Chapter 20!~ last chapter of my holidays T^T

Thanks to everyone who reviews

Enjoy!~

The front door to the small house opened and Iruka found himself face to face with Haruno Sakura.

"Iruka sensei, sorry to bother you but Naruto doesn't feel comfortable in his apartment yet so I thought it was best to bring him to you," she said looking up at him. Her smile was nearly flat line. How long had she been with him? Too long? Sakura stepped up to Iruka and whispered something low so that the blonde boy couldn't hear.

"He and Sasuke kun had a fight."

Oh. The man smiled past the girl and breathed out when Naruto smiled back.

It couldn't have been too bad if he is smiling.

"Yeah ok, come in Naruto, Sakura," the man replied, ushering them in, side steeping and sweeping his arm warmly in invitation. Sakura smiled a little more and then opened her mouth to speak.

"I think I'll head home actually Iruka sensei, its getting pretty late." She moved onto the road and gave a little wave to Naruto who waved back and then bowed to the teacher.

"Bye Sakura."

"Bye Haruno san."

…

"So Naruto," Iruka said conversationally, taking the lead as they moved into his cramped living space. It was only made for one person but he had two chairs and an extra orange duvet in his closet because sometimes when he and Naruto were on good terms in the academy days Naruto used to come and sleep; especially when he had had a rough day. He was a child after all and even though he always had excuses, Iruka liked to think he was the only one Naruto would come to like that for comfort on his own free will. October 10th was the last time he had come. It was hot, rainy and Naruto's birthday.

"You can sleep in my bed and I'll take the couch if you like," the man offered as he turned to the boy. Naruto looked back at him unsurely.

"Really? The couch is fine for me." Iruka smiled at the politeness.

Like I'd let you sleep on the couch. Don't you know you always sleep in my bed?

"You can sleep in my bed," he repeated firmly.

"Ok."

…

A comfortable silence. Naruto was sitting on the couch and Iruka was in the kitchen with his apron on and the biggest bowl he had set on the counter.

"Hungry?" Naruto's stomach rumbled loudly in response. "Have you eaten today?" The teacher could feel Naruto's embarrassment but it was normal because Naruto often came on an empty stomach when he visited and Iruka always cooked for him.

"You want ramen?"

"Ramen?"

"It's your favourite," replied Iruka smoothly, already reaching for the ingredients. Even with his back to the boy he felt the air change with the new piece of knowledge and he already knew what kind of face Naruto was making from their bonding time in the hospital. From the moment when he woke up and Iruka had told him who he was and a little about his life. It was a working face; one to try and hide his confusion. One to pretend like nothing was that big of a deal.

"Ok then."

A smiled bubbled on the older male's lips. It was the same response he always got when he offered to treat Naruto at Ichiraku. The same voice and tone. After being with the boy nearly 24/7 for the past however long it had been since he had awoken (all the days had seemed to blend) Iruka had pretty much come to terms that Naruto's memories were gone and he had decided that although that threw everything off balance for a lot of the people near him, Naruto was still Naruto, he hadn't changed so much that he was new and the people who loved him still loved him. They should carry on as normal and find a new way to connect with the Naruto. Iruka had done it once and he felt like he had done it again. Everyone just needed a new way to touch the boy. Naruto wasn't a has-been; he was only just coming out. That's how Iruka looked at it. That's how Iruka was thinking of it. But even so, it was nice to have a little link back to times Naruto couldn't recall every now and again.

"So you wanna talk about what happened with Sasuke?" Iruka asked carefully as he set the big bowl of ramen in front of Naruto and sat down across the small table from him. The boy marvelled at the food for about half a second and then puffed his cheeks out into a pout, probably out of habit because he changed his expression quickly like he had just remembered something to just looking uncomfortable.

"It's ok now. Haruno san kind of talked to me about it and I guess I'm not that mad over it anymore... But he did hit me..." Naruto pouted again.

"Sasuke hitting you is nothing new," soothed Iruka. "You guys fight all the time. Physically and verbally." He stopped and pondered for a moment. "But I guess in this case, hitting a normal person, a civilian I suppose you should be called, isn't really acceptable."

"I know! He needs to learn some self control! He's such a bastard!" Naruto exploded and when he was done he blinked at Iruka and Iruka blinked back. That was unexpected. And so familiar. Familiar enough to shock him. Naruto was probably just shocked that he had said such a thing because he didn't understand how 'the same' that little outburst had sounded.

"Ah.. I mean..." A hand came up to finger the thick blonde tresses at the back of his head nervously. "I mean... its just he..." The blonde haired child stopped and looked across to his teacher and then to the table top, his hand coming down, picking up his chopsticks and rolling them between the pads of his mission calloused fingers.

"Why is he like that? I think that I'm so... different to him. We're complete opposites, how are we friends? Are we really close at all? He's so... mean," Naruto finished bluntly, mixed emotions passing through his expression. Iruka sighed gently and lent his chin on his palms, dropping his gaze to the leaping blue dolphin motif at the rim of Naruto's bowl. He took a deep breath.

"Naruto... Most ninja are not very happy people," he began and heard Naruto shift uncomfortably. He waited for a moment and then continued. It was important for the boy to hear this. Sasuke and Naruto would go nowhere without Naruto knowing what being a ninja meant and the kind of thing that being a ninja or being born into a ninja family could mean.

"Naruto," Iruka called gently, coaxing the blue eyes to his.

"People like Sasuke and Kakashi sensei... They are among the best of their league. But both I imagine aren't very happy people. They've been through a lot."

Yes, that's right. Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, many ninja of Konoha had been through a lot...

"Ninja grow quicker than others. In the mind they aren't really 12 or 13, they can be as old as 18. They see and feel things differently to normal people. Just being a ninja means you have to grow up quickly but Sasuke has been pushed to grow before his time for various reasons and in various ways and it's made him how he is." Iruka tiptoed around Sasuke's true issues, knowing that it was Sasuke who should tell Naruto if he wanted him to know about his family. Naruto's eyes were soft and sad. Maybe he could feel it a little; that loneliness that belonged to him and Sasuke. To Kakashi and to Iruka. To ninja from clans like the Uchiha and Hyuuga. The ones that were left alone to fend for themselves. Maybe he felt it a little right now. Maybe that would help.

"You shouldn't blame him Naruto. Even you were well advanced beyond your years and that's what everyone was used to. But you're alright now, not a ninja, and don't remember becoming one and growing up too quickly... You are... correct. We are the ones with something wrong with us but really, we aren't to blame. The way of the shinobi is very cruel..." The academy teacher's eyes dropped away.

It is cruel beyond belief and I don't know who knows that better, you or Sasuke...

There silence was long and Iruka could feel his own words seeping through him; cold and clear like icy water.

"You know, in the academy I teach at I train young ninja. In the academy I teach at, the students learn what it takes to kill and how to do it effectively before they are even teenagers..." Naruto sucked in breath sharply through his nose.

"Its not that Sasuke doesn't like you or doesn't care because he does. I know he does, everyone knows he does; its just he's shocked at how young and fragile you are. He's having a hard time understanding why you two aren't the same with each other and why you can't understand the things he does."

"I see..."

"He's trying to be gentle with you Naruto, trust me, that Sasuke you had today before things got bad? He's the gentle Sasuke and we don't see that very often. Try to be gentle with him too. It'll take some time, but don't lose him over something stupid ok?" Iruka's voice was strong on "ok?". It wasn't really a suggestion. Naruto was so very important to Sasuke. Someone he couldn't lose.

"Would it be easy to loose him?"

"Huh?"

"Could I easily loose him?"

Iruka stared for a second. Naruto looked sad and pained by the thought.

"Sasuke is the kind of person who won't intentionally let anyone get close to him so if something goes wrong I don't think he will come after you," replied the man slowly.

"How did we ever last this long as friends then?"

Iruka laughed.

"Don't use me as a reliable source, but I think you probably always came after him."

"Ah."

...

In the bedroom Naruto stood to the side while Iruka laid his orange duvet atop the bedding. He wasn't sure why. He'd always used it to make Naruto feel at home but Naruto didn't remember the duvet and probably was having difficulty wrapping his head around his fondness for the bright colour. It wasn't very 'ninja-ish'.

"Ne, Iruka san?" Naruto started nervously as he climbed into bed. "Have you ever killed someone?" The man stopped fussing over the duvet and looked up. Naruto looked away.

"Would it bother you if I had?" he asked, coming to sit on the edge of the bed where Naruto had shuffled close to the wall to make room.

"I don't know... Have you?"

"No. I have never killed someone. I find it hard to imagine going after someone with the intent to kill them just because I am ordered to. I would fight and do everything necessary to protect, but to kill on the offense doesn't seem quite right to me."

"I guess..." Naruto replied playing with one of the domes on the thick blanket. The duvet was upside down.

"Has Kakashi san ever killed anyone?" This one was more awkward. Sensing this could be another long discussion, Iruka moved to the end of the bed and sat cross legged. He felt like a kid, but he also felt more of an equal with Naruto this way.

"Kakashi san is a full fledge ninja and works under Hokage sama. It is his duty to do as he is ordered."

"So he has." It wasn't a question. Naruto looked jumpy. Thumbing the tip of his scar, Iruka watched the boy for a moment as he considered his next words. Whatever he said about Kakashi would influence Naruto's view of him. But was the boy looking for more of an explanation? His last words felt pretty final. Because he already knew.

With Kakashi it was like your eyes and your brain were having argument. In front of you is this man, tall and a bit lanky, one soft eye and moonlight silver hair. And then you are told that this man, this gentle looking man, this joking man, casual and lazy; has killed. That under his slouched forehead protector is an eye the colour of fresh blood. That he is elite. You blink your eyes thinking maybe he'll change into the image of a killer, of a ninja but he doesn't and continues to smile.

To Iruka, he was confusing and misleading and it was hard for the other man to hide how he felt about the silver haired jounin. Even how he addressed him by switching between 'sensei' and 'san' portrayed how unclear Iruka's feelings towards Kakashi were.

"Yes. He has."

"Many?"

"I would think so." A tired headache was building. Releasing his shoulder length hair from its tight ponytail, the man squirmed subtly in the quiet atmosphere of the small bedroom.

"Ne, Iruka san. Has Sasuke ever killed anyone?"

"Sasuke has never killed anyone," replied Iruka quickly.

"Have... I?" The blue in Naruto's eyes shivered in the light of the moon through the curtains that needed closing. What a thing to have to ask about yourself.

"How would you feel if you had?" Naruto wriggled.

"If it's part of orders... Neither me or Kakashi san can help it, right?" There was a certain note of helplessness in the way the boy asked for reassurance. Iruka sighed. Such a big event; his first time out of the village, his first big mission, and he didn't remember what had happened with him, Sasuke and the ice mirrors boy.

"You have never taken a life, but from what I've heard, you've gotten very close."

"What happened?"

"You, Sasuke and Sakura were on an escort mission with Kakashi san. You and Sasuke were trapped and your opponent very nearly killed Sasuke. You... were very mad..."

"...Was I strong? Was I a strong ninja?" asked Naruto. Curious this time.

A tiny chuckle in the gloom. How to word it...

"You were strong but you were reckless; always jumping in at the wrong moment. You must have scared your team half to death the way you went about things. You were a real hero." Iruka turned to the boy, smiled and reached out to ruffle his hair. Naruto closed his eyes against it, his shoulders rising. He looked very cute and incredibly young in the pajamas that Iruka had seen on the boy countless times. Not any older than thirteen, if anything a little younger. A child, a proper child.

Most of Iruka was glad.

…

The knock at the door came while Iruka was drying Naruto's ramen bowl. In the entrance way stood the Hokage having let himself in. The teacher greeted him with a small bow.

"Naruto's here?"

"Yes."

"I heard about what happened with Uchiha Sasuke."

"Me too. Who told you?"

"Sasuke."

"You went over there? To the Uchiha compound?"

"Yes."

"I don't imagine many people have been in there since..."

"No. Neither do I. Naturally he looked quite surprised to see me."

"How is he?" A thinking pause.

"Surly. Is Naruto still upset with him?"

"I don't think so."

The old man exhaled.

"Good," he murmured.

"If I may, why is that so good?" asked Iruka. The way the Hokage's 'good' had come off held more than just the relief that the two friends weren't fighting as normal.

"I talked to Sasuke and he said he want to try and get Naruto's memories back..." explained the village leader.

"What?" hissed Iruka through his teeth, trying to keep quiet for Naruto who was sleeping in the next room.

"He requested time off missions."

"He can't do that. What he wants to do is dangerous enough! But time off missions? You can't possibly think of approving what he's asking. The nine tails is sealed and Naruto is fine. We should just leave him now."

"Iruka."

"Yes?"

"Do you think Sasuke will go on without Naruto? Success isn't the same alone for someone like that boy."

Iruka was silent.

"I'm going to let him try, Iruka."

"But-"

"I don't think he can break the jutsu completely so it's safe to let him try and get something back. Something for him. It's about time that boy had something for himself don't you think?"

"Yes... Hokage sama..." Hh

After the Hokage left Iruka slipped back into the bedroom and sat by the bedside. Naruto breathed deep and comfortably. At ease. He hadn't slept like this while he was at the hospital.

So little links aren't enough for Sasuke? He really is still a child. Selfishly wanting something for himself, mused Iruka in the black of the room, now almost pitch black with the curtains finally closed.

But of course it's not like that really, he thought. Sasuke has nothing and has never asked for anything he wanted. He never tried to take and never tried to give. Maybe it was only fair they give him this chance because no matter how you tried to think of something Sasuke had fought for, the only thing was Naruto. It was only fair that after all this time Sasuke had something for himself. Something other than that big empty house at the edge of the Uchiha compound...

Iruka remembered when Sasuke had first come back to academy after the massacre. He had followed the boy home that day, worried and expecting him to break down once he was inside Uchiha territory. But he hadn't. He had passed by all the houses and shops without giving them a first glance. The teacher had wanted to follow him further but it would have felt like an invasion of privacy. Sasuke hadn't asked for him and never did ask for him. So he'd left. But now Sasuke was asking for Naruto. For a chance to have Naruto and a little something for himself. A piece of Naruto and his past, just for him.

Sighing, Iruka blinked twice slowly.

What is it about you that makes me and everyone else need to have you near Naruto? Me, Kakashi san, Sakura, Sasuke... Even the Hokage has a soft spot for you. Is it because you are... were so strong against everything? Always had a smile. You were barely pitiful at all.

I hope you and Sasuke work it out...

He got to his feet and headed for the couch.

"Do you think Sasuke will go on without Naruto? Success isn't the same alone..."

That's right; the moon only shines with the help of the sun... Sasuke actually probably needs Naruto. It isn't Sasuke being selfish. Sasuke is wrong but it isn't really selfish. It's me being selfish. Selfish on Naruto's part... I'm really the worst. Poor Sasuke...

With an exhausted yawn Iruka flopped down on the couch. He'd almost missed sleeping on it. He was glad Naruto was near.