A/N – thanks again for the brilliant support on this story. The reviews and feedback have been fantastic.
So this is the last flashback chapter. Hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer in Chapter 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o
Chapter 5
He was about to knock on Jo's front door but stopped when he heard raised voices from inside.
"You little fool! Martin was the best thing that happened to you," her mother was saying.
"No he wasn't," Jo stated.
"You spend too much time with that other boy. I'm surprised Martin didn't dump you sooner," her mother said.
"Well he didn't. I dumped him. And as for G, he's a hell of a lot better than Martin."
"You know if you'd just slept with him, you wouldn't have lost him," her mother replied.
"Really?"
He could hear the scepticism in Jo's tone.
"What proof do you have of that Mother?" Jo spat out angrily. "When was the last time you brought home the same guy twice in a row? Sex doesn't keep them coming back to you."
He heard a sharp slap and a sound of pain come from Jo. His hand quickly went to the door before he'd even consciously though about doing it but it was locked.
"You think you can be good enough for anyone without giving it to them? Of course you can't," her mother continued. "We weren't good enough for your father, as if you are going to be good enough for anyone else."
He finally detected the slurring of her speech and figured that she was drunk. He hoped that was the excuse for what she was saying to Jo. It wouldn't be much comfort, but at least he could still hope that when she wasn't drunk she was nicer.
"Where are you going, Josephine?"
"Out," Jo replied shortly.
He could hear that she was upset and mad in that one little word. He stepped back away from the door, just out of view.
"You have to babysit Billy tonight."
"Be a mother and cancel the date." Jo opened the door and walked out. She froze as she saw him.
"Josephine, come back here now," her mother demanded from inside.
Jo moved quickly to her car. He followed, stopping her before she could get in.
"I'll drive," he ordered gently, holding his hand out for the keys. She relinquished them over easily and moved to the other side of the car.
"Where to?" he asked.
"Anywhere," she replied. She looked out the window and kept her head turned away from him.
He drove them to a park he hoped there wouldn't be too many people at. She got out and walked over to the swings. She sat in one of them and pushed herself gently with her foot. He joined her on the other one and waited.
"So how much did you hear?" she finally asked.
"Apparently you are a fool for breaking up with Martin."
"Most of it then," she said softly.
"Why did you break up with him?" he asked.
Jo turned and looked at him for the first time since she'd walked out the door. He hated the sadness she had on her face.
"Have you looked in a mirror in the last couple of days?" Jo asked him.
"You broke up with him because of me?"
"Among other things," she admitted. "Though what he and he friends did to you, is more than enough reason." She looked away again. "If he did that to you, what's to stop him doing it to me sometime."
So she knew that Martin had been responsible for the latest beating she'd patched him up from.
"What other things?" he asked.
"Doesn't matter. It's over," she said.
Her tone was firm and he didn't push any further. Instead he asked, "How's your face?"
Jo's hand moved up to touch her cheek where he could already see a slight bruise forming. She winced a little. He hoped it wouldn't be too bad.
"Sore, but not as bad as yours," she answered.
"Does she do that often?" he asked. He was relieved when she shook her head no.
"First time," Jo added.
"How long has she been like this?"
"Too long. She's so different when she's drunk. Even the rules change then."
They sat silently for a few minutes until he got up the courage to ask the next question. He didn't want to hurt her. He just wanted to help, to understand, which is why he asked.
"Why did your father leave Jo?"
She looked over at him and he saw the pain in her eyes, and wished he could take it back and keep his mouth shut.
"According to my mother, he left because we weren't good enough for him. Apparently he found someone else, and didn't want anything to do with us," she said, sadly. "I went to school one day, everything was perfect. I came home, he was gone. So was she in a way."
"Is that why you were mad at me when I said I wasn't good enough to be friends with?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said. "No one should make anyone feel they aren't good enough, especially parents," she said. "And you are definitely good enough G." She gave him a small smile before adding, "I'd leave now if I could figure out a way to take Billy with me."
"Why can't you?"
"Can't afford to. I'd have to quit school and try and get a full time job, no guarantees then either. If I'm lucky, I'll score one of the full scholarships at a college and then maybe with a job, I'll be able to bring him to me once I'm eighteen," she told him.
"If anyone can do it, you can," he said.
"Thanks G."
He decided to try and lighten the mood now.
"So am I really a hell of a lot better than Martin?" he asked. Jo looked over at him and smiled – just a touch bigger than before but it was definitely an improvement, as was the little spark that flared in her eyes.
"Don't know if I should answer that," she said.
"Why not?" he asked.
"Might go to your head." She turned back to watch her foot as it continued to push gently on the ground.
"I'll just have to assume the answer is yes," he concluded.
"Why?" she asked. He saw she was trying not to smile any more than she already was.
"Because if it was no, then it wouldn't go to my head would it?"
Jo suddenly stopped swinging and turned to look at him. "You care G. Whether you want to admit it or not, you show that you care. He didn't. He just showed he was an idiot who felt he owned me. I'm not someone's possession," she said.
"Of course you're not."
She turned away again and was quiet for a few moments.
"So, you going to dance with me at Graduation?" she asked, an obvious change in conversation which he followed, even though he had other questions he wanted to ask.
"Don't dance," he replied. "Anyway, I'm sure there will be lots of guys wanting to dance with you."
"Just one dance," she said.
"You asking or telling?" he joked.
Jo jumped off the swing and started walking away as she spoke. "I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do," she told him firmly. He could hear the pain in her voice and hurried after her. He caught her arm, stopped her and turned her back to him.
"Jo? What aren't you telling me?" he asked. He'd already worked out that if she was mad at him, it usually had way more to do with something else than anything he had done, even if he had provoked the emotion in some way.
She turned her head away from him. "Nothing."
"Liar," he retorted.
She looked back and sighed. "Fine, I'm lying," she admitted.
"So?" he prodded.
She shook her head and tried to turn away. He wouldn't let her and could see how hard she was trying to hold on to what little control she had left.
"So just one dance?" he asked. There was no way he was pushing any further, not now anyway. Maybe later. She looked back to him.
"Just one," she said softly.
"One it is," he said. She finally smiled agian. They started to walk back to the car.
"Feel like a movie?"
"Your place?" he asked.
Jo shook her head. "Not planning on going home for a while. Don't know what's on at the cinemas, but there should be something," she said.
"Let's go then." He still didn't think she was in a good state of mind so he drove. Jo didn't voice or show any objection to him taking control. He was glad. It was nice to be able to look after her a little. Almost like payback for her taking care of him so often. Though he knew he would never say that to her because she didn't do it for what she could get back from him. He knew it was just her nature – a nurturing caring one.
They went to a movie, had dinner, talked for a while about anything that wasn't family or boyfriend orientated. A 10 p.m. she finally said she should be going home, so they left.
"Do you want me to come in?" he asked. The porch light was on but the hose was dark.
"Please," she said. "Don't know if she went out yet or not."
They walked into the house and Jo went to the kitchen. She turned on the light as she moved through. He caught up with her whilst she was standing by the fridge reading a note.
"She went out. She sent Billy on a sleepover," she said softly. "Couldn't she just be a mother for once?" He heard the sob that she tried to stop and went over and pulled her into his arms. She held on to him tight but she didn't cry.
When he felt her hold ease, he moved away and steered them upstairs to her room. He got the extra blankets whilst she got ready for bed. By now they had a routine.
They were all settled and she had just switched off the light when they heard her mother come in downstairs. They heard the two voices and the footsteps on the stairs which stopped outside her door. He could feel Jo's tension increase, even across the room and in the dark. There was a knock on the door and he froze as well.
"Josephine? Are you home?" her mother asked, then giggled at something her date said or did. "Stop it," they heard her mother whispered loudly.
"Go away Mother," she said.
"You should join us. You have no idea how to have fun dearie," her mother said giggling and clearly drunker than earlier in the evening. Then they heard the footsteps move away and a door close.
He got up, opened the curtains so he could see, and went over to her, sitting on the edge of her bed.
"It's okay Jo, I'm here," he said reassuringly.
"Thank you," she whispered. He reached over and kissed her on the top of her head.
"Get some sleep. I won't let anything happen to you," he promised. She moved back onto the pillow and he made sure she was covered up. It was the first time he noticed she had her arms wrapped around a teddy bear.
In the abstract, it was such a sweet picture. But with the rest of the story known, the sweetness disappeared and his instincts to protect rose considerably. The fact that she felt scared enough that she needed something to hold onto was, unfortunately, one he understood all too well. He moved back to the chair, closed the curtains again and got comfortable. He didn't sleep much that night. He preferred to stay awake and watch over her. To keep her safe. He could sleep tomorrow.
After Jo broke up with Martin, he got to spend more time with her. Sometimes she sat with him at lunch. Sometimes he sat with her and her friends. He worked it out that she was avoiding Martin. He didn't mind. She obviously felt safe with him, so he wasn't going to complain. He could feel the attachment to her growing each day, but didn't try to stop it, or run from it. When it was time to move to the next foster home, he had almost begged Child Services to re-think. The place they were going to send him would have meant a different school. He told them he was getting really good at school, he was settled and looked like he might even graduate. In the end, he had been desperate and told them that he finally had a friend, a real friend. It was probably the only time he'd let them see his real emotions. The social worker had looked at him then and smiled. She told him she would see what she could do. She managed to find him another place, close enough to still go to the same school, though it took a bit of travel each day, he didn't mind. At least he was still near her.
On another one of those date nights, he was trying to keep warm on the chair, under the blankets, but it was a cold night and the heating at her place needed fixing. She must have heard him, because she turned the light on and looked at him.
"G, come in to the bed. You'll freeze if you don't," she said.
"I won't fit." It was just a single bed.
"We'll manage. You can help keep me warm." Jo moved over to one side in the bed and made some room for him. "Bring the blankets too," she added. When he didn't move, she just put her head down on the pillow and said, "You learnt a long time ago that I don't take no for an answer."
He chuckled and gave in. He was pretty cold. He put the two blankets over the top over the bed and slipped in beside her. He heard her gasp as his arms touched her.
"You're already freezing! You really are stubborn aren't you?"
Jo wrapped her arms around him trying to help him warm up. She ended up with her head on his shoulder and an arm around his waist. He wrapped his arms around her after he'd tucked the blankets up around them.
"Much better," she said softly. "Sleep well."
"You too," he said.
Surprisingly he did. He woke up to find himself tucked up into her back, arm around her waist. Her top had ridden up during the night and he found his fingers resting against the skin of her stomach. She was still asleep. He was tempted to move his fingers against her skin; she was so warm and soft. He held back a groan and tried to figure out how to move out of the bed without waking her, before she woke up and realised where his thoughts had gone. He was leaving soon. She didn't know it yet, but he was. He wouldn't start anything that would mean she would hurt more than she already would when he finally said goodbye. Carefully, he extracted himself and moved back to the chair, taking a blanket with him.
He watched her sleep for a while, before he heard her mother's door open and the latest date head downstairs to leave. He usually left whilst her mother was in the shower, so she didn't know he stayed. Billy had been great not mentioning that he came over on date nights. As far as the mother knew it was just Jo and Billy in the house. He'd asked Billy once why he never mentioned it. His response had shocked him a little. Billy had said, "You make her feel safe. Why would I ruin that?" He had a feeling Billy knew he stayed the night.
"You left," he heard her say softly. He smiled.
"No, I'm still here. I just woke up and didn't want to disturb you," he said. It was pretty close to the truth at least.
"Didn't think that leaving would disturb me?" Jo sat up and looked at him curiously.
"I got up half an hour ago," he told her.
"Oh." There was a mix of disappointment and something else on her face he couldn't place – and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. Leaving was going to be hard enough as it was.
"The date's gone. Time to for me to go too." He stood up and folded up the blanket, placed it on her chair before heading to the door.
"Lock the door on your way out," she said.
"Always." He picked up his bag and started to open the door.
"Thanks for staying," Jo added quietly.
He turned around and smiled. "Anytime," he said and left quietly.
He slipped quietly into her bedroom and closed the door, locking it silently behind him. He put his bag down carefully.
There was enough light from the open curtains and the moon to see her sleeping. He didn't really want to disturb her but he had to. He moved quietly over toward her bed, but his bag fell over with a thump before he got there. She sat up in her bed and stifled a scream.
"G? What are you trying to do? Terrify me?" she asked in a whisper. "What are you doing here?"
"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you." He sat down on the edge of her bed. She glanced at the clock.
"It's five in the morning, what are you doing here?" she asked again. "More importantly, how did you get in?"
"I can slip out and lock the door behind me. You didn't really think I couldn't do it the other way around did you?" he asked her. There was a smile on her face a the innocence to her question, even though she couldn't really see it.
"Guess I shouldn't be surprised," she answered.
"I'm leaving," he said softly.
"Leaving? To go where?" she asked as she reached over and turned on her light.
"Joined the military," he replied.
"Why?" Jo asked. She looked shocked, which was to be expected since he'd never said a word suggesting anything resembling the possibility of him doing such a thing. "There's only a couple of months until graduation," she continued.
"We both know graduating isn't going to happen for me," he said. She might have pulled him through English, but there were other subjects that he wasn't cutting it in.
"We've still got time," she said. He could hear the desperation in her voice.
"Maybe the military can give me what I need. College wouldn't," he said.
"What is it you need?" she asked.
"Someone to show me how to keep out of trouble."
"Thought I was doing a pretty good job these last couple of months," she said.
"You are, but you won't be around forever," he replied "I need to figure out how to stay out of trouble for myself."
"I'm not the one running G. If you didn't run, I'd still be around," she said softly and tilted her head away from him. He reached over and turned her head back to him and saw the tears that were falling.
"Jo, please. I'm not-" She cut him off.
"Don't. Say. It. Not unless you want to explain to your new commanding officer or whatever, how you managed to get a black eye when you said goodbye to a girl in her bedroom at five o'clock in the morning. He might not consider that it was innocent." She tried to smile but he could see it was a huge effort for her.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Don't like seeing you cry."
"In case it had escaped your notice over the last four months G, I am a girl. You are one of my best friends and you are leaving. Of course I'm going to cry." "Best friend?" he asked. Even given everything they had been through and done together he still felt shocked that she felt that way. He knew they were friends, but he hadn't let himself think they were anything more. It would have just made all of this even harder.
"Yeah. Best friend," she admitted.
They looked at each other and were silent for a moment before she spoke again.
"Do you really have to go?" she asked.
"You knew it was coming," he said.
Jo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know. You made that clear a long time ago. Can't blame a girl for hoping that might change," she said. She moved and put her arms around his neck burying her head against him, as she hugged him tight. He put his arms around her and held on too.
"Make sure you lock that door okay," he ordered gently but firmly. "And don't forget everything I taught you."
After that first night he had stayed over, he had repaid her English tutoring with some self-defence tips, just in case one of the guys got through the door and he wasn't there.
"Only a couple of months then I'll be out of here too," she said against his shoulder as she still held on. They'd talked about her plans, she was going to travel around a little and work where she could, before starting college, where ever that ended up being. She didn't want to stay in this house any longer than she had to. He'd contemplated traveling with her, but didn't have any money to do it with, so he had never mentioned it.
"Be good." He pulled back slightly. He needed to get out of here before she changed his mind. He knew she wouldn't ask, but just being around her was making it hard for him to leave.
"You too." Jo looked at him like she was trying to store every detail before he left. She wrapped her arms around herself as he stood up, walked to the door and picked up his bag.
"Bye Jo," he said.
"Bye G," she replied, though he could barely hear it. He slipped out of her room and made his way quietly downstairs; pushing back the tears he could feel pricking the backs of his eyes. He had his hand on the back door, about to open it, when he heard footsteps behind him - fast footsteps. He turned around quickly, just in time to have her fly into his arms again. He automatically put his arms around her and steadied them, having somehow managed to put his bag down first.
"I'm gonna miss you," she whispered in his ear, the tears breaking through in her voice.
"Miss you too," he replied truthfully. She kissed him on the cheek and then turned and ran back upstairs. A tear escaped one of his eyes and he was glad that she hadn't seen it. He turned around and left. He looked back at her house from the road and saw her standing by her window, watching him leave. He was about to wave when she moved away from the window and he watched the light go out.
He turned away, his heart hurting. This was why he didn't like attachments, he hated this feeling. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'This time though, you are leaving when you could have stayed'.