Please, Don't Drive Me Blind
If I could tear you from the ceiling, I know the best have tried
I'd fill your every breath with meaning, And find the place we both could hide
It was a month later and ever since the night that Jax and Haley came together, found themselves lost in each other's arms, it had become cemented. The confusion settled, the uncertain questions like flying debris finally fell to the ground, an answer had been given. It would be Jax that would win Haley's heart.
After that night there was no denying it. Haley wouldn't have slept with him if she was going to change her mind. She wasn't that kind of girl. When she makes love she means it. And when Haley and Jax made love that night it answered the question torn in two in her heart. Jax was home, she loved him, it was destiny they would be together. She knew her feelings for Dean wouldn't just disappear, love never does, but Haley had made her choice, now she was going to stand by it.
All was well that bright sunny morning. Peaceful and easy going like most days in Charming when club drama didn't stir up heated emotions, or bring vengeance upon them. The day started off as most did these days, with Jax heading over to Dean and Haley's to see his girl before he headed into work at the garage. Today however his tongue held waiting news.
They had talked loosely about moving in together, but Haley's one condition was they get a place of their own. She wasn't going to stay at the club house where privacy was scant beyond Jax's room. That's what put the perk in Jax's stride that morning. He had finally received word he had got the house a few blocks over. A house he couldn't image living in with anyone but her.
Thrilled to tell Haley the news, he raced over to her place. A big mouthwatering smile was plastered across his strikingly handsome face as he walked up the lawn to the door. His sterling blue eyes caught Haley and his brother's image from the kitchen window that faced the front of the house even before he reached the door.
His grin twisted a little brighter, until his feet stopped cold in their tracks. Like a blindfold being ripped from his eyes, Jax finally saw something. It wasn't what Dean was saying to Haley, because Jax couldn't make that out from outside. It wasn't what Dean was doing with her, because he wasn't even touching her. It was the look in his eyes as he gazed down hard on Haley.
Jax would know what that look meant anywhere. The sight of it sent shivers running under his skin and put a chill in his heart. While Jax had never seen it with such intensity before, he had seen Dean look at certain special girls that way in the past, but never Haley. While his older brother was never much for dating. The hit 'em, and quit 'em type, Dean had let a few girls matter over the years, less then a handful, and Jax had see that look in his brother's eye enough times to know what it meant.
If the sight of love shining in his brother's eyes for his girlfriend wasn't startling enough, the fact that Haley didn't seem at all surprised by it's presence in his orbs was the final blow. It was hard to tell from the angle he was at, but Jax was pretty sure her eyes weren't shining the same devotion, but not putting out the fire either.
All of it, every quiet detail, every unspoken moment all created a picture. A picture that suddenly became crystal clear. Why Dean was edgy around Haley when Jax was around. Why Dean didn't want to talk about the time while he was gone. Why Haley was avoiding the topic too. It all made sense now, they had something going on between them. Something heated, something fleshy, something deep… and maybe they still did. The question shuttered down Jax's strong spine. Turning him hard, pulling his guard in place, stirring an anger to rise in his belly.
Ready to face the liars that he now saw clearly, Jax finally entered the house. He stopped in the entryway to the kitchen, without a word, just watching, observing.
"Jax," Haley's glowing smile found him as she heard the front door shut, her eyes spotting him lurking against the wall.
That look Jax had seen in Dean's eyes vanished as quickly as it had existed. Something awkward took it's place. Something that had always been awkward, but only now could Jax recognize that's exactly what that feeling was. Quickly grabbing his keys, Dean moved for the door. His emerald eyes darting anywhere around the room, but near Haley.
"See you later Hales. …Meet you at the garage, Jax." Dean's crisp rushed voice called as he passed his brother in the entryway and made a quick exit.
A heated huff escaped Jax's nose, he couldn't believe how blind he had been. How perfectly the puzzle pieces fit, how easy it was to spot when he just paid attention, but Haley had never done anything behind his back before. She had never given him a reason to doubt her. As Haley moved in closer to him, questioning filling her honey eyes as she took in his stance, Jax wandered into the living room. Nerves racing inside him, the tension building. Jax shot off his heated question as he turned to face her with pointed narrow eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me?" His voice came off bitter, and sharp like a knife.
Haley stood there for a moment, her eyes searching his sterling blue. It would have been easy to pretend like she didn't understand the vagueness of his question, but Haley understood what he was asking perfectly. She had always known he'd figure it out sooner or later if she didn't tell him soon enough. The look on his face was devastating, Haley never could have imaged it would feel like this when the truth came out. Fear rippled through her insides as dread filled her heart, she was about the take the plunge without knowing what awaited her at the bottom.
Biting her lower lip nervously out of habit, Haley slowly nodded before her voice spoke up timidly. "Yes… But I didn't know how. I didn't want to hurt you." Haley confessed, her breath growing heavy and somber as her heart ached in her chest for him. Secret out, she could only image how dirty she must appear in her love's eyes now.
"How did you find out?" Haley whispered, her eyes falling from his with the anger shooting from his orbs.
"I finally paid attention to what was going on right in front of my face." Jax shot back, a snarl forming on his lips with disgust. Just the thought of what Dean and Haley could be doing when he wasn't around was enough to make his stomach churn and bile want to rise up.
Haley's big honey orbs shot back up to Jax with his insinuation. Her head shook wildly as her lips corrected his misgivings on the situation. "Jax, Dean and I aren't… What happened, happened while you were gone. It's not still going on. I would never cheat on you." Her voice carried insistence to convince him as the look in her eyes pleaded with him to believe her. Something in Haley's heart broke worse with the thought that Jax would actually think she'd cheat on him. Even if from where he was standing, she could understand how it might seem plausible.
If I could tear you from the ceiling, I'd freeze us both in time
And find a brand new way of seeing, Your eyes forever glued to mine
Jax's head shook lightly from side to side as the picture continued to unfold in his mind. As everything became more painfully clear. Suddenly it made so much sense why Haley was so reluctant to be with him when he first came home. Why Dean didn't want to talk about her. All those cold lonely nights he spent locked up. All the years he spent thinking about her. What he would have given to just be with her again, and the whole time she was staying warm in his brother's arms.
"Is that suppose to make me feel better? While I'm locked up you and Dean are here having a good old time." His voice rose in anger and betrayal as accusing blue eyes never backed down from his stare. She may not have cheated on him, but this still felt like a betrayal in his heart. If it wasn't a dirty secret why didn't they tell him from the start.
Remorse shone in Haley's orbs as she gazed upon her boyfriend, and a man she loved, a man she had loved since she knew what love was. It was more difficult then she ever imagined to justify her actions, but she needed him to hear the truth. She loved him too much to lie to him about this anymore. She needed to him to see the truth before he decided to hate her for it.
"It wasn't like that. You were gone a long time, Jax. Nothing happened quickly, but Dean got me through the hard times. You were the one who told him to watch out for me." Haley wasn't blaming Jax, but she was reminding him the biggest reason Dean hung around her so much after Jax left was because he asked him to. That's what had started it all, the constant time together, the emotional support. It didn't happen overnight, but Dean and Haley slowly found an attraction coming to life from that bond.
Her words cut like a knife. In the midst of the argument Jax only heard sorrow and blame off her lips as if he wanted this to happen. "I asked him to look out for you, screwing you wasn't what I had in mind!" Jax exploded, his burly voice erupting through the small room, echoing off walls and vibrating through Haley. He had wanted his brother to make sure she was ok in his absence. He wanted to make sure she didn't lose her way. That her heart wasn't breaking all alone. He never imagined his brother's cure for her pain was to make her scream his name.
Though knowing who Dean is Jax knows he shouldn't be surprised. Jax always knew Dean was better at taking a girl to his bed then holding her while she cries, but Jax had always trusted his brother would made an exception for his girl, for Haley. The images blinded his mind, burning they were so painful. Jax could see it all so clearly… His beautiful Haley pinned beneath Dean, his brother. Skin on moistened skin. Their eyes locked from inches apart with the ecstasy they were building between them. Their rapid shallow breaths pummeling each other's lips, before they dove in for a frantic hungry kiss as Dean thrust deep inside her. It was enough to make Jax sick. Enough to make him want to destroy everything in arms reach.
Haley could feel her heart breaking apart in her chest. Breaking from the look of betrayal and overwhelming pain blinding in Jax's baby blues. She loved him and it was killing her to know what this was doing to him, but this situation wasn't just black and white, good or bad. It was tangled and messy, and not as easy to label. "You left me, we were over. Dean was there for me when my world was crumbling and what we did wasn't meaningless. I know it should have been with someone other then him, but we didn't plan it. It just happened. I'm sorry…. I don't know what else to say…" Tears burned in Haley's eyes, as her tried to explain the complexities of what had happened.
That she hadn't betrayed their relationship, because they weren't together. But because Dean's his brother she knew it was wrong, she had always known. They both had, that's why they never wanted anyone to find out. They took the risk because it wasn't just sex, it wasn't just killing a primal hunger on lonely nights, it was bigger then that. That was something Haley knew she could never make Jax understand without losing him completely.
Feeling the anger, the hurt, the distrust raging inside him. The dirty, nasty thoughts that wouldn't stop plaguing his mind. The way Jax could hardly look at Haley now. She didn't even look like the woman he loved. He had get away. He needed some time, some time to think this through clearly. "There's nothing else to say…I need some time to think…" Jax mumbled low on his breath as he head for the door with a heavy step.
As he approached her and pasted without another glance, Haley frantically spun on her heels to catch him before he left out the front door. "Jax, I didn't cheat on you. I love you. You know I would never do that. Nothing has happened since we've been back together." Haley urgently reminded him, because she felt that had to count for something. Her breath grew thick with emotion, as a few tears slipped from her eyes.
Jax's step stilled with her words, a few moments passed before he slowly turned to face her. Something broken and cold in his sterling blue eyes as they hit hers. "Yeah, all of one month, Haley. One fucking month." His deep quiet breath threw back at her, before he left her with her tears, and disappeared out the front door.
Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind
Don't go and leave me, And please don't drive me blind
Please don't drive me blind
Out Of The Blue And Into The Black
Hey, hey, My, my
Rock and roll can never die
There's more to the picture Than meets the eye
Hey, hey, My, my
Jax rode around, trying to clear his head. Aimlessly his bike moved through quiet Charming streets, moving onto the out skirts of town, and beyond. Though no matter how far he got, no matter how fast he went, Jax couldn't shake the feeling in his heart. His mind knew logically what Dean and Haley had done together wasn't cheating, because he had been in jail and he broke up with her, but there was a part of him that felt he couldn't trust them.
He had seen it in Haley's eyes, heard it in her words. It hadn't just been something to kill the loneliness with them. There were feelings involved. That's what terrified him the most, shook him to his core foundation. He knew Haley wouldn't give herself to Dean unless he held her heart. Jax didn't know how to go up against that. The past two months, since he's been home Jax has seen their love flourish in her eyes. He knew Haley wasn't faking that, but knowing part of her heart belonged to his brother too threatened to burn down everything they built.
That desperate drive of a mad man helped Jax focus his thoughts, face head on the fork in the road he had come to, but one thing lingered. One thing he still felt sketchy about. One thing he had to know. He had to find out how Dean felt. He needed to know if his brother would lie to his face again or come clean. And if he came clean, Jax had to know where Dean stood in this. Did he want Haley, and Jax was taking her away? Or had he moved on like he usually does?
The question lingered heavy and loud in his pounding skull as Jax drove in past the gates, and up to the auto garage entrance.
Just his luck Dean appeared to be on a break. His body leaned against the wall on the side of the building as he puffed away at a cigarette. His plain grey tee-shirt and faded blue jeans smeared with grease and other automobile fluids, staring into the sun as if it didn't burn his eyes.
Jax quickly parked his bike and hastily made his way over to his brother before his chance was lost. "Got a smoke I can bum?" Jax asked casually on approach. He had a pack full in his pocket, but he needed the excuse to start up a conversation. Keep his brother there. Jax's mind was alive and twitching being this close to a guy he had trusted his whole life, but suddenly wasn't sure he could anymore.
A brief smirk tugged on one side of Dean's sexy pout before he silently passed a cigarette his brother's way.
They stood there for a moment, puffing away on a toxic smoke, gazing into the warm sun as if it weren't blinding. A sunlight that shined down on them like a spot light, gleaming into focus two of the most attractive sights to be seen in Charming.
When the moment felt normal and drawn out long enough Jax finally spoke up, natural and easy. "Listen man, I haven't had a chance to thank you yet for looking out for Haley while I gone." Jax's thick smokers voice delivered beautifully.
Out of the blue and into the black
You pay for this, and they give you that
Once you're gone, you can't come back
When you're out of the blue And into the black
Dean glanced at his brother briefly before this gaze fell back against the sun. He took a slow deep drag of his cigarette before he answered as the smoke danced out past his shapely lips. "It was nothing," Dean answered simply not a hint of inappropriate emotion tied to it, a trick Dean did so well. Keeping his cards close to his vest, but then suddenly his eyes fell back to his little brother beside him. A sweet smile touched his face and lit his eyes. Nothing big and overwhelming, something simple that came from the heart.
"You're my brother." As Dean's deep gritty voice spoke, the words rippled under Jax's skin, because it was scary the unflinching way Dean cared for him. How undeniably genuine he meant his words. Everyone knew, especially Jax, of Dean's unwavering love for his little brother. How he'd do absolutely anything for him and their family, give anything for them. Family was everything to Dean.
The conviction of his big brother's words, the paradox that he could mean them, and still live a lie. Jax felt he had to push forward. Put that loyalty on the line and see if Dean would finally fess up like Haley had. "Hey… Did Haley ever see anyone while I was gone?" Jax eased into it. So when the topic found it's way back to Dean it wouldn't be completely out of the blue.
It was so smooth most wouldn't have even noticed, but Jax knew his brother so well he couldn't miss it. The way Dean's shoulders twitched ever so slightly as Jax's question was unleashed. Dean never looked his brother's way, but he answered the question in a timely manner. "She went out a few times. Nothing stuck. Guess you really had her heart." Dean answered honestly, only the two of them knowing how deep those words ran.
Having the lead in he needed, Jax went in for the kill. If this were a card game he'd be all in. He had to know if his brother would lie to his face if confronted with the truth. Clearing this throat, Jax threw down his cigarette, and got to the point.
"How about you… Did you sleep with her?" Jax questioned unflinching, asking a question that held so much weight his calmness was frightening.
As the question filtered through his ears, Dean choked on the breath he had been inhaling. Coughing to loosen the tightening in his throat, Dean felt his heart start pounding hard and fast against his chest wall. He'd known for some time Haley wanted to tell Jax what happened between them. She had mentioned it on more then one occasion, but because his brother was asking and not telling, made Dean think maybe she hadn't said a word. Maybe this was just Jax thinking aloud, and if so Dean wasn't about to throw Haley under a bus anymore then he was about to tell his brother he had been secretly seeing a girl he knew Jax loved while he was gone.
Trusting his instinct that Jax was just fishing, Dean stayed quiet. Protecting his brother from the truth. Letting him keep the ignorant happiness he shared with Haley while protecting her too. Glancing over at his brother for a second, because any longer would have killed, Dean lied. "What? …No, no way. It wasn't like it." The words came easy off his breath. This was something Dean had been covering for awhile and Jax was just the icing on that cake, but he was the one it hurt the most to lie to.
Jax stood there stunned and speechless. While his mind had warned him ahead of time this is what would happen, his heart couldn't believe the blow. That his own brother could lie so easily to his face even when confronted with the truth.
Feeling uneasy, something sick growing in his heart from the lie, Dean stepped off the wall. "Hate to cut it short, but I gotta get back to work. Unser brought in his car today. Ma's, riding my ass to have it done by tonight." Dean played it smooth as he offered an excuse that wasn't untrue, but wasn't the real reason why he was running. The real reason was he couldn't face his brother with that lie still fresh on his tongue.
As Jax watched his brother walk back over to the open garage he felt a fire begin to rumble inside him. Dean was one of the few people he had always believed he could trust and count on without a second thought. It had been them and only them after Thomas died, after Dad died. In this moment Jax didn't even feel he knew who Dean was, but he knew he more then had payback coming.
The king is gone but he's not forgotten
Is this the tale of Johnny Rotten?
It's better to burn out than to fade away
The king is gone but he's not forgotten
Just as Dean reached the front of the garage, Jax's loud demanding voice halted him. "Dean! …You really thought you could screw around with her and I wouldn't find out!" His words vibrated through Dean's back and straight into his heart. It was undeniable the whole garage had heard, but at that moment Dean could have cared less.
His emerald eyes fell closed for a moment of silent grief as his secret came back to haunt him the way secrets do. A real man at heart, Dean didn't cower from what awaited him. Slowly he turned, ready to face this head on. "Jax…" Dean spoke as he turned around, ready to explain what happened before with Haley didn't matter now, because he wasn't going to try and come between them, but he never got the chance. Jax's fist collided with Dean's eye socket hard and fast, sending him crashing to the cement ground before he saw it coming.
"You lying, son of a bitch! I trusted you, you fucking traitor!" Jax hollered as he pinned his brother to the ground and threw another blow to his face. This one hitting his lip, splitting it open on contact.
Never one to just lay there and take it, especially with his brother, and now more pissed then ever, Dean turned the tables on Jax. Throwing his body weight into it, Dean flipped them. Jax's back slammed against the hard cement ground just as Dean slammed a clenched fist straight into his brother's jaw. "You were the one who left her! It's your own damn fault!" Dean hollered from his position above. Jax had Dean off him in a second as both brothers jumped to their feet, ready to square off again. As they charged toward each other, the fight that hadn't gone unnoticed got broken up.
"That's enough!" Opie hollered like the voice of reason as he stepped in-between the warring brothers, pushing Jax back, while Tig held Dean away.
"What the hell is going on?" Gemma shouted just as strong as one of the men if not stronger as she charged out of the office in all her leather and stilettos glory.
Dean shrugged Tig's grip off him as Jax held his hands up letting Opie know non-verbally he wasn't going to restart anything.
Glancing at his mother, Jax noted her hands tight on her hips as the demanding look in her eyes waited for an answer, his gaze shot back on Dean's bloody face with one.
"Why don't you ask Dean, since he's the one who seems to have a problem keeping his dick in pants." Jax snarled off heated lips before marching off for this bike and speeding away.
Everyone stood around for a moment, stunned like they had just witnessed a massive roadside accident. The guys avoided Dean's gaze, but couldn't help the sideways glances as he moved past them. So many had wondered about him and Haley. They couldn't exactly say they were completely surprised.
Walking toward the back to clean up Dean wouldn't meet his mother's waiting gaze as he passed her, but she didn't miss the opportunity to give him a piece of her mind. "I warned you this would bite you in the ass when it all came out." Gemma's tone held predictability, but her words came out of love. Even if she didn't agree with her son's mistake she'd stand by him through it.
Dean never looked her way as her disappointed words hit his back. Head hung low as blood dripped from his open lip, and his heart felt heavy with guilty betrayal, Dean left his own parting words. "Well congratulations, you were right." His breath shot off heavy and sarcastic before he disappeared.
Hey, hey, My, my
Rock and roll can never die
There's more to the picture Than meets the eye
Hey, hey, My, my
Thinking It Over
I've been searching for reason and I'm running out of time
I can feel that it's the season, Time to make up my mind
Gemma called Haley as soon as she got back inside the office. Mad as hell her boys had turned on each other, exactly as she had predicted, but still she reached out to the girl ripping them apart. Gemma gave Haley, a girl she loved like a daughter, one more chance to fix this, to set it right.
Haley had been driving around looking for Jax when she got the call. Heart breaking, the weight of the tragedy falling heavy on her heart, Haley said she'd be right there with tears burning in her eyes.
Haley reached the auto body garage at lightening speed. Gemma met her in the parking lot, told her she could find Dean in his room in the back of the clubhouse. Gemma's approach was sweeter then Haley expected, but then the retribution Haley knew she had coming summoned in Gemma's eyes. "Fix this." Her pursed lips shot off in warning before she abruptly turned away.
Haley found Dean exactly where Gemma said he'd be. He sat on the edge of his bed, head hung low as he held a dirty cloth to his bloody lip. He didn't move until she stepped closer to him, and Dean realized it was Haley.
Reaching the front of him before her step halted, Haley felt the tears rushing to her eyes on impact as soon as she caught site of his face. "Oh my god, you're bleeding." The heartache was heavy on her worried breath, as she let her purse fall off her shoulder, and reached for the bloody rag ready to tend to him.
Dean let her take the blood stained rag from his grip, but then he surprised her, and took her hand. Haley's orbs were glued to his swollen purple eye before darting down onto his shapely pout that was split open by a slit along his lower lip. As she felt his rough textured hand touch her own, Haley's gaze finally fell to Dean's. Silently they held each other's eyes in the moment. A moment that made their feelings for each other undeniable in their eyes.
Seeing her tears bordered along the edges of her eyes, Dean's heart sunk. "It's not as bad as it looks." His low gravel riddled breath reassured her.
Haley's big unrelenting orbs held onto Dean's, her fear never lessening, her guilt still blinding in her gaze,
"Wanna kiss it and make it better." Dean shot off sarcastically with a wicked smirk trying to ease the pain in her eyes. Trying to get her to smile that beautiful smile he loved so much.
Dean's predictable sarcastic humor got in under her skin even when she didn't want it too. One of the things she loved most about him, how he could always put a smile on her face. A grin edged across Haley's lips as she pulled her hand back from his hold, but kept steady with his eyes. "Not funny," She tried her hardest to be serious for the seriousness of this situation, even if Dean's tricky ways were putting a smile on her lips.
Dean held her orbs in his captive hold. Unwilling to release her, because this was the first time since she got back with Jax that they had touched each other so deeply. They were friends, shared comfortable time together, but this was the first time since she became Jax's again that the feelings they tried so hard to kill came to the surface saying quietly, they'd never go away.
"I wasn't joking." Dean smirked at her, before his tempting tongue brushed across his lip where it wasn't broken.
He watched Haley swallow hard, he could see something inside her battling with how she felt for him. How badly she wanted to kiss him too, the urge was blinding in her eyes.
Am I ready for forever,
Oh, God, show me a sign
Cause if we're to be together, Then it's got to be divine
Breaking the spell before she succumbed to it's wishes, Haley abruptly turned from Dean and went into his bathroom, adjoined with his room. Getting a fresh wash cloth, she dampened it with cold water. Taking her time, to give herself the space needed to get back into the right frame of mind. When Haley felt safe with herself around Dean again, she went back to him. With the gentlest of touches, Haley tilted Dean's chin up before she softly dabbed at his bloody lip, taking care of him like he had for her.
He could hear her breathing grow thick before she finally spoke. "I'm sorry Dean. I never wanted you to get hurt. I never wanted to come between you and Jax, but it stops here. I promise it stops here." Her emotion thick breath made a promise to herself. The hammer that broke two brothers she cared so much for apart. That was never what Haley wanted to be. That was the last thing she ever wanted to be. She would either end up with one of them or walk away from both if she had too, but she couldn't do this anymore.
Dean took her by surprised again as he reached out and tucked a strand of her silky locks behind her ear. The softness of his gentle touch sent her eyes crashing back onto his.
"I don't want to lose you…" Dean confessed from the heart, his voice husky and deep as he spoke. Their eyes froze again, hearts pounding, chills running under their skin. What he was saying was huge. They both knew he didn't mean as a friend.
Dean's grasp slipped from her mane to caress her cheek. "I'm not good at this. Saying how I feel. You know I'm not… Jax is my brother and I would die for him, but…" Something in Dean's eyes grew frantic, his thumb swept across her skin as his voice thickened.
"Damnit, I love you Haley. And if you chose me… You could choose me, you could still choose me." Dean's words came out disjointed as they slipped freely from his heart. He wasn't poetic with his tongue, he wasn't good at sharing his heart at all. Never had been, and that was part of the reason he never really gave his heart before, but looking into Haley's honey orbs he realized he had already given it to her and now she needed to know that. That he wanted to fight for her.
Tears uncontrollably filled Haley's eyes with Dean's revelation. Even though she had already known it, felt certain of it, to actually hear him tell her he loved her broke Haley. Warm salty droplets silently slipped down her cheeks as she held his eyes. Her heart pounded as she felt torn in two all over again. Grabbing his hand from her cheek, Haley took it into her palms.
Bringing it to her full soft lips, tenderly she kissed his hand as her eyes held his own with a love she couldn't deny from him in that moment. Pulling his hand from her lips, Haley never let go, in fact she held on stronger. With a quiet step Haley took a seat beside Dean on his bed. Snuggling close to his side, she gripped his hand tight as her head softly landed on his shoulder.
Wiping her tears from her dampened cheeks, Haley sucked in a shuttered breath that rattled in her chest before she softly spoke. "I love you too." She whispered to him, and finally felt his hand squeeze her back extra tight. Saying without words he heard her, he felt it.
They sat their silently for a moment, terrified by what this meant for them. There was no shoving this love back in the closest now that it had come out and been acknowledged, but it didn't change the fact that she loved Jax too. That her heart was breaking for hurting him the way she has, from lying to him, and all the years it had been them. Haley was terrified that if Jax said he could get past this, that he still wanted her, still loved her, she knew a part of her would want noting more then to go back to him. While another part wanted to stay with Dean forever.
As if the forces of life heard her internal struggle and knew it was time to make the choice, Haley heard the sound of her cell phone ringing instantly fill the room with sound.
Dean and Haley's eyes flashed briefly to each other, before she moved to retrieve her phone from her purse. Taking a heavy seat back on Dean's bed, Haley sucked in a deep breath, and answered it. Her eyes fell closed as the ripping sensation took life in her chest when she heard Jax's voice on the other end. "I'm sorry I freaked out… I was gone, we weren't together… I know you have feeling for Dean, but I love you. I want to work through this." Jax's voice was thick and gritty on the line, clouded with emotion that came from his heart.
Haley's eyes held with Dean's as if he already knew what his brother was saying. Haley listened to Jax with her ears and heart. An organ inside her chest that was being ripped into two. A tug-a-war had been raging inside her ever since Jax returned, but sitting there in that moment. The truth out, both men giving her their heart, Haley knew she had to make a choice. She knew what she had to do. The only answer that would satisfy her heart. Taking a deep breath, Haley made up her mind, and opened her lips to give the final answer.
And I can't really tell ya what I'm gonna do
There are so many thoughts in my head
There are two roads to walk down, And one road to choose
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said
Placebo, "Blind"
Battleme, "Hey, hey, My, my"
Dana Glover, "Thinking It Over"
Note: I wanted to leave the ending Ambiguous. I want the reader to decide who she chose. So everyone wins.