DISCLAIMER: The characters of the television show, CASTLE does not belong to me. They belong to the ABC network. I'm borrowing them for a little while, for my enjoyment and hopefully yours as well. I am getting no financial gain from this.

Author's Note: Yay! CASTLE returns tomorrow! I'm so excited. So freaking excited! I can only HOPE that the new season lives up to my expectations. Anyways, here's chapter twelve!

Chapter Twelve

Whatever Kate expected when she walked into Castle's room, it wasn't what she saw. She had always relied on him as a source of strength, a pillar of support that was always there when she needed him, and seeing him pale and seemingly lifeless was almost too much for her to take. "Oh Castle…" she whispered softly as she sat down beside him and tentatively reached out for his hand. "What have I done to you…?"

While Kate half expected an answer right away, the other half of her knew that she wasn't going to get one. Not yet anyways. Kate had so much to say to him, and while saying it now while he was unconscious was something that she wanted to do, Kate's resolve won out and she was determined to wait until he was actually awake before she told him everything.

She had been sat there for an hour or so when Josh walked in. Kate looked up in surprise, for some reason she had thought that she wouldn't be seeing him again, but she mentally shook that thought away because of course she'd be seeing him. He was a doctor, she was in a hospital, he operated on Castle, and their paths were bound to cross sooner or later.

"Hi," he said awkwardly.

"Hi," she replied, feeling just as awkward as he looked.

"I just wanted to let you know that he's sure to make a full recovery," Josh stated, watching how Kate's eyes lit up with gladness at the news. "He might be out of it for a while, a couple hours at the least but… there shouldn't be any problems post-op."

Kate smiled thankfully. "Josh…"

"No," he interjected, holding a hand up to stop her before she could even start. "Let's not say anymore Kate we uh, we both have said all that we need to say."

Kate nodded. "I suppose you're right. But I'd still like to say thank you."

"Thanks have got nothing to do with it," Josh said solemnly. "I was just doing my job."

Kate wanted to thank him none-the-less, but before she could Josh turned and left, without so much as a goodbye. With a sigh, Kate turned to Castle and gripped his hand just a little tighter. "I suppose that it's for the best," she said aloud, knowing that even if he couldn't hear her, she needed to get some things off her chest. "Me saying goodbye to Josh that is, or rather him saying goodbye to me… you know it is strange Castle. I never really expected to even start dating a guy like Josh but he sort of fell into my world and I, I was grasping at straws I guess. You were right you know. I was with a guy that I didn't love. I've always done that. I'm not sure why… it's not that I don't want to be loved it's just that…" Kate paused and tried to put her feelings into words. "It's just that I've always been afraid to love. I've always been afraid to seize a moment when it came along and I, I was afraid to seize what was between us from the start."

Kate paused again and looked at Castle. Despite the fact that was pale, and despite the fact that he was hooked up to machines, he really was the most ruggedly handsome man that she had ever met. But more than that, she knew that his spirit was kindred to hers. They complimented each other. They completed each other. She couldn't imagine a world without him in her life. Castle had wormed his way so far under her skin that she knew that she'd never be able to let him go.

"I love you Castle," she whispered as she put her forehead to his hand. "And when you wake up, I'm going to tell you every day."

"Tell me what everyday?" asked a small quiet hoarse voice.

Kate felt her heart skip a beat and she looked up. "Castle?" she asked, watching as his eyes fluttered open. "Oh my god. Castle?"

"Here," he answered with a grimace as he squinted his eyes, clearly in pain. "Though, I feel as though I've just been shot."

"You have," Kate replied quickly. "I mean you were, I mean…" she paused and smiled at him. "You were brilliant in that warehouse."

Castle looked at Kate as though she was crazy. "How brilliant could I have been when I got myself shot?"

Kate laughed despite herself and then she collected herself with a breath. "You saved me," she said very quietly, and very honestly. "And I, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you."

Castle glanced down at their joined hands and then back to the door with a confused look on his face. "Was Josh here?" he asked.

"Josh?" Kate asked, slightly taken aback by his abrupt change in conversation. "Uh, yeah he was for a bit. He was one of the physicians who operated on you."

"Really?" he inquired. "He saved me?"

Kate nodded. "He did."

"Would have thought that he would have just let me die."

"What?" exclaimed Kate. "Why would you say that?"

"Well he said…" Castle began before realizing that he really didn't want to tell Kate how Josh had said that he was the better man for her and how she would pick him in the end. "…nothing," he said at last. "Forget it."

Kate wanted to protest but decided to press on with what she wanted to tell him once he woke up. "Alright," she agreed. "But you know what I won't forget? What I'll never forget?"

"What's that?" Castle asked curiously.

"The way that you looked into my eyes as you held me," Kate answered, in a quiet whisper. "And told me, that you loved me."

Castle's eyes went wide. "You did hear me."

"Course I heard you," Kate answered with a smile. "How could I not?"

"Well, you had just been shot."

"I know," Kate agreed, rubbing her own battle wound which was still healing and was quite remarkably not infected due to the lack of care she received when she had been kidnapped from the hospital. "I'm just sorry for one thing."

"Sorry for ever letting me near you?" Castle asked rhetorically. He saw the wild confusion in Kate's eyes and so he continued speaking. "If I hadn't shadowed you, if I never pressed you to look into your mothers case again, if I hadn't prompted you to follow every lead you wouldn't have—"

"Castle," she said sharply, before sighing and continuing on softer. "None of what happened was your fault, just like you getting shot wasn't my fault. I could think that it was," she continued. "I could say that because I got kidnapped you got shot but wallowing in self pity isn't going to get us anywhere, especially considering that we're both alive."

"Yeah," Castle agreed with a sigh. "Suppose you're right… so what—?"

"What was I sorry about?" Kate asked, finishing his question before he had even had a chance to ask it. "As I lay dying, and yes Castle I was dying in front of your eyes just as assuredly as you were dying in front of mine in the warehouse…" she paused, realized that she was rambling and recollected herself. "I only had one thought in my head, and I was sorry that I didn't get a chance to say it aloud."

"And what thought was that?" Castle asked, waiting with baited breath. Just as he had awoken, he could have sworn that he heard Kate say that she loved him, but those moments between sleeping and awake were fuzzy. He remembered hearing Josh's voice, and he remembered Kate talking to him, but he hadn't been awake enough to grasp everything, just that she loved him— though Castle wasn't about to believe it until she actually told him because too many times since he admitted to himself that he loved her had he dreamed that she returned the sentiment.

Kate smiled and leaned down so that their faces were just inches apart. "I love you too." And before Castle could say anything, Kate captured his lips with her own. This kiss was soft, tender and nothing like their first undercover kiss had been. That kiss had felt as though they were two lovers on fire for each other, this one made them both feel as though they were lovers reuniting after a long absence from each other, and as far as first kisses went, both Castle and Kate would agree, that that one in the hospital was their first kiss.

When Kate finally pulled away, she could see the look of utter bewilderment and happy surprise on Castle's face. He was bewildered she was sure, because he thought that there was no way that she would ever return his feelings, and he was happy at the surprise of her kissing him because it was something that he had wanted to do for quite a while now. Kate smiled at him before hitting him slightly on the arm.

"Ow," he said with a wince, "What was that for."

"You almost got yourself killed Castle," she said sounding more annoyed than she really felt. If truth be told, Kate had been terrified when she thought that she was going to lose him, and she wanted to instill in him that he wasn't ever to put her through that again.

"Sorry," he said with a sheepish grin, thankful to be alive. "Guess we're even though."

Kate nodded and felt all the anger and worry drain from her. "Yeah," she agreed. "Guess we are" and with that said, she leaned down for another kiss.

Author's Note 2: And here we have it folks, the last chapter, but not the last chapter because I couldn't end the story here. I've got an epilogue to come. I hope you enjoyed this chapter though, and do take the time to review it! And don't worry, there is an epilogue coming tomorrow just before CASTLE season 4 premieres