Ok, because I'm lazy and don't feel like doing my algebra homework right now, I'm writing this! :D Yeah...so I had no freaking clue how I was going to write this chapter, so there's a little jumping around from scene to scene instead of one solid setting, just saying. But at least it's not the last chapter yet~. :) Enjoy and R&R!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.
That day at school as the weekend passed and Monday came, for the first time since I had first set foot in Hetalia High School, I was nervous. Timid, I must say, as I walked through it shamefully with Feliciano's sad, frightened face glued to the back of my mind.
I hurt him; From this day forward he hated me until the end, and I just couldn't stand that thought as I had realized I was still very much in love with the Italian. No matter what, I couldn't help myself; it was involuntary, ans he just didn't understand that even after I had explained it to him last Friday night. Yet why did I have to be so…straightforward with my actions?
My cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment as I walked through the hall with a typical, apathetic expression on my face, trying to façade the rising shame that began to bubble under my skin. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to erase the kiss Feliciano and I had shared from my head.
It was like a broken record; a forbidden, haunting one at that, and it was mentally driving me to the point where I was about to go insane. His lips…so soft and smooth, had finally, finally, grazed across mine; hesitant, yet something that had let sparks fly in all directions and a major checkpoint left in my past. His touch still lay on my lips, and as I pressed my fingers gently onto them, it felt as if everything was happening all over again.
Facepalming, I attempted to get him out of my mind, his words and features spinning around like an insane cyclone, and I banged my head against one my books to erase all thoughts of the petite teen.
"Gah, why can't I just forget about him; why can't I just move on already?" I hissed, slamming the hard cover against my forehead, yet still having no luck in getting the Italian from being glued into the back of my mind.
"Because you love him."
A wave of sudden jolt and scare ran through my body at the sound of that voice, and I spun around only to see a rather pitied Gilbert standing in front of me, his arms resting behind his back with crimson eyes averted to the floor, and Gilbird perched on his shoulder.
What the hell was up with him today?
"G-Gilbert-!" I managed to stutter out, embarrassed as he had heard everything I had just said, and there was no way of taking it back or getting out of it now. Yet before I could finish, he cut me off.
"I know about what happened Friday night, West; I could hear you crying in your room last night. I know about Feliciano leaving you…and how much you really loved him. It was that kiss that scared him off, wasn't it?"
Pink turned scarlet as I stared back at him, my mouth agape in awe that he had actually known that much. "H-How did you…-"
"You're not very good at covering things up, now are you, West? First of all, you told me you loved him. Second...Dude, honestly, it's not like I don't see things from outside my window." At that last sentence he smirked, satisfied with my dismay at my secret being blown, and my shame-ridden face glowing even more red.
I averted my eyes to the ground, letting the blush take over as there was nothing to hide it with my blonde bangs gelled back as they usually were. "What's your point, Gilbert?"
"My point is that you just have to tell him how much you miss him; tell him how you really feel! If you keep going around moping like this, that little Italian is going to hate you forever!" He exclaimed, looking at me now as he waved his hands frantically and his voice grew high.
I continued to look down, sighing and crossing my arms at his idea. "I already told him, Gilbert; he already knows that I love him. I tried to convince him otherwise not to be afraid…but he just wouldn't listen to me when I told him I'm Holy Roman Empire…"
My brother gripped onto my shoulders, tossing me back and forth wildly as I spoke. "You have to prove to him you're that dude, West! He won't believe you if you just tell him! And kissing him isn't going to help either!" He cried, shaking me violently as he tried to get my full attention.
People were staring now, and as the awkward tension began to rise, I pushed him away as he continued. "I've been in this situation before; I know how to deal with these types of things! All you have to do is tell your true feelings to that person!" Gilbert paused for a moment, uneasily standing there as a hint of faint pink crept onto his cheeks. "For instance…let's just say I ask Elizabeta out, not knowing she had a boyfriend. I had to prove to her my true feelings; and I did it! Of course, though, that left me with a bruise from a frying pan on the back of my head…" He admitted, rubbing the back of his head as he shifting his eyes to the ground.
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Wait…you have a crush on Elizabeta? My friend Elizabeta?"
"That not what I'm saying, West! All you have to do is just admit your absolute true feelings to somebody by proving it to them! One crappy kiss isn't going to do anything; you have to go deeper! It's the only way it'll work!" He screeched, breathing heavily as he finished from lack of oxygen, with the tint of purple on his face covering up the blush. Was it…normal, for Gilbert to be acting this strange?
"Wow, Gilbert, I've never seen you this…frantic, before. But…I don't want to hurt Feliciano any more than I already have. Even if I do that, he still won't listen. Either that, or Lovino with attack me…" I told him with a sigh, walking away slowly.
Apparently, though, the albino wasn't giving up just yet. "West, wait!"
I turned back around to face him, watching as he stopped me and began to calm down slightly. "Ja?"
"You…won't tell Elizabeta about this, will you?" He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with irritation as stubborn pink tinged the tip of his nose and ears.
I nodded. "No, I won't tell her. I don't even think she'll want to talk to me today after what happened last night…" As I continued to walk away, I realized there was one last thing I had to say to my brother. "And Gilbert…"
"Yeah, what is it?"
I paused, letting out a long sigh as I gathered my words, and spoke. "I'm…sorry for what I did two nights ago. I didn't mean to go ballistic."
Gilbert smirked, giving me a thumbs up. "All's good, West! Now go get that little…ex-boyfriend of yours!" He beamed, trotting off in the opposite direction as Gilbird circled around his head.
With a sigh of relief escaping from my mouth, I continued walking to my first class. Yet as I walked, I couldn't help but think of the uneasiness Gilbert had when he had forgiven me…
"You have to prove to him you're that dude, West! He won't believe you if you just tell him! And kissing him isn't going to help either!"
Those words ran through my mind repetitively, and I couldn't help but wonder exactly how I was going to prove to Feliciano that I meant what I said. Obviously, according to Gilbert, "physical contact of the lips" wasn't exactly going to help my case, and I needed to go even "deeper". Yet what did he mean by going "deeper"?
Health case was as uncomfortable as ever as the awkward tension between the Italian and I lay thick hanging in the air, and I had to control myself from looking back at those sad brown eyes. Other people could sense this tension as well, and I could sense it from the small glances people had given to me and the soft whispers of rumors being spread around. Information got around the school quickly, didn't it?
Yet the strongest tension of all came direction from Lovino's chair, as I watched as he glared at me with fiery daggers the burned into the back of my skull. Judging by the way he was doing this, and the fact that it was much stronger than any of the scowls he had given me before, I assumed Feliciano had told him.
"Hey, potato bastard, I've got a something I want to say to you after class." He hissed quietly as Mr. Rome wrote our notes on the board, aloof to our conversation going on in the back of the room.
I did the same, glaring at him with our eyes locked onto each other's in a burning inferno. "Yeah, and what is it?"
"I know what you did you Feliciano after school on Friday, and you're about to get jacked up even more once I'm finished with you."
For once, his threat actually intimidated me, despite having a good amount of strength and superiority over him. This time, he was mad, and there was no escaping the dark rage surrounding the furious Italian. When Lovino was mad, he was mad.
Trying to seem only apathetic, I continued to scowl at him, ignoring the notes we had to take as his battle went on for the rest of the hour's passing.
As the bell rang and everybody fled to go to their next class, it was only Lovino and I who had stayed, continuing to shoot daggers at each other as we walked out of the room and out of sight from Mr. Rome. Lovino was the man's grandson, and if he ever upset him by picking a fight, there would never be an end to the conflict that would rise.
"Alright bastard, listen up. You hurt my brother, and I hurt you back. YOU HEAR ME?" With that, he threw a punch, socking me in the left cheek as I was caught off guard by his actions, and I stumbled back a little.
With rage boiling up below my body, my icy eyes went toxic, and I slammed with fist into his mouth as I grabbed hold of his neck and shook him around like a ragdoll, just as Gilbert had down to me before.
"I never meant to hurt him; you don't understand that! I love your brother, I'd never hurt him!" I spat, flinging him around as he began choking me as well.
"I TOLD YOU TO SAY AWAY FROM HIM, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU SHATTER HIM! HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU, POTATO FREAK! NOW FACE THE CONSEQUENCES, DAMMIT!"
"STOP IT!"
At the sound of that cry and the sudden fighting gone with silence setting in, both Lovino and I turned in unison only to find our eyes resting on a frightened Feliciano. "Stop fighting; please! One of you will get hurt! Now let go of Ludwig, fratello!"
My mouth cracked open slightly at the shock of him actually trying to help me, and the elder of the two brothers reluctantly released his grip on my neck, and I did the same to him. The bitter taste of blood began pouring into my mouth as I let out a hoarse cough, and sticky crimson seeped out from the cut on my cheek and trickled down it.
"What are you doing here, Feliciano?" Lovino asked sternly, taking a step towards his brother.
Feliciano looked as if he were shaking, yet he continued to stand his ground, despite having that intimidated look in his eyes that I knew so well. "Please…just leave him alone, fratello. Go to your next class; you'll get in trouble…"
The older Italian huffed, giving his brother a small shove as he stomped down the hall, muttering and cursing under his breath as he flipped us both the bird, and disappeared down the hall.
As I gathered up the rest of my belongings that had fallen when I had shot my first punch at Lovino, I hesitantly walked towards Feliciano, feeling my stomach beginning to churn with nervousness as Gilbert's words came flooding back into my mind again.
"You have to prove to him you're that dude, West! He won't believe you if you just tell him! And kissing him isn't going to help either!"
"Feliciano…" Before I could finish though, the teen squeaked, retreating off into the opposite direction to avoid speaking to me, and I could only sigh at his fear. "Thank you…"
That day at lunch, I found myself sitting alone as I occasionally shot several glances at the table holding all of my friends, which included Feliciano, who obviously didn't want to be associated with me. I had placed a small bandage on my cheek to cover up the wound, yet every once in a while I'd feel it throbbing against my head in pain. Gilbert had been keeping his distance from his table as well, with Lovino sitting there with the two other boys, and he had eventually migrated from there over to me.
Neither of us spoke, only focused on eating and thinking, and as I gazed up again at the petite Italian's sorrowful eyes and face, my brother spoke up. "Still haven't done it, have you?"
Turning to him, I shook my head. "I haven't gotten the chance to yet. Lovino and I got into a fight after first period, and he came and helped stop it. When I tried to talk to him, he just…ran off…"
"I heard; that's why Lovino is banning me from going over there anymore. Don't worry, West, you'll find the right time to say it. And when you do, everything will go back to normal and he'll be your little boyfriend again; works every time!"
I smacked him on the arm, causing him to curse quietly, and I scowled at him as he rubbed his arm. "We weren't a couple in the first place, Gilbert, you know that. It's not going to work, you know." I told him with a sigh, turning my gaze back on Feliciano, who was now talking to a rather dumbstruck Alfred.
"Sure it will; Feliciano's naïve, he'll do anything you tell him to if you bribe him!" Gilbert beamed.
"You're naïve, Gilbert, and I'm not going to use him like that. That's the last thing I want to do if I…want to get us back together…"
"Ah, so you were both dating!"
That comment earned him another hit to the arm, and he scowled and me and pouted away. I shouldn't have been listening to him, anyway; despite him being older, Gilbert was defiantly not the wiser of us two…
As our lunch time passed and I found myself with an unusually full belly of sausage, as I never had time eat my lunch before with Feliciano constantly talking to me, I looked up only to find my old lunch group standing in front of me with confusion and anger hidden in each of their eyes. Everyone, except for the Italian, who had slinked away off to his next class. I was surprised he was doing so feel with avoiding me.
After a few moments of awkward silence with their eyes averted and only a few locked on mine, it was Alfred who spoke up. Yet instead of that normally, cheerful tone he had in his voice, this time it sounded much darker with irritation. "What the hell is wrong with you, Ludwig? You just upright abandon Feli like that? Dude, totally not cool! I'm the hero, I should know!" He snarled, with Arthur smacking my on the back of his head with him hissing at the American to hush.
"What he means, Ludwig, is why did you do that to Feliciano? I mean, we know he can get a little annoying at times but…why? He…told us everything, you know…" Arthur said, his voice much more mellow and calm than his friend's, with his arms crossed.
All eyes were on me, including Kiku who looked rather pitied for me, and I could only sigh as there was no way to get out of it. Feliciano wasn't the least bit hesitant when he was tell something, and apparently this time, he was a straightforward as ever towards the group.
"I…I don't know. I just…Something came over me; I don't know quite what it was, but it was just the last straw…I couldn't take it anymore! I-It's kind of difficult to explain, but…I guess I just got fed up with his constant ranting about Holy Rome…" I told them shamefully.
"So you have to lie to him and totally crush him like that? Bro; dude, that's not right!"
"Alfred, just shut the bloody hell up and let him finish!" Arthur cried angrily, shooting a dark look at the teen standing next to him he whacked him up-side the head once more.
With that, I nodded as if to say thanks to him, and continued. "I…I just can't explain it. I didn't want to hurt him at all; I honestly didn't! I'm just so sorry I did…I didn't want to, but…I guess my rage took over. It's difficult for any of you to understand right now, but you know that feeling you get where you love someone so much you hate them? That's what I felt…" I confessed, shifting my eyes to the ground to avoid the glare the American was giving me.
As awkward silence set in, and nobody even dared to speak, it was Elizabeta who quietly spoke up. "Hey guys, I'm going to talk to Ludwig for a little bit. I know more than you guys do. Just head back up to the school; I'll handle this." She said, making her way through the crowd.
"Why, to tell him what a dumbass he is?"
"Alright, that's it; Kiku, you're handling Alfred from now on!" The Briton spat, stomping away in irritation as the soft-spoken Japanese teen timidly tried to reason with an even angrier Alfred, who followed Arthur's lead.
Roderich was the only one who had stayed now, and he gently tried to talk to his girlfriend. "Elizabeta…you're sure you-"
"It's ok, Roderich; I need to talk to him alone. I know more about this than any of you guys do; much more than what Feliciano told us, and I think It's only best that I do this alone so that there's no more conflict, ok?" She said sweetly, cutting him off and giving him a sincere smile before leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek for forgiveness.
With a hesitant sigh, the Austrian nodded, walking away slowly towards the building as he left his girlfriend and me to talk.
Elizabeta took a seat next to me, drumming her fingers awkwardly on the table as she gathered her words, and I continued to look to the ground.
"He…told us, everything, Ludwig. About what you said last night, about you trying to convince him you were Holy Roman Empire, and about your kiss. That much, huh?" She said, and I could see from the corner of my eye the stubborn smile tugging at her lips when she had mentioned our kiss.
I sighed, never daring to look her in the eye. "There aren't enough words in the world to describe it, Elizabeta. I've never had much experience with romance, and now…gah, I just feel so stupid! I loved him; so much, but now he thinks I'm a liar and an inconsiderate bastard. Gilbert has tried helping me, but…well, you know how he is…" I admitted, my cheeks cranking up a deeper shade of pink with every sentence that had passed.
The girl nodded in understanding, letting a minute of silence pass before finally speaking again. "It…wasn't a lie, was it…?"
And I knew exactly what she meant by that as I shook my head. "No; I really am the Holy Roman Empire. And I have proof of it too; even my brother says it's true! Feliciano's just…he's in so much denial that he won't even try to accept it. Once things cool down between us, then I'll try to reason with him again."
More silence.
"…It's the eyes that make you love him so much, isn't it?" Elizabeta mentioned, a smirk crossing her face as she averted her eyes as well.
This time, I turned to her, a faint shade of scarlet already stained onto my face at her words. "What?"
"I've seen you eyeing them, Ludwig. Not just Feliciano, but his eyes mostly. Roderich can see it, too. I've asked Feliciano what he thinks of you and…well, heh, he told me you have the prettiest eyes he's ever seen." With a look of sympathy and a smile, she turned to me, and for once I saw the slightest glimmer of hope shine down on me as if God were giving me a second chance.
"R-Really?"
The Hungarian nodded, satisfied blush spreading across her cheeks. "Yep. Of course, this was a while ago, but I've talk to him today also, and he's pretty bummed about you. He said hasn't been able to get your guy's kiss out of his head. He misses you a lot, Ludwig; I can tell."
At that, I felt the slightest smile begin to creep onto my face, fiddling happily with the leaves that had floated down from the trees and landed onto the table. "I'm glad I'm not the only one…But, how do I know you're not just making all of this stuff up?
Elizabeta chuckled lightly. "Honestly, Ludwig, I'm not like your brother; I wouldn't tell a lie to my friend just to satisfy them. Besides, when it come to you two together, do you seriously think I would lie about that?"
I chuckled along with her, giving her a rare smile as I realized she was right. Elizabeta was trust-worthy; not somebody who would use you just to satisfy herself. And for the first time, I finally felt a wave of comfort and trust wash over me, and I knew my secret was going to stay safe for a little while longer.
"Thank you, Elizabeta; you're work here has been helpful." I praised.
She giggled at this, waving it off as her rested her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. "It's no problem at all; seriously! But~…I gotta know…what was your kiss like? Was it awesome; was it terrible? Dammit, I left my notebook inside my locker! Oh well, I'll write it down out of memory!"
Yep…now she's back…
"I…think that's going a little too personal, Elizabeta…" I told her, awkward trying to avoid describing any kind of feeling I had during the kiss. After all, it was nearly indescribable.
"Oops, sorry, I guess I got a little carried away. But you two are just so CUTE I can't stand it!" She squealed, hopping lightly and happily to herself as she gushed over Feliciano and my..."relationship".
Yet during it all, it was Gilbert who came in to break the uneasy tension that surrounded me.
"Hey Elizabeta, what are you doing here?" He asked her, standing next to me.
Elizabeta turned to him, her celebration suddenly getting cut off as she reached for the mini frying pan hidden in her back pocket. "Gilbert, if you're just going to hit on me again, I'm going to smack you. And you don't want that to happen in front of your little brother, do you~?" She threatened, bracing for action as Gilbert waved his hands in front of his face.
"No no, I wasn't going to do that, I just…wanted to say that you so nice today, heh heh." He said, a grin and faint blush finding its way onto his face as he had obviously only did this to impress her.
The Hungarian didn't seem too excited, as she tapped her foot against the gound before pulling out the pan and smashing it against my brother's head as he stumbled to the ground.
"Like I've said before, Gilbert, I already have a boyfriend, so your flirting isn't going to do much to convince me to leave him for you." She said with a apathetic scowl marked onto her face. With that, she immediately turned bubbly again, giggling as she walked away to find Roderich.
I found myself snickering as Gilbert lay on the ground groaning and rubbing the back of his head in pain, and seeing this, he shot a dark glare up at me in anger.
"Word of the wise, West; stick with the guys…"
At that, he fell back down was an over-exaggerated groan as I continued to chuckle at him.
The grandfather clock sitting in our dining room that night was only making it more difficult for me to concentrate as I continued that never-ending battle to finish my essay for English. Our papers weren't due until Thursday, and even though it was only Monday, I wasn't going to take my chances procrastinating until the last minute and ending up without a topic still.
As my pencil grazed over the paper, just anticipating the long wait it had to finally write just one word onto that sheet of paper, I replayed everything Gilbert had told me that day in my mind once more.
"My point is that you just have to tell him how much you miss him; tell him how you really feel! If you keep going around moping like this, that little Italian is going to hate you forever!",
"You have to prove to him you're that dude, West! He won't believe you if you just tell him! And kissing him isn't going to help either!"
"All you have to do is just admit your absolute true feelings to somebody by proving it to them! One crappy kiss isn't going to do anything; you have to go deeper! It's the only way it'll work!"
Just then, as everything that had flowed through my mind began to connect, every word Gilbert had said finally began to make sense. He may not have been the smartest tack in the box on a regular basis, but right now, this was the greatest advice he could have ever given me.
I knew what I was going to write my paper about.
ONE. CHAPTER. LEFT. Gah, I'm going to miss writing this so much~! D: But, it's the same situation with 'Apocalypse of an Empire'; I'm sad because I've had so much fun, and happy because now I get to focus more on my other stories and my new ones soon to come.
Anyway, I'm very pleased with how this chapter turned out, because since I virtually had none of it planned out, it turned out to be a good little improv! ...Plus Prussia is EXTREMELY fun to write...XD Also, this was probably the fastest chapter I've gotten out so far I think, because I literally started it late last night, and finished it today. ...TIME. WELL. SPENT! :D
Thanks so much for the reviews so far, and I hope to get out the last chapter soon! I don't know, though~, maybe I won't just to torture you all for reviews~. (I kid, I'll get it out soon. But seriously...reviews are my inspiration to write and finish the chapters~. :))