The Anti-Zemyx Day Five

Title: Don't We Look Cute?

Genre: Parody(?)/Humour

Rating: K++

Summary: Roxas thinks about what Axel's said, and acts on his thoughts, much to the furious embarrassment of a certain artist... No relevance to the other chapters.

Pairings: Roxas/Kairi, [anti] Zemyx

A/N: I said "Anti-Zemyx", and Anti-Zemyx this is. NO BASHING. I'd never bash my favourite Nobodies!

Shoutout: WeDidItForTheDead! Hope Eternal! Ichiakil! Marimo161! Zenelly! NeonBiersack! All my other readers! Thanks guys! :D

Roxas sat with Kairi, his classmate-now-girlfriend, at the hospital cafeteria. She was an intern there, training to become a nurse, and it was his lunch break from his office. They were eating salt ramen and chicken chow mein, respectively, and chatted pleasantly together in the slightly chilly room.

"––and then Naminé said that she'd rather have all of her supplies stolen than attend a class with such an ignorant fool of a teacher who couldn't even recognize artists when he saw them, then took her things and left. Just like that! Would you believe it? Just like that!"

"I find that very hard to believe. I mean, Naminé? The shy mouse of a cousin of yours? She's always so quiet!"

"Yeah, I know! But she was really ticked off about how her professor was talking trash about Z. I. Evenson's work; he's her favourite artist! Anyway, so now she's dropped her Art Skills class and is going into Psychiatry."

"Wow," said Roxas with a smile, as he clumsily ate another bite of the ramen with his fork as he would with spaghetti: the cafeteria had no chopsticks, and his food was instant and microwaved. Kairi blushed slightly at he rested his head on her shoulder after he finished his food, and leaned her head on his.

"So...?"

"So what?" Kairi snuck her hand under the table and took Roxas's hand and held it gently. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"So... how's she doing now?" he asked. Kairi shrugged.

"She says her teacher now has long blonde hair, instead of huge sideburns. She said he looked kind of creepy, but it was a nice change. He's a little nicer too."

"Huh. That's cool, I guess," he shrugged, mimicking Kairi's actions. The redhaired girl smiled, and so did the blond. Kairi raised an eyebrow (Roxas did, too), and began giggling and twirling her hair, laughing as she watched Roxas do the same.

He looked ridiculous.

Sighing, she quit the charade and took out a book from her bag to read, and opened it, when she saw her boyfriend holding an imaginary book and opening it. She narrowed her eyes and fought to keep the grin off her face.

"Stop that." Roxas looked at her innocently, his wide cerulean eyes open in bruised shock.

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like the sickeningly sweet couple you are." Both Roxas and Kairi turned to look at the source of the newcomer's familiar voice. The blond's face broke into a grin as he recognized who it was.

"Axel!" The approaching redhead, with locks styled into gravity-defying sharp spikes, smirked at his name and plopped himself down onto the wooden bench, placing his feet up on the bench as well, and propping his right elbow onto the table.

"Yo." With one swift movement, he reached over and ruffled Roxas's hair, much to the annoyance of the blond, who did not manage to swat the pale hand away.

"You know I hate that."

"Yep." He grinned. "So. What's up?" Kairi and Roxas looked at each other, before Roxas grinned and began eating a cookie he removed from a ziplock within his bag.

"You tell him."

After a few minutes of telling Axel all about what had been going on lately, including Naminé's incredible walk-out, Kairi finished her end of the conversation and waited for his response.

What he said shocked her.

"You know..." the redhaired man said slyly; "I've got a scoop of my own." Kairi and Roxas unconsciously leaned in. If Axel said he had a scoop, it was most times blow-you-to-the-moon incredible.

Most times.

Axel smirked.

"I was at Nocturne's house and hanging out with him when he accidentally let slip," he said with a devious grin, "that he had a crush on you-know-who."

"Voldemort?"

"NO! Our little Dem-Dems is in love, with the one and only, award-winning, Naminé-charming Zexion Ienzo Evenson."

His lips curled cruelly, a sight to send his many admirers into twittering messes of flustered blushes, as he looked at Roxas's and Kairi's twin looks of shock.

"Yep. It's true."

"No way," Kairi breathed. She had known Demyx was bi, but to fall for Zexion... that was a little extreme.

And when Demyx fell, he fell hard.

Roxas, on the other hand, looked impressed, if somewhat doubtful.

"Zexion? But he's a celebrity, yeah?" Axel grinned and leaned in closer.

"He just moved in next door."

Zexion Ienzo Evenson, who was perfectly fine with being called just "Zexion" or "Mr. Evenson", thank you very much, of the city Radiant Gardens (about sixty miles away), stood with his two black suitcases outside the slightly derelict, brownstone apartment doubtfully, and examined the crinkled slip of paper in his hand once again.

Turn right on Darkside Avenue, and walk to the first brownstone building you see, right by the lamppost. Your new address is 696 A. The key's in the envelope.

He sighed, blowing his messy, slate-coloured bangs out of his face as he looked up at the building once again, and shrugged.

"I suppose I have no choice in this matter..." He quickly folded the worn paper into fouths and stuffed it into his jeans pocket, before taking up the handles of his suitcases and walking in.

The interior of the building was not nearly as dingy as the outside suggested. There was a nice lobby with four chairs, a coffee table, and two lamps, and to the left was an elevator. The man walked over, pushed the button, and winced as the lift made a loud ding! noise as it opened. He pressed the second floor button, and waited as the contraption lifted him up.

As it turned out, he had the apartment closest to the elevator (Great, he thought glumly, not at all looking forward to the inevitable noises of people walking to and from the lift (six feet away though it was)), and had a neighbor's door right in front of it.

696 B

He glanced at it for a moment before turning to his own door and inserting the key.

He twisted the metal, but nothing happened. No click, no sound, just a smooth movement. Zexion frowned.

That can't be right...

He attempted to open the door again, and let out a frustrated groan as the door refused to budge open.

"D'you need help?" asked a sudden voice. The slate-haired man turned around and glanced up at the speaker.

He was a dirty-blond, mullethawked man, with startlingly innocent green eyes and a kind smile, though with some nervousness and stress hidden behind.

No, I'm standing here because it's fun, he would have liked to say to the strange, tall... stranger. Thanks for your concern, but leaning frustratedly against doors that won't open is a national past time of my country to pass the time.

"Er, yes," was what came out of his mouth. "The key moves, but there's no click and the door won't open." The other nodded and tentatively shuffled the painter to the side; he then scrunched up his sleeves, walked back a bit, and charged at the door, kicking it open and holding the door open for the impassive painter.

"There!" he said cheerfully. "No-one's lived there in ages, and these doors stick when not used. You're the new guy, right?"

Once again, Zexion bit back a sarcastic remark and nodded. The other smiled.

"Cool! We'll be neighbors then. My name's Demyx, what's yours?" He held out his hand. Zexion shook it slowly, then released after two seconds and looked away.

"...Zexion. Just Zexion." Demyx grinned.

"Well, Just Zexion, do you need any help with your bags? They look heavy."

Zexion grimaced at the memory of the weight, and nodded, taking one. Demyx took the other, and, after a comical act of pretending it was too heavy to move, he picked it up with ease and placed it into the room, while giving him the orientation.

"...and that's why you don't ever do that, okay? Oh, and one more thing: we don't get bugs up here, but there are a few snakes downstairs. They're not poisonous, but they hurt," he winced. Zexion's eyebrow rose.

"You've been bitten?" As an answer, Demyx pulled up his pant leg and showed Zexion the two scars just above his beach anklet, twin punctures from a snake's fangs. Zexion nodded and pulled up the sleeve of his black turtleneck, showing Demyx the twin marks on his pale wrist. Demyx stared in surprise.

"Wow..." he breathed, and lightly ghosted his long fingers over the skin. Zexion stiffened, not used to another person's touch, and held his breath.

The man seemed to sense his discomfort and stopped, grinning sheepishly and explaining more about the house.

An hour passed before the man said he had to leave, and as he waved goodbye, Zexion felt a tiny pulse in his chest, from his silent heart, and wondered if he had made a good friend.

Demyx poked his head back in the doorway, and winked.

"You should totally stop by for dinner tonight. Seven, okay? Coz, like, your fridge is empty."

With a two-fingered salute, he was gone.

"...so now Zexion's friends with Dem-Dems, and Dem-Dems is head over heels," finished Axel. Kairi sighed dreamily (she, too, was a fan of his paintings, though not as much as her cousin) and glanced at Roxas, who glanced at his watch.

They had about ten minutes left. They had time.

Axel seemed to notice, and continued the story.

"So anyway, Zex doesn't know about the crush, and Dems doesn't know about him being a celebrity."

"How do you know?" Kairi inquired curiously. Axel shrugged.

"I asked him, 'Hey, you know Zexion's famous, right?', and he sat there and laughed at how funny I could be."

"How long since they've known each other now?"

"Oh, maybe three months now?" Kairi played with the keychain on her cellphone.

"Well, that's cool. He should know, though," she added thoughtfully. Then she smiled widely and looked to her boyfriend.

"You should do it!"

"Do what?" he asked in surprise. Axel laughed.

"Great idea, Kai. Roxas, listen: you suggest to Zexion that they date, and I'll give you twenty bucks. Just to see Demyx get some."

"Some what?"

"Just suggest that Zexion and Demyx date." With a wink, he was gone.

Roxas thought about the offer and decided that yes, he would do it, and not just for the money: Demyx was his friend, but while he would help him, he'd also do it in a way that would be fun.

It was around three o'clock when he invited Zexion over to his house for some pie. It was a strange reason, but Zexion said that if Demyx would come, he would come.

Roxas kept his mind off what else that could have meant.

Zexion arrived about seven minuets after the phone call, and sat down awkwardly at the table, hands in his lap and mouth quirked into a line.

Two minutes after that, Demyx arrived, and made himself at home, just as Roxas's pie (cherry and graham crust) finished baking.

"Hey, Roxas! What's with the sudden invite? Someone's birthday?" Roxas kept a straight face.

"I hope not; I didn't give anyone anything!" Zexion smiled, a little, and thanked Roxas for his slice of pie.

They all sat down and began eating, when Roxas grinned devilishly, remembering what Axel said.

"Hey Zexion?" he asked, forgetting that this was a famous person; right now, he was just another friend.

"Yes?"

"You should totally date Demyx."

Zexion coughed on his bite of pie and swallowed some water to clear his throat.

"I beg your pardon?" Roxas grinned; Demyx blushed.

"Just what I said. Y'know? Personality-wise, you'd be perfect for each other! And you live next door. And I'll bet your astro-guides say you're compatible!"

"Firstly..." he said with scornful disdain; "your syntax is quite incorrect. Secondly, I am not gay. Thirdly, 'personality-wise'? Please tell me you're joking. I strongly dislike laziness, something Demyx specializes in..."

Demyx grinned sheepishly, lethargically raising a hand in agreement.

"For another, he's quite loud, compared to me, and finally, we have completely different tastes."

But Roxas grinned.

"Exactly! Opposites attract! You'd compliment each other! Right, Dem-Dems?" Demyx grinned and walked up behind the sitting Zexion.

He loosely draped his arms over his shoulders, and gently rested his chin on the slate hair.

"Don't we look so cute together?" he teased. Zexion blushed, a slight pink tainting his cheeks.

"I have work to do..." he muttered, before leaving the house (after thanking Roxas halfheartedly for the half-slice of pie he ate) and closing the door.

Demyx sighed melodramatically and draped his lithe body onto Roxas's couch.

"He said he wasn't gay!" His face was the pure picture of horror and tragedy. But Roxas smiled.

"He never said he wasn't bi."

A/N: Yes, I rushed. I'm sorry. But I promised my boyfriend I'd sleep before midnight, and I've got fifteen minutes left xD

Did you like? Someone besides Obsidian Rush and WeDidItForTheDead has to review too, please! Or a story might end up being haitused... (not this).

Ahaha. Yes. Yes, indeed. There is a Get Smart reference in there. The old version. I've never watched the movie.