Derek had made Spencer three promises when he left him at the hospital in West Virginia, 5 very long weeks ago: he wouldn't visit; he wouldn't call; and he would be there waiting when Spencer was ready to come home. The third promise was easy. The first two he agreed to through clenched teeth and only because the younger man refused to get out of the car otherwise.

He understood that this was something the kid had to do on his own, and he respected the Hell out of him for finally taking his health into his own hands and getting help, but when Spencer had told him he would be gone for three months Derek hadn't realized he meant gone completely.

It was the first time in years Derek recalled enduring more than a handful of days without at least hearing Spencer's voice. It was bizarre and unsettling. It was absolutely agony.

He threw himself into his work, rejoining the team as soon as he had medical clearance, but still much sooner than Hotch would have preferred. He ignored his boss's reprimands. He had to do something…anything…to get his mind off of Spencer Reid, and tracking down maniacs was a fairly solid distraction. At least, it should have been.

A particularly brutal set of murders took them to San Francisco for a week, hunting a group of unsubs who were preying on families, and the team was more than a little sleep-deprived when they finally closed the case and caught a red-eye back to Quantico late on a Saturday night. This was the kind of case Derek relished, as horrible as it was. He needed something that exhausted him beyond the point of coherent thought.

He barely managed to strip out of his clothes and collapse onto his bed before he was dead to the world, the glint of the rising sun just beginning to light his bedroom. He threw the covers over his head and let sleep consume him.

When he heard his cell phone vibrating on the bedside table he was convinced it was part of a dream. He crept a hand out from underneath the blankets and fumbled around until he found the offending device, dragging it back into the darkness and flipping it open. "Morgan," he ground out.

The sound of hitched breathing on the other end of the line immediately jolted him awake and upright, his eyes blinking hard in light. "Spencer?" he asked, his heart in his throat.

He heard nothing but ragged breaths for a moment until, finally, "Derek?" the voice was barely audible, but it was definitely Spencer's.

"What's going on, baby boy?" Derek demanded, forcing himself to keep his voice low and controlled. "What happened?"

"Derek I…" another shuddering breath, "I can't do this anymore."

Derek rubbed his eyes, determined to rid himself of grogginess and try to think at least somewhat rationally. "What happened, baby?" he asked.

"N-nothing. I just…this isn't working. Nothing's working. I want to come home. Will you…will you come get me?"

Derek imagined himself running downstairs and jumping in the car, gunning it all the way to Spencer and holding the kid in his arms for the first time in weeks. He fisted a hand in the sheets to keep himself from leaping to his feet. "Spencer," he said. "If you really want me to come pick you up, you know I will. I won't hesitate. But I want to make sure you're thinking clearly." He glanced at the clock on his bedside table. "It's 6:15 in the morning. Have you been up all night?"

"Y-yes."

"Does anyone know you're calling me?"

"I…um…I snuck into the nurse's office. Her shift doesn't start until 8."

Derek sighed. "Kiddo, you need to tell me what's going on. Are they not treating you well there?"

"No…I mean…they are. I just…I want to come home."

The plea broke his heart and again he had to stop himself from throwing on clothes and racing for the door. "I need you think really hard about this, Spencer. Are they helping you at all? Are things getting better? If you come home before you're ready we're going to have to find another solution and you know that."

He could hear breathy sobs through the phone. "It's just…really hard. And I keep thinking about…about my mom."

"You're not her, Spencer. You know that."

"I just want to be with you."

Now Derek was sure he was going to start crying as well. "I want that too, baby boy. I really do. I can't even put into words how much I miss you. But if you come home before you're ready, you'll regret it. You know you will."

There was a moment of silence before Spencer replied in a quavering voice, "I know."

"You can do this, baby. I know you can. I'm so proud of you…of how strong you've been."

"I don't feel very strong right now."

"You're having a bad moment. It's okay. It happens to everyone. Just know that I'm here. Even if I'm not with you I'm thinking about you every day, all the time. You know that right?"

"Yeah…I think about you all the time too."

"As much as I want you to come home, I don't think it's a good idea right now, and I think you know that."

"I know…I'm sorry."

"There's nothing you have to be sorry for."

"I don't…I don't really want to leave. I'm not ready yet."

Derek closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "I know, sweetheart. But when you are ready I'm going to drive like a maniac to come pick you up. Sirens blaring, the whole nine."

Spencer managed a tearful laugh. "I'm sure Hotch would love that."

"Would be totally worth him giving me grief, I promise you."

"You don't have to break the speed limit or put the sirens on. Just…be here when I'm ready to come home."

"A pack of wild unsubs couldn't keep me away."

Another laugh.

"Feeling better kiddo?"

"A little…yeah. I'm sorry for flipping out. I know you're right."

"Hey, you're the one who made the decision to check yourself in, and you're the one who will know when you're ready to come home. I know that. And I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." Derek could imagine him blushing on the other side of the line.

"Spencer…I know you want to do this by yourself. And I understand why. But there's no reason you have to isolate yourself, especially not from me. I'll always be here for you, baby. And I'll keep proving that over and over until you believe it."

"I think…I think I'm starting to."

"Good. Now get out of that nurse's office before you get in trouble."

Spencer laughed again, and Derek's heart warmed picturing the beautiful smile on the kid's face.

"I love you, Derek."

"I love you too, kiddo. I can't wait to see you. But I'll wait as long as it takes. I'll wait forever for you."

"I promise it won't be that long."

It will just feel that way, Derek thought as he hung up the phone. Every moment away from Spencer was an eternity.

TBC