Name: Alphabet Soup III
Rating: PG
Genres: Romance/Humor
Summary: Squads and babies. Ichigo is assigned a squad and Rukia observes as her child grows inside of her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters.Thanks to CrystalRaindrop007 for Beta'ing!

Alphabet Soup III — Squad Trouble

"What crawled up your butt and died?"

Ichigo turned around so fast that his head spun on his shoulders. He sent a glare that could have melted an iceberg at the red-head standing behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned deeper, now shifting his gaze to the ground.

"Byakuya-freaking-Kuchiki has decided that I need to stay here in Soul Society and has decided to stick me in one of the thirteen squads. I'm waiting to find out which one. I think he's trying to put me on his squad because he wants to kill me."

"Ah ... why does he want to kill ya?"

"How do I know? Maybe because me and Rukia are havin' a kid. I don't know why he's so pissed 'bout it, though. I mean ... it's like ... natural. He also might want to kill me because me and Rukia are getting married in two weeks."

"He hates you, is all."

"Thanks. That makes me feel tons better."

Renji laughed at Ichigo's pout and leaned up against the wall, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. He began to speak and Ichigo raised his eyebrows, half-turning his gaze toward the other man.

"Might not have seemed like it before, but I'm happy for you guys, really. I did love Rukia once upon a time, but she loves you, and you love her ... and I was standing in the way of that. Besides ... there's this new blonde girl on the sixth squad ... "

Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, man, best of luck to you. I've dealt with PMS Rukia before, but I never ever want to deal with a pregnant, hormonal Rukia. You're going to need all the help, emotional and physical, that you can get."

Ichigo groaned, rolling his eyes toward the sky.

"Please, don't remind me. I've already got a small dose of it, and I think I'm going AWOL in about three months."

Renji laughed and the two men stood in silence for the next while until a small, nervous looking girl came out of the main building, holding out a small envelop to Ichigo, squeaking something, and jumping off. Ichigo raised his eyebrows and took it from her, fingering the top but not opening it. Whatever was in the envelope would decide his future and basically decide his fate. If it was sixth squad, he was going to die before he got to see his kid.

Which was not going to be named Byakuya.

Taking a deep breath, he opened it.

Then, the breath was let out happily.

"Thirteenth, huh? That's Rukia's squad," Renji commented, reading over Ichigo's shoulder.

Ichigo's amber eyes were closed in relief as he slumped against the wall. "Can't be too bad, huh? I've seen her captain a few times. Ukitake-san isn't half bad. At least I think I'll live to see the baby."

"By the way ... why are you naming the kid Byakuya if it's a boy?"

"How in the hell did you find out about that?" Ichigo asked, his gaze sharp as it cut into Renji. Said red-head shrugged.

"Rukia was walking around whining about it. I never imagined it would be you who wanted to name the kid after her brother, so there has to be some rational explanation for this."

Ichigo shook his head. "There is, I just don't feel like discussing it. Basically, some freaking family ... thing is going to make us name our son, if it is a son, after Byakuya. I want a girl ... " Ichigo whined, letting his head drop against the wall again. Renji smirked and slapped Ichigo on the back.

"Well, I'm confident you'll work it all out."

"Where are you going?"

"Paperwork I've been putting off for two months ... "

Ichigo sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he began walking off in the opposite direction as Renji; he had a squad to get to know. Boy, this wasn't going to be fun. It would be about as fun as feeding your fingers to a rattlesnake. Yeeeah ...

When he arrived, there was two squabbling people at the door, one yelling loudly and one shrill; both looked like they were fighting for the attention of the white-haired man in the middle of the room. Reaching his fist out, Ichigo knocked on the door once, then twice, until the two people stopped squabbling and turned around. Ukitake smiled at him.

"Kurosaki-kun, hello."

"Hi, Ukitake-san. Um ... did you get the message yet?"

"Yes."

"Ah, well ... um ... " Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and breathed out, looking finally at the floor.

"Welcome to the thirteenth squad, Kurosaki-kun!" the young girl said. "I'm Kotetsu Kiyone!"

"H-Hello ... "

"I'm Kotsubaki Sentarō" the man chimed in, walking up and bowing. Ichigo looked surprised as he walked further inside. Ukitake smiled and waved him over.

"So ... what exactly do I do here?"

"Well, you were placed on fifth seat, and in time, you might move up, but for now ... mostly missions, probably to Earth, and paperwork."

"Joy."

"Well, I'm happy to say you're moving along fine. At four months, your baby is as big as he should be and you're taking care of yourself just fine." Unohana smiled and Rukia nodded happily, her hand pressing to her swelling stomach. Her baby was growing; she was now showing without mistake, and it being summer meant thinner clothing and more people knowing.

"Ah. Thank you, Unohana-san."

"But I would like you to take some vitamins just because it'll help the baby. You're past your first three months, which are the main time for a possible miscarriage, so you're in for the long-haul."

"I know. I'm happy about this."

"I can tell. How is Ichigo taking it?"

"Huh? Oh, well he's ecstatic. Can the baby really hear him when he talks for hours on end?"

The look on Rukia's face suggested that she hoped not, so she could tell Ichigo to stuff it. Unohana laughed gently.

"Maybe, maybe not. It's good he's taking such an interest in the baby, though."

"I know. It's fun. He's hoping for a girl though, he really doesn't want to name his first baby after my brother. I think it's because they never really got along. I don't think Ichigo had really ever let Nii-sama go about not fighting for me when I was on death row."

"Probably. I don't know that I could, in his position, either. Anyway, you are free to leave now."

"Thanks. I have to meet Ichigo soon, so I should be leaving soon," Rukia said, taking the small bottle of vitamins that Unohana offered her and listening while the doctor explained how she was to take them. Rukia nodded, understanding, then walked out her hand laid on her stomach. The bottle went into her pocket and her eyes glowed in the afternoon light. Her hair blew around her as the wind flowed through her body and she smiled.

Her small feet carried her across the soft ground, and she just kept walking, not sure where she was going. She just wanted to be outside.

"Oi, Rukia!"

Rukia turned around to see Renji walking up to her, smirking. She waved and grinned.

"Renji, what are you doing here?"

"Avoiding paperwork. I'm surprised your brother hasn't killed me yet. How did your appointment go?"

"Not really an appointment, Renji. I just went to talk with Unohana-san to ask her something, and she decided to check things out. Our real appointment is in three days."

"Oh, right."

They were launched into an awkward silence while Rukia just stared at the ground and absently rubbed her stomach. She finally began speaking. "Renji, when did we stop being friends like we used to?"

"We neve-"

"Yes, we did. We never even talk much more. I hate it. Can't we be friends again, Renji, please?"

Her violet eyes met his and they were soft and questioning. Renji shrugged, nodding. "Sure, Rukia. 'Course we can be friends. But ... I think we'll have to work on it. I barely even know you anymore. I wish we had never fallen apart, Rukia, because I ... " Renji paused. "Because I still loved you back then, and if we hadn't fallen apart, could it possibly be me you loved?"

"I did love you Renji, once. And if I had never met Ichigo ... I still might. But, even though he's rash and stupid when he's trying to protect someone, I still love him, and he holds my heart, Renji."

Renji smiled.

"He holds more than your heart, Rukia."

"Huh?"

He had confused her again. A questioning look was on her face as he reached out and touched her stomach gently. She looked down, surprised, as his large fingers ran over the swollen skin through the fabric of her robes. She smiled and hugged him, then pulling back, she said, "Thanks, Renji."

"I didn't do anything, but I'll always be here for you, you know."

"I know, Renji. And thank you for that. And, on another note, where in the world is Ichigo?"

"Thirteenth squad office. I think ... he might already be gone."

"I'll go check. Bye Renji!"

"C'ya, Rukia."

Rukia walked off happily, and Renji shook his head. Two idiots in love, and another idiot on the way. He really hoped that Ichigo and Rukia's kid turned out alright. With parents like that, you never knew.

"Ichigo, where in the world have you been?"

Hands were on her hips and her lips were set in a firm line as Rukia glared at Ichigo, who was standing in their doorway. His bright amber eyes were wide and he box he was holding in his hands almost dropped; she'd surprised him. Smiling, he walked over and sat down on the bed beside her, rubbing her stomach before handing her the box. After she had taken it from her hands, he laid his head near her stomach and said,

"Uh oh. Mommy is mad, huh? Daddy was only gone for a while."

Rukia smirked and twisted her fingers in Ichigo's hair as she opened the box with the other hand.

"Maybe mommy will like the necklace daddy got her."

Rukia smiled as she fingered the necklace in the box; it was on a complete silver chain, and the small, diamond teardrop that hung in the middle glinted off of the sun.

"Am I forgiven?" Ichigo asked, reaching up and kissing her on the cheek. Rukia nodded.

"Alright. Thanks, Ichigo."

"You're welcome."

Rukia gave Ichigo a kick to the shin and he winced.

"What was that for?" he asked, frowning as she handed him the necklace to put on her.

"That was for coming home late."

"Hey! I was only late because I was gettin' you this," Ichigo whined, clipping it around her thin neck. Rukia smiled. She said slowly, "I know," and then kissed him. "That's your reward."

"That's all?"

Another kick.

Hmm ... insanity. But I felt like I needed to tell what squad Ichigo got and then fix up Renji and Rukia's relationship so he could be in this series without being a bad guy.

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