Chapter Thirteen

Kagura's married life unfolded rather pleasantly. It didn't actually much differ from the one she led at Naruki's. The major differences were the absence of kids and the constant smell of herbs and ointments Hiasaki used for preparing medicine. The usual silence of the house was at times disturbed by one patient or another who needed help. Sometimes they travelled to the neighboring villages since there were no healers there. Five years past like that.

Sesshomaru didn't appear even once. He was visiting Rin, as far as Kagura knew, because Rin came to visit quite frequently. On the third year of marriage she and Kyoukei were blessed with a son. Rin blossomed by the month, happiness overflowing her. She told Kagura about all the happenings in her life, what guests staid in the inn, what they did for life, what problems she had with the baby, which were the most popular dishes in the restaurant. She also mentioned the times Sesshomaru visited their household and how he seemed to be satisfied with Rin's position. It was Kagura's role to be happy for her little girl, and she really was.

Hiasaki was an honest man, a good husband and a tender lover, he almost made her forget the curiosity she had about youkai in general and one silver-haired inuyoukai in particular. Made her forget the feeling of freedom of being in the air when the wind was passing though her hair. Hiasaki had no mysteries for her to crack or secrets to uncover, still she was happy with him. With the man that almost managed to make her forget the fifteen first years of her second life.

Five years past like that and then everything changed – Kagura got pregnant and five months later an epidemic hit the area they lived in. Among those who were struck was Kagura. Rin was called to help, because Hiasaki was dealing with other patients and couldn't be by his wife's side. Kagura had been delirious for three days whispering a man's name over and over, and that name wasn't her husband's. On the fourth day Rin decided to take matters in her own hands and cut one of them.

…

"We were here before," Kagura uttered in a raspy voice when consciousness finally returned to her. Her vision was still blurry, but she saw clearly enough to distinguish a figure in white sitting beside her futon.

"Indeed."

"Why did you honor me with your presence, oh Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked, managing a heavy dose of irony even in her weak physical state.

"You called for this Sesshomaru."

"You are not to ask why I did?"

"This is of no importance. Your pup is dead, if it is not removed you will die."

"So be it then," Kagura uttered with a content sigh.

"Giving up on life again? What is the reason now? You seem to have everything you wished for."

"I thought you of all people would understand… Yes, time healed some of my wounds and shadowed some of my memories, but it is still there. They appear in my dreams, all five of my rapists one by one or together and I feel the pain, the fear and devastation which nobody saves me from, like I am crashed by some eternal darkness of doom.

I let the past go, I told myself time and time again that I must overcome my fears that life is worth living, that I can make my future bright with my own hands. I let my hate go, I remade myself which wasn't an easy task, but I succeeded to some point. I got married and everything seemed to be alright, I even thought that I'd finally got the deserved happiness. And then I got pregnant… I was the happiest woman on Earth, but everything was taken away from me once again. And I just can't stop thinking, why didn't I jump from the waterfall that day? If I did I wouldn't suffer so much with every passing day of my new life. I don't deserve to live."

"It isn't your fault, Kagura. You were given challenges that no ordinary woman could overcome, but you did with your astounding will-power. If you had ended your life once again in the past, you would've never met Rin, or got married or gave birth. The death of your pup isn't your fault either, it was killed by the decease, not you."

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is!" Kagura exclaimed, her voice failing her. "I just can't keep this struggle anymore. Please, I beg of you, just kill me right now. I will be just one of the thousands you killed. Just a second, just snap my neck and you'll never see me again or hear my whining. Please…" During her speech Kagura managed to move into an upright position by grabbing onto Sesshomaru's haori, so in the end they were face to face, and he could see the infinite despair in her blood shot eyes, and also madness of someone driven over the edge.

"Don't you have anything to live for Kagura? Don't you want to live for your husband? Rin? For your future family?"

"Don't you know, Sesshomaru? I am only a human woman. I am weak," Kagura spat with hate, as if being weak was the reason of all her troubles.

"You are not weak, Kagura."

"So you are not going to kill me? Just as I thought. You are such a coward, Sesshomaru," she muttered under her breath, releasing the haori, because the last bits of strength were leaving her. She almost fell down onto Sesshomaru's lap, but he caught her and put back onto the tangled sheets. "There is nothing dishonorable in taking life of someone who asks you to do it. Or do you like watching my sufferings?"

"I've never seen you dance with the fans I gave you."

"Selfish jerk," Kagura mumbled, turning away to express her hurt feelings, but a small smile still crept onto her pale lips.

"Your husband has finally returned," Sesshomaru announced. "If he knows what is good for him, he will do his job properly."

"Can you return with him?" Kagura asked the wall. "Can you pretend for a bit, that you care and hold my hand? I am kinda scared."

Sesshomaru didn't answer, but when Hiasaki stormed into the room, looking like he looked into the face of Death too many times to count and fell onto his knees crying his eyes out, he was not alone. Even in his shaky state Hiasaki managed to perform the operation successfully and within a short time. From one hand it meant less pain for Kagura, but on the other – her hand didn't get warm enough from Sesshomaru's hold.

When Hiasaki stumbled from the bedroom, he found himself forcefully pressed towards the wall.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" squished out of his lungs. If the healer hadn't seen a dangerous youkai before, he did now.

Without any warning, Sesshomaru send his arm flying against Hiasaki's chest, living three bleeding gashes above his heart. A bit lower and deeper – and Hiasaki's heart could've been Sesshomaru's dinner. Hiasaki was well aware of that.

"Those scars," Sesshomaru began, his voice trembling with rage, "will remind you of the day you almost let your wife die. If you neglect her, the gem among stones, ever again, I will fulfill her desire to die and leave you live with the guilt of the invaluable loss."

…..

During the next months Hiasaki treated Kagura like a Kami. He was constantly by her side and took her everywhere if the need for him to leave the village arose. The bedroom activities were put on a hold since Kagura had never initiated anything and Hiasaki was afraid to do any additional damage to her health. Little did he know that Kagura had completely recovered because of the youkai blood. They obviously didn't start talking about having another attempt on having a child.

The topic of children rose by itself in quite an unusual manner.

"Hey there, Kagura-san!"

"Ryou? What are you doing here?" Kagura questioned the unusual guest. She was just about to start preparations on dinner, but her thoughts seemed to wander somewhere they shouldn't. One inuyoukai dominated them, and now another one was at her door.

"I came to bring some good news. First of all, exactly in a year from now you are invited to attend Yasha and mine mating celebration."

"Wow! Omedetou!"

"It is too early for that," Ryou waved off, vivid blush covering his cheeks. "The second thing, is that Hitomi is about to go into labor and she asked for you to assist."

"Hitomi is having another child? I haven't heard a thing about it!"

"Well, you haven't visited the Western Lands for quite some time. A lot of stuff happened."

Kagura looked away in shame. She was thankful that Ryou wasn't outright scolding her. She had a reason for not coming, at times she was really grateful for her husband to live so far from Sesshomaru's pack. She was actually afraid to visit any of her friends not to run into Sesshomaru and ask what the bowing at her wedding was all about. She desperately wanted to know, but some part of her mind told her not to pry into the matter, so not to be hurt or worse – to lose herself once again.

"Will Kagome be there too?"

"No, mum is preparing for the festivities and stuff."

"Do I hear something about festivities?" came a male voice from the house's entrance. "Are you?.." Hiasaki drawled, looking Ryou over in attempt to remember.

"Hiasaki, this is Ryou, Inuyasha and Kagome's son, they were at the wedding. One of my friends is giving birth and asks for my help. You must go too! Maybe hanoyu will live here too and you would help them!" Kagura suggested enthusiastic by the idea.

Hiasaki blinked several times, not comprehending anything Kagura was saying. "Hanoyu? What are these?"

"Children of youkai and humans," Ryou explained with a bitter smirk. "My pups however won't need your help."

"Are you going to live here, Ryou?"

"Well, yeah. Kaoru informed me, that I may even become the Lord of the Northern lands some day, since her mother is the only granddaughter of the current one. Like Hell I want to, but I better learn my territory. The villages don't really communicate with the wolvies, or so I heard. Is this so, old man?"

The question was obviously directed at Hiasaki who looked astounded at the young man in front of him as if he was a representative of another world, who he actually was. "You mean the youkai in the mountains?" the healer asked in a shaking voice, clearly scared.

"Obviously. They are not happy with you right now, since you, village folk, hired slayers to kill their males, but they have there some really hot babes, so you may help them out. Now or in five hundred years, what's the difference? I am only quarter youkai and I feel just fine."

When Ryou referred to the extermination ordeal, Kagura glanced at Ryou's hair and was astonished to find out that it indeed returned to its previous size just like Sesshomaru said. Ryou also had a new outfit of deep green color similar to his brother's.

"You mean our men and their… their…" Hiasaki couldn't even finish the sentence from the horror that consumed his body.

"Females. But I doubt you will personally see this happening, maybe your grandkids." With that said Ryou threw a meaningful glance at Kagura, but she averted her gaze. "Well, are you coming, old man? Because if there are two of you, the ride will be a bit rough."

Hiasaki obviously didn't want to go anywhere near youkai, hanoyu or anything connected to them, but since it was his wife's desire and since he clearly saw the scars on his chest with every look into the mirror, he nodded his agreement.

When Ryou finally released them from his grip upon landing near Naruki's house, Hiasaki fell flat onto the ground.

"Gomen, old man. Not used to carry two persons at a time."

"He has a name, Ryou. Show some respect," Kagura scolded, maintaining a perfect standing position. She surely knew how to land from any flying speed possible.

"Gomen, Hiasaki-san. Is this okay? Mum snaps at me as it is. Why you too, Kagura-san?"

"Well, I must do something if it is not working."

"I don't envy your kids, Kagura-san," Ryou said with a mock defeat. "Are you okay?" he asked noticing as Kagura's turned pale at the mentioning of kids, her kids.

Noticing Kagura's discomfort, Hiasaki suggested getting to the matter at hand, especially since the screams had already started to echo through the building. Everything ended in four hours, because it was Hitomi's second baby and there were no complications. Still Sesshomaru was the one who held Hitomi in her youkai form and 'christened' the baby by leaving scratches on its cheeks.

Kagura didn't dare to even look at him during the process of the delivery. Thankfully he also didn't seek her out at the party that happened later that day. The house was full to the brim with slayers and friends of the family. Rin and her husband arrived too at some point.

After a plentiful feast to celebrate the birth of the daughter of Naruki and Hitomi a choir of "Kagura dance! Kagura dance! Kagura dance! Kagura dance!" filled the room.

"I didn't know Kagura could dance," Hiasaki remarked, discovering once again that he knew so little of his life companion.

"Of course she can!" one of slayers beside him noted. "Who are you, by the way?"

"Hiasaki, I am Kagura's husband."

"Whoa! You are one lucky man! I bet the idea of marrying her crossed all my mates' mind while she lived here. I mean, she is so… perfect, maybe. She is beautiful and smart and incredibly hot! And how she sings and dances and entertains! Yeah, you are one lucky man."

Hiasaki was shocked to hear such praise, even if he himself valued all the mentioned in the woman he met during the epidemic chaos. But she never knew that Kagura had a joyful even a bit naughty side. It had started to come out bit by bit from the moment Ryou appeared at their doorstep. Someone from her past, her previous life, life before him.

"But why did none of your friends approach her, if I may ask?"

"Well, it is kinda hard to go against him."

Kagura opened her fans and began her fluent dance.

"Him?" the husband asked in confusion.

"Well, you know," the slayer responded, tilting his head into the direction of the right corner of the room.

Filled with feeling of foreboding Hiasaki followed the pointed direction to identify the almighty suitor and went limp – in that corner, on a silk tatami, sat the guest of honor, Sesshomaru-sama himself. He followed the movements of the dancer as everyone in the room, but his glance was somehow different. Hiasaki moved his observation to Kagura. There was nothing out of the ordinary, her movements were graceful, passionate and wonderful in every way, except from time to time she threw glances at that corner. And then something struck Hiasaki – Kagura was dancing for him. The one who didn't ask.

"Were they together?" Hiasaki dared to ask.

"Who knows…"

Hiasaki swore to be that person. He and his wife had a lot to talk about.