Disclaimer: Noel and Julian are their own people and I don't own them. I don't own anyone else either.
Summary: Julian has to decide who's more important, his family or his best friend but things are made a lot harder when Noel ends up in hospital and needs Julian more than ever. Nolian
Title: What is and what should be
A/N: Please don't tell me off for writing real life but it's a passion! I can't help it. :P Thanks for the reviews as well and sorry for the uber long wait.
Chapter 2- Your love is where I'm falling.
Julian stared at the empty walls of his rented apartment. This time, Julia had decided to stay at home in Leeds and the flat gave him an opportunity of peace… an opportunity he was reluctant to take advantage of. The dim light of the small, red desk lamp cast a shadowy, tinted haze onto the wall and the almost silent electrical buzzing of the ancient TV sent him into something of a daze. His phone vibrated on the arm of the chair.
"Hello?" Julian's voice was hopeful; a smile had been plastered on his face ever since he'd discovered who was calling him.
"Hey you, listen I'm bored stiff and there's nothing good on the telly. I was wondering if you know, you fancied some company seen as Julia's not there you must be pretty lonely." Julian smiled against the phone and chewed on his lip.
"Yeah that'll be nice." Julian and Noel said their goodbyes and hung up. Soon after, a soft knock tapped at his door. The black, polished hardwood sung on its hinges and revealed a very beautiful looking Noel. The moonlight cascaded onto his hair and his eyes wandered from the shining silver door number to the way Julian's unshaven stubble defined his chin. Noel didn't speak, simply wrapped his slim arms around his waist and inhaled the familiar scent. Julian wrapped one arm around Noel's waist and with the other pushed the door shut. "Noel…" He mumbled a reply but stayed clamped to his chest. "We should get out of the hallway." Noel stared at the staircase that spiralled up to another hallway; a line of occupied rooms lay opposite him. Julian took his hand and guided him to his apartment. The door to his flat closed behind them and Noel felt completely safe inside his arms.
"I brought a present." Julian stared at the bag containing two beers, a bottle of vodka and some jelly sweets. "It's not much but I was watching Come Dine with Me and they always take gifts so I thought because I came here and it's not my house I should bring…" Julian stared at him, the way his lips moved as he spoke, the way his eyes swelled with guilt at the sudden mention of Julia. He cut him off with a kiss. Noel kissed back, his lips feeling warm against the cold air of the room. Noel stammered the first words until he settled himself down. "I thought I should bring you something."
"Thanks." A silence hung between them. Unsaid words made him stammer until he found his words. "You want a drink?" Noel nodded with a smile. Julian flicked on the heater and peered out the window. Cars with bright headlights flashed through the darkness that seeped in through glass. His curtain fell over the rushing lights. The warm air circulated in and clung to Noel's oversized sweater.
"Julian?" Noel's voice was tiny and almost a whisper.
"Hmm?" Noel appeared in the doorway and wrapped his slim arms around him.
"I'm scared." Julian's eyebrow furrowed with confusion which also came through in his eyes. He heard much more than was said but he needed reassurance that it wasn't what he perceived.
"Of what?" Long pauses of silence welled up lumps in their throats that blocked their words. Noel was choking on the unsaid words that wedged in his throat.
"I'm scared because I know this, us, it's real. I know that it's wrong… but if it is then I don't wanna be right." His eyes were unmoving and emotionless but his voice held all the tones of sadness… but not regret. Julian smiled and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"I know, I know. I don't want this to be something we regret." Noel shook his head and pulled away. Meaningful and concerned glared were exchanged.
"I don't regret us, I could never regret us. I know exactly what we're doing but I don't give a shit. I fucking love you Julian Barratt Pettifer and if you don't say the same right now some deep juju is gonna go down." Noel giggled and rested his head on his chest.
"I fucking love you." Julian repeated. His heart beat out of his chest as though he was terrified of something. "So, so much." Noel closed his eyes and took in the fresh, warm air. Julian tightened his grip around his waist. Noel's hand slid down the slim contours of Julian's arm and took his hand.
"Good." He grinned and squeezed his hand tightly but not too tight to hurt him.
"Drink?" Julian muttered and grabbed a beer with a free hand.
"Haribo?" Noel muttered and grabbed the haribo bag before winking and chewing on a jelly heart.
A/N: Hope it didn't disappoint and I will update soon. I was so freaking sure I'd updated but I guess not.