Spoilers: None.

Summary: In which two plots unfold.

Author's Note: First off, I'd really like to thank those who reviewed, as well as the ones who put this story on alert and favorite! It gives me a nice feeling, knowing that people appreciate my work! :) Hopefully this chapter lives up to expectations. Just a forewarning, there's a little bit of bad language in this chapter. Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter and drop me a review!

Conspire

"If you do not leave my desk alone, I will kill you with this paperclip! Very slowly. Now move!"

Throughout the last week and a half, Abby had noticed a problem. The normally love/hate relationship of Tony and Ziva had turned into mostly hate with a dash of the cold shoulder.

Various rumors were thrown around the office ranging from case-related competition to something of a more personal nature. And for the latter, there were several rumors as well: a spat because they weren't together, yet… but they will be! Pray God, or because they secretly were and had a lovers' quarrel.

"Calm down, David. I was just borrowing your stapler. I didn't realize that warranted the death penalty nowadays."

Tony walked back to his own desk, sat down at his computer and began punching a few keys much harder than was strictly necessary.

"McGee, I have some computer-y stuff to discuss with you down in my lab. Come with me."

The pointed look Abby sent McGee left no room for argument, so he followed her out of the bullpen and into the elevator. Abby could only pray Tony and Ziva didn't kill each other before Gibbs came back.

"Okay, so, wha-"

Whatever McGee attempted to say had been cut short by Abby's forceful tug on his lapel, which pulled him into her lab before she shut the door.

"McGee, we have a major problem! How does this not bother you?"

"Oh, but it does. What's supposed to bother me again?"

"Tony and Ziva! They've been at it for days and they need to cut it out!"

"Oh, Abby, no. No. Come on!"

A dirty look from the forensic scientist effectively closed McGee's mouth and made him realize his fate was now sealed. He was helping Abby with whatever plan she had whether he liked it or not.

"Look, we have to get them to settle whatever issues they have. It's driving me crazy seeing them like this!"

"But what can we do about it? No one, that includes me, knows why they're fighting."

"What about Gibbs?"

"Abby-"

"Yeah, you're right. Best not to involve Gibbs in this."

"It's best not to involve anyone in this, but you seem to be throwing caution to the wind anyway."

McGee's words fell flat because Abby was too busy typing madly on her keyboard.

"Just a little bit… there!"

In response to Abby's exclamation, McGee's head whipped around to face her.

"Wait, you're done already? What did you need me for, then? And I probably shouldn't be asking, but… okay, okay, what are you gonna do?"

Abby smiled, satisfied. "Elevator."

"I know where this is going, and it's so cliché! And it almost never works in real life. TV shows and movies just glamorize it! Knowing Tony and Ziva, which I do very well, they will most likely kill each other. Well, Ziva will most likely kill Tony."

"Oh, it will work. I'll make sure of it."

McGee, who was already sitting at Abby's desk, just laid his head down in his folded arms in defeat. He prayed to anyone who would listen that his co-workers weren't found dead in aforementioned elevator after all was said and done.

oOo

"DiNozzo, David, go check out the crime scene again."

Tony and Ziva groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Do I need to say it again? Go!"

"On it, boss!"

They picked up their backpacks and rushed to the elevator, leaving their irritated boss behind.

Ping.

The elevator doors closed behind them and they started their downward journey to the garage. Until the elevator ground to a halt.

"What the hell?"

"Typical."

"This is all your fault!"

"Mine? Excuse me, David, but I believe you were the one who touched the buttons last. I think this is your fault."

"Ridiculous. How could simply pressing a button make this my fault?"

"Exactly. It's just as ridiculous as blaming me when I didn't do anything."

"Oh, you did do something."

"Seriously? We're going to talk about this now?" Tony groaned in frustration and had to resist the urge to facepalm. He sat down on the floor heavily instead.

"I don't see why not. It seems we are stuck in here."

"No shit, Sherlock. Fine. Please, hit me with your list of grievances, Ziva."

"You ruined my date! On purpose!"

"I did not! You told me to bring the file by any time, so I did! How was I supposed to know you were on a date?"

"In the middle of dinner at a restaurant, Tony? Come on. How did you even know where I was, anyway?"

"That is beside the point. I gave you the file when it was convenient for me, which was the whole reason you said 'any time' to begin with."

"Idiota! You're so infuriating!"

"Hey! Right back at you, Zee-vah!"

All of a sudden they both quiet and look at each other, a proverbial light bulb going off.

"No…. They would not."

"Oh, really? This is Abby we're talking about. And probably McNerd, too. That explains why he was dragged off for 'computer-y stuff' earlier. Pfft, 'computer-y stuff' should have given us our first clue."

"We are both idiots," Ziva actually does facepalm at this. "What should we do?"

"Well, presumably this was all to get us to stop arguing. Apparently we weren't so subtle."

A not-so-delicate snort came from Ziva at this.

"Chances are, Abby is waiting somewhere near the elevator, listening for yelling. I'm sure McGee already warned her we'd kill each other, so silence would most likely freak her out."

"So, we start yelling again. Then what?"

"Heh. You're not gonna like this."

One look from Tony told her everything she needed to know. She really wouldn't like it. Not outwardly anyway.

"What? No!"

"Come on! Just when we hear the elevator start back up again."

Her face went through a myriad of expressions at this, until it finally landed on resignation.

"Okay, okay. What about the arguing?"

"No time like the present to finish airing out your grievances. G'head, let me have it."

Apparently they'd been silent enough for a while, because the elevator jolted to life again.

"Never mind about that last part. No time."

"Wha-!"

Ziva's sentence was cut off midway by Tony's hands grabbing her face and crashing his lips onto hers. Her surprise lasted only a second before she responded to him enthusiastically, snaking one hand around to the back of his head and bringing the other to rest on his chest. Tony's hands had made their way downward, one halting at her upper back and the other falling dangerously close to Ziva's ass.

Ping.

"Oh, my God! I knew it! Yes!"

The two took a little too long to disengage themselves, finally looking over to find an overjoyed Abby and a clearly stunned McGee.

"Well… I wasn't expecting that."

A throat being cleared from behind McGee brought their attention over to their boss.

"Time for us to go!"

Abby and McGee awkwardly walk off, skirting around Gibbs.

"Boss, this isn't-"

Tony's words are silenced by one look from Gibbs, telling Tony he wasn't buying it.

Dual head slaps occurred, stunning both Tony and Ziva.

"That's for baiting Abby. You know she likes to play matchmaker!"

With that, Gibbs walked off, leaving a silent Tony and Ziva behind.

Author's Note: I'll point this out, in case anyone is wondering: occasionally I'll be switching back and forth between present and past tense (though typically not within the same chapter), just to kind of 'flex' my writing muscles a bit (they're so stiff from disuse, lol). If you guys have any words you'd like to see me use in this story (next up is 'D'), please let me know and I'll see what I can do! :)