Hi guys! Update yay! Here's chapter 4, sorry if it sucks, I kinda wrote it in only like an hour. I had a busy day but I wanted to update.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Degrassi and Phil of the Future, but I don't.
Chapter 4
Saturdays: one of the best days in the week. Today started out like any other Saturday. It was perfect until the end.
Eli had called me, after I got home from Alli's, wanting to hang out. Without thinking I said yes. The first thought that came to my mind was 'yay I get to spend a whole day with Eli!' I guess my subconscious mind read my heart and spoke for me. Once I hung up, my second thought was, 'great, what did I just get myself into?'
The entire day and night, would be a battle between my heart and my brain. While my heart says 'be with him,' my brain will say 'stay away from him.' Because I like him so much, I don't want to risk hurting him. I would hate to have fallen in love with Eli and then the time machine is fixed and I would have to leave him. It was all so confusing.
At around 12 noon, Eli picked me up in his black vintage hearse and we drove to the Dot for lunch.
"What's on your mind? You seem distracted," he asked with concern as we sat at a table.
"Huh? Oh, nothing," I told him trying not to look at his gorgeous green eyes.
"Oh sure it's nothing…" he knew there was something on my mind.
"Don't worry about it," I told him and he must've understood since he dropped the question as a waiter came by and we ordered our drinks and meals. Eli was really considerate in that way, where he won't push an issue because he respects the other's feelings.
Later, we went to a movie and things lightened up for me. I let him break through my wall as we joked and laughed together. It was uncanny how easy it was for me to have a great time with him no matter what. Trying to shut him out and not let him in to take my insecurities away was hard, and once I did, he made me feel like I was the only girl in his world.
Soon after the movie ended, we headed over to the park. We walked around for a little but stopped at the pond. We sat in the grass staring at the water until we started talking again.
The sun was setting and his face caught the light of the magnificent colors, making him glow. The rays illuminate every perfection and detail in his face. His radiant look made him even more irresistible. As the battle of my heart and my brain heated up, my heart took the victory. Everything seemed perfect as I leaned in to kiss him.
Our lips touched, but nothing more. I felt a spark and deeply wanted to fully continue the kiss. However it was me who backed away.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of," I started but looked down. I was feeling so many different things. Regret, that I wanted to finish the kiss. Disappointment, that I almost went against everything I told myself. Cowardness, that I wouldn't let myself take any risks. And most importantly, sorrowful, that I was most likely leading him on and playing with his emotions.
"Don't be sorry," he said. He was happy that it almost happened, upset that I backed away, and confused about why I backed away.
"No I should be. I lead you on," it was a combination of the truth and lies. I really liked him and wanted to kiss him, but I know my limits and this was pushing it.
"Clare, do you like me?" he just flat out asked.
"Of course I like you,"
"I mean, like me as more than just a friend?" I didn't know what to say, so I kept my head down to avoid eye contact. I couldn't lie or tell the truth, so I remained quiet, and listened to him continue, "Clare, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see you. You're the only girl that I never know what to say to. You make me nervous every time I talk to you, that I'll say the wrong thing. Every time you're around, everything seems exactly the way it should be; perfect. I can't help, but get this stupid grin on my face whenever I spend time with you. There's something between us, Clare, and I don't know what it is, but you can't tell me you don't feel it to." I did feel it; all of those things. A tear rolled down my cheek Hearing the way he felt about me only made me want to be with him more.
Finally I looked up at him only to stare into his genuine eyes. They bore into mine as he grabbed my face and wiped away my tears. I took a deep breath in, "Eli, you're right; there is something here and I like you a lot, but…" I trailed off.
"But what? If you want to be with me, then be with me. What's stopping you?"
"We just can't be together," I quietly let out.
"Clare, please tell me what's wrong. Why can't we be together?" he asked distressed. I just looked down again staring at anything that wasn't him. He continued, "You're hiding something. What is it?"
"I can't tell you," I whispered sadly.
"You can tell me anything, don't you trust me?"
"I do, but…" I couldn't continue because I was cut off.
"But nothing. Obviously you don't or you would tell me and we could get over this," more tears started cascading down my face as I watched him storm off angrily, until his image faded away in the darkness.
The dark obscure sky seemed to have formed a blanket around me as I hid under the covers to away from the world. I focused solely on what just happened. How was I going to make this up?
Shortly after sitting there alone, wallowing to myself, I went home. Monday morning was going to be rough…