I'm so sorry I made you guys wait for this chapter for so long! I know I said I'd update right after I got back from Kanakuk about…a month ago, but I ended up going on hiatus with this story for the time being to work on Apocalypse of an Empire. But since I just finished it, I can finally start back on this! :D I wrote quite a bit of chapter 8 while I was at camp, because I already knew exactly what was going to happen, so that might be up soon depending on if I'm busy or not (I have school preparations and cosplay stuff, that's why.). Well, enjoy and R&R!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.

Over the next week, I felt as though Feliciano had become a little too attached to me after we had made that promise to stay together. It seemed almost annoying to me; irritating I should say, as he tried to be with me every second of the day. And…I accepted the fact that I found him irritating…

Of course, I knew he was only trying to be loyal, and stick with me for we had become friends and made a promise over it. But following me from class to class, as I walked home, and pretty much everywhere I went was just too overbearing for me. I needed…space…

Elizabeta sure got a kick out of it, though, as kissing me on both cheeks had become a daily thing for the Italian. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy it or anything the first few times, but doing it every time he saw me was just nearly…embarrassing? Especially when Gilbert caught him in the act, laughing obnoxiously all the way down the hall like he had the first day, and then ranting about it to me later on when we got home.

Not to mention his constant blabbing about that Holy Roman Empire guy. Who was he; why did he seem so familiar to me? It just didn't make any sense at all why I hated this guy so much, and why I actually found myself becoming…jealous?

I think it was time Feliciano and I…"took a break" from each other. I needed to find a way to get away from all this…

I had rushed into English that day, slamming down my books onto my desk and sitting down as quickly as possible. I leaned back just a bit, closing my eyes and placing my hands behind my head.

"Alone at last." I sighed, relaxing as I took in the silence of the room.

I was finally away from him; at peace at last, and I could finally enjoy myself. Trying to get away from the high-maintenance teen wasn't easy, and I made sure to rush to my next class to avoid him. After all, we weren't even in the same English class! That is, until I heard that voice.

"Hi Ludwig!" The voice cried, causing my moment of piece to go straight back to horror.

I gritted my teeth at the sound of that voice; that screeching, high-pitch, Italian voice. It couldn't be him; we weren't even in the same English class together!

Clenching my fists into tight balls, I turned around hesitantly, only to find my eyes falling on a smiling, cheerful Feliciano, who was waving at me and sitting in the seat directly behind me.

And just when I finally get away from him, he's back… I thought coldly, feeling my level of annoyance shoot straight up at the sight of him. It wasn't like I didn't like seeing the bubbly Italian, I had just gotten…tired of it having to be every moment of the day. Like a stalker, almost.

"Feliciano, what are you doing here? You're not in this class." I said between clenched teeth, my eye twitching slightly. Weird, that had never happened before…My eye only twitched like that when I was about to lose it…

The Italian opened his eyes, shining that bubbly smile at me. "Ve~, I switched classes so I could be with you! I asked Mr. Germania yesterday; he didn't seem to mind at all." He said, giggling happily.

I sighed hard, shooting a quick glare at our English teacher sitting at his desk. That man… I thought, remembering what he had told me earlier that week when he had snatched my drawing from me as I was leaving.

I turned back to Feliciano. "Feliciano, why did you even switch classes in the first place? Friends don't always have to be in the same classes." I asked him, trying to make my voice sound more calm than irritated.

His eyes went soft, turning into two gooey piles of dark chocolate, and he gave me a sorry look as if he felt bad or guilty for something. "Ve~, I-I'm sorry, Ludwig. I thought that since were friends and all, you would want me to be in this class with you. I-I can switch back if you want." The Italian told me sadly, giving me those same big, brown puppy dog eyes he'd given me the week before after convincing me to come with him to see the flowers.

I couldn't resist that. No matter how hard I tried to get away from them, or how much been getting on my nerves, I could only give in to those sweet brown orbs. There was something about them I just found so…hypnotizing, and it almost seemed like I had…seen them before. On several occasions, I'd thought of this, especially when he began his happy little rant about his old friend. Then again, I never seemed to get those eyes out of my head.

Waving it off, and telling him it was alright, I felt a light shade of pink make its way onto my pale cheeks as he giggled and went back to working. Mr. Germania had given us the hour to work on our papers, instead of giving us a usual lecture as they were due next week.

My pencil grazed across the blank piece of paper, still unable to write a single word down. I didn't know why, but for some reason I just couldn't think of anything I could possibly write about. That question…it haunted me; what did I love? Being as cold and tough as I was, it was a difficult subject to write about, and I just couldn't think of anything! Either that, or I had thousands of ideas flowing in the back of my mind that just hadn't sprouted yet, and I was just too afraid of what people would say when we read them in front of the class.

Sighing, I'd given up once more, lowering my head as I drew a single line across the paper that would make as a starting point at the tip of Feliciano's hair. That entire week, I'd learned something: when in doubt, just draw the thing you just can never seem to get out of your mind. Unfortunately for me, that just happened to be that crazy Italian.

Several more minutes passed by, and as wary as I was with my drawing, I was actually quite surprised Feliciano hadn't peered over my shoulder to take a look, or Mr. Germania hadn't come over to rat me out. Perfect timing.

As I sketched out his left eye, I suddenly felt a warm puff of hair brush against my neck, and sliver down my spine with a chill. I turned my head slowly, only to find Feliciano leaning over my shoulder with a giddy smile glued to his face.

"What are you drawing, Ludwig?" He asked me, trying to take a peek at the sketch as I immediately scrambled to cover it with my arms.

"Uh, oh, it's nothing, Feliciano. Go back to working on your paper." I whispered, my face burning with embarrassment.

"Ve~, but I'm already done! I finished yesterday when I got home!" He whispered, pulling out all two pages of his written essay. "Mine's all about Holy Rome; what's yours about?"

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth at the sound of that name. I didn't know why, but it was just agonizing to ever listen to him speak about that boy. I knew that name, I'd heard it and recognized it so much, yet I just couldn't figure out where or why I'd heard it before. And it killed me to find out.

"That's at least good, but why do you always write or talk about him all the time? He's gone, isn't he?" I mumbled, involuntarily sounding more irritated than I wanted to. Although I was, I didn't want to hurt his feelings as he was so sensitive, and I defiantly didn't want to show it.

I didn't turn around to look at him, but I could sense an overwhelming amount of sadness flow out from his body, and move around me.

"Because…because I love him. I know it's hard to understand, but I said I'd wait for him to come back…but it's been eight years…" He said quietly.

Although feeling bad for him at that, with it almost impossible to not give in to that pitiful face, I continued to grow even more angry, as that same agonizing thought just wouldn't shut up.

"Well that was a long time ago, Feliciano, and I think it's time you let things go."

With that, he sighed, letting out one last sad "ve" before staying quiet for the rest of the class period.

That day at lunch, I walked to our usual table with Roderich, letting Feliciano get a "head start" in a lame attempt to at least have some peace for the day. Besides, although we got along, Roderich and I hadn't really talked much after knowing each other for a few weeks, since he was normally with Elizabeta and I was normally with Feliciano.

"So, Ludwig, I see you and Feliciano are getting along quite well. He seems very attached to you." He brought up, breaking to awkward silence that surrounded us and pointing to the happy Italian as he ran ahead to the table.

"Yeah, a little too attached…" I mumbled, shifting my eyes away from him and onto my bag of wurst.

Roderich looked over at me. "What do you mean; I thought you two were good friends?"

I sighed, knowing I'd have to explain the situation sooner or later. And if I was going to tell somebody, Roderich would be on the list of people I could trust. "We are, it's just…he's been acting a little too obsessed lately, you know. He clings to me constantly, and I know if I tell him to let me have some peace for five minutes, he'll cry. I've just been…annoyed by him somewhat…"

The teen nodded, letting yet another thick silence set in as neither of us really wanted to speak. "Elizabeta told me everything; about you and Feliciano, and your feelings for him. I'm surprised he hasn't caught on yet; most of us have since it's pretty obvious. You blush every time you see him."

So it is that obvious… I thought to myself as he continued.

"He really cares about you a lot, Ludwig. You're like his best friend, even though you've only known him for a couple of weeks. He just really doesn't want anything to happen to you, after what happened with Holy Rome, and doesn't want to lose another friend."

That name sent a wave of annoyance through my body once more, and I gripped onto the bag tight to prevent from losing control. Why did it anger me so much; it just didn't make sense at all! Most of the reason why I was so angry in the first place was because of Feliciano, and he wasn't even there at the moment! Maybe…maybe it was because he was just another roadblock in the way. So maybe this decision I was debating on really was the right choice…

"Then if that's the case…it's going to be extremely difficult to do what I'm going to do tonight." I mumbled, not even daring to look at the Austrian walk beside me.

Roderich frowned, giving me a look as if he didn't know what I was talking about at all. Yet I knew he had at least some idea. "What do you mean?"

"Feliciano gave me his cell phone number last week, and I'm about to do something I know I'll regret…"

He sighed, doing the same as me and looking forward. "Well Ludwig…that's your decision, not mine. But don't be surprised when you have to face the consequences not long after."

I paced back and forth in my room frantically, clutching onto my sweating forehead with one hand and hold my cellphone in the other, Feliciano's name already pulled up. I stared at it for what seemed like hours, just stared, not even daring to press the call button.

"Do I really want to do this?" I asked myself quietly, finally finding the sense to stop pacing and sit on the side of my bed to rest. "O-Of course I do; why would I not after having to deal with this for the past two weeks? I-I mean I don't want to hurt him but…I don't want things to get even worse. It can't be that hard, can it? Roderich could be over-exaggerating a bit."

I knew just how sensitive Feliciano could be, I just could never fathom or expect how he'd react to this. He was extremely attached to me, and I knew he never wanted to lose me like he did that boy, but…he was also so optimistic and happy-go-lucky? How could someone like that ever be so angry about something like this? Then again, it all went back to his sensitivity.

"Maybe…maybe I don't want to do this. It could really cause a lot of trouble…for both of us. But…maybe it's for the best. Besides, if he has the guts to kiss and hug me in front of everybody…then I have the guts to do this…"

It seemed like perfect timing. Just as I was about to set my phone aside, it suddenly began to vibrate in my hand. I looked at it, a little started by the sudden ringing, yet even more shocked at the name that appeared on the screen. Feliciano Vargas.

It's now or never… I thought, sighing as I hesitantly pressed the talk button and placed the device next to my ear, only to be welcomed by that thick Italian voice.

"Ve~, hi Ludwig! It's me, Feliciano, from school. I just wanted to call you to test if I got your number right! Ok, now that I know, what's up?" He said cheerfully, his voice even more screeching through the phone.

I felt my fist clench into tight balls, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut as sweat dripped down my forehead. "F-Feliciano…"

"Oh, I know! You're probably going to walk your dog; Blackie, right? But, maybe it's a little late for that since it's getting dark out. I can walk Aster with you tomorrow if you-"

"FELICIANO!" I snapped, trying to get his attention back into focus. Now there really was no turning back.

The other end of the line went silent for a moment, and I could almost see those sad brown eyes of his begin to glisten and his lip begin to quiver. "W-What is it Ludwig? What's wrong?" He asked me nervously, knowing something defiantly wasn't right. And he couldn't be any more spot-on.

"Feliciano…you have to stop this! You have to stop or else I'm going to lose my mind!" My eyes flew open, flaming with icy blue, as steam and guilt seemed to practically flow out of my body.

"S-Stop what?" He asked innocently, yet seriously.

"E-Everything! Everything that you've been doing for the past three weeks!"

I heard a soft whimper from the other line, assuming it was his with a sad "ve" following it. "L-Ludwig…what's going on? Why are you asking like this?" Feliciano asked, his voice shaking violently as if he were about to cry. Yet he probably was; he'd never heard me so angry before.

I sighed hard, knowing know I had to do it, and there was no way I could possibly get out of it. "F…Feliciano…I'm sorry, but…what would you say if I suddenly decided that…we really shouldn't be together anymore. You know, like as friends…"

The Italian stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. "Well, that's just silly, Ludwig, because that won't ever happen!" He replied naïvely, instantly letting go of the seriousness he had had before.

"But what if…what if it did happen, and it wasn't a joke…right now…" I said in nearly a whisper, trying to sound as subtle and sincere as possible, yet that wasn't exactly working too well at how angry I was.

"Ve~, w…what are you saying, Ludwig? What's going on; I'm so confused! Just please spit it out!" He cried, almost…aggressively it seemed. Desperate, almost.

I let out one last long sigh before speaking, and knowing even before I said it that it would come back to haunt me. "Feliciano…I'm sorry, but…I just don't know if I can stand this anymore. You, I mean, with your constant hugging and kissing and clinging and not to mention all those stories about Holy Rome. Maybe…I was just thinking that it was probably best if we…kept our distance from each other for a while. What I mean by that is…not really even speaking to each other at all…"

Feliciano let out a horrifying whimper through the phone, and yet as naïve and oblivious as he was, this was one of those things he finally understood. "L-Ludwig…" He started, squeaking with his voice much higher than usual. "Are you saying that…we can't hang out anymore or talk? B-But, then we wouldn't even be considered friends! That's hardly a friendship at all!"

"…Exactly….I-It's hard to explain but…I just need a break from it all, is all…"

The Italian, attempting to find his words, only sounded like a bumbling, horrified mess, which blended in with the soft sobs and saddened "ve's" he had all let out. "No…No please, Ludwig, please don't do this! I-I won't do that stuff anymore; I promise I won't! J-Just please don't leave me; I couldn't bear it without you! You're my best friend!" He pleaded, and knew at that point he was crying.

So maybe Roderich really was right about him… I thought, a strike of pain and guilt hitting me with every sob he let out.

"It…It won't do any good, Feliciano. I'm sorry, but it's for that best. You don't need me; you still have Alfred, Arthur, Elizabeta, Roderich, and Kiku, plus your brother and many others. And I have Gilbert. Besides, I just want some time to myself without you always having to be there, too." Those last words seemed almost harsh. I was so caught up with everything as I continued that I had only just realized that I had completely turned down his offer.

Feliciano stuttered frantically, attempting to find is words as he choked on them with hard sobs. "L-Lud…I…Ludwig, I…But I need you too, Ludwig! I…I-I love you, Ludwig! Please, just please don't do this! I'll do anything, just…I love you, Ludwig!" He screamed, desperately pleading me for me to rethink. That was the most serious I had ever heard him before. Those words...he really meant them. He was being completely serious about all this.

Scarlet bit my pale ears at the sound of those words. I love you. Did that mean…no, no; it couldn't! Those vicious words replayed in my ears like a broken record, yet were hardly even audible as my heart pounded so vigorously in my chest my ears had begun throbbing. I love you…I wanted so desperately to say those words back to him; to scream it out to the world for I knew it was true! But, that was nearly impossible at this point. There was no way to back down know; and I knew the explanation I'd have to give would tear him apart even more.

Yet for the first time in years, I felt a thick lump begin to well up in my throat. I couldn't even remember that last time I had cried it'd been so long ago, yet hearing those agonizing cries escape from is throat almost made me feel his pain as well.

I bit my lip, speaking in a crackling whisper as my words had suddenly become choked as well. "I'm sorry, Feliciano…"

The teen's sobs had seemed to go up an extra octave, turning into shrilling cries that rang through my ear drums. So he really did love me that much, huh…?

"LUDWIG, PLEASE!"

At that point, I had almost begun to rethink myself. Just hearing him so shattered and helpless…it made me feel almost cruel.

Before the Italian could go into more pleads, I could no longer bear those sobs any longer. Hesitantly, I cut off the line, ending the call to prevent from losing control. Yet even doing so, it did nothing but only make things worse.

Breathing heavily in rage, I scowled as I tightened my grip on the device in my hand, baring my teeth at the picture of the two of I'd saved (Acutally, he was the one who had saved it when he took my phone for a second while I wasn't looking the week before.) as his profile picture. Feliciano had his arms wrapped around me, beaming happily as he held up his had to make a peace sign, while I only stood there awkwardly with a lopsided smile and pink painted across my cheeks. He seemed so…happy and oblivious back then. Even I seemed the slightest bit happy, yet I knew that smile was only a mere, fake façade. But now...I'd shattered him...

Squeezing the phone even tighter, to the point it had nearly cracked from the strength of my large hands. I whispered his name one last time before I let out an agonizing yell. Standing up in full raging, not even knowing what to do with myself anymore or how to control the beast that had taken over, I chucked the phone against the wall, watching as it shattered into broken pieces of nothingness and fell to the floor with small taps.

I huffed heavily with anger, unable to tame myself and calm down, as I involuntarily slammed my fist against the wall, letting out a howl of pain as I gripped onto my bloody knuckles and fell to my knees. Why was this so hard for me; actually being able to let go? Why was I acting like everything that had happened in the past weeks was crumbling and slowly being erased? Why was I acting like him?

Yet that's when it hit me.

Feliciano had acted so strongly about it, because just like Roderich had said: he didn't want to lose somebody again; especially somebody so dear and close to him like Holy Rome. Yet before that, I hadn't even realized he had felt so strongly about me; not like he had with that old friend of his. I was…I was like Holy Roman Empire to him…and I had absolutely no idea…

I was acting the same…because no matter how much I tried to deny it, I felt the exact same way…And I couldn't help but feel angry and guilty at the fact that I had completely broken him.

I'm acting this way…because it's never easy letting go of somebody you love; no matter how strong I may seem… I thought to myself, clutching onto my throbbing head as sticky crimson dripped from my hand and down my cheek.

Sitting in utter silence, the slightest sound of a creaking door made its way into the room, and I didn't even dare to look at who it was. I already knew all too well.

"Hey, West, is everything alright in hear? I heard screaming and then something slam against the wall." Gilbert asked me, peaking his head through the door.

I snorted, continuing to look down as I felt the rage begin to boil under my skin again. "Get out, Gilbert." I hissed through my teeth, hoping he would follow my order and just leave me be.

Yet apparently that wasn't enough for him, as he walked in boldly and took a good look at my wounded arm. "Whoa, West, what did you do to your arm?" He asked, walking over to observe it closer.

About to lose control again with my fingers digging into the carpet, I stopped him, knowing if he got too close I'd go after him, too. "Get OUT, Gilbert! Do you now know the meaning of those words?" I spat, giving him an icy glare as I shot my head up, baring my teeth at him fiercely.

Gilbert backed away. "Whoa, calm down. I just wanted to see what-"

"GET OUT, GILBERT!" I screamed, actually getting to my feet this time to throw him out. Apparently at that point he had finally gotten the message, and even though he was still superior over me being older, I was still much, much stronger.

With the rage back and steam practically coming out of my ears, I paced the room even more, kicking my closet door recklessly as magma spurted out from me. Only after a few good kicks did the door fling open, and as I could no longer take my anger out on it I only scowled at everything that lay inside. Including that lone green sweatshirt Feliciano had worn around his neck on the first day of school, and had given back to me after lunch.

After a few more seconds of deep glaring as my guilt-ridden rage finally flared down, I watched as an old push-broom suddenly fell from the closet, sending a cloud of dust poofing out from under it. That was odd; when had that gotten there? I never really went through my closet all too much, as I had mostly used it for storing things, but I never remembered putting a push-broom in it.

I walked over warily to observe it, crouching down to my knees to take a closer look. It looked fairly old from what I could tell, with what seemed like pounds of dust collected on it, and it being the size fit for a young child. Looking down, I also noticed a small cardboard box lying next to it, "Ludwig's Memories" scribbled on it in what looked like Gilbert's handwriting.

I set the broom down, picking up the box and opening it cautiously as I didn't know what exactly it held. It seemed pretty light, so there couldn't be too much stuff lying around in it. Yet as I opened it, all I found was a small black hat, a child's at that, and a matching old cloak lying underneath it. What was something like that doing in there? Why would I have a child's hat and clothes lying around in a box in my closet? And according to that box...it was mine...

Picking up the broom once more, I noticed something engraved on the side of it, craved in a young child's handwriting that wasn't even close to Gilbert or mine's. It almost looked like…Feliciano's…

I turned it over, attempting to make out the sloppy scribbles. As I decoded them, my eyes went wide at what I saw, my jaw falling agape with awe.

To: My love, Holy Roman Empire.

From: Feliciano Vargas.

Take care, and please come back. I'll be waiting.

"T-This has to be a mistake. There's no possible way this can be mine! B-Besides, there could be another Feliciano Vargas in the world! I-It's just a coincidence!" I stuttered, trying to process everything I had just found and saw through my mind.

Yet that's when everything finally started to make sense, and the memories all started to flow back into my mind. It was so clear now; everything started to fit! Everything Feliciano said about that boy…I remembered now. Everything that had seemed so familiar I knew because he had said them to me when I was seven years old. A-And that push-broom…It was a gift from him at our final farewell. That Italian girl I was so in love with…was Feliciano.

With it all coming back to me, and everything finally starting to fill it, it had only just occurred to me that I was being jealous and angry because of myself. I recognized that name so much…because it was my name. I was Feliciano's lost love…Holy Roman Empire…

…You people have no freaking how hard it was to make Italy not turn into me…Yeah, this whole scene is actually really similar to something that happened to me last year, so it was extremely hard to write without making Italy turn into myself. But…I finally got off my lazy writer's block butt and finished this freaking chapter! Yes, I was on writer's block with this story, that's why I didn't update for so long. And I REALLY hope it won't happen again!

Apparently I'm still used to writing Apocalypse of an Empire, because this chapter is freakishly longer than the others, and I'm paranoid that it wasn't good. But, I think it turned out pretty ok! And I'm sorry if I made Germany sound like a jerk…I seriously had no intention of doing that. XD I told you there was angst…

I promise the next chapter will not be nearly as angsty or confusing. I have about half of it already written, I just need to re-edit it and finish typing it up. Until then, review, and enjoy the rest of the freaking hot summer. Hopefully be back soon! :D