Title: Magic Mirrors
Author: MercuryPheonix (Your Angel of Music)
Fandom: EastEnders
Warnings: Some violent imagery, some sexual references
Spoilers: Begins in the period following Tamwar and Afia's wedding (early July, 2011).

Summary: In the midst of a turbulent period in Christian and Syed's relationship, a mysterious figure from Christian's past emerges with a revelation that rocks him to the core. In a world of uncertainly, there is only one thing that can be guaranteed: the couple's lives will never be the same again.

A/N: I apologise for the delay! I have had an inhuman amount of work to do this week - one day I did an eleven hour shift with one ten minute break - and my wonderful beta, lady in waiting, is also going through a pretty hectic time. We're working hard to work around the unfortunate issues posed by real life, but we'd much rather the fiction you are presented with is of good quality, rather than fast. I hope you'll agree!

'Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.'

~Gail Lumet Buckley

Chapter 4

"You got anything stronger?"

Mara pulled a face at the lemonade that Christian set down in front of her, her nose wrinkling as she dipped her fingers into the bubbling liquid and pulled out the decrepit lemon slice that had been swirling in its depths. A look of distaste descended like a dark curtain over her features as she dropped it onto the wooden tabletop like a soggy tissue.

Christian swallowed hard, his hand hovering over the back of his chair as he wondered whether or not he should sit down. Of all the questions scuttling around in his mind, this was the easiest one to focus on. Perhaps, he hoped, if he just concentrated on answering that particular one it would create a slipstream for the others.

"Sod this, I'm getting something else," the young woman struggled with the jacket that was hung over the back of her chair, rummaging around the in the pocket. "I can't do this without a proper drink."

Eventually, she managed to find her purse and pulled it from the crumpled folds. As she went to stand up, Christian suddenly reached out and caught her arm; the touch was brief but electric, both of them flinching away as soon as contact was made.

"Don't…I'll…" he quickly shoved his hand into his own pocket, focusing his concentration on finding his own money. "You are old enough, right?"

Mara sank back into her chair, tongue swiping at her lip as she ran a hand nervously through the bleached spikes of her hair – but, somehow, she managed to flash the briefest of cocky smiles in his direction.

"I don't even know why you're asking me that."

There was an awkward beat; the air was thick with the silence, hanging oppressively between them. And then Christian nodded, turning away quickly and heading to the bar.

As he waited to be served, ignoring the questioning looks that both Moons were sending in his direction, his gaze drifted back to the table. He leant all his weight on his arms, tipping his head as he watched – transfixed, almost, by every single movement made by the young woman he'd never met before. He was like a child struggling to read, staring intently at the pages as he struggled to form the letters into words. More than anything, he wished that he could make some sort of sense of everything that he was seeing.

When he returned to the table, Mara took a firm hold of the bottle – he realised that he'd subconsciously bought the same brand that he'd been knocking back just an hour previously – and took a long, almost desperate swig. Her eyes closed slightly, fluttering open as he slid uncomfortably into the seat opposite her, crossing his arms on the tabletop and leaning forward as far as he dared.

"So…" Christian cleared his throat, feeling his tongue tying itself in knots in his mouth. "Why are you here? Now, I mean. Not that I don't want you here, but..."

"My mum kicked me out," Mara took another sip of the beer, her eyes flicking up to rest on Christian's before returning to the drink in front of her.

"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she flashed a tiny, uncaring smile that he didn't believe for a second (God, he thought suddenly, am I that easy to read too?). "I knew it was coming. For years, actually. Surprised it took so long."

Her eyes closed for a moment, a sigh hissing its way between her lips as she leant back in the chair. Christian was suddenly overcome by a sudden desire to put his arms around her – it wasn't there for very long, but something about the action made him ache slightly.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes opened, fixing him with a look that he couldn't decide was angry, pitiful or a little bit cocksure. It took him no time at all to decide which one she obviously wanted to convey.

"She's not worth it anyway. I'm better off without her. I can do it on my own…"

For the first time since he'd woken up that morning, Christian managed a tiny, genuine smile.

"Call me crazy, but why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming in somewhere?"

The corner of Mara's mouth twitched.

"Call me crazy, but I don't fancy sleeping on the pavement."

Their eyes locked, and for the most fleeting of moments there was…something. Christian couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but it was definitely something. That was the only word he could think of to describe it.

He wasn't quite sure how it made him feel. He felt completely out of control – and that was not something that Christian Clarke was used to. At least, it wasn't something he'd been used to until he'd come to realise that living without Syed actually made it difficult to breathe.

Syed.

"Sorry," he dropped his gaze, well aware of the fact that Mara was still staring at him. Intently. Like she was looking for something. "I just think that there's something you should know. I'm…"

But Mara cut him off.

"Gay. I know."

Christian blinked, looking up to gauge her expression. Nothing.

"You know?"

"Yeah. Never really been allowed to forget it."

Now there was something in her expression, a despondency that Christian couldn't quite interpret. There was a lot going on behind the muddy colouring of her eyes; he knew it would take a long time to get deeply into the tangled mass in her head.

And isn't it funny how I'm already acting like this thing is long term?

There were so many things he wanted to ask, but something about the last words she had uttered held him back. There was a pain there, a pain that he recognised but couldn't put his finger on.

"Look," there was a defensiveness to her tone, as if a cage of steel had been lowered over her emotions. "I'm gonna cut to the chase. I've done my research. I've been getting everything together for years: I know you, I know about you and I know what I'm doing. I've been saving up as well - I know how we can find out the truth, but, right now, I need you to trust me. I've got nowhere else to go. Please."

As soon as the words were out in the open, Mara lifted the bottle to her mouth and, in a few, abrupt mouthfuls, drained the remaining liquid.

Christian considered her for a moment, the silence once again hanging heavily between them as she lowered her gaze to the tabletop. There were a thousand thoughts butting against his skull, urging him to let them in – things to consider, things to say, objections, questions, and a million other things that would only have added to the bubbling mixture swirling in his brain.

But Christian ignored them. Shutting them out. There would be time for that. But not now.

Instead, he looked at the nervously defiant face carefully avoiding his gaze.

And he made his decision.

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TBC

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Thank you for bearing with me, and please, if you have any comments, drop my a line and let me know what you think.