ladies' room, Sookie was already there, fixing her ponytail in the mirror. "Now, let's see a picture of that Missing Boyfriend of yours," offered Sookie excitedly.
"But how did you . . ." Elena began, confused.
"Oh, I have my ways," interrupted the waitress.
Elena dubiously handed the picture over to her new friend.
"Oooh, he's cute," exclaimed Sookie. "Surely, I'd remember if I saw him. Unfortunately, I've got nothing. I wish I could be of more help to you." She concluded apologetically.
Elena looked deflated. "That's OK," she said politely. "But . . . if you could just keep an eye out. And, maybe, pass this picture along to your friends, I'd really appreciate it. I'll give you my cell phone number, so you can call me if you hear anything." She offered.
Sookie took the picture, and gently slid it into the pocket of her apron, as Elena programmed her own number into Sookie's cell phone, which was conveniently positioned on top of the sink.
"Of course, honey. I'd be glad to do it," Sookie readily agreed. "But . . . it's just that . . . nah . . . I shouldn't say anything."
Elena's eyes lit up. Maybe the waitress DID have information about Stefan, after all. "No! Say what you were going to say, please." She pleaded.
"Well . . . I couldn't help but notice that you and . . ."
"Damon," Elena piped in, trying, in vain, to hide her annoyance. (She knew exactly where this little chat was going.)
"Yeah . . . I couldn't help but notice that you and Damon seem to have something pretty serious going on between you two. And . . . well, I don't mean to pry, or anything . . . but . . . as someone who's been caught between two vampires before, let me tell you, you sure as heck BETTER figure out your feelings for Damon, before you go chasing after Stefan . . . because if you don't, all three of you will end up regretting it."
Elena ran her fingers through her hair nervously, and sighed. (Great! Even complete strangers can tell I'm starting to have feelings for, Damon. She thought to herself.) "No, Damon and I are . . . well . . . it's complicated," she sputtered, turning on the faucet at full blast, as a not-so-subtle indicator that this particular conversation was very much over.
"It always is, honey . . . It always is," Sookie replied, gently patting Elena on the shoulder, as she exited the bathroom.
As the door closed behind Sookie, a red-headed vampire, who looked about Elena's age, excitedly bounded out of one of the bathroom stalls. "Man, I thought she'd never leave! My name's Jessica," the vampire offered, holding her hand out for Elena to shake.
Elena looked from Jessica, to the bathroom stall from which she just emerged, dubiously, as she dried her own hands with a paper towel. Ick. She thought to herself.
Jessica laughed, seemingly reading her mind. "I promise you, I didn't actually pee, or make Number 2. I was just waiting in there, because I wanted to talk to you. And I knew that Judgy McJudgerson, out there, wasn't going to like what I had to say. "
Elena smiled to herself. Jessica reminded her so much of her friend Caroline, that she immediately felt as though she had known the teen vamp for years. She ultimately held out her hand for Jessica to shake. The latter took it gratefully, and shook it vigorously. "Is this your boyfriend?" Jessica asked, holding up her cell phone to show Elena a picture she had just received from her friend, via text message.
Upon seeing this picture, Elena became so excited, that she very nearly started jumping up and down, right there in the dirty bar bathroom. "YES! That's STEFAN! Do you know where he is?"
Jessica smiled mischievously at Elena. "Have you ever been to a real vampire bar?" The female vamp inquired.