Chapter 4

Tiredness dogged Kyle's footsteps all the way to his desk but he was determined to write to Jessi before he went to bed. It had been 2 weeks since her last email and he had yet to write back, he didn't want to Jessi to worry or to even contemplate coming back to check up on him. No, it would be best if she stayed where she was, for the moment, letting him know that she was safe and out of harms way. And the only way to do that was to send an email back to her making sure he did give the slightest hint of what was really going on.

Reaching his desk Kyle opened up his email and began...

Dear Jessi,

To have you so far away, all alone and grieving pains me but I know that the path you're taking will lead you to finally find peace in your life.

I think getting to know who Sarah was and how she lived is a great idea but please be very careful as you don't know what you will find or who will be watching, and as important as it is to find out who Sarah was to you, you are more important than any potential information we could ever get especially to me. Nicole said that life is for the living and although we can learn from the past we must not get stuck there and I have to agree with her Jessi; you need to move on with your life, you need to embrace the fact that you are free and alive things that Sarah desperately wanted for both yourself and her. And even though she is no longer her with us I know that she would be so proud of you for carrying on and moving forward.

You have already made progress: making a new friend, Claudia. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have gained such confidence and self esteem in the short time that you have been away from us. I could hear the excitement and awe in your tone of voice when reading your email concerning your new found friendship with Claudia. The fact that Claudia wanted to be your friend comes as such a surprise to you that it saddens me that you have never felt worthy of friendship, you have also never seen what an amazing person you are and the fact that you have so much to offer that any friend of yours would be very lucky indeed. You are very special Jessi and even though you have not had a conventional start you have learnt and adapted to new challenges that were thrown at you, some hard, some you should not of had to go through but you have come through all of it and turned into an extraordinary woman.

When reading your email I realised finally just how right you were to leave and it pains me on how naive I was not to see just how much damage we were doing to your quest to discover who you are. Here everybody including me put you under so much pressure to be like me that in the end I think you would have finally snapped. We all forgot that you and I are not completely the same like we had originally thought and maybe had hoped: we have very different personalities and much of that has been influenced by our environment but I also think it goes deep than that. Adam and Sarah our ancestors were made for each other as they were each other's opposites complementing each other perfectly. But due to outside interference and egos they lost sight of what was important – each other. Until recently it seemed like we were following in their footsteps by letting outside forces drive us apart and they nearly did, but you saved the day. And not with your usual kick-butt-take-charge attitude but by leaving and making me realise just how much I need you and just how much I miss you when you're gone. You are my yin to my yang and I think it's about time everybody stop trying to make you more like me because I love you for you. Instead we should of natured and helped you discover who you are and who you want to be and for that I am truly sorry and I promise from now on there will be no more pressure to be me so you go ahead and be you.

On a happier note the Trager's say hi and Nicole wants me to let you know that if you need anything please don't hesitate to call her. On other news Lori has been accepted into UDUB and so has Declan much to Mark's annoyance and Declan's glee, so it should be interesting to see how it all plays out when they start next semester. Josh is slowly coming to terms with the fact that Andy has gone and has finally put on some clean clothes and left the house, but I wouldn't worry too much about Josh as Andy was just as bad as Josh maybe even worse. Prompting her parents to come to the decision that if she wants to she can live with her aunt here for a year allowing her to be with Josh and they will reassess the situation periodically every 6 months. But Josh doesn't know any of this as Andy wants to make sure that everything is in place before she gets Josh's hopes up and once she has confirmation then I think she's planning on surprising him at school by just showing up in his lesson.

Stephen and Nicole are doing pretty good too and Nicole has even started to practice again and take on new clients which is great, as she has spent too long solely focusing on us neglecting her career and at times even put it in jeopardy. I think it's about time she got back to doing what she loves: helping others.

With everyone moving forward with their lives I feel as if I am stuck, I don't know what I am waiting for but all I know is that when I find it I will be able to move on with my life. I have an inkling on what it is but I'm not a hundred percent sure yet and so I'm just attempting to make the best of it. But now I think Steven has started to pick up on the fact that I don't have a clear direction just yet on where I want to go and I know it won't be long before he starts to ask questions and he involves Nicole and we can't afford that at the moment, as we have other things that we have to deal with...

Looking at that last sentence Kyle knew that he couldn't write that and he couldn't understand how he could have slipped up when he had been doing so well in keeping the email Latnok free, luckily all he had to do was edit the sentence before he pressed sent because he was determined for Jessi not to know anything about what was going on at home.

...and I know it won't be long before he starts to ask questions and he involves Nicole. So I was considering going away with Foss to continue the training that Adam had planned for me which will give me time to figure everything out and of course make Foss happy.

There will be a time when we will need to deal with Latnok and I am nowhere near as ready as you are so this will enable me to not only protect myself but it will also ensure that I will be able to watch your back.

I have to go Jessi but before I do I was wondering if I managed to get away, covering my tracks, would it be ok for me to visit you as I really really need to see you. I miss you and its driving me insane. I know you need space and I promised to respect that but even if it's for a few hours, I really just need to see you; see that you're alright and just be near you. As since you left I have felt empty. I never realise just how use to our connection I was until you had gone and although it was bearable in the beginning I can't stand it any longer.

Please let me know what you decide.

Always,

Kyle.

And with that Kyle hit the send button and shut down his computer glad that it was done and now he could rest his wary body. He was just so tired, the fight with the Latnok's agents who had took Josh had just taken too much out of him, not to mention the fact that Foss had gotten shot but luckily it was a flesh wound. Kyle knew that the trauma of today's events would stay with everyone for a long time and Kyle could barely look at Nicole or Josh in eye after the rescue as he knew that he had let everybody down by letting Latnok get so close. Also his lack of offense against Latnok had allowed them to get so close and almost succeeding as everybody knew that Kyle would do anything for his loved ones. He had to take the fight to them if he wanted to protect everybody. But no way in hell was he going to ask Jessi to come back and help him deal with Latnok, no matter how much Foss or Steven begged him too. Jessi was safe where she was for now and he intended to keep her that way for as long as possible.

A/N: Review Review Review.