Title: Techniques for Seduction

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Pairing: Jean Havoc and Cain Fuery

Theme: #12 – In a Good Mood

Rating: PGish

Disclaimer: In case you didn't guess, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Please don't sue me.

Techniques for Seduction

Absolutely everyone in the office could tell when Jean Havoc was in a bad mood. His lethargy and depression would sometimes get so bad that it almost seemed the feeling was contagious, and would roll over everyone else in waves until everyone within a kilometer radius felt as though they badly needed a cup of coffee.

Yet lately, the Eastern headquarters seemed to be going through a substantially smaller amount of coffee, and everyone seemed to be growing just as adept at recognizing the signs of one of Jean Havoc's maniacally good moods, which until recently were a rather rare occurrence.

The signs of a Jean Havoc dangerously-good mood usually included enough flirting and groping that nearly everyone woman (and the occasional man) in the building would be ready to either pull their hair out in frustration, or bring something dangerous and probably sharp to the side of Havoc's skull, the consumption of half as many cigarettes and twice as much sugar as was usual for the Lieutenant, and, of late, a lot of hanging around and clinging to a certain Master Sergeant.

Fuery could tell today was going to be one of those days the moment he walked in the door, and Havoc threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him inside before he could say even as much as a 'hello'.

"You see Breda," Havoc said, making Fuery think that he had probably chosen a very bad time to enter the room, "Cain here knows exactly what I'm talking about, right?"

Havoc then smiled a very encouraging smile at the shorter man, which only served to make Fuery uncertain as to whether or not he actually wanted to agree to whatever it was Havoc wanted him to.

"Uh… well," Fuery began, looking around the room for either a clue as to what the correct response might be, or some way out of the situation all together.

"Lieutenants Havoc and Breda were discussing techniques for seduction I believe," Hawkeye provided from a nearby desk. She had a weary look on her face, which told Fuery that the conversation had probably been going on for far too long already.

"Wh… what?" Fuery stammered, feeling his face turn bright red. "What would I know about that?"

"Probably more than this idiot," Breda grumbled, gesturing to Havoc.

Until that moment, even when Fuery had pulled away from him, Jean Havoc had managed to keep a smile planted firmly on his face, but at this line, the smile quickly turned to a frown.

"Hey, what the hell are you talking about?" Havoc half-yelled. "You're single at the moment and I'm not, so that immediately makes me more knowledgeable than you."

Fuery let out a small laugh at this, and tried not to look too conspicuous.

Breda, with timing and a clueless look that would have made a professional comedian proud, scratched at the side of his face. "Really?" he asked. "You have a girlfriend?"

Havoc grinned proudly and began to nod, until he realized that saying he had a girlfriend would have been lying.

"What's she like?" Breda asked, all thoughts of the previous conversation gone with the appearance of this new piece of gossip.

"Well…" Havoc began. "Err…"

Just behind Havoc, Fuery felt as though he was about to throw up, that was if he didn't die of embarrassment first. Hawkeye had looked up from her work though, and now smiled encouragingly at Fuery in a kind yet knowing way that made Fuery realize that the woman knew a lot more than either he or Havoc would have previously guessed.

"I doubt that particular relationship required much seduction on your part," Hawkeye interrupted, looking perfectly serious about the whole issue. "So perhaps it is safe to say that neither of you have any clue about the topic whatsoever."

Both Havoc and Breda looked crushed at this comment. Fuery tried not to laugh. He honestly did, but he simply couldn't resist it when Havoc attempted to give off an impression of dignified anger and failed terribly.

"Hey!" Havoc shouted when he heard Fuery's quiet chuckling behind him. "Whose side are you on anyway?"

After several more minutes of discussion, which mostly consisted of Hawkeye attempting to get the two men to stop arguing and start doing some work, ending in one gunshot that silenced the conversation all together and left a rather nice whole in the ceiling, the office became as calm as possible under the circumstances.

Havoc's good mood continued though, and it wasn't long before he was flirting with Hawkeye, but each attempt ended with a comment from Hawkeye something along the lines of 'don't you think you should remain loyal, Lieutenant Havoc?' which then resulted in Havoc hanging all over Fuery, until it reached the point that Fuery began to seriously wonder how it was that Breda still hadn't picked up the connection between the two of them.

Fuery told himself that Havoc's flirting was harmless. They had both agreed that they were now officially 'more than friends' and as such, all women were off limits, and even if Havoc was a bit of a flirt, he would never take it past flirting.

At least, that's what Fuery told himself.

When lunch came, Fuery felt quite satisfied when Havoc chose to sit much closer to him than the seating really required, and began to flirt with him so outrageously that Fuery just knew he would spend the next hour blushing.

Then a couple of new recruits with pretty faces and large breasts sat on the other side of Havoc and his attention began to shift between Fuery and the two women.

By the end of lunch Fuery found that he was so jealous he could barely keep it in. It wasn't long before Havoc threw one of his arms around the closest woman, and Fuery knew he could take it no longer. He slammed his almost empty tray down on the table, and stormed off, not giving Havoc a second look as he left.

"Cain?" Havoc called, but the Master Sergeant didn't even look back.

"Cain!" he called again, disentangling himself from the woman beside him. "Sorry," he stammered, "but I, err… Cain wait!"

He shouldn't be angry. He shouldn't be jealous. He shouldn't have cared, and yet, Cain knew that he couldn't have stopped caring if he wanted to.

"Cain, wait!" Havoc's voice called out behind him. Fuery forced himself to ignore it, but in a matter of seconds Havoc had caught up to him anyway, and grabbed hold of his sleeve.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Havoc asked. Fuery didn't answer, or even turn to look at him.

"Hey Cain?" Havoc pushed gently. "Are you all right?"

Havoc sounded so worried and helpless that Fuery couldn't help but give in.

"I guess," he began, finally turning to look at Havoc. "I'm just jealous."

"Huh?" Havoc seemed genuinely shocked. "Of those women back there?"

Fuery nodded.

"Oh shit," Havoc cursed, letting go of Fuery's sleeve. "The only reason I was doing that was to give you a break. I thought you would have been getting sick of it by now."

"Sick of you?"

"Yeah. Of me hanging all over you and flirting with you and stuff."

Fuery shook his head, trying to remember why it was that he had fallen in love with Havoc in the first place. The man was a complete flirt, and absolutely clueless when it came to emotions most of time.

But every once in a while, he was right.

When Havoc caught the gleam in Fuery's eye, and pushed him up against a wall with one of the most passionate and loving kisses they had shared yet, Fuery remembered exactly why he was in love in with Jean Havoc.