Chapter 3:
The Boggart and the Beast
*Static *
S: Welcome, oh dearest friends and listeners, to another Great Broadcasting of Pranks and Enjoyable Ways of Disturbance!
J: Again with the name. Didn't we already decide on another one?
R: You know we never did really. But even so, todays show is about the boggart we put in Slughorns dressing cabinet.
S: What wonderful memories.
J: It wasn't that wonderful really. I had a traumatic experience while we tried to get the boggart.
R: Hm, I remember something about Padfoot roaring with laughter and Prongs shrieking in suffering...
J: It was more than just suffering... It was agony. Pain beyond imagination.
S: It was hilarious was it!
P: I can't remember this...
S: Sorry Wormy, but back then we had to get under the invisibility cloak to get the boggart from the Defence against the Dark Arts office, and there's only room for three at a time you know.
J: I can't describe how happy I am with you not being there Wormtail. You would've seen some awful things...
S: Hilarious things!
P: But, what happened?
J: ...
R: Hehe, it is kind of funny... Well what happened was that-
J: LALALA let's talk about something else!
S: Hehehe! We had to carry the chest with the boggart, and I might have, by pure accident, dropped the chest in front of Prongs. Hehehe!
J: I thought my world was going to end...
R: Haha! The expression on your face was priceless Prongs.
S: Out of the chest jumps none other than Lily Evans WITH HER DAD RIGHT BEHIND HER!
J: Please stop it! The horror... THE HORROR!
S: Evans shrieks to her father that this is the boy who have been making googly eyes at her and harassed her for two years!
R: Haha, Prongs you looked like a boiled lobster!
S: Evans father starts yelling at Prongs all «You won't ever lay eyes on my daughter, you horny teenager! Get away with those hairy palms of yours!»
P: Hahaha!
J: Please Pads, I beg you to stop...
R: Hehe... Maybe that's enough Sirius.
S: And the boggart version of Evans puts up a «Take that you bastard, you better stop looking at me!» expression!
R: Padfoot, I think that's enough...
S: Not only that but she starts to-
J: PADFOOT! THAT'S IT! LEVICORPUS!
R: JAMES!
P: By Merlin...!
S: Holy shi- ! OY! JAMES! Put me the hell down!
J: Aha! Not until I've told Hogwarts about when you snogged Millie «Underlip» Fasta!
S: No... No you promised not to tell!
J: And so did you dearest Padfoot...
R: Expelliarmus!
*Wham! *
J: Owwie owwie ow! Damn it Moony, I was just joking around... No need to get so violent.
P: Ha... Haha...
S: Yeah Moony, couldn't you have let me down a little less painful?
R: You deserved what you got! Both of you!
J: Pfff, yeah right!
S: You're stupid Moony!
R: So now you're best friends again, eh? And I'm the stupid one?
J: We were never NOT best friends... You should start to pay more attention Moony...
S: Yeah! Seriously... Hehe!
R: Please don't start with that again... I'm willing to forget what has happened if you just don't start with the «Sirius/Siriusly» jokes.
J: Fine we won't start. I'm serious.
P: No he is.
S & J: HEHEHE! Good one Wormtail!
R: Then I mean you too Wormtail!
P: S-sorry Moony...
R: Fine. Let's just start with how we planned the prank and how it played out...
S: That's a reasonably good idea, Moony!
J: Oh hello Professor Binns! When did you arrive?
S: Shut it Prongs!
R: The plan was to sneak out the boggart during night and place it in Slughorns private cabinet. The first part was rather easy, as we had Prongs' invisibility cloak with us! We managed to take the chest and-
S: With some minor problems
R: Get it to Slughorns room.
J: You know, when I think about it, I'm quite amazed that none of the teachers heard us while we had the... Minor problems...
S: Yeah me too! You'd think that at least one of them would have come running to the sobs of James Potter and Evans fathers shouts!
J: I did not cry!
S: Fine you didn't...
R: Anyway, the tricky part was getting the boggart into the closet without Slughorn hearing, or noticing us!
P: I never got how you did it...
S: It was quite simple really! Alohomora the door and-
R: As far as I remember I was the one who opened the door... You wanted to blast your way through it...
S: Reducto is such a fun spell to use!
J: It is isn't it? Stuff just being blasted to nothing!
P: Hehe!
S: The room was the hardest part of all! How to get past it without waking up Slughorn? We pondered this-
J: Which basically means that Moony figured it out
S: And figured that a silencing charm on ourselves would be the best choice!
J: Hehe! You managed to burn off the toes on your shoes when trying to do it!
R: Haha! I had to do it for you Padfoot.
S: Shut it you two! Charms were never my best subject!
R: In the end we managed to put the boggart in the closet, and take the chest back to the Defence Against the Dark Arts office.
J: Next morning-
S: Very EARLY morning...
J: We flew up on our brooms, that would be me, Pads and Moony flew up, while Wormtail sat clinging to my back behind me... His private quarters are actually on the fourth floor...
P: I don't like flying...
S: WHAT, REALLY? I have never noticed!
R: The look on Slughorns face when an entire heap of people poured out of his closet was hilarious! They were all pretty famous witches and wizards though.
S: They all said the same: I quit the Slug Club!
J: It was nothing but hysterical! He whined and screamed and begged for them to stay! I almost fell off my broom!
S: It wasn't that fun when McGonnagal came bursting into the room and killed the boggart with just a flick of her wand...
J: Not so funny when she saw us outside the window either... She actually pulled us in with magic!
P: It was so scary...
R: Hehe, she didn't get me though! I got away!
S: You left us did you! Just when you saw her coming in you fled as the coward you are!
R: Oy, I'm a gryffindor too you know... I don't care anyway. But I must admit that it was quite much fun to hear her reprimand you!
S: What? You heard that? How?
R: Who said I left entirely? I just zoomed away, then came back and hovered underneath the window for a while. I can vaguely remember a certain Padfoot begging for merc-
S: And that's all we have time for Hogwarts! Tune in next week for an all new Great Broadcasting of Pranks and Enjoyable Ways of Disturbance!
R: -lying on the floor pleading for her not to throw hi-
P: Bye!
J: HAHAHA BYE!
S: SHUT IT MOONY, OR I'LL...!
*Static *