Name: Curiosity
Rating: PG-13
Genres: Humor/Fluff
Summary: "Ichigo, why do humans make such a big deal out of sex?"

Author's Notes: THIS is weird. Be warned. Be very warned.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters.Thanks to CrystalRaindrop007 for Beta'ing!

Curiosity

"Ichigo, why do humans make such a big deal out of sex?"

Ichigo choked on the cookie he was eating and his eyes grew wide as Rukia dropped down on his bed and stared into his eyes; he was sitting at his desk, and as small pieces of cookie began to sprinkle all over his homework, Rukia gave him a funny look. She asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he snapped, turning back to his homework and trying to keep the blush off of his face.

"Answer my question."

He groaned as he looked over to see Rukia flip on her back, her bare feet not even reaching the middle of the bed as she laid her head on his pillow and let out a large sigh. Her cheeks puffed out for a second with the air before she turned her face to stare into his eyes again. He quickly tore his gaze away from her and mumbled something under his breath; she didn't hear.

"Huh? Anyway, why do humans make such a big deal about it? Animals and even plants sexually reproduce, but you don't see them making a huge deal out of it."

Ichigo was gaping like a fish as he tried to form words; all that came out were small squeaks. Rukia continued like she didn't even notice.

"It's like, I heard some people nearly 'doing it' in the alley way and they were like, "Oooh, Ryuu!" and "Oooh, Kaori!" ... it was weird."

Ichigo was slowly turning into a full-blown tomato.

"But in school today, we were talking about animals ... did you know that dolphins are the only animals that have sex for pleasure?"

There was no way he was having this conversation with her. None. At all. But as she continued to ramble on, her feet slowly making wrinkle patterns in his quilt, he realized that short of strangling her, there was nothing he could do to make her stop talking. But then, then, she asked the question that made him drop his head on the table with a large 'thunk'.

"Have you ever had sex, Ichigo?"

A quickly sputtered, "No!" was all Rukia needed to go back to rambling; it seemed like she either didn't care of he was listening or didn't notice that he was about to spontaneously combust; his face was red and his brain was desperately trying to ignore her.

"Anyway, when I was growing up, a lot of the older kids had sex to keep warm. How does that work?"

"Don't know."

Why didn't he just tell her to shut up? Oh, yeah; then she would never leave him alone about it because she knew the reaction she would get.

"I wouldn't know, of course, because I never did it, but some girls used to tell me about it. They never made a big deal out of it either, but the girls at school ... wow, now they're a different story. And you never answered my question, Ichigo. Why do humans make such a big deal out of sex?"

Ichigo sputtered, but finally turned to face her. The completely innocent look on her face made him want to scream. Her bright violet eyes were staring into his and her bare feet were now pulled up against her body and her hands were tucked under her head.

"Well ... ah ... go ask my dad."

"OK!"

Ichigo's eyes went wide and he pushed her back down on the bed as she happily jumped up and started to head for the door. He yelled, "No! Just kidding!"

Rukia pouted and crossed her legs as she stared at him. She said, "Then you tell me! Is it really so hard to answer a question like that? The girls at school were going on and on and on about that stuff today; I actually ate some of Inoue-san's lunch when she offered so I could go the nurse to escape the awkward questions they were asking me, as I don't know the first thing about sex."

"Fine, I'll answer if you'll stop talking about it!"

"OK," Rukia agreed, sitting back on the bed and smiling.

"Well ... here on Earth, most people, well, young people, like sixteen and seventeen, don't have sex in order to have children ... like the dolphins - " He felt really stupid saying that. " - They have sex for pleasure."

"I still don't understand the big deal about it!" Rukia said, exasperated, as she flopped back down on the bed. Ichigo went back to his homework, trying to ignore her as she flipped through her Biology book, occasionally commenting on how animals or plants sexually reproduced. Her hair was falling over her eyes, making it impossible for him to see her expression, but he knew that she would probably be frowning the smallest bit with her tongue out the right side of her mouth; she always looked like that when she was concentrating on something.

"You know ... " Rukia began; Ichigo dropped his head on his desk with a loud groan. "The Queen Bee in a hive's only purpose in life is to lay eggs. Laying eggs is a way of reproduction ... so does that mean that she makes a big deal out of sex, too?"

Ichigo hit his head on his desk.

"I - " Hit- "Don't." -Hit- "Know." -Hit-.

"Ichigo?"

"Noo!"

"Huh?" Her eyes were wide at Ichigo's out-burst. "All I wanted to ask was if you had an extra pencil ... "

She trailed off as she stared into Ichigo's face; his eyes were wide and he looked slight traumatized.

"Oops?"

Huh. Weeeird. I had this idea when my sister was complaining about having to learn how plants sexually reproduced. They actually do, you know. Not like we do ... but they do. Anyway ... I do believe that Rukia has never had sex. She might be veeery old, but I doubt that while in the Academy or while she was a Shinigami, she had time to dwell on such things.

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