A/N: I'm sorry, so sorry it took so long for an update :( but I suck and that's the only excuse I have really... forgive me? Pretty please? Erm lots of people are going to update today because how awesome the readers are... I know I don't have many of you but you are extra awesome cause you're mine... i decided :)

5th January 2005 Edward's POV

I didn't bother to look back. I didn't even bother to check where I was heading; I just knew I had to leave. The girl was too much. Her simple appearance broke my heart more than I thought was possible. She seemed so much like my Bella that I probably would have run anyway. But then her blood, dear god her blood. I'd never smelt anything like it. I would gladly never drink again if it meant I could have just one drop. I imagine it would be the most satisfying drop in existence. I felt the venom pool in my mouth and the burn in my throat just from thinking about it. It would forever be burnt into my memory now.

I found myself in a forest; I was surrounded by the colors green and brown. I thought back to my human years and how perfectly those colors used to fit together, the haunting green of my own eyes and the deep brown of my Bella's. I should have dropped down on one knee the moment I laid my eyes on her. She had been unlike any woman I'd ever seen. Bella spoke her mind and wasn't afraid of being improper. It was just one of the many things that drew me too her. That small amount of time we'd shared together as mortals could have lasted so much longer if I'd just had the guts to listen to my heart and what it had been saying from the second. Bella had stumbled into my life. Bella certainly hadn't been shy when it came to making her intentions clear. It was as if she'd always known how perfect we were meant to be together.

I caught the scent of a deer in the distance and made my way towards it; maybe if I fed the thirst in me would calm slightly. My teeth sunk into the deer's neck as if it were made from butter. I drained the creature completely dry. The blood calmed the burn slightly but didn't remove it. Nothing about the animal was satisfying usually and now it was even worse. I was still thinking about the girl's blood. I growled in frustration and hit a nearby tree; it snapped with ease causing a loud crashing sound to break the tense silence that had taken over the forest.

I continued running north. Maybe I would visit Alaska. The only other vegetarian coven in existence resided there. They'd been alive much longer than my own family and would have greater knowledge of certain things. I hoped one of them could shed some light on why this girl's blood appealed to me so.

I heard the thoughts of Tanya as I'd approached. She'd always made me feel uncomfortable. She had never bothered hiding what her intentions were with me. Even while I was with Bella she'd shamelessly flirt and her thoughts were often quite vulgar. It wasn't me specifically that she thought like this about but most men in general. Tanya and her sisters, Kate and Irina, were the origins of the succubus legends. Kate and Irina weren't as bad as Tanya; they drew the line when it came to vampires that were already mated, they knew how strong those bonds were, human men they weren't so bothered about however. I groaned when I realized this would be my first time seeing Tanya since my Bella had left. If she had no tact then I shuddered to think how she'd be now.

"Edward, what a nice surprise." Eleazar greeted as I approached the house.

"I hope my visit isn't inconveniencing in anyway, but I didn't know where else to go." I explained as he led me into the sitting room where the rest of his coven was seated. Immediately I was bombarded with Tanya's thoughts. I tried to ignore them to the best of my ability.

"It's honestly no hassle dear." reassured Carmen.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate this." I explained, "I just don't think I could of stayed in Forks any longer."

"What happened?" inquired Kate.

"Have you ever smelt a person's blood that tempted you more than anything you could have imagined?" I chose to ignore the issue of the girl's resemblance to my Bella, they would have just thought I was crazy. There was no possible explanation for it.

"Personally, no I haven't but I have heard of rumors of things like this during my time in Italy. But of course you can guess how those tales ended." I flinched as the thoughts ran through his mind. I didn't need to be reminded of how easy it would be to of just taken her blood. "Have you spoken to Carlisle about this development? I assume by your question this means you have experienced this. Am I correct?"

"Yes. There was a child in Forks, her blood smelt so appealing all I could think about was taking every last drop there and then. And no I haven't spoken to Carlisle yet. I fled as soon as I could. The farther away from her I am, the better." he nodded in understanding.

"You mean you didn't kill her?"

"No, but I was so tempted. I imagined myself killing her in so many ways. I didn't even care who I had to kill to get to her." the guilt tore though me as I remembered how worthless I'd considered the lives of so many during that hour.

"Edward, don't you realize how amazing it is that you were able to resist at all? No one else has done that. All these other vampires drained the blood of their temptations straight away with no thought. Your control amazes me." I didn't believe him, I still thought of myself as a monster. No person with a conscience would have even imagined doing the things I was picturing. "Well obviously you are free to stay as long as you wish Edward, but do consider talking to Carlisle; he may be able to help." I absorbed his words and put them to the back of my mind for a later time. Right now I just wanted to clear my head further.

The coven all went on a quick hunt to pass time. They chose not to integrate with society as much as we did. Even though they maintained the same life style as us, they never felt the need to go to school or get jobs. They were happy as they were, even if it did leave them with large amounts of spare time.

I chose to go for another run. I'd already done plenty by now; but this time there was less urgency. It was no longer about running away, I'd already done that. This time was simply about clearing my head. I found a clearing and decided to rest. Not that I needed the rest, the place just seemed serene. I lay back and looked towards the sky. It always seemed so clear here. There was little light pollution and so much space. I could see every single star there was. My problems all seemed so significant when looking at something so extraordinary. I found myself wondering if my Bella was looking up at the same night sky. Was it even night where she was? I imagined that we were both staring at the same stars thinking about each other. Part of me wished that the sun wouldn't rise, that we could just be together even if just for one more night.

Lost in thoughts of Bella I almost didn't hear Tanya approaching. I internally groaned. I'd known it was only a matter of time before she sought me out.

"Hey Edward." she greeted as she placed herself on the ground next to me. I shifted away from her slightly yet it didn't seem to deter her.

"Tanya" I acknowledged with a nod of the head.

"I heard about what happened with Bella." she informed me not so subtly. The woman had no tact. I chose not to respond.

"You know all of this moping won't do you any good. It was just a woman. Don't beat yourself up so much." I stared at her blankly. Did she not realize how idiotic she sounded? Bella had been my everything, surly she could have understood that. She wasn't just a woman; she'd been my life. Tanya shifted closer again.

"I could always help you forget you know." she hinted seductively. Her thoughts were filled with the many ways she was willing to 'help' me.

"Tanya just stop. Please stop. I'm not interested. Don't you get it? Even if I can't have Bella, there still won't be anyone else for me. She was the one for me, you don't even come close."

"How can you know, you've never even tried Edward. She's been gone over a year. She won't come back. Have you even looked at another woman since?" The truth was I had looked at another woman. It was the girl from school. Her long silky brown hair, her pale skin and deep brown eyes. But deep down I knew it was only because of the similarities she shared with Bella that she caught my attention at all. At least that's what I told myself. Part of me was too afraid to think what would happen if I was to delve deeper into this girl and find out about her. What if she drew me in more ways?

"Tanya, no. I'm not interested in you! I wish you'd just leave me alone. I'm not in the mood for this." I stated firmly.

"I don't see why you're so hung up on this girl. She was nothing special. Heck she didn't even stay Edward!"

"Don't you dare speak about her like that again!" I yelled, "She may of left, but never tell me she was nothing special, she was everything! She was my everything." all of the emotions I'd been attempting to bury for the past year suddenly came to the surface. I could feel myself being crushed under the weight of the feelings.

"Oh get over it Edward!"

"Just leave now Tanya, please just leave." I was practically begging as tearless sobs took over my body. Tanya decided to try a more direct approach. She came right up close and ran her hand though my hair, her mouth was at my ear.

"I could make you forget Edward, I could show you things she would never dream of doing." she whispered. I threw myself away from her.

"I would have never dreamt of them either Tanya, because you're not her! I wouldn't dream of anything without her! No one could come close to her!" one person could come close, "there is no one like her!" there is one person like her, "just leave…. Please." I begged as I feel to my knees.

After she left my thought stayed on Bella, I knew she had been it for me. I was lost without her. I missed her smile, I missed her sweet voice, I missed the way she felt in my arms, I missed the way she felt when we were connected in the most intimate of ways. I missed her so much. I would give anything for even the smallest amount of her I could get.

My thoughts began to drift back to the girl from school. She was so much like my Bella in her appearance. Even her name was the same. I began to wonder what else could be similar. I mentally scolded myself. This wasn't my Bella; surly getting to know her would simply be using her as a replacement. No one could come close in my heart. I would be wrong to even try wouldn't it? But what if there's a reason they're so similar, what if I'm meant to get to know this new Bella. My Bella had told me before she left to trust my instincts, to never feel I was betraying her. Could this of been what she meant. My instincts were drawing me to this new Bella, could she bring back my happiness? Was it selfish to use this girl just because she had the same physical attributes as the woman I loved? I thought back to the time before she left and the happiness I felt with her. Bella completed me, there was no question about it. Then I compared it to the desolation I felt without her. The loneliness was bringing everyone down. I owed it to myself and my family to try and find some happiness.

That's when I made up my mind. I would get to know this new Bella. She may never fill the hole left by my love but maybe she could soothe the ache there. I just had to find a way to desensitize myself to the lure of her blood. I had become a selfish creature yet at that instant I felt no remorse. For the first time ever I was going to think entirely of myself. Hopefully I wouldn't regret the decision.

5th January 2005 Human Bella's POV

Edward Cullen hated me. I didn't even know why. The look of pure hatred he shot me during biology chilled me to the bone. Of course my seat had to be next to him. Everyone else seemed to go on about how he was so indifferent and quiet, not paying attention to anyone, yet he had to go an notice me, he had to hate me. I didn't even know why it was bothering me so much. He was just another boy. There were millions of them out there; why did I care what this one thought? I tried to tell myself over and over again that I really didn't care; but I knew I was lying. Something about him just drew me in, he fascinated me and I had barely learnt anything about him.

I tried to piece together everything I knew about him, so far I had his name, the names of his family members, the fact he was quiet and the fact he hated me. I was clearly off to a great start. I felt he had a great sadness as well. I wanted to help him get rid of it. I really was losing it. I wanted to help the guy that looked like he'd prefer if I'd never existed. I was a masochist obviously.

When I got home I made my dad, Charlie, some dinner. I didn't really know what to do him; I didn't know him very well. I'd only recently moved in a few days before. I had been living with my mom and her husband Phil, but Phil travelled a lot and I decided it would be easier on my mom if I came to live here for a while. Plus it was awkward living in a house with newlyweds. The walls weren't the thickest. In the end I settled on simply cooking some pasta. I made a note to do some shopping soon; it was clearly the kitchen of a bachelor.

We ate dinner in silence. Charlie wasn't really one for conversation. It was one of the things I was already growing to like about him. Mom had always hassled me for information about school even though nothing ever happened. After I cleared the plates he excused himself to the living room to watch the TV and I made my way upstairs.

I decided to check my emails expecting to find one from mom but she hadn't sent one yet. I figured she must still be on the road. I decided I'd send her a text before going to sleep to let her know I was safe and was thinking of her. Then I found myself facing the age old dilemma of having nothing to do. My eyes scanned my room searching out forms of entertainment. The room had never changed much over the years I still had the same curtains and the same furniture, heck even my old rocking chair still sat in the corner. I used to visit the house every summer until I was 12 but that slowly stopped. The only new addition was the computer sat on the desk in front of me.

Staring at the computer is when I decided to see whether any of the Cullens had a Myspace or a Bebo. All teenagers did these days right? I signed in on Myspace and decided to search the last name Cullen. Cleaver me didn't realize that it could actually be a popular last name but I figured searching for the ones listed as living in Forks could very well kill time. The first one I came across was Alice Cullen. Judging by her profile picture I could see she was the shorter of the females. Then I realized I'd had a bit of a duh moment, the other female was a Hale not a Cullen. Her profile was very colorful but not in an annoying way that I found to be common these days, it was as if she was a clearly cheerful person but wasn't trying too hard to be seen as happy. Or maybe I'd just spent way too long bored online over analyzing people's Myspace layouts. I decided to add her as a friend, I couldn't hurt right? She seemed friendly enough I guess.

Edward was harder to find though and when I did I could see the account was brand new. There was nothing even added so far, not even a picture. I didn't know whether to add him to friends or not. Would he of been annoyed? Maybe I'd try again at a later date.

I looked at the clock and saw it was nearing 10pm. I'd spent longer on line than I realized. I decided to refresh my email one more time before logging off and settling into bed for the night. I had my cell phone in my hand ready to text my mom when I noticed Alice had accepted my friend request and left me a comment.

A/N: I'm sorry my first update in yonks was so lame aswell lol...seriously I'm not happy with that small human Bella point of view :(. God it's been that long since an update that I completely missed David leaving!... well I saw it obviously... cried my little eyes out! but I missed it on here if that makes sense... but yeah as I said at the top thanks soooo much to the people actually reading this, i get not many people like the idea of twilight and doctor who crossing over but I'm so glad that at least some of you do! You make me smile! *kisses*... tbh... if I come back and change that Bella POV at a later date don't blame me... I'm actually glaring at it right now... I will tell you if I change it though so don't worry.

Michaela

xx