Chapter Ten
Water filling up his lungs. Dark water, bloodstained water, dying water, all around him, choking him, taking away his breath, taking away his air. Breathe! Breathe!
Thrashing around, flailing, searching for the surface. There is no surface. Swim towards the light! There is no light.
He's gagging. Gagging, and he can't stop it. The hands are holding him down. Push them away! Push them off! Get out! Survival screams at him, as though he can stop it. He never can. He never has
No! Got to get out!
He's gurgling the water now. It's forced its way down his throat. He can't see anymore. The blood water tastes like lead. He can't breathe. The fire in his chest spreads. He's going limp, and he can't feel anymore.
Get out! Get out! His brain is screaming. His body couldn't care.
Let go. Let go. It's whispering, not yelling, but it's so much more persuasive, so much better. Let go.
The fire dies. The world grows black and heavy.
Is this what it's like to die?
Blacker and blacker and farther away.
Dark voice laughs. "Who will miss you when you're gone?"
Sasuke shot out of bed. Body rigid, he gripped the thin covers on the bed for dear life. His chest heaved hysterically, and his eyes bulged out of his head. He was sweating; he could feel the moisture running down his back and soaking into his shirt, and his grip on his covers was wet and unsure. Calm down. His body refused to obey. I can't wake dobe up. Forcefully he slowed his breathing. Haltingly, cautiously, he leaned back down, staring at the ceiling. Its plain white nature was oddly comforting.
It's too early to be up. He knew he should sleep. He also knew he wouldn't be able to. He remained motionless, weighing his options. Like I have an option, he admitted defeat wearily. Pulling his shirt off, he climbed out of bed.
Naruto lay on an identical bed across from Sasuke. The idiot was snoring extraordinarily loudly; Sasuke couldn't believe he had actually slept through the racket that his teammate was creating. I could gag him. Sasuke shook his head. It wouldn't be worth the trouble.
Sasuke cracked open the window in the room and dropped to the earth below. It was early, approaching sunrise, and the light was slowly alleviating the darkness. It was cold, but the temperature was not unbearable, and Sasuke could feel the soft wind whipping away the sweat on his body. It felt insanely and unexpectedly good. He closed his eyes for a minute.
Snore. He grimaced. Snore. Snore. Snnoorree.
That's it, he thought. He climbed up, sneaking back into the small room he was sharing with Naruto. Retrieving his shoes, he crammed them on his feet, doing his best to ignore the obnoxious sound emanating from the bunk beside him. He slipped out the window as easily as he had slipped in. The situation called for an early morning run.
He hit the ground in a run. It wasn't a jog. It was a run, fast and wild and imperfectly paced. He ran, hardly aware of his surroundings, nearly tripping on the uneven ground in his haste. His feet were soon soaked with the morning dew. He didn't care.
Sasuke had found that there was something exhilarating about running. He liked the solitude of it, the exclusive nature of running. He couldn't run with other people; it ruined the effect. Here he was completely alone, away from any intrusions or annoyances or derisions. It was him, his body, and the earth.
He pushed himself harder, increasing his heart rate. His lungs were burning, but it was a good burn, a controllable burn, and entirely different from the burn of drowning.
Images from his nightmare flashed before his eyes, boring into him before he could stop them. The push of the water, the choking, the helplessness-
Involuntarily he shivered. Unlike most people, he had a rational reason for his hatred of water. He'd been four, that wonderful age when all red blooded boys have one common goal: get into as much mischief as humanly possible. His mother had left him in charge of Hiro and Itachi. Normally, Itachi's presence would have compensated for Hiro's, but his older brother was called away on a mission, leaving him in Hiro's hands.
Hiro had had a "to do" list a kilometer long that day. An hour into the list Sasuke was bored. Two hours in he was horrifically bored. By the third hour, he was actively searching for any opportunity to escape.
Naturally, he found one. Hiro had paused on the street to talk to one of the higher-ups in the Konoha Police Force. When it became apparent the conversation would not end quickly, Sasuke had snuck away and headed off on his own.
Mikoto had always been a good mother; not too strict, but cautious enough to protect her children. One of her most stringent rules for Sasuke, after leaving his brother's weapons alone, was "no playing in or around the river".
Of course, the moment he escaped from Hiro he headed for the Nakano River. Even as a four year old Sasuke had had enough common sense to know that he couldn't swim, and that if he couldn't swim he shouldn't go into deep water. However, he had long debated the sense of not playing near the river. After all, if he wasn't in the river, he couldn't drown, could he?
That rationalization led him out of the business district of Konoha and towards the river. It had been deserted that day, and the large tree overlooking the river was a perfect place to play.
What happened next was inevitable. He climbed too high or too far out; his memory had blurred that particular detail. He could clearly remember the sound of the branch breaking, the terrifying sensation of falling, and the blackness when his head collided with something hard and immovable.
He passed out briefly. When he awoke, he was completely submerged. The water was murky, making it nearly impossible to see, and his body felt heavy and strange. Instinctively he tried to call out for help, forgetting his surroundings. The water had flooded his mouth, and he couldn't gather his wits enough to spit it out. His body, already tired from the long day of intensive play, had been deprived of oxygen too long. He did not have the strength, calm, or ability to swim to the surface. Within seconds, the horror of the situation fully dawned on him, and he struggled harder, desperately flailing his chubby child's body in an attempt to free himself.
It didn't work. Despair set in, as oppressive as the water prison. Sasuke had been too young to realize how close he was hovering to death, but instincts told him that this was not good.
He had been lucky that day. Shisui had been necking with his latest girlfriend in an isolated spot near the Nakano, and he had felt the wildly spiking and declining chakra, a veritable distress signal for a shinobi.
One minute, Sasuke was fighting for his life under water. The next minute, he was spewing water on the shore, Shisui's insanely worried face hanging over Sasuke's.
Sasuke rarely reminisced about his unrepeatable near death experience. Only weak, foolish nervous wrecks and insecure fools would do that, he reasoned. The almost drowning had, however, left him with a more than healthy fear of water.
He would swear on his death that he wasn't afraid of water. I just don't like it. At all, he amended. I'm not afraid of it. It's just not pleasant.
Disconcerted by his train of thought, Sasuke stopped his run mere meters away from the house. Leaning against a tree, he fought to regain his breath. The house was busy now; Sasuke could see Tazuna's daughter cooking something in the kitchen. Inari, her child, was carrying on an likely inane conversation.
I wonder if Hatake's up yet, he thought. He was pretty far gone when we brought him here. Kakashi's exhaustion was understandable; extensive sharingan use could tire even experienced Uchiha. He's not supposed to have a sharingan.
Sasuke wasn't surprised to find a thread of lingering resentment. In strict terms, Kakashi's sharingan wasn't fair. The situation was further complicated by Sasuke's glaring deficiency; at twelve, he still had not obtained his sharingan.
Having a prodigy for a brother had many advantages. It also had many disadvantages, especially when almost of his credibility relied on his mastery of the kekkai genkai. While there were many techniques to refine a sharingan, there were none to spontaneously access a previously undeveloped sharingan.
Unless you take Shisui seriously, which no one does, Sasuke thought dryly as he entered the house. When Sasuke had reached his eighth birthday and had not gained his sharingan, Shisui had facetiously (at least, Sasuke thought it was facetious) offered to provide Sasuke with a near death experience to "jolt your sharingan into full activity!" According to Shisui, "it'll work perfectly. Trust me; I'm your cousin. I know this stuff."
The day I put my faith in that premise is the day I die. Even then, years before, Sasuke had been intelligent enough to firmly decline Shisui's proposition.
Sasuke exhaled deeply as he approached the stairs. Tazuna's daughter seemed uncertain, as if she wanted to say something to him but felt uncomfortable conversing with him. Inari had conveniently disappeared.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke looked up. Sakura was perched at the top of the stairs, face beaming happily. "There you are! Kakashi-sensei's awake!"
How the hell can you be so stupidly cheery this early? Sasuke climbed the stairs silently, trailing after his teammate as she bounced back to the room that housed their sensei.
Twenty minutes later Sasuke was still in the same room; however, his thoughts no longer concerned Sakura's attitude.
Zabuza's not dead. I should have realized it. There were signs, of course: the hunter nin's killing technique, a pair of senbon in the neck, and his removal of the body, still entirely intact. I just assumed that he was dead.
Sasuke scowled. It doesn't matter. We beat him once. We can beat him again. In his head, that sounded powerful and certain and sure. It was a confident statement.
If only I believed it. There was one variable in the equation, a variable that Sasuke was all too aware of. If that hunter nin is working with him, we may have to face both of them together.
Beyond the rapid "killing" of Zabuza, Sasuke had not seen the hunter nin in action. He has plenty of chakra, though, and I doubt Zabuza would ally himself with a weak ninja.
Sakura looked just as doubtful, if not more, than he was. That conspicuous, annoying wide smile was gone, and she nibbled delicately on her lower lip as she contemplated their problem. She seemed far more vulnerable when she was quiet.
Don't worry. We'll beat him, Sakura. She spoke up, unaware of his thoughts. "Kakashi-sensei, how can we prepare to face both of them when you're so weak? We barely defeated Zabuza last time with your help."
Your confidence is overwhelming. Kakashi chuckled, a welcome sound in the somber room. "I can still teach you, you know."
Sasuke resisted the urge to glance at Kakashi. It was hard; Kakashi was right beside him, barely a half meter away; but he did not want his perverted sensei to think that he was curious about what this training would entail. Because, after all, he was not curious; Sasuke was not curious. At all.
The team reached a clearing in the woods. Sasuke noticed a faint track of footprints running along the edge of the clearing. Those are mine, aren't they? He didn't remember running through this part of the woods, but then again, he had not been very aware during his morning sprint.
"Alright," Kakashi began. "Training begins now. Let's start with chakra as it is used in all jutsu. Understanding it is essential."
"We already know that," Sasuke interrupted. He literately could not count the number of times he had heard lectures on chakra in the Academy, and that number did not even include the numerous speeches on it he'd received at home. "We already know about chakra and how to use it."
"Yeah! We learned all about cat-rah in the Academy!" Naruto added forcefully.
Thank you, Naruto, That helped our case, Sasuke though sarcastically. "Chakra, you idiot, not cat-rah."
"Shut up, teme!"
Kakashi sighed. "Calm down. Sakura, if you would," he said, gesturing towards her.
Sakura glanced nervously at Sasuke. She could read the barely controlled aggravation. She hesitated for a moment before speaking. She spoke in a droll voice, droning on about the definition of chakra and its uses- all that crap I've heard so many times.
"Right on all points. Iruka did have some exceptional students, didn't he?" Kakashi remarked.
Naruto scoffed. "I don't see the point o fthese complicated explanations. Isn't the point to learn the jutsu?"
"He's right. We already use chakra energy to form our jutsu." Did I just say Naruto was right about something? Wonders never cease.
"Yes, but you haven't mastered it. You've barely scratched the surface of using chakra," Kakashi responded.
The typical scenario ensued: frustrated, Naruto exploded, and Sakura smacked him on the head as punishment. Kakashi waited for the fight to stop.
"Calm down and listen." There was a stern note in his voice. Sasuke turned his attention to his sensei. His teammates copied him.
Kakashi presented them a rather straight-forward challenge. Focus chakra through the soles of their feet and use it to scale one of the trees an exercise designed to improve chakra build-up and control. Directing chakra to the lower extremities can be difficult. Regardless, I can handle this. Attentively, Sasuke watched as Kakashi limped horizontally up the tree as a demonstration. If Hatake can do it inured, I can certainly do it.
Sasuke focused, pushing the chakra to his feet. This should be easy. As he began his ascent he heard Naruto hit the ground hard. It didn't perturb him; Naruto's chakra control had always been abysmal.
Go. He speeded towards the tree, feet charged with chakra. The momentum carried him up at first, but at his tenth step it was exhausted. Damn! I'm going to fall! He slashed at the bark to mark his place and landed carefully on the ground. This is definitely a control exercise. Use too much chakra and it repels you. He eyed Naruto, who had fallen for the second time. And if you use too little, your feet won't grip.
Naruto scampered to his feet and tried again. Wait, something's missing. Naruto's hitting the ground again, Kakashi's shaking his head- where's Sakura? She wasn't at the foot of her tree, and Sasuke didn't see any telltale marks on the trunk that would prove she had been attempting to climb it.
"You know, this really isn't so hard." Sakura. Where is she?
Sasuke tilted his head back, blinking away the blinding sunlight. Sakura was sitting on one of the top branches of the tree. Carefree, she swung her legs back and forth.
"Well well," Kakashi intoned. "It would seem that on top of a complete understanding of chakra, Sakura has perfect control as well." How the hell did she do that? She's better than me and Naruto. A new and disturbing thought hit him. She beat me.
Sasuke was used to being the best in his class. Yes, Itachi was a prodigy, and yes, Sasuke could never compete with his brother. But among his peers, and even among the rest of his talented, family, Sasuke was at the top. And she just beat me. Sakura wasn't from an impressive clan; Sasuke had never heard her family name before, which meant her clan was either extremely small or unimportant; and she did not have huge reserves of chakra like Naruto.
I help her, because I'm stronger than her. She's not better than me. That was the order of the world; Sasuke would begrudgingly help Sakura because of her innate shortcomings in many areas of the ninja arts.
I'll master it. So what if it takes me a few more tries? That means nothing. Grimly Sasuke faced the tree. He focused his chakra again and ran directly at the trunk, ready to conquer it.
Hours later, Sasuke slumped to the ground, exhausted and frustrated. All of his gusto had disappeared. He had been practicing relentlessly for at least several hours, and he had only been able to climb a few meters up the tree. He hadn't lessened his chakra; he wasn't secure enough in his ability to decrease its level without repressing it completely.
Low on energy and chakra, Sasuke slumped beside the tree. Sakura hadn't left the clearing; she was practicing a set of taijutsu strikes on the tree she had scaled earlier. He watched her intently.
Form's good. Right hand strikes are strong, but she's more accurate with her left. Not as strong, though. If they had been alone he would have corrected her. As it was he didn't. No use enticing Naruto into a fight.
Sasuke sighed heavily. How much is dignity worth? Sakura knew how to do it. He wanted to know how to do it. On paper it seemed simple; A + B = C, easy as anything. But paper didn't account for pride, and Sasuke hated appearing weak in anything.
Sasuke eyed the setting sun. It was late. Soon the temperature would drop, the bugs would come out to play and eat, and training would be even more difficult. Sasuke would not surrender until Naruto did, and from the looks of it Naruto was not going to break anytime soon.
Sasuke studied Sakura again. She had stopped, wearied from the strenuous exercise. She faced the tree, supporting her body with her hands. Sweat made her body glisten in the weakening light and soaked her clothes. Her hair was tangled and messy, and her skin was red from the continuous hits. She had no make-up on, and every one of her nails was broken to the quick. Sasuke liked the improvement.
Sakura's eyes met his. She smiled weakly, and he frowned. I should ask her…just get it over with and ask her.
Sasuke rose. Once again, he clasped his hands together and focused his chakra. Once again, he stepped back and threw himself at the tree. Once again, he made it up a few meters before gravity kicked in.
This time, however, Sasuke caught a branch and swung himself up before he could fall. Swiftly he reached up for a higher branch, hoisting himself up the tree.
He could feel Sakura watching him from below, her eyes wide with fascination. He stopped and turned, locking eyes with her. He waited just long enough for her to touch her tree before stretching again for the next branch.
He crouched on a branch approximately halfway up the tree. Somewhere nearby a bird was singing, and for once the trilling noises did not irritate him. A slight breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree and cooled him. He relaxed, calming as he waited for Sakura.
She had taken the hint and followed him up. She was chewing on her lip again. Sasuke snorted at her obvious discomfort.
She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Um, Sasuke-kun? Do you need-"
He cut her off quickly. There was no sense in wasting words.
A/N: No, I'm not dead. I've been really sick with the flu (blah). And I have been having a "why do I even write?" because "no one cares about the story except my imaginary cat Pete! (loud crying noises)" pity party. And yes, this chapter is abominably short. Next time will be better. I think. I'm flying out of state this week, so I'm not entirely sure yet.