A/N - Okay, anybody who thinks fics need to be logical, turn back! Seriously, I warn you now. Because Bethany leaves the Gallows after being taken to the circle, Fenris actually gets along with Bethany, and it rains. *gasp* I know, rain and Fenris getting along with a mage, it makes utterly no sense!
Seriously though, in a banter with Anders, he says that he doesn't mind, if Hawke is a mage, Mage!Hawke or, if Bethany is alive and Hawke is not a mage, Bethany. So it's not that out of character. Now you know the drill, read and review and enjoy.
Chapter Two – The Red Ribbon
The door to Rin Hawke's bedroom shut with a quiet slam when she kicked it closed, the lock instantly clicked. It was quiet other then for the sound the rain drops that pelted against the window with thunder sounding in the distance. She kicked of her shoes and they landed near the fire place to dry. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed. Nothing would ever be the same, never.
"I'm the idiot, not him." she muttered, stripping off her soaking clothes and going to the wardrobe for her night gown. If she hadn't pushed him, hadn't kissed him, hadn't done what she did, then maybe they could be friends still without any complications. But she had, and now, she had no idea what he thought of her, of what was to come and happen, or how things would go them there.
After a few hours of sitting on her bed, her eyes starring at nothingness, she had gotten up and dressed before running outside to get away from the lonely and empty room, but then it had began to pour down rain. For two hours she wandered in the soaking wet weather, for three hours she stood leaning on an estate wall before slowly making her way home, the rain masking her tears, the thunder drowning out her screams, her sobs and her moans.
Rin held up her left wrist, a soaking wet red ribbon still tied around it, and it wasn't coming off, not now, not ever. The meaning meant so much to her. Some would tell her it's just a ribbon, it can be replaced, but no, those people would be wrong, it was more then that.
"Wasn't this supposed to say we were bound in a way? Wasn't it supposed to mean something? To mean that you loved me just as much as I love you..." she whispered, quickly slipping off her bra and sliding into the white silken night gown. A flash of lightning shown in the corner of her eye and she spun around. "Fenris?" she asked, but no reply. Damn it, the light had just fooled her, that's all. The rogue buttoned up her night gown before falling onto her bed, face down in a pillow, tears still streaking her cheeks.
There was a knock on the door and she raised her head, looking at the heavy wooden door. She blinked before she spoke, her voice filled with sorrow, loss, irritation and agony. She felt so alone and it hurt to speak at times.
"Who ever it is, go away! I'm not in the mood to talk!" she yelled. No reply came for a few moments, the only sound was her own breathing and the rain drops pelting the window with soft thumps.
"Rin, it's me." a familiar voice told her, trying to open the door but the lock held strongly. Rin got to her feet quickly and dashed to the door, unlocking it before pulling it open with a gust of air blowing her soaking wet hair out of her face.
"Bethany! But you...the circle...what the...how are you here?" the rogue asked confused, starring at the young mage. She had seen the Templars take Bethany to the Circle after returning from the Deep Roads, how was she here? The Templars never let a mage in the circle leave from the Gallows, did they?
"Mother told me something was wrong and managed to get a few Templars to escort me here. I don't know how but she did it." Bethany shrugged. "And Bodahn said you were out in the rain for five hours. What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Rin lied. Bethany put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a stare with her brownish gold eyes.
"That's bullshit, you and I both know it is. Please, maybe I can help." she suggested. Rin sighed and signaled for her to sit on the bed before closing the door again. Just like many times before she found herself talking to her sister about this, Bethany may have been her little sister, but she gave pretty good advice. The two Hawke girls sat next to one another on the edge of the bed in silence before Rin began to explain.
"Alright, I...it's complicated." the rogue took a deep breath. "Remember the night before I went to the Deep Roads? When you and I had just had a good time and drank ale and all, and when we started talking about the people I had as companions." she paused and Bethany nodded. "Well, then you remember what I said about each of them. I suppose you could say, I did get a night with him, but he leaves because memories flash and it hurt, I guess. It broke m heart, and I don't know what to do. I still have to deal with him, you know, I mean, we see each other every day."
"Just don't talk about it for now, let the wound heal before you make it bigger just for answers, that you might not even get. Okay, that sounded better in my head. But you know what I mean. If you pry, you could drive him away, and we both know that's the last thing you want, right?" Bethany told her. Rin nodded and tucked her brown hair behind her ear, suddenly Bethany reached out and grabbed her wrist. "What's this, sister?"
"Oh shit. Would you believe me if I said it's just a ribbon?" she asked. Her sister frowned. "Okay, okay, it's...a favor, like a bind, alright. I ripped the ribbon that father gave me with a doll, and I kept half but gave half to him. And nothing anybody can say will get me to take it off, maybe he did leave me, but I still care, so there for, it doesn't come off!"
"How sweet." Bethany murmured. "Rin, I want to tell you something real quick, since they aren't allowing me to stay long. Just remember this, no matter what, I am sure this will all work out for you in the end, I am sure of it. And know that you are the best sister anybody could wish for, so take care, okay?" the two girls stood and hugged one another.
"Thank you, Beth, I...I bet your right. And your just as well the best sister. I will but you have to make the same promise, alright?" Rin replied. Bethany gave a nod before leaving. "So many people just walk out, don't they?" she whispered when she shut the door behind her sister. "Why did anything have to happen like this?"
Rin leaned her back against the door. Nothing ever really went right for her. Her father was dead, her brother was dead, her mother was trying to marry her off, her sister was in the Circle, and the one she loved since she had met him had left her. Like it mattered anymore, that was the past, it was time for her to move on. But could she? That was the question.
He shouldn't have left her, what he did was cowardly and stupid. She probably hated him now, damn it. He felt foolish, he knew that much at least.
The rain drenched him as he stood outside the mansion he called his house. Fenris hadn't felt like going inside yet, because if he did, then he'd fall over and most likely die. He had gone to apologized to her and then they were kissing, soon up in her room. What was he supposed to do now? She still had things to do, and she always had him with her. What if she came to speak with him? It would be an awkward mess, if not worse. Everything between them was broken, and all thanks to him.
He looked to his wrist, to the soaking wet ribbon she had gifted him. The elf smiled softly, her kindness was more then he deserved.
"Venhedis." he muttered with a sigh, shaking his head. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed. Maybe it would hit him, maybe that would be better then the moment right now.
Earlier, he could hear screams, now they were gone, and he had known exactly who it was; Rin Hawke. He had peeked around one of the walls and seen her, thugs going after her as she wandered the soaking hightown streets. His fault, it was all his fault.
He looked around the wall again, eying the estate. Two templars exited with a mage before them. Her robes were those mages wore in the circle and he golden eyes were full of worry, he could tell. Her build was that similar to Hawke's, it must have been Bethany.
Fenris wanted to go over and talk to her, he never had minded the young mage, though she was a mage, she was no magister, and he actually kind of liked her, she was like her sister, so kind and caring. But what was she doing in hightown?
"Elf!" she called, waving a hand at him. Damn, she had seen him looking at her. "Come on, I know you're there." she added. He shifted and came out of hiding, she was already coming over to him, her arms crossed, staff clanking against the hard, wet ground. She stopped in front of him and her golden gaze was hard, almost scary.
"You hurt Rin. She told me." Bethany said. Fenris was silent, not knowing exactly what to reply. "Listen, I want you to fix it. I don't care what you do, but fix it. Her heart is broken and I hate seeing my big sister like that. She hurts, and you are responsible."
"I know I am, and I feel completely foolish for leaving. I want nothing more then her happiness, know that. But I do not know how to fix this mess. She hates me, doesn't she?" he asked. Bethany shook her head.
"She may be upset, but she doesn't hate you, no." the mage paused. "Just...please be careful with her, ever since out father and brother died, she's been more fragile then before. She blames herself for their deaths, and with me in the circle, she feels worse for not protecting me." she paused. "She is lonely, and she is trying to protect mother because she feels if she doesn't, mother will end up like our father and brother. Please, just promise me you'll try to fix this. Magic can heal physical wounds but not mental wounds, only feelings can. And I know that nobody else can help her, she won't let them help, it has to be you." it was silent between them for a few moments.
"Miss Hawke, we need to get you back to the gallows." one of thee templars told her. Bethany turned and gave a nod before letting them lead her away. Fenris stood there for a few more moments in the pelting rain before heading back the way of his borrowed mansion. He had no clue how he was going to face Rin, but he knew he had to at some point, and soon. No matter how much he felt like a cowardly fool, he had to make it up to her, no matter what it took and even if it took him years, or even cost him his life, he would make it up to the rogue who had given him so much.