Warnings: Mild, non-graphic violence and allusions to self-harm.

As Derek felt the warm stickiness of blood drip down his neck and pool beneath him on the pavement, the only thing to enter his mind was: I lied to him.

JJ's face swam blurrily before him as his vision began to tunnel. "Derek," her voice sounded like she was under water. He felt a hand gripping his neck tightly where the bullet had penetrated, but he wasn't sure if it was JJ or someone else who he couldn't see. The rest of his body felt like it was floating.

"Derek, you're going to be okay. The ambulance is on its way. You're going to be fine." He could hear sirens blaring in the distance, growing ever closer.

Hotch's voice joined hers but he couldn't see him – couldn't manage to turn his head. "Morgan, you ever pull a stunt like that again and I'll recommend you to Strauss for suspension."

Morgan's eyes locked onto JJ. "The unsub?" he sounded strange to his own ears, as though his voice was echoing. He knew his trachea hadn't been hit or breathing, let alone speaking, would be an impossibility. As it was, he was having a difficult time drawing enough oxygen into his lungs.

"In custody," she assured him. "But you should have waited for backup."

He ignored the reprimand as he had Hotch's. "JJ…tell…tell Spencer…" He wasn't sure how to finish the sentence, but fear suddenly gripped his heart that he was going to die without ever telling the young man that he loved him.

"I'll tell Spencer what happened," she assured him. "I know he'll jump on the next plane."

Derek shook his head against the pavement, his eyes growing wide in fear. He didn't want to imagine what Spencer would do if he was alone when he found out that the one person he could count on had been shot. "Don't…tell him…over the phone…" he managed. It was growing harder to breath and his voice sounded gravelly. His vision was beginning to narrow further and was pinpricked with sparkles of black.

He heard a commotion around him and then felt someone settle by his side. The hand on his neck was removed and then replaced by another. "Don't worry sir, you're going to be fine." An unfamiliar voice, probably that of an EMT.

Derek ignored him, begging JJ to respond with his eyes.

Her brow was furrowed. "Derek, I'm sure he'll come right away."

He shook his head again. "Can't…be alone…when he hears…"

Comprehension seemed to dawn. Derek wasn't sure how much JJ had realized, but it was enough. "I'll take the plane," she said. "I'll leave right away, and I'll bring him back here with me, okay?"

"Okay," he breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you…thank you…"

"Sir, you need to relax," this time it was a disembodied voice on his other side. "We're going to get you out of here."

It felt like JJ was squeezing his hand, but he couldn't be sure. "I'll bring Garcia back with me," she promised him. "I know she'll want to come too."

"Thank…you…"

It wasn't just that he wanted to protect Spencer, he realized. He was scared as Hell – he was man enough to admit that – and all he wanted was the younger agent there with him. He needed to feel Spencer's presence, hear his voice, see his beautiful hazel eyes. He needed to feel safe, and Spencer was the only person who could do that for him.

He felt JJ press a kiss to his forehead before she rose and walked away, and the EMTs began to shift him onto a stretcher.

Spencer, I need you. It was his last conscious thought.

Then everything went black.

x x x x x

He woke to the sound of beeping and the blaze of fluorescent lights. He blinked, his head pounding, and snaked an IV-ridden hand up to his neck. He wasn't sure how much time had passed.

There was a large gauze bandage surrounded by medical tape on the left side of his neck near his collarbone. Thank God the bullet hadn't pierced an artery.

"Don't touch that," a quiet voice admonished, one that made his heart quicken in his chest. He felt the bed dip and turned his head on the pillow to find Spencer settling beside him.

The young man looked more beautiful in that moment than he ever had before. The image before him blurred and he realized his eyes had filled with tears. "You came."

"Of course I did." Spencer lowered himself to lie on the small strip of available bed by Derek's side. He curled against the older agent's form and his hand searched for Derek's, joining them to lie across the man's chest.

Spencer's face was pressed against the uninjured side of Derek's neck, his breath tickling hotly. "Derek," he murmured, his voice wet with tears. "Derek, I'm so sorry."

"Shhh…there's nothing to be sorry for pretty boy," he placed a kiss on top of the young agent's head. "Nothing at all."

"I never should have spoken to you the way I did. You've been nothing but amazing to me."

"It's forgotten." All Derek cared about at this moment was that the man he loved was next to him and he finally felt like he didn't have to struggle to breathe.

Spencer's body shook with a silent sob. "I don't know what I would have done if…if…"

"I'm fine, kiddo," he whispered into the soft, chestnut locks. "Everything's going to be okay. I'm just glad you're here."

"Of course I am. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Derek hesitated. "Are you…are you alright?"

He felt the young man nod against him. "I'm fine," he murmured. "I promise."

"I'm sorry to give you something else to worry about. Hotch already wants to rip my head off for not following orders, so you'll have to get in line."

That garnered the soft laugh he had hoped for. "It's fine…really. I'm just…I'm just glad you're okay." He paused and Derek could tell he was trying to strengthen his resolve. "I don't know what I would do if…I lost you."

"You won't lose me, baby boy. I told you that."

"I don't know how I would get by without you, Derek."

"You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

He felt Spencer nod again and then the young agent's breathing began to even out. The rhythm of his chest rising and falling and the beat of his heart lulled Derek into a feeling of contentment. The warmth of the body pressed against him made him feel safe in a way he never had before.

Maybe he had been wrong to try to be Spencer's savior. Maybe this wasn't the one-way deal he had assumed and they were supposed to help each other.

With that thought to hold on to, he let himself to be pulled under to a peaceful sleep.

TBC