Chapter Four
Deep sleep was a rare occurrence in Sesshomaru's extremely long life. Even inside strongholds youkai were sleeping light, remaining aware of their surroundings to prevent any possible attack. That night his sleep was soundless but dreamless. He reasoned it was because of his condition, then anything, anybody else.
Sesshomaru was awakened by a strong smell of burning fire. As it turned out Kagura cleared the fireplace from rubble and managed not only to light up a fire, but to put a kettle which looked to contain some sort of food in it.
"You will need a major clean up when you leave here. Your former white outfit resembles more Inuyasha's red clothes from all the blood," Kagura remarked conversationally, stirring whatever was boiling in the kettle.
"It will fade with time. How did you know this Sesshomaru was already awake?"
"I felt this piercing gaze on the back of my neck, meaning you are displeased with something once again. Even you can't be angry and asleep at the same time." Kagura's explanation was accompanied by an impish grin she didn't wait to show Sesshomaru. "I've gathered some mushrooms and berries from the nearby forest. Also some herbs for tea. You are welcome to join me."
"I don't eat human food."
"I doubt it your invincibility will be compromised by consuming some normal food. Just to keep me company. What youkai eat anyway? Beside corpses and humans that is."
Sesshomaru stood up, with slight, but only slight difficulty, as Kagura noted, and started walking towards the fire. On the way to his destination lay two thick wood beams that held the roof in their better days. With one hand Sesshomaru tossed them out through the half ruined roof.
"You seem to be recovering," Kagura commented, unable to hide her awe. She heard stories about youkai inhuman abilities while she was growing up, but never witnessed it firsthand. And it was really impressive. No wonder ordinary women fell for them- Stop! What was she thinking?
Sesshomaru sat down cross-legged by the fire, looking somewhere into the distance, good thing the wall wasn't obstructing his view.
"Here," she said tired of the silence, handing Sesshomaru a large putamen with semi-transparent liquid. He took it, but continued to stare. "Do you know who Shippo is?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Well, I heard Inuyasha's sons talking about him and how they missed him and the like."
"Why do you want to know?" Sesshomaru asked again in the same bored voice.
"Because if we don't talk, I'll die of boredom, dammit! That's why!" Kagura exclaimed in irritation, putting her putamen too forcefully onto the floor, thus splashing tea onto her kimono. "Now look what you've done!" she complained with a childish pout.
"We will talk when you grow up."
Kagura stared at the stain for some time, but then simply ripped out the dirty part of the cloth, which led to ripping off almost the whole front part of the kimono below the waist. "At least you are willing to talk to me, that's really growing up on your part. Hey! Where are you going?" Kagura cried only now noting Sesshomaru's movement from the fireplace to the door – his movements were completely silent.
"Where you shouldn't follow."
Kagura obviously ignored the warning. She followed him from afar, fully knowledgeable that he was aware of her presence, but she didn't give a damn. Kagura asked herself why she was so curious about the youkai every hour she spent near him. He was an enigma, but surely not for her to solve. She could always ask Tanaki about the youkai world, she didn't have to follow one around. But Sesshomaru seemed to be special somehow. Not because he was taiyoukai, but because of something else. Kagura just couldn't define it. Maybe because he didn't act like any taiyoukai should?
Her musings were interrupted by Sesshomaru coming to a halt. The green whip lashed out and came around the neck of a deer. The deer – a large male, probably the leader of the pack – didn't even attempt to fight back; it must've understood the fruitlessness of any try, understood who was in front of him.
The next sequences of events happened in mere seconds and made Kagura seriously regret her not remaining in the hut. Sesshomaru's hand crashed into the deer's chest and reappeared a moment later with a heart in it. It was still beating. Even before the lifeless animal fell onto the ground Sesshomaru's extended fangs sank into the flesh, blood dripping over his long pale fingers.
"Oh Kami-sama," escaped Kagura's lips followed by her light breakfast.
"I told you to stay," Sesshomaru uttered calmly, crimson blood still running from the corner of his lips. "We are who we are. Humans are weak; they mask themselves with different layers to hide their true identity. And those who don't are too naïve to dispose of the layers of others. Youkai are always what they are – bloodthirsty beasts who will always kill for survival. Nothing can change that."
"A youkai who protects humans is not a youkai anymore. It means he has turned soft, weak." There was no malice in Kagura's words, just a statement of fact. As if she wasn't talking about Sesshomaru personally, as if asking him about his opinion on the subject, as if he wasn't called weak by a mere human woman. "Who are you then?"
"What is your destiny, Kagura?"
"As a woman my destiny is to take care of a household, be a respecting wife and a caring mother. As a raped woman my destiny is to be lost in shame and revenge. As a resurrected person my destiny is to serve the one who brought me to life. But I, Kagura, choose neither. If I am to wed then it will be to a man I deeply care for, if I am to share a bed with a man, it will be only when I desire so; and if someone's saves my life only because I look like someone from his past, then he is a worthless master."
"Then you will forever be alone. Even if there are others around you."
"So what should I do? Submit?"
"This Sesshomaru doesn't care about your life choices."
"But you care about Rin." Just for a millisecond something moved in Sesshomaru's static pools of gold. "You want me to take care of her. Too many layers for a youkai, isn't it?" she asked with a squint of an eye, as if sizing him up.
It was pointless for Sesshomaru to deny that there was something between them. A connection of sorts, an understanding. And yet they knew nothing about each other, or did they?
…
The following two days were spent in silence. Kagura was busy smoking the deer's meat, gallantly provided by Sesshomaru. She flinched every time his claw scratched a bone, but she had food, having no other tools in the middle in the forest – the ordeal was a good one, if the psychological part wasn't taken into consideration.
"Shippo is a kitsun brat whom Inuyasha took in," Sesshomaru said out of blue on the third day.
Startled by his voice Kagura dropped the kettle with boiling water which she prepared for making tea. Most unfortunately, the hot water went right onto Kagura's hands. "Kso! Couldn't you wait till I put it down? Damn, it hurts! It hurts!" She rushed towards the river nearby to ease her pain in cool water, but Sesshomaru's outstretched arm blocked her path.
"It will be no use."
"Standing here doesn't help either!"
With a brush of one of the claws against his finger, Sesshomaru drew a drop of blood. "Give me your hands."
"What are you…" One drop fell on each of Kagura's hands and the burns were gone in less than a minute. "What is this?"
"Youkai have immense healing powers, didn't you know?"
"Well, yes, but doesn't it only work for the youkai themselves? And don't you usually leak your wounds?" she finished with a forced chuckle. The situation was starting to get weird. Why was he healing her?
"I doubt you will feel comfortable with that," Sesshomaru replied, releasing her hands.
"Yeah well," Kagura drawled flopping down beside him.
"What about the tea?"
"Hell with it," she grunted. Complete loss of control over her thoughts resulted in loss over her limbs as well. What was she doing? Why was she getting involved with the youkai, instead of living with Tanaki and Rin where her worst worry was dinner food's absence? Because he resurrected her? Or the reason he did it? "So you were telling me about Shippo?" she said finding a distraction. "Why did he leave?"
"He went to find a kitsun tribe. It was time for him to find a mate."
"Why did he go to another end of the world if there are hundreds of youkai right in Inuyasha's village?"
"The call of blood. Instincts still draw to ones of your own kind."
"So that's why you walk from village to village to check on your pack?"
Sesshomaru's upper lip twitched in contempt. "This Sesshomaru-"
"Enough of this pretending! Hitomi's baby's blood is inside you. You are connected to all of them. I saw scars on Tanaki's cheekbones. Come to think of it, if I marry Tanaki, will you do the same to me?"
"You won't marry him."
"I know, I know, because my life belongs to Rin."
"Because he is going to marry his mistress."
"What? But what about me? Will he just toss me out of the house? And what about Rin? And why are you telling it to me only now? How long did you know?" Kagura yelled, hitting Sesshomaru on the shoulder, making the monomoko to fall in between them.
"Having a woman in a house and not having her is a challenge for any man."
"And I am sitting here, in the middle of the woods while Tanaki is using my absence to get wed with whatever slut she is! Men are such scum! When I return, I will have nothing else to do but to leave! Where am I going to go? And it is all your fault!" Kagura sobbed hitting him once again, her fists feeling like pebbles against his rock body.
"It is your fault, Kagura. You should've married Tanaki from the start."
"But I don't want to marry him!" she wailed. "This life or the other – it's just a mess," Kagura concluded, dropping her forehead onto Sesshomaru's shoulder.
"Your life belongs to Rin, so you will stay with her. You will-"
"Stop it! You are bossing me around again!" Kagura burst in anger and affront. "You told me to raise Rin, and I will do it. But I will do it my way. It is obvious that the only one among us, who knows anything about raising girls, is me!"
Sesshomaru didn't respond. He just sat there, staring into the sky.
"Moronic buffoon!"
Precisely at that moment Yasha landed in front of them a mixture of shock and amusement on his face.
"You look well, Oji-san," he greeted, trying to contain laughter by any means.
"What is your business here, Yasha?"
"Well, mother sent me," Yasha began, looking from Kagura pissed off expression to Sesshomaru's blank one. Something interesting was going on, but what? "To check if Kagura-san was well and if she wants to come home."
"He hasn't eaten me yet, as you see," Kagura spat. Pissed off indeed. "And yes, you are just in time, I will be thankful for you to bring me to Tanaki's."
"Bring her to Naruki and Hitomi's. She will look after the newborn. I will arrive with Rin shortly."
"The Hell?" both Kagura and Yasha cried at the same time.
There wasn't any reply as usual. Sesshomaru just rose into the sky in a sparkling sphere.
"He is still not well enough," Yasha mumbled under his breath then turned to Kagura. "Well, the trip to Naruki's is a bit longer than to Tanaki's-"
"I am not going!"
"Listen, woman, don't mess with me," Yasha warned, flashing his fangs. "And most importantly, don't mess with him. Oji-san told you to go there, so you'll go there."
"I don't belong to your pack or whatever, I am free to do whatever I want! And if you are such a pussy to be afraid of him, it is your problem!"
"Do you know what happened to that locust flock? Well there is nothing left of it. Both locust and the youkai. It is pointless to doubt his strength. It is no shame to be afraid of a taiyoukai. Even my father is a bit cautious of him. You called him a buffoon and remained alive. Don't stretch your luck for another time, lady. Just be a good girl and get onto my back."
Kagura had no choice but to comply. Feeling wind playing with her hair, she kept asking herself two questions: why she insulted him and why she stayed alive after that.