Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. : (
Author's Note: thank you to my reviewers! So, as promised, here is another chapter. Please, don't be shy to tell me which character it should be about! It just takes me longer to post it trying to decide on who's list should be next (I spent AGES trying to decide between Edward and Rosalie!). R&R!
1. You are FORBIDDEN to change every piece of furniture and the walls in the house into mirrors. It isn't good for Alice or anybody who 'looks bad' in Alice's opinion - not to mention unbelievably VAIN.
2. You may NOT make your status on social sites (Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc.) as ANYTHING that has to do with your recent 'activities' with Emmett.
3. You are PROHIBITED from shopping with Emmett, Edward or Bella no matter who accompanies you. Emmett because you got too…inappropriate in the public toilets (you shouldn't have even been in the same one!), Edward because last time you destroyed half the store FIGHTING (which meant we had to move) and Bella because…too many reasons.
4. You are NEVER to hunt with Emmett. NEVER. Someday that 'waste of space' forest will come in handy during global warming, and everybody will die because YOU JUST COULDN'T CONTROL YOUR HORMONES!
5. You MUST spend 3 hours with Edward every Sunday to bond and try to get along. Even though it will be a pain in the back for you, it will be so much better for the rest of us in the long run!
6. You are NOT allowed to start a Rosalie Hale Fan Club / Rosalie Hale is the Hottest Person Ever page on Facebook. For one thing, NOBODY EVEN 'LIKED' IT, and like rule one it is VAIN.
7. You can NOT go around telling everybody your vampire power is beauty just because you are jealous of Jasper, Alice and Edward. It is, (once again…) VAIN, and no one even believes you - even vampires.
8. You are FORBIDDEN from adopting human children. It is unsafe for them due to what we are - and do NOT take this literally and adopt a 'preteen' as the young people call them these days. When the girls get their…menstrual cycle and get hormonal, if you haven't forgotten, SO DOES JASPER, which means EVERYONE does.
9. Do NOT waste your time trying to sunbathe. You need to get this fact into your head - WE. CAN NOT. GET. A. TAN! Never have, never will.
10. There are NOT 'plenty of Mike Newtons to go around.'! YOU WILL NOT KILL HIM FOR BEING 'too Mike-ish'!
"This is freaking STUPID! I'm not twelve here!" Rosalie shouted.
"We know. But you need these rules to keep you from behaving like one." Carlisle said gently.
"So what happens if I break these 'rules'?" Rosalie snapped.
"Depends. You break one that has to do with Facebook, you aren't allowed online for a while. Break it three times you will be banned from the site." Esme said.
"OH F**K YOU ALL!" Rosalie stood up, broke the chair, got into her car and drove off swearing.
"I think that went rather well!" Carlisle smiled, pleased the house was still in one piece.
"I know!" Esme agreed. "…until she gets home…"
"I think it's time for a trip to Denali!" Carlisle said, running upstairs and packing his bags.
"Well I think you're right!" Esme agreed running up after her husband. Anything to get away from here…
"WELL YOU TWO ARE SUCH GOOD PARENTS!" why, WHY, must our son read minds?
"BECAUSE HE IS SUPERIOR TO THE REST OF YOUR CHILDREN!" okay, time to get going!
"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR TO ME!" well, there's Alice…
Carlisle and Esme snuck out the door as there were several crashes and three BOOMs from Edward's bedroom.
What a lucky escape…
Well, what do you think? This was probably the hardest to write. Tell me who to write about next ;) two reviews, another chapter!
TwilightGal99