Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.
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"You're nervous."
"Of course I am. Will they like me?"
"They will."
"Dr. Cullen didn't seem to like me much before."
"Call him Carlisle, and, yes, he did like you. He's just protective. Like Charlie."
"Okay." We walked into the house, and I could immediately hear the sound of music playing in the direction of the stairs. I didn't know where it was coming from, but I could guess; the other two "teenagers" didn't strike me as fans of classical music. "Does he do that a lot?"
"Enough," Jasper chuckled.
"What happened?" a female voice called softly as we made it into the living room.
"Alice pushed Edward too far."
"I'd say I was sorry, but I'm really not," I added. Looking around the room, I noticed everything was white, clean, beautifully decorated, and the wall of windows at the back of the room made the house feel like a part of nature. I felt free. It was completely different than Charlie's where I felt enclosed, trapped by the painted walls of the past.
"You're Alice," a woman said making me turn my attention to the person instead of the objects.
"My reputation precedes me," I smiled.
The woman with caramel brown hair and a natural beauty walked up to me, and I held out my hand to shake hers. She smiled at me before brushing past my hand and giving me a hug. A little startled, I wrapped my free hand around her to hug her back. "I'm Esme," she said after pulling away. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too." Jasper chuckled again and squeezed my hand. I pressed my lips together trying to look angry as my eyes shot up at his direction. "Just remember this when you meet Charlie." He stopped and straightened up. This time, it was Esme's turn to laugh.
"Hello, Alice." Behind Esme stood the blond doctor, who looked too young to have teenage children, adopted or not, and what little nervousness left me in that short time came back tenfold.
"Hello, D- Carlisle. How are you?" I asked.
"I am good, thank you. And you?"
"Nervous, despite Jasper's best efforts."
"Then he must be slipping," he smiled, exchanging a glance at Jasper.
"I-I want to say something," I said, gathering courage I hoped was my own. Carlisle and Esme nodded for me to go on. "I'm going to be with Jasper. For a long time. I don't need your blessings, but it would be nice to know someone thinks this is an okay idea and that we aren't ruining our lives." I glanced up at Jasper and delicately smiled. "I knew I was going to meet someone special. I just didn't realize how special. You can tell how different he is now than he was before I came," I continued, looking back at his parents. "How can my presence be all that bad?"
"I understand, but be careful," said Esme while Carlisle's arm snaked under her hair to sit lightly on her shoulders. Seeing their display of affection made me wonder how long the two of them had been together and if they knew they would love each other just as much or even more than that first meeting. It also made me wonder the same thing about Jasper and me.
"And think about your decisions before acting on them," agreed Carlisle.
I danced closer to the doctor to kiss him on the cheek all the while keeping my hand in Jasper's. Carlisle had to lean forward, allowing me to complete the task. "Thank you." I turned around, not feeling nervous to be around them anymore. "Show me your room, Jasper?"
We left the married couple and made our way up the stairs and a couple of small steps to the first door on the left. It was a good sized room, with a big, comfortable looking light green chair with a matching ottoman in the left corner in the opposite side of the room. Behind the chair, the tall windows showed the grounds in front of the house along with the woods behind it. The left wall was one large bookshelf full of books, most about history. Out of those, most of them were about the Civil War, but there was still a large quantity about other wars and battles the United States had been in. The right side of the wall held a small stereo along with CDs and various pictures and a flat screen TV next to a small writing desk with a black laptop and a notebook sitting on top.
"Like history?" I asked, stepping up to the massive bookshelf without Jasper to read some of the titles.
"I am history."
I tilted my head to the side. "Tell me about it?" I walked to the middle of the room and sat down. I motioned for Jasper to join, but he stayed near the door. "Please? You already know my story, so it's only fair I get to know yours."
At that, he sighed and closed the door. He didn't come near me; he sat in front of the dark wooden door. "I was born in 1843. My early life isn't exciting, but I grew up to respect my elders and love my country. However, loving my country meant loving the south. I was a part of the Confederate Army during the Civil War and believed wholeheartedly I was on the right side. I was good at my job, but it didn't hurt that our side was quickly losing people. I rose to the rank of Major. Major Jasper Whitlock.
"It was 1863 when I was turned. Her name was Maria and she was creating an army of her own. I won't bore you with the politics, but I will tell you she and I killed the other two vampires who also held the power of that coven. I helped her become the undisputed leader and I became her commander. My job was to train newborn vampires to be fighters for her army."
Jasper looked at me for the first time since starting his story, and I crawled closer. "I started to hate it, especially killing the newborns that couldn't cut it. After…I became depressed. I followed the lead of a couple of vampires I befriended and left.
"I lived off human blood since I was born, and continued to do so until I ran into that same couple, Peter and Charlotte, who told me about a vegetarian coven, a coven who lived off the blood of animals instead of people. I knew I needed a change, but it took a few years before I convinced myself to find them. It was the fifties when I finally arrived at the Cullen's and they welcomed me before I could finish telling them who I was."
I knew he was leaving out the horrible parts for me, and I was glad. I wanted to know all about him, but I didn't know if I could handle everything at once. Even with portions missing, his past was a tough one to listen to. I felt sad, sorry, and horrified that he had to go through that. It also broke my heart to know he went through it mostly alone. I knew this story meant I should be scared of him, but I couldn't be. Not when he stared at me like his whole spirit was being ripped apart.
"I'm sorry," I simply said as I rested my hands on the knees he kept in front of him.
He took one hand out and played with a little piece of my short black hair. "Don't be. I feel hopeful for the first time since I left Maria, and it's all your doing."
"Then, I'm sorry I took so long." I pushed myself forward using his knees and kissed him without any hesitation.
"You're crying."
"It's your fault."
He kissed my cheek where the rogue tear fell. He then moved back to my lips. I could feel a rush of different emotions as he slowly and softly pushed me back onto the floor. He held himself above me as if he was afraid he would crush me if he got too close, his lips turning away from mine to trace my jaw line. Then he abruptly stopped. I placed my hands on the sides of his face and kissed his forehead. "You are sweet, but you don't have to try so hard. Just being near is fine." I grinned and my right hand tapped the floor next to me, and he moved there.
"I want to show you something."
"What?"
"You'll see."
When I arrived home, the night had already settled in. I had enough time to grab a snack and work on a little homework before going to bed. I tried to prolong seeing my sister as long as possible, but once my eyes started closing on their own, I knew I had to face the music. Luckily, I didn't need to talk since she didn't talk to me. The words wouldn't have come anyway. If they did, they most likely would have come out loud and crude.
The next day wasn't any better. I had one way of getting to school and that was Bella. Thankfully, she didn't leave me behind, but the ride was full of quiet tension, and I wished I would have just asked Jasper to pick me up. I sat with Jasper at the Cullen table at lunch and tried not to look back at my sister. Edward snuck a few peeks at Bella, but I couldn't be sure if it was because of my thoughts or his. I hoped it was his.
Most of the week went like this. Until Friday. As soon as I woke up, I knew the sun was going to be the most prominent feature of the day. This meant the Cullens were not going to be at school. It was obvious they weren't going to melt if the sunlight touched them, but I couldn't imagine what took its place. Most of the day, I kept to myself. Just before lunch, I received a text message from Jasper that told me to meet him at the forest edge. I sent one back asking where. He let me know it didn't matter; he'd find me easily enough.
I waited for Bella by the cafeteria to tell her in passing I wouldn't be going home with her. It was the first words I said to her all week which surprised her. She didn't ask why, only nodded, and didn't stay to keep the conversation going.
It was surprisingly easy to sneak my way out to the forest, but I didn't question it. If I kept my mind on it for too long, I would jinx myself. I backed into the forest a few yards to make sure no one could see me or Jasper even though I knew once I passed the first line of trees I was gone from sight. Finding a log, I sat down and waited for Jasper to present himself. When he didn't immediately show up, I closed my eyes and let the light breeze play with the spiky ends of my hair. I took a deep breath through my nose and smelled the slightly damp forest floor where the sun tried hard to shine but failed because of the thick, green canopy above.
"You shouldn't let your guard down."
I popped my eyes open and screamed. It came out as a short screech more than anything else, and I was grateful for that since I wasn't that far from school property. Seeing a face in front of me that looked as though it just ate something completely revolting also helped the half scream, half screech stop.d. Standing up and catching my heart to put it back in my chest with my left hand, I lifted my right and swung to the face in front of me. It all happened too fast for my brain to make me realize what I was doing. The hand made contact with a hard, cold surface that wouldn't budge. My anger was quickly replaced by a sharp pain. I screamed an obscenity or two and pulled my hand back to cradle it for a moment before trying to flex the sting away.
"Don't sneak up on me like that, Jasper," I scolded. "And don't ever let me hit you again."
He solemnly nodded once, but could see a little bit of playfulness in his eyes. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," I answered, trying to forget about my hand. "Where are we going?"
He turned around. "Get on."
"On what?"
"Me."
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "Huh?" He looked over his shoulder at me and laughed. "Shut up. You have no right to laugh at me."
"I could always leave…" He let his teasing voice fade off as I growled at his bad joke.
"Fine," I pouted with a half smile. I stepped gracefully on the log behind me with my right foot as I grabbed his shoulder with the left arm. I easily brought the rest of my body into position on Jasper's back with my arms around his neck. "Where are we going?"
He placed his hands under my thighs. "Home."
I didn't get to say anything else as Jasper's take off stole my breath away. The breeze was nothing compared to the wind from speeding through trees. I closed my eyes and a smile grew on my lips. "Amazing," I exhaled. The whole experience – the wind, the fast moving scenery, the flashes of different smells, and the hitches in my stomach every time he turned – felt wonderful and exhilarating. I imagined this was what it felt like to sit on top of a train. My hands itched to move away from his chest and let go, but my protector thought better of it and placed one hand over them.
"Close your eyes," he said when I felt the world start to slow down.
"Okay." I could feel the sun start to warm my face again.
When he stopped, he helped my feet touch the ground. His hands stayed on my arms until he knew I was steady enough. "There is something I want to show you. It's important and-"
"Jasper, what is it?" I asked, talking to the fading voice.
"The sun, it calls attention to us."
"Yeah?"
"Open your eyes."
I obeyed him. He stood close but not close enough to touch. And I wanted to. The buttoned down long sleeved cranberry dress shirt was off and I completely understood why he was never going to take a dip in the community pool during summer break: his skin sparkled like millions of tiny diamonds. I couldn't look away. I wanted to let him know how beautiful he looked, but I didn't know if he resented his special skin. In fact, I couldn't tell in the short time of being close to him if he resented any of his vampire characteristics. My hand moved away from my body as I took a step to close the gap. With this movement, the sunlight hit his body just right, brightening it to allow me to see something else on the upper part of his chest near his shoulder. I wasn't sure what I saw, but my hand traced the area. His hand swung up to stop me and my head jerked up. He must have thought he scared me, because his head turned away, ashamed at his reaction.
"I'm sorry. I just thought…" I didn't finish because I didn't know how to.
"It's a scar made by a newborn I trained. I have many, but human eyes can't pick them up. I'm quite surprised you saw this one."
"I've been told I have good eyes," I smiled, trying not to think about another vampire hurting him enough to leave scars.
He smiled back until something flashed across his features. Was it the resentment I didn't know I had been looking for? I couldn't tell, and, honestly, I didn't want to focus on it. Jasper let go of my hand to pull his shirt back on.
"Will I do that to you?"
It took him a moment to answer the loaded question. "No. We should go inside."
"Why do we have to go inside?" He didn't answer, and all I did was follow obediently behind him into the house. Once inside, we stopped in the open room just past the stairs. I couldn't stay silent anymore. "Why?"
He turned around and leaned in close. "Because no one wants to become one of us."
"Don't you want to be with me?"
"I do."
I momentarily looked away and saw Rosalie on the white couch, her back toward me. Emmett was next to her on a large chair covered in the same white fabric reading a magazine. Without shades on the wall of windows, their skin shined as brilliantly as Jaspers did. I immediately felt sorry for ruining their silence in the sun. "Then why won't you do it?"
"Because you aren't thinking about what it'll mean."
"Yes I am. It means you don't have to worry about me. You don't have to stand at arms length on days I'm too much for you. And I don't have to worry about hurting my hand when I slap you." My defiant shoulders folded in and my head dropped. "Not that I'll slap you again in the future. I am sorry about that, but you did scare me. Not that it should be your fault. But," I took a deep breath and ignored the snickering in the background, "how can I be with you if I can't get close?"
"What about your father? Your mother? Bella?"
I lifted my head but didn't look directly at Jasper. "I can make phone calls and send emails to my mom. My dad will get phone calls because I will be at college. He won't expect to see me often. Maybe one day…" I let my voice trail off as I tried to think of how to explain Bella. "Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. Bella is going to follow. If she asks me, I'm not going to tell her no. I'm hoping it will happen differently, but I'm not that good at predicting the future."
"Would you please excuse me?"
"What?" I looked up at his face. He wasn't looking at me. "Yeah."
"I will be back. Please make yourself at home." He walked past me. It was slow for him, but it still left me alone faster than I wanted to be. I heard a door close upstairs, and turned to sit on the bottom step.
"Carlisle is the only one who's changed someone," said Rosalie from her position on the couch. "It's not easy to stop yourself from killing the other person."
"Yeah. But it's not easy for him to be around me," I said, not raising my voice since I knew they didn't need the volume to hear me.
"Why don't you have Carlisle do it?" Emmett asked from behind his magazine.
"Because Jasper needs to do it."
"Why?" he asked again.
"Because." I left him hanging because I didn't know how to explain. Jasper needed to do this. He needed to know he could, that he was stronger than he let himself think he was. There was another reason also, I could feel it. I didn't know what it meant, but I was sure to figure it out sooner or later.
Emmett snorted a laugh. "That's not an answer, shrimp."
"Well, that's all you're going to get."