One week left.
We began practicing on the stage, which was all set up for opening night.
The backdrop of the stone gates was in place, the chandeliers hung glistening and white from the ceiling, the lights dimmed away to next to nothing in the orchestra, where they stood with their various intruments, waiting for my signal.
My eyes, dark and cold, darted around the room, watching as everyone took their places. Lily pranced over to the stage and David bowed dramatically before taking her outstretched hands and helping her up. The White Swan and her Prince. They started whispering and giggling to each other, and I, sitting in the front row, felt my stomach cringe with embitterment. I shook my head slightly and stood, clapping my hands for attention.
"All right everyone," I said loudly.
My chest swelled as all eyes turned towards me. I clasped my hands together.
"We have one week until opening night," I began walking forward, making sure to stare at each and every person. "Now, you all have been doing marvelous," I stepped up onto the stage and turned in a slow circle. "But we need to make sure there will be no mistakes. One pebble out of place can cause a whole mountain to fall, yes?"
Heads bobbed. A few murmered agreeably.
"Okay," I nodded, turning my back to the stage. I inhailed deeply through my mouth before letting it ease out through my nostrils.
"Begin," I told the orchestra. I hopped down from the stage and the violins began to weep as the pianos drew closer and closer.
...
That night I drempt of a gorgeous white swan. I was sitting on a bench by a black lake, watching her as she floated on the water.
Though her body seemed frail, I could sense that there was great power within her.
She waved her glossy wings, beating them tirelessly against the water in an effort to fly. Yet... her body would not rise above the water. She raised her long neck and cried out in distress. I thought I should go help her, but in my dream I realized I could not swim. Then her thick, feathered body began slipping down into the dark water.
"No, wait!" I shouted, standing up and running to the water's edge.
The swan let out a horrible, gutteral moan, and she flapped her wings harder and harder so that feathers flew away from them like snow. The water pulled her still, and as her wings became engulfed in the blackness and she became unable to fight it, her head turned towards me.
Silently our eyes met. My heart froze in time and weightlessness swept over me, yet I could not move. The swan stared at me, her eyes so full of emotion they were almost human.
As she sank down into the depths, a twisting of shame clinched my stomach. I had to look away from her as her head slipped quietly beneath the water.
I opened my eyes to four short knocks on my front door. I laid there, disoriented and groggy from my dream.
I sat up in bed after the third round of knocking and looked at the time. It was almost two in the morning.
I shoved back the covers and stood, grabbing the pair of pants that I had tossed on the bed the day before, having been too lazy to put them away.
Flipping on lights as went, I stifled a yawn on the way to the front door, my rough bare feet scuffing lightly against the floor.
Four more knocks at the door.
I combed my hair back with my fingers and unlocked the door.
"Yes?" I asked shortly, jerking it open.
She was wearing blue jeans and a gray long-sleeved sweat-shirt that was too big for her, a black bag slung over her shoulder. Her hair was tucked back underneath a gray beanie hat. On her feet were ragged and torn ballet slippers. Her dark eyes raise to meet mine.
"Nina," my voice came out in a whisper.
She ducked her head and slid one foot backwards, as if planning to leave. I pushed the door open all the way and take a small step towards her, my heart trembling inside of me.
"Nina, why are-"
Suddenly she's in my arms, and for a moment I lost myself as my hands tucked around her back. Her chest was thin and bony; I felt her ribs distinctly as she pressed against me with desperation. Her bag thumped to the ground. Her arms squeezed into my bare back like ropes.
But she was warm. She was here. She was safe, now.
I closed my eyes and an unexpected tear fell from my eye and landed on her hat.
I held her for as long as she wanted to be held. It could have been seconds, it could have been minutes. It felt like I held her for an eternity, but when she pulled away at last it suddenly felt way too short.
She lowered her gaze and wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. I searched her face but to no avail. She didn't even appear upset.
"Nina..." I tried again. "Why ar-"
"Can I stay the night?" She asked suddenly.
Her question caught me off guard, but only for an instant.
"Of course," I inclined my head slightly. I stared into her eyes for answers, but her eyes were vacant; empty.
"You can take my bed," I told her easily. "I'll sleep on the couch. The bedroom's right through there..." My voice faded away as she snatched her bag from the floor and walked past me without another word.
I turned on my heel, watching quietly as she went down the hall and locked herself in my room.
I closed my mouth, wondering how long it had been hanging open, and shut the front door.