... Potty mouth warning XD

And very OOC Captains. Like, extremely OOC. But... when you find out what's happening I hope you can forgive me =)

Thankee to reviewers and favoriters and story alerters and special thanks to Dranna123 who told me that Byakuya's glovey things are called tekkou. Thank you!

If I owned Bleach I'd be Tite Kubo. And If I were Tite Kubo, I'd look like Tite Kubo. And I am not a guy. Therefore I am not Tite Kubo and I don't own Bleach.

"This is… bad." Shunsui said. He was frowning, something that was unusual for him.

"No, really," Mayuri snapped. "You're a fucking genius Kyoraku."

Komamura growled at both of them.

"Can you please Shut Up!" Unohana snarled, glaring at all of them. Her comment went ignored.

"Fuck off Mayuri," Kenpachi sneered. "Nobody likes you."

"Go to hell Kenpachi!"

"I'm already there, asshole!"

"Who are you calling an asshole you ignorant lump of pure stupidity!" Mayuri retorted. Despite how bad the situation was, several of the captains watching laughed softly.

"Stupid? You think I'm stupid!" Kenpachi completely forgot about his sword and went to punch Mayuri. He missed, and the two of them began to try to beat each other senseless. Byakuya sighed, watching them. All of the Captains, except for Captain Yamamoto were gathered by the broken seal that covered a mass of barely contained spiritual energy. It was the cause of the recent explosions, and if they didn't do something soon, there would be an explosion so great that it wiped out the whole Soul Society. And of course, that would send the World of the Living into what the humans called an 'apocalypse'.

"It's not even 2012 yet!" Soi Fon moaned. "I don't want to die!"

"The hell's 2012?" Hitsugaya asked grumpily, ignoring the screams of 'idiotic lout' and 'fucking mutant bastard' that rang out from the fight going on behind them.

"The year the world's supposed to end." Soi Fon told him.

"Well, obviously that's just human stupidity!" Hitsugaya exclaimed.

"Well, yes." Soi Fon agreed, "But I still don't want to die!"

"Nobody does," Unohana grumbled, kicking at the ground. She looked over at Byakuya. "Do you have it?"

"No," was the sarcastic reply. "I'm just carrying this damn thing around for fun."

Ukitake intervened before another fight could begin. "Now, there's no time for fighting. Let's just attempt to solve the problem as best we can, alright?" he scowled, and spun to face Mayuri and Kenpachi. "Will you two shut the fuck up!" Startled, Mayuri and Kenpachi stopped arguing and stared at Ukitake. All of the other captains did too. "Thank you," Ukitake muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"I suppose we should start?" Hitsugaya suggested after an awkward pause. "You know… Just in case we manage to make any difference."

"Yeah… Cuz we're the only people who can stop the whole entire world from… well…" Soi Fon continued awkwardly.

"Going boom." Byakuya said flatly. There was a murmur of agreement from the other captains, well, everybody except for Komamura, who just growled again.

"Right. What the hell are we supposed to do? Anybody know?" Kyoraku asked.

"…" nobody said anything.

"Well this is just wonderful!" Mayuri exclaimed.

"Does this thing come with an instruction manual?" Unohana asked, examining it.

"If we survive this, I'm going to write one!" Hitsugaya said bluntly.

"So… we just… wing it?" Ukitake suggested.

"Brilliant. This is just fucking brilliant!" Mayuri snarled.

"Well, since you're the scientific genius around here, how about you give it a go?" Kenpachi snapped.

"Quit arguing!" Byakuya snarled.

"Grr!" Komamura agreed.

"Right… so, anyways. What does this little button here do?" Kyoraku asked.

"Don't press it!" all of the others chorused.

"Wait! I found instructions!" Unohana exclaimed. "Umm… this is going to be very confusing, but I think we can do it." She was lying on the ground with her head tilted at an odd angle, trying to read the bottom of the seal.

"So the world's not going to end after all?" Soi Fon asked.

"Maybe not." Hitsugaya replied.

"Alright. Here's what we do…" Unohana began calling out instructions, and the other captains hurried to obey her.

Sometime in the mid afternoon, the Vice Captains, and Yumichika and Ikkaku had gone out to some of the storage sheds for supplies. When they got back it was to some very confused looking officers staring at each other.

"What's up?" Rangiku asked cheerfully.

"Th-the Captains," a young unseated officer told her.

"They're in the Rec room," another chimed in. The rec room was what they had dubbed a large amount of empty space with absolutely no purpose. Some officers had been playing a game of tag there the night before.

"They're acting really strange!" the first continued. "Captain Komamura growled at me!"

"And me!"

"And me!"

"Join the club," Shuhei muttered. "I think he's growled at everyone today."

"Let's put this away and go see what's going on," Nanao suggested.

"Yeah." Momo agreed. "I wonder what's gotten into them."

When they reached the rec room, they were greeted with the strangest sight any of them had ever seen.

All of the captains were sprawled out on the ground. Some were sleeping, some were arguing bitterly with one another, and a few were just yelling 'Shut up!' at the top of their lungs.

"I hate you," Kenpachi informed Mayuri.

"I hate you more!"

"I hate you more than that!"

"I hate you more than that!"

"Well, I hate you ten thousand times more than that!"

"I hate you a hundred thousand times more than that!"

"I hate you-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Hitsugaya screamed.

"Komamura, get your foot out of my face!" Soi Fon snarled. "It smells bad." Komamura didn't seem to have regained the powers of speech yet, because he only growled at her, and didn't move.

"Ungh…" Byakuya groaned, covering his ears with his hands.

"I hate you a billion times more than that!" Mayuri screeched at Kenpachi, again.

"Please be quiet," Byakuya moaned. "Ow…"

"I hate you a million kajillion times more than that!" Kenpachi screamed at Mayuri. Byakuya groaned softly. Unohana opened her eyes to glare at them.

"And I hate you both! Shut your mouth before I shut it for you!"

"Yes ma'am…"

"Dammit…" Shunsui moaned. "This is the worst hangover ever."

"That's because it's not a hangover you idiot!" Hitsugaya screamed.

"Shut. Up." Byakuya growled, lifting his face from the ground. "I think my head's going to explode. And Ukitake is not as light as he looks. Trust me, my back's breaking."

"…" Ukitake was sound asleep, draped over Byakuya's back.

"I hate you," Byakuya informed him.

"Get your foot out of my face!" Soi Fon yelled again. "I mean it you bastard!"

"…" Komamura had also fallen asleep.

"I hate you infinity times more than that!" Mayuri snapped. "So there. Beat that!"

Kenpachi's only reply was to snore loudly. Mayuri let his head drop onto the ground.

"Yeah, I thought so…" he muttered sleepily, before passing out.

"Hey, Byakyuya… hey, hey," Unohana began, poking the other man. "Hey, wake up."

Silence. Byakuya was completely unconscious.

"Hey… hey…" Unohana followed suit, and soon she too was asleep.

The Vice Captain's stared at each other, and then back at their captains. For once, even Rangiku was speechless. After a while, Momo spoke up timidly.

"Perhaps we should just… leave them there and go make supper or something."

"Yeah," Izuru agreed.

"They'll probably be hungry when they wake up," Shuhei agreed.

"We're doing them a service, really." Isane agreed.

"So… Let's... just go."

"Rangiku, you're still not allowed to touch the food!" Shuhei snapped, striding towards the kitchen. "And neither are you Yachiru. I don't care what you think, chocolate covered eggs with green peppers and ice cream doesn't taste good!" Bickering softly among themselves, the Vice Captain's made their way towards the kitchen, and away from their captains.

Yeah... OOCness. I warned you.

Could somebody please tell me the difference between hits and visitors? I don't get it!

Review? Please?

-Stormy