Thanks to my wonderful readers and please please REVIEW!

Warnings: Self harm, swearing and bullying
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
Beta: Little Miss Artist
Word count: 2,100
Chapter: 12/21
Next Update: Monday

Textus

Chapter 12: Deserving A Break

"Damn, Sammy, you look like a friggin zombie!" Dean proclaimed as Sam walked in the next morning. Sam shot Dean the best glare he could create while still half asleep.

"Boys, hurry up! Sam, you need to be to school in ten minutes and Dean, you need to be to work in fifteen. I have to meet Christian in half an hour and I'm not going to get there on time if you don't hurry your asses up!" John yelled.

John had to meet some hunter who lived nearby to talk about where they thought the werewolf was residing, but he needed the car so he'd agreed to give Sam and Dean a ride to school and work respectively.

Sam had to admit, he did look like some living dead creature that morning. After staying up all night there were dark circles under his eyes and his face was pale.

"I want you both back by four-thirty and not a minute later, you two are going to start training tonight," John said as they stepped into the car.

"Yessir," they both replied dutifully.

"Sam, once you get out of school for the day why don't you swing your ass over to the garage and we'll trek home together," Dean suggested.

"Yes," Sam said, a little too quickly judging by the surprised and slightly suspicious look on Dean's face. "That sounds good," Sam said at a regular pace to make up for his mistake.

"Did you hear that someone broke into the library?" Dean asked conversationally while leaning over the back of his seat to see his brother. If Sam had been eating he would have choked.

"W-what?" he stammered. Hopefully he heard wrong…because in reality it had been him that had left the library door unlocked.

"I know, right? I was like 'what the heck?' I mean seriously, what's to steal in a library?"

"Dean, they do have money at a library, you know. Donations and overdue fees and stuff," Sam said.

"Well, whatever. Apparently the woman who worked there that night forgot to lock the door or something-"

"They didn't fire her did they?" Sam demanded with wild eyes. If she was fired it be all his fault! He'd have to go and confess to sneaking into the library and…

"Geez, Sam, what'd you join the Campaign for Librarian Rights or something? Why do you care?"

"No," Sam, quickly looking out the window, "it's just…maybe the situation was out of her control…"

"Whatever you say…" Dean said slowly.

The entire day was much better than most of the previous ones. Sam not only managed to avoid Mike and his goons, but he also nailed his history project and got his first A+ of the year. A couple more like that and he'd have an A+ for the semester. Mrs. Chambers had caught up with him and asked him if he had thought more about the art show, which he replied that he was still unsure.

Sam had taken to carrying his sketchpad with him. Every once and a while Sam would get the desire to draw. And he clung to that feeling like a dying man. He wanted to draw…he wanted to want to draw…and he wanted to have his sketchpad at the ready so whenever – and wherever – the desire to draw hit, he'd be able to use his talents to their fullest and enjoy it. In the pocket on the inside of the cover of his sketchpad, he had the pieces of the ripped up drawing as well as the flyer from the art show. It was like he was trying to convince himself that drawing was still important to him.

Once the final bell rang, Sam headed over to the garage, happy to know at least today, he'd make it home in one piece.

"Hey, Sam, give me five minutes," Dean said when Sam entered. Sam sat down in one of the padded waiting chairs for people to sit in while their car was being done. Dean finished ringing up the customer then punched out.

The walk was relatively silent, neither really sure what to say after all the awkwardness as of late. Dean was the first to break the silence with a less than pleasant question.

"Who are those dudes over there?" Sam followed Dean's view to see Mike, Stubble and Blondie standing around. Sam paled. They were waiting for him to walk past.

Well they'd just have to wait another day.

"Some morons from school," Sam said, trying not to let his bitterness show. The three just stared as Sam and Dean walked past, though Mike was obviously trying to size Dean up while giving Sam the Evil Eye.

After they were just past the three, Sam glanced back. Mike leaned forward and half-mouthed, half-whispered, "Got yourself a bodyguard, didya?" quietly so only Sam could hear. If Dean hadn't been there – which of course, if Dean wasn't there the situation would have been much different anyway – Sam would've given him the finger, but that would've drawn Dean's attention to the fact that Sam had a personal grievance with them.

Sam knew the next time he ran into them, he'd pay double, but for now he was fine and that was what mattered at the moment.

"So you ready for some training?" Dean asked as they neared the house. Sam groaned, having forgotten about training that afternoon. It was going to be much harder with his injuries. His cracked rib was still wrapped to the best of Sam's abilities, but who knew what hellish exercises John had in store.

"Hey, boys, get yourselves warmed up because we're starting as soon as possible," John said as soon as they walked through the door.

"Well nice to see you too," Dean said good-naturedly. Sam and Dean headed to their respective rooms to change and then started warming up their muscles.

Sam managed to make it through the push-ups without too much pain. He balanced his weight on his right arm, barely putting any on his left, so his wrist was only slightly throbbed. Curl-ups, however, were entirely different. Sam didn't even get through two before he was laying on the ground, panting while dark spots danced across his vision.

"Sam?" Dean's head appeared in front of Sam's line of sight. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, 'm just tired," Sam said.

"You did look awfully sleepy this morning," Dean agreed. Sam thanked whatever higher being was up there that Dean bought it due to his previous appearance that morning.

"Hold on, one sec, I'm going to talk to Dad," Dean said before disappearing from Sam's view. Sam felt a flare of annoyance. Of course Daddy's good little soldier couldn't do a single thing without Dad's permission.

But that wasn't really fair, Sam told himself, Dean was doing the right thing in the situation. John would know better, besides if Sam stopped training, even for an injury, without telling him he would be ten types of mad. Though on the other hand…would John really let him stop training just because he was tired? Dean didn't know the other problems.

Suddenly Sam wanted to know what they were saying. What where they saying about him? Were they saying he was weak for not being able to do it? Was Dean complaining that Sam now was not the little brother he had always loved? He had to know what they really thought.

Sam tentatively rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself up onto his knees. He crept over to the door and stood to right, so if the door did open, he'd be behind it. He pressed his ear up to the crack and closed his eyes, trying to picture the scene.

…just tired?" John was saying.

"I don't know, Dad, I'm really getting worried about him," Dean said sincerely.

No don't say it, don't say it, Sam prayed. Don't tell him about the bloody nose…

"Is there something you're not telling me?" it wasn't accusatory, more curious.

"Well…the other day…when I came home…"

"Dean," John warned him to get on with the point.

"Well remember that bruise on his nose? Well the night before when I got home, he had a bloody nose and I mean a very bloody nose," Dean said, trying to get across just how bad it had been. "Like he was soaked in blood, Dad."

"Damnit, Dean! Why didn't you tell me?"

"If it was something really serious, he'd come to us, Dad, you know that."

"I'm not sure I do," John said curtly.

"Look, Sammy's waiting for me. I just wanted to let you know I don't want him training today-"

Sam could practically see John's face when Dean said that. His eyes would narrow and his lips would thin into a tiny line. He knew what Dean had said would irritate John even though in reality, it made sense. John had long ago given up the position of care-giver for Sam. If anyone should get final say whether Sam was in fit enough condition to train, it should be Dean.

"Dean, I am his father…" There was tense silence in which Dean and John would be staring at each other, trying to figure out how to prove their own point right.

"Well the weapons do need to be cleaned. Sam can do that today and that'll be good enough for now," John finally conceded.

For some reason, the thought of cleaning the weapons made him frustrated with them and himself. Oh, poor little Sammy who couldn't handle real training. Did they think he was too weak to do it or something? He could…but it'd take him longer because of the intense pain it caused in his chest. Why couldn't he be just a bit tougher like his brother? Dean never let any sign of pain past his infallible mask. He could tough it all out no matter how hard it was.

Sam only barely had enough time to leap out of the way and dash back outside before the door flew open and Dean walked out. Sam sat down in his position from before and watched as Dean came over to him.

"Well, Sammy, it's your lucky day!" Dean said cheerily. Sam knew it was just a façade. He was probably thinking how ashamed he was that his little brother couldn't handle a tiny bit of pain. "Dad says you can clean the weapons instead of physical training today, little bro!" Dean held out a hand and helped Sam to his feet.

Sam followed Dean like a dog on a leash into the living room.

"I'm gonna go finish outside, I'll be back in a bit," Dean said. Sam grabbed the various weapons and laid them out on the coffee table.

First he started with the various sawed-offs. It was slow work, but had to be done. Sam had to admit, he did feel better now that he wasn't doing physical work. He felt slightly guilty for thinking ill of Dean about it. Really, Dean just doing what he thought was in Sam's best interest.

Once the sawed-offs were done, Sam started in on the hand guns. They were simpler to do and Sam took much less time to get through them than the longer weapons. Next Sam started on the knives.

But there was still one missing from the bunch. That one was under the sink.

He'd have to go get it. If John or Dean came in and saw that one of the knives was mysteriously missing, there'd be too many questions.

Besides, he would only benefit from sharpening and cleaning his knife. It'd make things easier. Sam's eyes flickered over to the entrance to the kitchen in which he knew John was working on something in his journal. If he could just make it to the bathroom without drawing John's attention…

Sam gently got to his feet then slowly crept towards the bathroom. He stopped on the edge of the kitchen entrance. He just had to get past the doorway, after that it'd be a piece of cake.

"Sam, is that you?" John called. Sam closed his eyes and cursed himself.

"Yup, just going to the bathroom," he called.

"Alright, well hurry up on the weapons, I want them done before dinner at six thirty!" John replied. Sam melted with relief. He walked purposely down the hall, making sure not to sound like he was creeping about. He flicked on the light and closed the door. After silently counting to sixty seconds, he flushed the toilet and slipped the knife from under the sink and into the waistband of his pants. After washing his hands, Sam walked quickly back and set the knife down with the others.

Sam began systematically cleaning each one. Each blade sparkled with cleanliness and the edges were sharper than ever.

He'd have to do it again soon.

TBC…

Review Replies: Sorry they're short, don't have much time at the moment.

supernaturalrenegade: Glad you liked the last chapter, I'm quite happy with how it came out. Dean's sort of helping but not in the way Sam needs. And yes, John is such an ass. Decided it was time I wrote something where he was far more antagonist. Sam won't last much longer, I assure you :)

jennytork: The clue bus is just around the block, rest assured. Glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing!

Cartoon Cow: Did it go well? Is there a certain medium you like best? Thanks for reviewing!

1xadzxy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG: Aww, that's so nice *Blushing* I know right? Got to be frustrating trying to protect someone who won't let you. I do so enjoy breaking my readers hearts :) Thanks for your awesome review and sorry I don't have more time to give a longer reply!

NetMyne01: I love that feeling too and I'm so happy that my story was one that made you take notice! I'll send Sam your hug! Thanks for reviewing!

Hummingfox: Well it certainly doesn't look good for poor Sammy! Dean and Sam's relationship is always so much fun to play with because they feel so guilty about anything they do to each other! Thanks!

Gord and V: Thanks. The tension between Sam and Dean is so much fun to play with because sometimes they really go at each other and then they feel all guilty.

I'm no lady: I'm not sure if you're reading this or not, but if you are I'm sorry you feel that you have to leave :( Thanks for your encouraging words and defense of me.

Where the wind blows: You didn't think I'd let Sam get by without a nightmare did you? Oh no, I'm way too mean for that! Anyway thanks!

judyann: I figured you'd be less than happy with Dean, but he'll be back to the brother we all know and love in due time. I love getting you readers all curious about events to come ;)

Sammy4evacausehesawesome: Who doesn't love kickass Dean? My muse controls me and I must obey, so I have no control over what poor Sam does unfortunately. Though my muse does enjoy revenge and nicely tied up endings so you do have that to look forward to!

MysteryMadchen: Oh, you're not the only one who's curious. It's fun to play with you guys a bit (all in good fun) and see where the readers think I'm gonna take it. More limp Sam to come, I promise (how can I not have more? I love limp Sam so dearly especially in teenchester form!)

OutTonightAndForever: That's one of my favorite lines too. It like represents the whole Winchester sappy moment rules. Aw, you're making me blush! Feel free to ramble, I quite enjoy reading it.

Sparkiebunny: Thanks!