This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of aimmyarrowshighin "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the aim's story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else aimmyarrowshigh has written. They're awesome. For real.)

Waiting

It was sunny outside, but the Katniss' didn't feel warm. She sat on the frozen earth littered with dead leaves, Peeta's robe puddled around her. It was easier not to be spotted out in the woods even if it meant getting the robe filthy. She didn't want her father's comfort. She didn't want Annie's wild turkey soup. And more than anything she didn't want Coin's assurances that everything would work out for the best.

She picked at a patch of burned grass and examined it as it crumbled in her fingers. A shadow passed over her hand.

"You could really use a bath."

"You could really mind your own business," she shot back.

Haymitch squatted down next to her. "Your father's been looking for you. He asked me to find you. Make sure you're okay."

She laughed joylessly. "I'm just perfect, aren't I? Go and tell him things are wonderful. My husband's dead and I can be whatever Face of the Future he wants me to be."

"Stop it!" Haymitch yelled at her. He saw her jump. "Sorry," he muttered. He took a deep breath. He struggled to meet her eye. "Aurelius called for you."

She froze. "When?"

"This morning. He's headed out here. He wanted to make sure you were still here; thought maybe you'd left after…the strike."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing," Haymitch answered. "Those phone lines are terrible; it cut out before I could ask him what it was about."

"Haymitch," she whispered. "I can't go on that stage and receive his body."

"You don't know it's that," he murmured. "It's only been two weeks. If he's in the hospital he could be unable to call. If he's not awake or lost his badge our doctors wouldn't know who he was."

She nodded dumbly.

"Look," he inhaled. "I'm sorry about the woods. It's your life. My regret has nothing to do with you."

Anger flared up like a bomb. "I didn't have an Affair!" She stood up and shoved his shoulder so he fell. "You can believe whatever the hell you want to believe. I'm going to wait for my husband or his body until I die too."

She took off running for her cabin. She was running so fast she nearly topped over when she stopped short outside.

Someone had written her name in neat handwriting. "Everdeen".

She kicked open the door and stormed into the kitchen. She yanked open drawer after drawer, letting things fall onto the floor as she searched. Finally she found the small piece of chalk she sought, filled her hand with water from the spigot and went back to the door. She smeared the name from the door and in her childish, sloppy handwriting spelled "Mellark" in its place. She slammed the door shut and stomped back to the living area.

She threw herself on her living room floor, wrapped in Peeta's robe tight around her, and pressed her face onto the cool couch cushions to muffle her screams.

Someone knocked at the door. She didn't move.

The door scraped open and footsteps crossed the threshold. "Katniss?"

She rolled her face to see Gale looking at the messy door with his eyebrows raised.

"Coin's ready to push him into a fucking grave," she slurred into sofa seat.

Gale sighed and moved to sit next to her head on the sofa. "I think your father wrote that, actually. He liked that you wanted to use his name. That you wanted to…be his daughter, that's all," Gale said apologetically. "They haven't given up hope."

"I think he matched Peeta to me so he could sacrifice him."

Gale looked at her sharply. "Katniss, that's an awful thing to say."

"It's not impossible, is it? He had Haymitch fix the matches. He knew Peeta loved me. He knew he'd die for me; Chaff must have told him about our escape and how he looked out for me. That's what they were talking about the night of the bonfire. You know it."

He had to drop her glare. "I-I guessed, but Katniss. To take him there just to die?"

She huffed with exasperation. "Well, not to die. But with the real possibility of death. Because even if he died, at least I'd be free." She stopped. "That's all either of them wanted. Dad and Peeta. For me to be happy."

She gulped, averting her eyes. "He wanted me to marry you."

Gale exhaled slowly. "Yeah, I know. My dad told me so much."

"He…They hoped you'd leave Johanna for me. Be the symbol of the new freedom to take what you want. No regrets."

Gale nodded. Katniss watched him. "I told Haymitch you wouldn't leave your kids," she said finally.

He said nothing.

"Gale?"

"I did think about it, Katniss. When my dad kept talking about how the Contracts would end, and when I saw you again here. I do sometimes think about you that way. I did back in Twelve, too."

"Oh," she said lamely. "I had always thought you loved Madge. But she thought you loved Johanna. You just weren't willing to admit it to her. To spare Madge's feelings."

"I do love Johanna," Gale interjected. He caught himself and blushed. "Sorry, that's the first time I've told anyone that."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad to hear that."

He nodded. "It's not that I don't love you too, Katniss. You're an amazing woman. I love you differently than I do Johanna. I think…" he shook his head. "I want to stay with her and the kids," he finished.

Katniss nodded. She wondered if she should be disappointed, but she couldn't feel too much of anything anymore. They sat in silence for a short while.

"Gale?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think he's still alive?"

"It's possible. Dad says there are hundreds of rebels still coming home every day."

"But do you think he's alive?" she asked, cornering him.

Gale eyed her. "I think he'd do everything he could to come home to you."

She smiled, tears welling back up. "Thank you."

He leaned down to wrap his arms around her and held her tight. "Katniss?"

"Hmmm?"

"You could really use a bath."

She was hiding behind the hastily erected replacement operations tent near the train tracks, trying to avoid the incoming rebel leaders still trickling in at this late afternoon hour. They were arriving in droves for the televised turnover of government in three days. Her father had begged and pleaded with her to meet them by his side. She wondered if it was to show her off or to get her out of the house. She had lasted an hour beside him before she made an excuse and escaped outside.

She wished she was wearing Peeta's robe again, but Gale had stolen it to wash while she was in the bath. It hurt to think when she got it back it would smell like soap and not flour and cocoa powder. She wanted to be angry, but she knew he meant well. So she just let it hurt.

She heard voices approaching and she darted off towards the woods nearer the train station. Walking through the trees, the icy breeze played with her loose hair. A flash of white passed her nose and she stopped to look up. The snow had just begun. She held her face to the sky, feeling like she was rising from the ground, wishing she could float away to where the snow came from. As her neck started to ache, she finally looked down to the squeal of old brakes emanating from the train station.

A pleasant faced middle-aged man was standing with Chaff as they helped a scrawny young man in a soldier's uniform off the hand cart she had arrived on. The soldier leaned forward they each took one of his shoulders and lifted him down. As the older man took a crutch from the cart and handed it to the young man, she recognized Dr. Aurelius. The doctor helped the young soldier situate the crutch under his armpit. She looked at the soldier beside him.

Her breath caught in her throat. His face was drawn and looked wan. His hair was limp, but still shone gold in the afternoon sun.

"Peeta?" she tried to call his name, but nothing came out. She tried again. "Peeta!"

On the third try she was able to make sound. It was faint, but he heard her. His eyes jerked up from the ground. "Katniss?" he looked around for the source of the voice, spinning while Aurelius tried to keep him from falling.

Her feet took off. She was running as fast as she could, calling his name as she ran. He began to move towards her, far slower than she but with the same determination. When she reached him, she knocked him down. The crutch went flying as she clung to him, desperately running her hands over his face, arms, hair, his chest trying to see if he was real.

"Shhhh," he whispered, "I'm here. It's okay."

"I thought, I thought…" she choked.

He pulled back to look in her eyes. "I promised."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. She tasted his tears mixed with hers.

They stayed locked together for a long time, until Dr. Aurelius finally had to nudge them.

"Come on, you two," Dr. Aurelius urged with a smile. "The ground is wet and freezing and neither of you are near the hospital anymore." He leaned down and pulled Katniss to her feet and they both offered Peeta their hands. When he was up, she saw the braces of the false leg slipping inside his boot as the doctor retrieved his crutch.

She gasped and bent down to touch his leg. "Oh, Peeta," she mourned.

He lowered his eyes. "It's not so bad," he attempted. "The doctor says I won't need the crutch forever. Just until I'm used to this leg."

"It doesn't matter," she said, standing and looking him in the eye. "It brought you back. That's all that matters." He nodded uncertainly.

She took his arm as they walked to the village center.

He stopped a few hundred yards from the huddle of tents. "Why are there so many people here?" he asked, eyeing the flurry of movement.

"They're broadcasting the government turnover here," Katniss told him. "The strike leaders have been coming in all week. I think it's in three days."

"Can we go to the house instead?" he asked. "I don't want-" he glanced at his leg. "I need to rest."

She nodded and they circled back around the rear of the tent.

"Katniss!"

She looked over her shoulder and saw Gale running around the tent to meet her. "Have you seen-" He froze. "'Peeta? Is that you?" He was staring at the crutch and Peeta's leg, and Katniss could see Peeta's ears flush red.

"Yeah, I just got back," he muttered.

"Wow," Gale breathed. "Glad to see you. Welcome home," he offered.

"Thanks."

"Katniss, have you seen Johanna? She was supposed to be here by now."

"Not yet. Sorry."

"Okay. I'll, um, ee you later." Gale gave her and Peeta a quick smile and then jogged back to the village center to look for his Spouse and children.

They had just started moving again when she heard her name again. "Katniss!"

"Dammit," she muttered. "I'm sorry, Peeta."

"It's okay," he murmured back.

The party turned again to see Donnel approaching, his eyes wide. "Mellark?"

"Sir." Peeta attempted to salute, but the crutch made him unsteady.

"Good to see you, man," Donnel smiled sympathetically, clapping him on the shoulder. "It was touch and go there. I wasn't certain we'd meet again." Peeta nodded.

Donnel waited for some reply, but continued when he didn't get one. "Come on inside the tent, I want to introduce you around."

"Dad, we were going to let him rest for a little while," Katniss interrupted, seeing the discomfort on Peeta's face.

"It will just take a minute," Donnel pleaded. "We need the full debrief for the official historical record. I want to recognize you in the ceremony."

"Really, Everdeen, he needs a break. It's been a long trip," Dr. Aurelius said.

"Five minutes? He's a hero, you know."

"It's okay," Peeta said. He turned to Katniss. "I'll see you very shortly." He smiled.

"Hurry home."

She watched him slowly make progress with her father circling the tent, a smile playing at her lips. They reached the edge and she saw Coin appear with something to hand to her father, but freeze with shock as she saw Peeta. She recovered and appeared to offer a welcome greeting and let Donnel and Peeta pass as she watched them. Her eyes lifted and she caught Katniss' stony glare. She smirked and disappeared.

"You're looking a little lean, Mrs. Mellark," Dr. Aurelius' voice intoned from behind her. She spun around. "Are you all right?"

"I haven't heard that name in a long time," she murmured. She smiled up at him. "I think I like it."

He smiled back. "Would you show me to the medical tent?"