I can't express my thanks enough for the awesome reviews on the first chapter. I love my SIYT Dave and Kurt so much, and to know that so many of you do too is just…really frickin' amazing.
In this chapter, I'd like to point out the caveat that I've never personally had to use fertility services, though I've done a fair amount of research on it. So I hope very much that I got it at least in the neighborhood of accuracy on the subject. This chapter is a bit more serious, but I promise that happier times loom ahead!
Kurt walked out of his office into the lobby of Sheer Elegance, looking around at the organized confusion and taking a moment to savor it. The phone was ringing off the hook, there were a small group of women waiting for their appointment, and he could hear Darlene laughing with a client from inside her office. A busy business was a profitable one, and in the last few years things had really been booming. Promoting Darlene from receptionist to coordinator had been the first step in growing his company by leaps and bounds. Kurt had never realized that by failing to delegate, he'd been limiting the potential of Sheer Elegance. So in addition to Darlene, he now employed Justin Nicholson, a videographer who had struggled on his own but flourished under Kurt's direction. It was Kurt's vision to add, in the future, a photographer, a florist and a caterer; so Sheer Elegance would not only coordinate wedding services, but provide many of them directly. Kurt had also used his eye for fashion to custom design wedding dresses for two recent brides, who insisted upon having the one and only version of their wedding dress. So he had a feeling that a part-time seamstress might be on the horizon too. He knew it would have to be done slowly, but eventually he'd make it happen by surrounding himself with other talented and dedicated professionals.
"Sheer Elegance Event Planning. It's Your Dream Wedding...and We Do! This is Stacy, how may I help you?"
Kurt smiled at the happy, bubbly greeting of their receptionist, Stacy Evans. Two years ago, on a trip back to Lima, Kurt and Dave had run into their old schoolmate Sam having coffee with his sister. They'd all decided to share a table, and over the course of the conversation Stacy had mentioned how exciting it must be to live in Chicago, and how she'd always dreamed of living in a bigger city. There hadn't been any money for her to go to college, but she was currently answering phones at a local insurance company and doing quite well at it. Stacy and Kurt had struck up an online friendship on Facebook, and within months he'd offered her the chance to work for him. No one had been able to truly replace Darlene, and he was tired of the endless revolving door of receptionists who simply couldn't handle the stress of hysterical brides and flaky vendors. But Stacy had been a winner from day one, and Kurt thanked his lucky stars nearly every day that he'd brought her on board.
Kurt walked over to the women waiting on the couch. "Good afternoon, ladies," he said, focusing on the twenty-something redhead with the enormous engagement ring. "I'm Kurt Hummel, the owner. Darlene is running just a little bit behind with her last client; can I offer you all some coffee, or tea?"
"Well, to be honest, Mr. Hummel," the redhead responded, "I was really hoping that we'd be meeting with you personally. Since your assistant's otherwise occupied, maybe you could help us?"
From behind him, he heard Darlene's voice saying, "Of course, we'll make sure everything is just perfect. It's what we do here."
"Actually, it sounds like she's just about ready for you," Kurt said. "And unfortunately, I'm on my way out for another meeting. But Darlene will take fabulous care of you, I promise." At the bride-to-be's frown of disappointment, he continued. "Even though I don't do all the consults personally, I promise you that I'll be handling many of the details of your special day," he said, mollifyingly. "Darlene and I work together on all of the events; there's nothing that happens without my approval." He smiled reassuringly, and was happy to see their client's frown melt away under his charm.
Darlene, clad in a black pantsuit and sensible flats, escorted her client to the front door and turned to look at Kurt and the women on the couch. "Cyndra Bennett?" she asked, and the redhead nodded, a little wide-eyed at the vibrant yellow stripe in Darlene's cropped black hair. Or maybe it was the nose ring, who knew? "Wow, you are just gorgeous! With that skin and hair, it's going to be a real treat exploring possible color schemes with you. Have you ever thought about turquoise? It would really bring out your eyes." Kurt grinned as he watched Cyndra's hesitation fade and she began to preen under the compliments. God only knew how the ex-bassist of one of Chicago's most butch lesbian bands had turned out to be the soul of diplomacy when it came to touchy brides; but he was, as always, grateful that she had.
"You girls have fun," he said breezily. He turned to the reception desk. "Stacy, I'm off to that meeting with Dave. I'll probably be gone a couple of hours. My cell will probably be off for most of it, but I know you and Darlene can handle anything that comes up."
"Of course, Kurt," said Stacy. Her facial expression softened. "Good luck. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for both of you."
"Thanks, honey," Kurt said. "I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous. Do I look nervous?" he said.
"No," Stacy replied. "You look perfectly fine. Try not to worry so much; I'm sure it'll go great."
Kurt wished he was nearly as confident. Twenty minutes later, he walked into Highland Park IVF Center, to see Dave flipping though a magazine in a comfortable looking chair. He went over and sat next to him, reaching automatically for his husband's hand. "Have you been waiting long?" he asked.
"Nope," Dave responded. "Got here about ten minutes ago myself." He squeezed Kurt's hand. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine. I just-"
"Mr. Karofsky? Mr. Hummel?"
They both looked up to see a dark-haired woman smiling warmly at them. "I'm Ilynne McGovern, the IVF Nurse Coordinator. Won't you come this way?" she asked, gesturing towards the doorway. They followed her down the hall to a cozy office, where a bulletin board of colorful birth announcements and baby pictures took up part of the entire left wall. He and Dave sat down, and Kurt rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants.
"Welcome to Highland Park IVF," Ilynne said. "We'll be covering quite a bit, but please know that if you have any questions, you can interrupt at any time. And there's no such thing as a silly question, or a stupid one. Is this your first time at a fertility clinic?
"Yes," answered Dave. "Kurt and I have been married for four years, together for about six. We really want to have a family, and your website said you specialized in working with LGBT couples."
"We do," she affirmed. "Regardless of marital status or sexual orientation, our program is specifically designed to help explore all options available. The gift of creating a family, to share the joy of conception and pregnancy as a couple, that's what we do here, for all our clients."
"So in general," said Dave, "how does it work?"
"There are multiple options, she said. "Since you're both men, obviously neither of you can carry the baby, so you'll need a surrogate. The surrogate often provides the maternal genetic material, and we do intrauterine insemination, where sperm is injected directly into the uterus. One of you would provide a semen sample, and the surrogate would be inseminated with it. But some couples choose to select a separate egg donor, and then we use in vitro fertilization to mix the eggs and sperm in the lab. Some of the resulting embryos are implanted in the surrogate soon after, and any additional ones are cryogenically stored in our facility for later use."
"Later use?" asked Kurt, a little dazed.
"In case the first cycle of in vitro doesn't work. Or if it does, and later on you want to try for another pregnancy," Ilynne explained.
"We can match you with a surrogate, of course. And an egg donor, if you go that route. Some of our couples use friends or family members for both or either, but we know not everyone has that option. We'll also do a semen analysis on both of you, to determine which of you would be most fertile. Unless you have a pre-existing preference for one of you to be the genetic father?"
Dave and Kurt looked at her rather blankly, and shook their heads. They'd never even thought about it.
"Whoever donates the semen will legally be the baby's biological father. The surrogate will sign away her legal rights as the baby's mother, and then the non-genetic partner will adopt the baby. At that point you'll both be the baby's legal parents."
"Wait," said Kurt. "The surrogate would legally be our baby's parent? At least, right after the birth?"
"Yes."
Kurt felt heat creep up the back of his neck. "Could she change her mind? Decide she didn't want to give the baby to us?" he asked.
"I won't tell you it's never happened," said Ilynne seriously. "But in our practice, it's incredibly rare. In the past twenty-five years, it's only happened a handful of times. Our surrogates are very carefully screened, and are as passionate about giving the gift of a family to couples as we are. But legally, it is the surrogate's right to refuse to surrender her parental rights. In that case, you would need to file for custody. But as I said," she soothed, noting Kurt's pale face," it's an almost non-existent occurrence for us.
Dave shifted his chair a little closer to Kurt's, and put his arm around him. "It's okay, babe," he murmured softly. "This is just the first appointment. We're just talking. Don't get so far ahead of yourself, okay?"
"I know this is a lot to take in, Mr. Hummel," said Ilynne. "No one is expecting you to make any decisions today. I just want to give you all the information I can, so that you and Mr. Karofsky can decide what to do, whenever or if ever you decide to do it."
"Sorry," said Kurt. "It's just a little overwhelming. More so than I expected."
"I understand completely." She paused for a moment, and then asked, "Are there any questions that you have for me?"
Dave took a deep breath. "I know it depends on how we decide to do it. But can you give us a ballpark figure on how much this will all cost?"
"The surrogacy is the most expensive part," Ilynne said. "Which is understandable. This woman will be risking her health, and giving up about a year of her life to bring your child into this world. She won't be allowed to smoke, or drink, or engage in any risky behavior. If she's married, which most of our surrogates are, she won't be able to have sex with her husband for the entire conception process. If there are issues with the pregnancy, she may not be able to have sex with him for some or all of the entire pregnancy. Or to lift up or care for her own existing children. For these reasons, and a host of others, she needs to be fairly compensated. Our surrogates are paid a one-time fee of thirty thousand dollars."
Kurt and Dave's eyes both went wide at the figure, though it wasn't entirely unexpected.
"The intrauterine insemination runs about a thousand dollars for each cycle with all of the lab work and appointments. If you use an egg donor, the fee is five thousand dollars. The in vitro fertilization is twelve thousand per cycle. And the cost to store any unused embryos is fifty dollars a month. And of course, there's the legal fees for the surrogacy arrangements, and adoption process as well. We tell most of our gay male clients to expect a total cost around seventy-five thousand dollars, if you're able to have a successful live birth from the first try."
"And the chances of that are…?" asked Kurt
"Intrauterine insemination is a little better than twenty percent for the first cycle, but it usually takes an average of three cycles. Our success rate with in vitro is one of the highest in the entire state of Illinois – fifty-five percent."
"Just over half?" said Kurt, astonished. He didn't know why, but he'd thought it would be much higher.
"Yes. I understand that you might wish it to be more, but really, fifty-five percent is an extremely high success rate for a fertility clinic. We're very proud of it."
"As you should be, I'm sure," said Dave. He could sense how upset Kurt was, even though he was trying not to show it. Ilynne was looking at them sympathetically.
"I'll give you our packet of information to take home with you. Take some time, all the time you need, and just let us know if you want to move forward. It usually takes two to three months to set you up with a surrogate, or an egg donor, just so you know."
They took the packet and left, Kurt silent other than mumbling a brief goodbye as they walked out. "You took the Metra, right Kurt?" asked Dave.
"Yeah," Kurt said tonelessly. "Why?"
"I wanted to know if we both had cars here, but obviously we don't" Dave said. "Look, I don't think you should go back to work. You're obviously upset. Let's just go home and chill for the rest of the day." He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and gathered him into a comforting embrace.
Kurt's breath hitched. He had consults at three and four, plus his usual end of day recap with Darlene. Justin was supposed to stop over with the DVDs from three different weddings to be mailed out, and Kurt was so far behind on his emails it was ridiculous. He couldn't afford to just blow off the afternoon. But as his breath caught in a near-sob once more, he realized that his office was the last place on Earth he wanted to be. He broke away from Dave, sniffing and nodding his head.
"Let me call for you," said Dave, gently guiding Kurt to their car. They got in, and Kurt dimly heard Dave talking to Stacy, telling her that everything was fine, but Kurt would be taking the rest of the day off after all. They drove back to their house in silence, both lost in thought.
When they got there, Kurt disappeared into the bedroom. Dave scrubbed his hands over his eyes, wishing he knew what was going through his husband's mind. Kurt had been so nervous and excited about the appointment, and for weeks they'd talked joyfully about their plans for bringing a baby into their lives. The reality check at the clinic had certainly deflated his enthusiasm a bit, but Kurt seemed almost depressed by it. They'd been so lucky up until now, Dave knew. There'd been hardly any rough patches in their marriage, any hurdles to overcome. Kurt wasn't used to having to deal with this kind of hurt and disappointment, and it was definitely tearing him up inside. When Kurt didn't come out of the bedroom after fifteen minutes or so, Dave decided to check on him.
Knocking softly, he eased open their bedroom door. "Kurt?" he said softly. There was no response, so he ventured in. He found that Kurt had changed into soft yoga pants and one of Dave's tee shirts, and was curled up on the bed miserably. Dave's heart broke to see how sad he was, and went over to the bed to stroke his hair. "Babe, you okay?"
Kurt's lips pressed together, and Dave could see he was fighting tears. "It's…" Kurt started, but his voice broke.
"What, Kurt?" Dave asked. "Talk to me, baby. I love you, and I can't stand to see you hurting like this."
"It's…it's not fair, Dave!" Kurt suddenly shouted, sitting up and startling him. "Why is this so hard? It shouldn't be so hard for us to have a baby." He got up off the bed and started to pace. "We love each other. We're going to be together forever. We both have good jobs, a nice house. Families who love and support us." Dave reached for him, but Kurt backed away, steadily building from sad to angry. "Jesus Christ, everywhere you look, there's stupid people getting knocked up. They've got that dumb fucking show on MTV about it, even! People living in their parent's basement with two, three kids and no job! They just open up their fucking legs, and boom - instant parents!"
Dave felt tears sting his own eyes, as he watched Kurt storm around the room, crying. He knew the best course of action was to just let Kurt rant it out, but it was difficult.
"They don't even realize how lucky they are, to be able to have a baby just like that. But instead of appreciating it, they waste it! It's totally fucking unfair, and I hate them for it!" Kurt turned and kicked the dresser with his bare foot. The resulting pain caused another flood of tears, and he collapsed to the floor. "Fuck!" he cried, wretchedly.
Dave was kneeling in front of Kurt instantly, surrounding him with his arms and pressing his head against his chest. Kurt fought the comfort at first, trying to hold onto his anger, but in moments the arms pushing Dave away went limp. They just sat on the floor, both of them crying, while Dave managed to choke out some soothing shushing noises from time to time. Eventually, they both ran out of tears, and Dave felt Kurt take a deep, sniffling breath. He pulled Kurt away from his chest gently, thumbs wiping at the tear tracks on his soft, pale cheeks.
Kurt felt his chest tighten as he looked into Dave's eyes. The emotion in them; the love, and the empathy, and the shared sadness was incredible. It would have set him off sobbing again if he'd had any tears left. He looked at Dave's shirt, which was wet with his tears and snot. "I'm sorry," he said.
"What for?" asked Dave, clearly puzzled.
"For falling apart like that," he responded. "I didn't mean to be such a drama queen about it all."
"Kurt," said Dave, in a very serious tone. "You can most definitely be a drama queen from time to time. This was not one of those times, so don't even think that. You're entitled to be upset about what happened at the clinic. It wasn't exactly a day at Disneyland for me either. So I get it."
"I don't know what I thought was going to happen," Kurt said. "We talked about how it would be complicated, and expensive. It wasn't like I walked in there thinking that we'd leave an hour later with a stroller, or anything. But it was just…"
"Disappointing," said Dave, and Kurt nodded. "I know. It's one thing to talk in generalities about how difficult this was going to be. But it's another to sit there, and have someone lay it all out for you, about what an uphill battle it's going to be. "
"Do you think we should still do it?" said Kurt, not meeting Dave's eyes.
"Honestly, Kurt? I'm not sure. But I am sure that we need a breather before we talk about it." He cupped Kurt's cheek. "We should do something to take our mind off it for a little bit, so we don't wallow. It's a little early for dinner. You want to watch a movie on Netflix or something?"
Kurt turned his head to kiss the inside of Dave's hand. "Not really, no," he said. He rubbed his cheek against Dave's big hand, like a kitten. "What I really want to do is be close to you, right now. And I'm so tired. Can we take a nap, maybe?"
"Of course," said Dave, standing up. He tugged on Kurt's hands gently, bringing him to his feet. They walked over to the bed, and Dave shed all of his clothes except for his boxers. Kurt slipped off his yoga pants, climbing into bed clad in nothing but Dave's enormous shirt. They turned so that Dave spooned Kurt from behind, his arms coming around him and holding him. Kurt made a sighing little noise, the first happy sound Dave had heard from him since he'd left for work that morning. He pressed a kiss to the nape of Kurt's neck, inhaling the familiar and sweet scent of his hair products.
"Mmmm…" murmured Kurt. "That's nice." He snuggled down into the mattress, curling his legs and brushing his ass against Dave's crotch in the process.
"Kurt…" said Dave, warningly. "I thought you wanted to take a nap."
"What?" responded Kurt, trying to sound innocent. He bumped up against Dave again for good measure. "I'm just trying to get comfortable."
"Sure you are," said Dave, and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice. He could also feel Dave beginning to stir, his cock firming up into a hard ridge against the cheeks of Kurt's rear. He felt an answering tingle in his own nether regions.
Kurt turned to face Dave, brushing the bare skin of his dick against the fabric of Dave's underwear. He'd shucked off his own along with his pants. "I am," he insisted. "This, for example…very comfortable." He dipped his head to kiss the base of Dave's throat.
"If I'm not mistaken, you're not feeling very sleepy anymore, are you?" Dave asked.
"I think I might be perking up a little," Kurt said, looking back up with a smile. "This afternoon kind of sucked, Dave. I meant it when I said I wanted to be close to you. I want to make love with you, remind us both about how good we are together. How we have the kind of love that will see us through anything, no matter how tough it is."
Dave leaned down and kissed Kurt's nose. "It's hard to say no to that. I love you, Kurt."
"And I love you. Now roll over, so I can show you how much." He pushed at Dave's broad shoulders, rolling on top of him as Dave's back hit the mattress. Kurt kissed him, long and slow, taking his time. He sucked at Dave's bottom lip gently, then worked his lips up to his earlobe and nibbled it. He kissed back down, exploring the terrain of Dave's neck and then, his chest. He kissed and licked all over his husband's upper torso, lingering at the nipples before trailing butterfly soft kisses down Dave's ribcage and to his navel.
He felt Dave's hand in his hair. "That feels so good, Kurt. So sweet," Dave said softly.
"I want to be sweet to you," said Kurt, looking up at Dave with fathomless love in his pale green eyes. "You're the best husband ever, and you deserve it." He tongued Dave's belly button gently, then followed the trail of hair with his tongue until it was blocked by Dave's boxers. Kurt slid them down and off Dave's legs, tossing them off the edge of the bed. Dave's erection lay against his belly, and Kurt licked a soft, wet trail up the length. He pressed a kiss to the tip, sucking softly. He proceeded to give Dave a tender, worshipful blow job, stopping every once and a while to nuzzle his balls, or stroke his perineum. He took Dave almost to the edge but not over, wanting them to come together this time.
Kurt sat back on his heels and slipped Dave's shirt off, enjoying how Dave watched him do it with panting breath and slitted eyes. Dave reached for Kurt's erection, but he gently pushed his hand away. Instead, he leaned over and grabbed the lube and a condom out of the drawer, coating his fingers and bringing them to Dave's ass. He massaged the tight hole, rubbing and then penetrating, until two of his long fingers were sliding in and out easily. He changed the angle slightly and crooked his fingers, brushing Dave's prostate in a practiced move. Dave thrust upwards at the touch, and a bead of pre-come appeared at the slit of his hard cock. "Oh, Kuuuuuurt," he moaned.
Kurt withdrew his fingers, grabbed the lube, and squeezed it on Dave's erection. He rolled the condom on himself, adding lube to that as well. With his palm, he rubbed both Dave's cock and his own until they were glistening, then wiped the excess on his own taut abs. Holding himself up on his hands, he rose up so his face hovered over Dave's. "God, I love you so much, Dave," he said. "I want to make you feel so good, to be inside you so much. Want to be part of you, so no one will ever know where you begin and I end." He kissed Dave, sweeping their tongues together. After breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against Dave for a moment. "Even if this is all we ever have, we're the luckiest people in the world."
"Love you, Kurt," said Dave, bringing his fingertips to Kurt's ribcage and stroking gently. As Kurt raised his head and made eye contact, he continued. "We'll always have this. We'll always have each other. You were meant to be mine from the moment you were born, and I was always meant to be yours, too. We wouldn't have been brought together again, when the time was right, otherwise." Kurt's eyes filled, but this time with happiness instead of sorrow. Dave brushed an errant tear away from Kurt's cheek. "Now show me," he said. "Show me how very yours I am."
They smiled at each other, then Kurt lowered himself back onto his haunches. He brought the head of his prick to Dave's entrance, pushing gently but firmly. With a thrust, he slid inside, never stopping until he was balls deep inside. "Mmmmmm," he hummed. "So tight around me. So beautiful, so hot." He lowered his top half until their chests rubbed against each other, and Dave's slickened cock rubbed against the lube on Kurt's abdomen. Kurt felt Dave's muscular legs lift and hook over the small of his back. He started to thrust back and forth, Dave's heels beating the same rhythm on his tattoo. Kurt made sure there was never a moment when they weren't touching as much of each other's skin as possible. It took longer for both of them to come in this position, but they welcomed the chance to savor the intimacy, kissing and breathing into each other's mouths endlessly.
Their bodies slid against each other, becoming slick with sweat as they both came close to climax. Kurt's thrusts grew more forceful, and he had to tear his lips away from Dave's to get enough oxygen. He slipped his arms under Dave's shoulders, and buried his head in his neck. He could feel Dave's passage getting tighter and tighter, and his cock growing harder still as it skated between their damp bodies. "Kurt," Dave suddenly said. "Oh God, I'm gonna-" he broke off with a grunt, and Kurt felt even more slickness between their bellies. Kurt thrust twice more, and then he was done for too. With a moan, he emptied himself into Dave, continuing to pump until he was too sensitive for it to be pleasurable any longer. Still, he stayed inside his husband, holding on tightly and being held in return.
Slowly their breathing returned to normal, and Kurt finally withdrew. He removed the condom and tied it off, tossing it into the waste basket next to their bed. Turning back to Dave, he laid his head on his shoulder and slid his fingers down to where Dave's come was spread on his lower torso. Kurt was certainly no stranger to semen, whether it be Dave's or his own. They came inside each other, on each other, and down each other's throats on a regular basis. But after the consult this afternoon, Kurt found himself thinking of it in a whole new way. What Dave had spilled on him, and he'd unloaded inside the condom? It was the same substance that could create life; that could make a completely separate human being, maybe with his green eyes and pert nose, or Dave's arched eyebrows and solid jaw.
Suddenly, Kurt felt Dave's fingers twine with his in the sticky mess. He looked up, and saw that Dave had easily read his thoughts. "So," said Dave. "Want to try and make a baby, Hummel?"
Kurt huffed out a gentle laugh. "Yeah," he said, his earlier trepidation gone. In a world where bullies and their former victims turned out to be each other's soul mates, surely anything was attainable with enough love and perseverance. "I do, Dave. I really, really do."
I'm hoping that you all liked to see the more tender side of Kurt and Dave's sex life. I know most of the time I write them super dirty, but I wanted to give this glimpse into how their amazing sexual compatibility could be both healing and sensual at the same time.
Reviews, as always, are so needed and appreciated. They make the next chapter come much more quickly, I promise! XD