Beginning note: So, this is beyond lame, but I swear to you I cried writing part of this chapter. Not like sobbed or anything wussy like that, but my eyes teared a bit and one or two drops rolled down my cheeks. What I'm saying is you MIGHT want a tissue handy if you're a sap like me. If you're not, then don't bother. It affected me more, probably, because I was writing it and I'm really close to this story and these characters now. It does get less teary with every edit reading. Moving on:

When the Lights Go Out

Chapter 9

A Bridge with No Stars; A Door with No Heart

He watched for a long time. But it didn't feel like forever. He'd felt forever, and nothing else would feel the same. Nothing else could match that feeling. Because of that experience he sat with a patience others were impressed with and expected he would give up any day.

The idea he had of the spirit world fell flat. She couldn't call them into an alternate dimension without being there herself. She called them to her in Edolas, not away to Earthland for a reason. Some exceptions were made when they opened their own gates, but apparently that too was limited to their own realm.

With seemingly no way out they had given up. They spoke words of hope when they were in the range of his hearing. Told him that they were sure the two of them would come home soon, but their words were empty. The cat … Charle … she was the only one that might believe.

Even her two idiot partners were sure they lost her. The cried every once in a while – he never cried – but for them, she was gone. Even as he sat and waited and pretended to believe, they had given up. He never told them they were right. Never told them he was wrong.

He would sit until he died. Or until the hag came for him. If he believed in anything, he believed she would come. If she'd ever really wanted him, and it seemed to him at the time that she did.

So the old woman would come, and then he'd have the answers he needed. She'd bring the fake Wendy, that Howl, to fight him because he'd decided she couldn't on her own. Hallucinations. Fear. Brief blackouts. Those she could do. But she never attacked him directly. She used the girl for that. And the other he still would not put a name to.

He might know, but he didn't want to know. He decided to believe instead.

Mirajane brought him food. Lily provided him with company. He was surprised, but so did Happy and Lucy. Charle took watch with him any time she wasn't sleeping. Lily took watch when he was. It was the only way he'd sleep. If Lily was there. Lily was the one he trusted. Sometimes others sat with Lily who were too … scared? Nervous? To sit with him. The two idiots. (Who still occasionally cried. He still never cried. Just sat with his arms crossed and a glare that dared anyone to say shit to him.) Cana. Laki. Macao. Gray and Elfman. Sometimes Fried and Bixlow. He suspected that the enchanter was trying to access the door without him to interfere.

Master Makarov and Natsu would watch with either of them.

He knew all of their names. He no longer even pretended that he didn't.

Only Charle and Natsu seemed to actually watch. Everyone else was trying to help him in some way. Provide fucking comfort. Or keep him sane. Or some of both.

Natsu was hopelessly naïve, and the cat saw the girl as her sister. Her best friend.

Lily didn't believe either. He knew that because Lily was the only one with the balls to tell him to stop. To move on. But when he said no, Lily was also the only one to really stay with him. To do the job right. Because Lily was his best friend. And they both knew it.

It had been a month.

A month later and it was only him, Lily, and Charle watching. Fuck the rest of them. They told him that they'd stay if they could, but they had to do some work. They sometimes mouthed shitty untruths and platitudes. And at other times carefully berated him – gently – for giving up his life. For nothing more than hope.

The Master told him, in no uncertain terms, that he needed to start the process of moving on. And in a le – less … it was a safe word … it was okay … in a less direct way, that he had a job to do. That no one else could do it. And that he needed to get back to it before he wasted all the progress he had made before he was taken.

He responded in even more certain terms that the old man could fuck off. And fuck his stupid, creepy as shit son too. Someone else could do it, or he could just get the fuck of his high horse and have the bastard killed. It wasn't li … okay … like it would be the first time they'd worked to take down a dark guild. So Raven Tail was slightly bigger than some of the others. Who the fuck cared? It was run by an insecure cunt with daddy issues. Who was dumb enough to want to murder his only son for money, when that same son would be far more useful to him as an enemy against Fairy Tail.

Makarov didn't take that so well. But he also didn't lecture him a second time.

Lily took off every once in a while to take jobs. To keep him fed. He suspected that Happy and Charle helped and possibly donated money to the cause of keeping him alive while he slowly became an unmoving part of the chair and table.

Sort of like Cana was with that damn bar stool. Sometimes, late at night, she would start a one-sided conversation with him while in a mildly-drunken haze. It still managed to awe him that she could drink all day, only get the slightest bit tipsy, and then come back the next day, do the same thing, and never suffer a hangover. He wondered briefly if she used some sort of spell.

He felt that his life was one big hangover.

And the second month passed.

While those who had somehow managed to hang on to hope the last two months were now abandoning that hope every day, his hope only grew. He tried to explain it to the others, but they were either fucking stupid shits, or they thought he was crazy. Some of them were both.

And they might be right on the crazy part.

He only talked to Lily anymore.

And only Lily talked to him. Sat with him. Beside him. Sometimes in his lap, so that he could hold on to something, fucking anything, that wasn't as bitter as the lingering fear from the months before. It was hard to be afraid with Lily near him. Easier to have confidence.

Even Charle had given up.

But he knew something was going right. The hag hadn't come for him. She hadn't sent Wendy or Howl. Maybe … maybe before Le – she died, she managed to bind the bitch or kill her. Maybe that set Wendy free. Or maybe she had to kill Wendy too, but he was starting to think at the very least she had won.

There was also the bigger hope. The less likely hope. The hope he wanted more than he'd fucking wanted anything. Ever. That she was still fighting. That somehow she was keeping the hag so occupied that Wendy had to stay and fight her. Or, even better, fight with her. That the hag had to stay to keep her under some sort of control.

That she was alive.

Everyday his fugitive heart beat a little stronger. A little faster.

Maybe she was alive.

When the third month ended he was smiling. Grinning. And everyone in his guild feared him. No one but Mira and the Master, and Lily of course, dared to approach him.

He thought something he'd thought before. But this time it wasn't as physical as it was emotional. Again a fucking pansy thing to think, but it had gotten easier in the last few weeks. Thinking of nothing but her while trying not to think of her at all.

There was darkness.

Then there was light.

Then there was Levi.

She filled his lungs, his eyes, his ears.

He whispered her name as she fell from the air. The first time he'd been able to say it in over three months. The first time he'd let himself think it, as if her name were a jinx.

And maybe it was because from thin air he caught her.

And she was followed by a blinding white box of light.

He whispered again, and her face turned up. She didn't quite look at him. Her eyes were fully dilated. He knew she couldn't see. That she'd been in the dark for too long. So long. So goddamn long. That the light of the guild was too much to bear.

He put his hand over her eyes to help block some of the pain.

This time she said his name, and tears fell between his hand and her cheeks. "Did I make it? Am I home?"

It was the most important word he'd ever said. So he said it twice. "Yes. Yes."

"Thank you," and her body let go of every ounce of tension. She was limp against him, but not asleep. The box wrapped in symbols too bright to read, shook slightly. A sound rumbled through it, from it, that made his hackles rise.

People behind him. Unimportant shits, crowded around. Made too much noise. Dirtied the sound of her voice. Her breath. Her heartbeat. Sullied the smell of her life.

That they both ignored them. That they both pretended they were alone. Only that kept the bastards at bay.

"Is it Wendy?" he asked.

Her head made a small motion that he took to be a shake. "It's Howl … she's still Howl. I tried," a deep breath, "I tried to bring Wendy to the surface. To … to cast Howl from her. But I failed. I failed." He watched her as her lips trembled and and she licked them, trying to moisten the dryness and cracks. She looked like shit. Paler than ever. Hair in knots. Covered in huge, black bruises. Littered with small and large cuts.

But she was beautiful. She was alive.

"Fuck that," he told her, shaking his own head. "Fuck that. You got her here. You got her in the first place. When the barrier fell. Goddammit Levi," he choked on weight of months of fear as it exited his body. On the relief that took its place. "I thought you were dead. You told me it would only go down if you died."

Sounds of surprise and anger and other emotions surrounded them, yelled and gasped from unimportant mouths.

"What is life?" she asked rhetorically with a sad smile.

"She took you again."

"For a while, yes. But I got free." The smile was less sad. Less bitter. More proud. It looked good on her.

"How did you when Wendy...?"

"I'm not sure. I have theories," the smile was a little bolder, and he laughed. The sound and the feeling of the laughter was almost completely foreign to him. Of course she had theories. "She's younger, of course. Barriers aren't her forte. I'd already freed myself once. Though I had some help doing it the first time."

Her skin got paler as her breathing became less steady. He repeated words to her that he had said in the black. Months and fucking months ago.

"No. This time, I totally can't sleep. I have to hold her," and there was a touch of shadow on the box, and a flash of light. "She's fighting me."

"She still doin that storm wyrm thing?" Curious despite the fact that he really didn't care. They were both alive. The rest would get fixed eventually.

"Yes. Though not as often as she was before."

"Then Natsu and I will handle the dragon part. Maybe we'll find Luxus for the lightening. And keep Lily the hell away. He'd have a heart attack."

The exceed was standing next to him, he noticed. Finally. A paw reached up and touched his calf. "Lightening thing?" Then the box swirled again with bright and not bright and bright again, and Lily inched a little closer to him. It wasn't obvious maybe to the others, but he could tell. He could have put a hand on his head. Picked him up or something. But Lily didn't appreciate shit like that. He was a bit ashamed by his fear, and Gajeel wouldn't do anything to draw attention to it.

"I'll still help. I'm part of Fairy Tail, so I'll help, but," the paw pressed into him and Gajeel felt the prick of claws. "But is the thunder …"

Levi smiled, but didn't look down. Didn't look to him. Eyes still covered with his large hand. "It's not so much thunder as a tornado. Would that help."

"Yeah. I'll be fine." It was all bluster, Gajeel knew, but again he wouldn't say anything. Everyone had something they didn't like. He might make fun of others, but never of Lily.

Charle, one he also was okay noticing, was on his other side. Arms crossed. Eyes narrow. "That's Wendy? Why did you put her in a cage?"

"She's only half Wendy," Levi answered, eyes still behind his hand. Still looking at no one. Voice slightly stronger for hearing the two cats. More certain that she was home and not some sort of illution. "She is sort of possessed at the moment. And a bit … um ..."

"She's crazy as hell," he filled in, when she was unable to say what were probably distressing words.

There were mumbles from behind him about Gajeel holding things back and not telling the truth and blah blah blah. What did he care about a bunch of shits who basically forgot about all three of them?

"You can hold her. Can you fix her?"

"No," and Charle made some weak, angry sound. "But Polyushka might. And she's the only one, outside of maybe Wendy herself with her own power, who can fix the eye. And obviously Wendy isn't an option now."

"Her eye?" there were other voices besides Charle's that asked that question, but it was Charle he answered.

"She lost an eye."

"And Polyushka fixed Erza's before. I'm sure she could do the same for Wendy. And she might be able to remove Howl."

"Or we could just kill the hag," Gajeel rumbled. "Unless you got to it already?" He didn't let any hope color the question, but he thought it could be a possibility.

"I'm sorry. No. It was as much as I could do, getting Wendy, and then opening the door."

"I told you to stop saying sorry. It's a load of shit. You've already managed more than I did."

"No you didn't. I don't think you ever said 'stop saying sorry'." And this smile was wry. He had to return it even if she couldn't see.

"Well that's what I meant."

"I don't really care what you meant. And I'll keep saying sorry for things I am sorry about."

"Sometimes you say sorry for shit you're not sorry about."

"That's true. I'll probably keep saying those sorrys too."

Brief silence. Except for the breathing. He took a moment to be surprised that they were still the only ones talking. That no one had jumped in, outside of the cats and the mumbles. Not even her idiots. Not even Lucy.

He let out a sigh when he couldn't keep the more serious issues out of his mind and off of his tongue.

"So she'll come then."

"Yes." As if his statement had been a question.

"How long do we have?"

Levi reached up and put a hand over his. Tugged – weakly – and he dropped it at her unsaid request. Her eyes were not as dilated, but there was something else there. She looked at him. Looked away. Squinted. Looked at him again.

One of her eyes was bruised from the cheekbone to her hairline. He hadn't noticed before.

She curled her hands in his shirt and put her forehead to his chest. Breaths caught in several throats behind him, but they were easy to ignore.

"I want to hide this from you. To lie to you. But I won't," she said in a voice so quiet he could barely make out her words. Like the voice in his ear. Like the words she spoke against his lips. "Not like I did before. Though," she cocked her head up, and he saw the slightest twinkle of humor in her unbruised eye, "I was also right before. But this time, I won't lie. Because I don't want you to hate me -"

"Like there's anyway in hell that could happen."

"- and because … because I don't want to be taken again." She was trembling and trying not to show it. Trying not to show her obvious fear. He looked past her fear as easily as he looked past Lily's. He'd been in the darkness too. Seen the hag. He knew what she felt. "I especially don't want her to get Wendy back. And I think … I think in the end it has to be you that takes her. And I don't think she'll kill you. She would have no problem killing anyone else."

"You can-?"

"Yes." it was almost a hiss. "I know that place now. I can open a door. But only for a moment. A fraction of a second, do you understand? No one can go with you. Because they'll be used against you; they'll do to you what we did to you. What I did to you. Maybe worse. Lily can't go. No one can go. And also because I can't hold it longer than that. Not and keep Wendy bound too."

"Can you do it?" he pulled on her hair to tilt her head back and force her to look in his eyes. "Not should you do it, or you think you can do it, but can you do it and survive?"

"I can. I have to. No one else can hold Wendy, and I can't afford to let her go. She's too powerful."

"Then open the door, Levi. I've got a score to settle with that hell bitch. She owes me her life." He glanced at the box and looked back down. "She owes me three lives."

"If I can hold Wendy and the door, then you cannot die, and you will come back." The seriousness in her eyes made him smile one of his darker smiles.

"No problem. I'll take care of it. Might even be fun."

"Good," she said and pulled him down to kiss him, "because if you don't I'll find away to raise you from the dead and kill you a second time." She said the words against his lips, and he nodded.

"Wouldn't expect any less."

She stepped back, and he stepped back, arms crossed, balanced on his heels, stance wide. His grin got bigger and his teeth sharper. As if he didn't mind going back. As if he didn't give a shit that he was probably going to spend another bunch of months away from her. Or as if he didn't realize that his own bravado – and hers – hid the very real possibility that he would never come back.

She raised a hand and said, "Open."

A hole of darkness unfolded between him, and in his last half a second in the light, he was sorry he didn't get to see her for just a little longer.

Author's Note: So I didn't kill her. I kinda really wanted to. I wanted to see how her death would cause Gajeel to change. But then I decided her life would cause changes too. You'll notice more "L" words because he's less and less worried/concerned about anything except Levi. So I started putting them back in.

Also I kinda love this chapter. It lacks the horror of earlier chapters (except maybe the Wendy part, she's still a little scary), but it's a bit like the part in horror books and movies where the heroes gather their strength and courage to get away from whatever monster they're dealing with. Calm before the storm, as it were.

Right now I'm looking at maybe two more chapters, and I'm still not sure who will be alive at the end. So stay tuned and all that jazz!

Thanks again Anon reviewer and to those who turn off their PM. I appreciate your support!