So, if we all know Sasuke's crazy...

But Sasuke doesn't know himself…

Dramatic Irony?

[I don't like how literary devices treat me…]

Suigetsu plopped into his chair.

"She should get this annul—"

"Don't speak common sense around her," Sasuke rebuked.

"She's dumb—"

"Shut up." She wasn't dumb — just a little slow!

"Did you two have sex yet?" he asked.

Then a light bulb turned on.

Sasuke quickly turned to him. "You're not useless after all."

And after that conversation, he came up with this ingenious plan!

Hinata smiled airily at the aroma filtering throughout the house. It was magnificent!

Sasuke contained a smile as he took the freshly baked cheesecake out of the oven. Hinata's eyes widened.

"Sasuke," she said surprised. "You...can cook?"

Then why was he always making her cook?

He cut out a slice, put it on a plate, and took a seat across from her at the table. She smiled and got up to get herself some!

"Stop," he said. She blinked confoundedly at him and he glared. "That's not for you."

Oh no he didn't! She was speechless. "But...I...please?"

"No," he said harshly. "Sit down."

With quivering lips, she complied and stared at him like a starving puppy in the rain.

He raised a brow. "Do you want some?" he asked and tauntingly pushed the plate and fork towards her.

She nodded happily with a big smile and went to grab for the delicious dessert but he snatched it away.

He smirked. "Have sex with me."

"NO!" she screamed and backed up. He scowled at her.

"Then kiss me." And she even hesitated on that. He glared and said, "I'm not disgusting."

On the contrary, he was to her.

Hinata sighed and gave in. this better be a damn good cheesecake!

She quickly reached over the tabletop and pecked him on the cheek.

Very disappointed — and very pissed. "That's not a kiss," he growled.

"Y-yes it was!"

She smiled coyly.

He glared.

Then the cheesecake and plate hit the ground like Humpty Dumpty.

Needless to say, she wept.

"But!" she cried. "You said—"

"If you kissed me."

"I-I did."

He shook his head and started to clean up the mess on the floor. Hinata stared at him with watering eyes as he threw the glassed food in the trash. He folded his arms and stared back.

"Do you want a piece or not?" he asked maliciously.

She pouted and nodded slowly.

He cut another piece and placed it in the middle of the table. "There."

What? No forcefulness? "O-okay..."

She picked up the fork she was given, swooped some dessert with it, and flew it into her mouth like an airplane. Hinata closed her eyes and smiled at the delicious taste that exploded against her taste buds and fed her desire for the scrumptious cheesecake. It was pumpkin flavored and amazing! She couldn't believe he made this!

She nodded lazily. "Sasuke, this is...good."

He pinched his lips when she suddenly dropped her fork and began to rock back and forth gradually.

Hinata watched him move behind her. She was too tired to turn her head. "Sasuke, what are you..."

An evil smirk appeared on his face when she fell into his arms. Victory was his!

"I'm...dizzy," she mumbled with her eyes shut.

"Go to sleep," he said. He brought her to her feet, carrying her down the hall and into the bedroom.

Hinata started to breathe heavily when she felt herself being thrown onto the bed. Sasuke smirked.

"But I'm not tired," she muffled.

He stopped removing his shirt with huge eyes. Why was she still talking!

"Go—"

She tried to left herself off the bed with her feeble arms and managed to do so. Sasuke became a ghost at the sight of her sitting up. She was still swaying, but still sitting up! Damn it! What was happening? He put enough sedatives in that pie to knock her out for hours!

"Hinata," he called lowly.

Her eyes were half-lidded. "Y…yes?"

Sasuke pulled at his hair and sat down beside her with a major headache. Well, that was pointless! He risked his medical license for this nonprofit scheme? Shameful! He sat up straight and felt her head fall on his shoulder. He inwardly freaked as he looked at her and she frowned with a blush.

"I'm sorry," she said. "My...head hurts."

He gulped and nodded. As they stared at each other, Hinata felt her head become more clouded by the moment. She was burning up and he felt so cool. He was like a human icepack and she was grateful. Hinata furrowed her brow when his lowered eyes stayed fixated on her as he moved in closer. Were they having a moment and she didn't know it? Sasuke stopped at her confused facial expression and gulped again. He was okay and he had to remember that. She wouldn't reject him — no way! Her eyes closed and he watched her lips move as she said his name.

"Sasuke..."

He was going to kiss her and she felt it — and way too out of it to think it over.

His eyes closed and he shakily moved in closer. She was beautiful.

Too beautiful.

Hinata caught herself when her support disappeared. Her tired eyes widened at a comatose Sasuke on the floor.

Maybe she should call an ambulance.

x-x-x

Sasuke would never forget how horrible Hinata was to him in high school!

She was mean for a quiet girl.

In eleventh grade there was a stupid field trip going on. Hinata never went on field trips. Why would she! She didn't have friends, and that wouldn't be fun at all. However, this trip was special. Their class was going to a resort for a weekend. It wasn't expensive and it was the best time for a getaway!

But friends were still required if she wanted to have fun — so she didn't go.

And she was the only one. Well, her and Sasuke. He didn't go because he knew she wouldn't. The school sent all of the losers—students who didn't go to the library for study hall all day long. So, there was Hinata all by herself, head resting on her arms as she drifted to dreamland and away from the harsh reality — then she jumped up from her sleep when books were slammed on the desk.

"You're not supposed to be sleeping."

Hinata immediately knew who it was and said, "Oh. I-I'm sorry."

Sasuke scoffed and sat across from her. He placed his books onto the table and opened the novel on top of the stack as if he was reading. He was pretending, it was extremely quiet, and Hinata was trying her hardest not to stare at him but she couldn't help it. She asked herself the same question she thought of everyday: he was so cute, why does he have to be so mean? He caught her staring too long and smirk, which made her look down with red cheeks. Oh crap — was that an extra week of abuse?

"Last week..."

Her eyes instantly moved to him and saw his serious face.

"I didn't mean to grab you that hard."

Was he apologizing? Was this the apocalypse!

She couldn't believe it. He was actually apologizing for one of the MANY cruel things he had brought upon her? This was far-fetched! Hinata would never understand how bad he felt for what he did to her last week. To her, it was just another swoop of tribulations he had given her; to him — he actually felt bad. Like, with feelings. He'd admit it got kind of out of hand, but it was funny! Sasuke was just trailing her in the hallway and complaining about her slow ass!

"You're moving too slow," he said and again stepped on her heel.

She tripped mildly and sped up saying, "I'm sorry!"

Again, he and his friends sped up with her.

"Walk faster," he said sharply.

They all laughed as she tried to move faster than them. Sasuke smirked and finally grabbed her arm. Hinata couldn't believe he was basically picking her up off the ground to carry her to homeroom. She looked at him with expansive eyes and he glared as he smirked spitefully.

"You're taking too long."

His entire clique couldn't help but hype up the entire drag to the classroom. She was scared for her life and he couldn't be any happier with touching her! When they reached the room, Sasuke squeezed her arm harder since he felt her trying to get away from him and all he heard was a low "ow." His ears perked and he chucked her into the room right away. All the boys laughed and Sasuke glared at the stumbling girl.

"I did you a favor," he said. "You would have been late."

She rubbed her arm and whispered, "T-thank you..."

He was evil to her!

"What are you doing?" he asked.

And now he was talking to her like a normal person.

"It's...homework." A simper showed on her face.

He nodded and flipped a page.

"Do you like ice cream?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"What flavor?"

"Um, chocolate...oh, um, do you like—"

"No," he interrupted. "I'll buy you some after school."

"O-oh, okay..."

Sasuke moved his lips together. He wanted to smile seeing her smiling back at him with that timid look in her eyes. This was going perfect!

He reached over the table and grabbed her arm to pull her closer to his face.

"Do you want to kiss me?" he asked smugly.

Her eyes grew big at that question and his rosy cheeks. He was smirking as always. Was he joking? He closed his eyes and moved in closer to her face as if he was going in for the kiss. She couldn't believe this! He had to be teasing her. Of course he was! As soon as their lips touched, Hinata turned away — missing how his eyes shot open with a disgusted expression. His fury caused him to push her away, which almost made her fall out of her chair. She gave him a surprised look. He was folding his arms and looking in the opposite direction of her. He scoffed.

"You're out of my league," he said.

Whoa, harsh! She knew he was just teasing her.

Then, suddenly, he tore out of the library, leaving his books behind.

That following Monday, she tried to return them. MISTAKE!

"Sasuke," she called, "here are your—"

Sasuke snatched the books out of her hand and pushed her to the ground before marching off in a fit. Kiba and Naruto followed.

Kiba frowned. "It didn't go well, huh?"

Silence and a mean face answered his question.

Naruto looked confused. "What didn't go well?"

Kiba growled and yelled, "Shut up, Naruto!"

The blonde bared his teeth and trailed behind the two new BBFs. He was supposed to be Sasuke's best friend!

The torture for her in the next few weeks were worst than usual.

Even remembering that, she was by his side now.

But only for confession!

"Sasuke."

"Sasuke..."

Hinata bit her lip. "Sasuke, are you okay?"

"Please, be okay."

He smiled to himself in his sleep. She loved him!

"Sasuke..."

Yes!

"Did you...drug me?"

His eyes slowly opened and he turned to his side. Hinata puffed out her cheeks and squinted her eyes at him ignoring her blatantly. That asshole — he did! And he wouldn't man up and confess either! What a tool! She hoped he was just fine so she could kick his ass!

Sasuke realized he was in his hospital and sat up.

"What are we doing here?" he asked her. She furrowed her brow.

"Did you drug—"

"Don't ignore me," he said terribly offended.

She sighed. "You...you passed out."

Oh no. and he knew why!

"The doctor said you had a—"

He snatched the clipboard off the front of his bed and started sweating when he saw the words, "Severe Panic Attack."

Hinata cocked an eyebrow when he looked at her with beady eyes — and when the computer monitoring his heart rate went on the fritz. She didn't even notice he was staring at her lips. His eyes narrowed with undivided attention and...AND!

Well, he passed out again. HOWEVER! He didn't care that she wouldn't kiss him. He was going to make her want to kiss him.

He was going to make her love him.

Her eyes broadened. "Sasuke—"

He clamped his nose to stop the bleeding. "Call a nurse."

x-x-x

"Hinata..." He started checking his fingernails. "I can't help you."

"But—"

"No."

"How come—"

"No."

"What if—"

"I already said no."

She gave him an evil look.

"I want a new lawyer."

Madara shrugged and simply said, "No."

Hinata let her eyes land on his stupid nameplate and cringed at her new last name behind this awful lawyer's first one. This was ridiculous! She couldn't get away from him when she was at home or not at home! She tried to get a decent lawyer for a divorce settlement but he was supposedly the only one available. Sasuke must have had everyone in his pocket without charge! Was that even possible?

"I...I want a divorce!" she cried.

"No," he said again. "I don't like repeating myself. Stop asking the question."

She sighed aggregately as the door to his office opened.

Madara smiled slyly. "Sasuke."

He glared at his creepy relative and grabbed Hinata's hand. "Let's go."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he dragged his distraught wife out of the courthouse. He hated his much older cousin but he was the only contact he had with the law. Well, besides his father but he was a judge. He suavely put on his aviators to block out the sun and grabbed her hand as they walked towards near clothing outlets.

"Did he help you?" Sasuke asked.

"W-what?"

"Madara." He glared at her. "Did you discuss the patent you wanted?"

"Oh!" She nodded frequently. "Y-yes. He did."

He scoffed and shook his head. At least she tried to lie.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

Sasuke ignored her and walked into the store that was obviously geared towards young, fashionable woman. Enough to say, "I'm cute and sophisticated," but nothing saying, "I'm single and want to party hard!" Hinata smiled at all the clothes. Was he taking her shopping — and there was a fire sale!

"Hurry," he said and sat in the nearby chair. "You have fifteen minutes."

"But...but I don't have any—"

"I'm paying."

"Oh, no, Sasuke. That's okay." She smiled. "But thank you—"

"This is your last outfit," he said abruptly.

"What?"

"You're on your seventh outfit; you don't have anymore clothes."

Then she realized: she's been married to him for a week.

Why!

"Thirteen," he said looking at his watch.

She frowned and started looking through racks.

"Hello," the sales associate greeted. "Need any help?"

"Oh! I'm fine—Ino?"

Ino's eyes became humungous. "Hinata?" She smiled wider. "Hinata!"

She smiled sofly. "Hi."

"Oh, how have you been?"

The smile went from being genuine to being sour. "Fine."

"You're down to seven minutes."

Ino's eyes widened with fear when she saw Sasuke.

"I wasn't talking to her!" she exclaimed.

Sasuke glared as the blonde ran off with her tail between her legs. Hinata frowned and he smirked at her. It was like high school! Back then (and even now), Sasuke was so obsessed with making Hinata's life a living hell that he wouldn't let boys or girls talk to her. He had his own reasons of course; he feared that if he let girls talk to her then she might start liking them, and what was he supposed to do then! So, the easiest solution was simple: frighten everyone who tried to talk to her.

And it still worked!

"Are you finished?" he asked annoyed.

"Sasuke..." Hinata put the clothes on the counter. "These clothes are very expensive..."

Ino began ringing them up. "Would you like to sign up for—"

"No," he barked. He looked back at his wife. "Where else would you go?"

"A department store—"

"You're making me sick." He scowled.

How insulting! All the clothes he threw away were from a department store!

He handed Ino his black credit card. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. "No—"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Sasuke, I'm not hungry." Idiot!

Then he stared at her blankly and she sighed. "It doesn't matter..."

Ino handed Hinata the credit card and receipt. She said, "There's this nice restaurant down—"

Sasuke snatched his stuff and the bag, and glared at her. "We're leaving."

Ino's mouth dropped. He acted the exact same way he did in high school: mean, vicious, and controlling! However, she had to ask herself a few questions: was Sasuke carrying Hinata's stuff, paying for her stuff, and going out with her afterwards? Then she saw their left hands and gasped with a joyous scream. Sasuke glared at her and Hinata blinked perplexedly.

"Are you two...married?" she exclaimed.

Of course they were! She knew that's why Sasuke was so mean to Hinata and so obsessive! And that trick worked on her? Weird girl.

"I knew it!" she cheered. Sasuke realized what she was talking about and rushed Hinata out of the store before she got smart.

Hinata felt very out of place at Ino chanting her expression and Sasuke being unnerved during lunch.

Ino knew what?

Sasuke is pretty hilarious. Favoirte part: hospital scene.

[Oh, and when Hinata says no to having sex with him.]

Hm... If you could describe Hinata and Sasuke (separately), how would you?

"I Hope You Burn In Hell!" Hinata and a Literally Love-struck Sasuke?

(I hate descriptive phrase questions...)