Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. : (
Author's note: okay, I got bored and had to update again, even if I didn't get reviews for the last. I've started a new story called Thomas Jefferson High. I'm trying really hard on it. The first chapter is up so please read (the summary sucks though). It's a crossover of Glee and Twilight, but you don't need to know either of the storylines to Glee or Twilight. Thanks!
1. You are NOT allowed to make Emmett lusty in school - even if he walked in on you and Alice. The teacher got him SUSPENDED for ripping her shirt off.
2. You are BANNED from toilet paper teepee-ing Emmett and Rosalie's room, Carlisle and Esme's room, Edward's room, the school OR Bella's house. Scratch that. Don't toilet paper teepee anywhere.
3. When Edward annoys you, you DON'T take your anger out on his piano - his Austin Martin annoys him more. P.S. Alice and Rosalie did not change this rule. NO WAY. Xx (those kisses were so NOT from Alice…)
4. Do NOT sell the Jeep (well, unless you want to be the one to start WW3).
5. You are NOT not (Alice did so NOT add in another not to make it mean that Jasper is not not allowed to make Emmett and Edward make out…) allowed to make Emmett and Edward want to make out in public. Or Carlisle and Rosalie. No one, okay?
6. You are FORBIDDEN from insulting Yankees. They fought for their people, just like you did.
7. You are PROHIBITED from spread rumors to the kids at school about Rosalie doing embarrassing stuff as a child. Yes, this includes wetting herself, being afraid of ducks, penguins and all flightless birds.
8. You CAN'T put videos of Emmett making a fool of himself on Your Tube, even if 'it was too funny. It would be cruel not to share it with the world!'
9. You are NOT allowed to make Rosalie feel ugly, even if she was saying everybody was ugly apart from her. (The smart thing to do is make her feel like shutting up before Esme hears her.)
10. You may NOT make Esme feel guilty when she grounds you even if 'it was all Emmett's fault'. You won't be able to control her forever and will eventually face her wrath (as you have found out…)
"I am so glad I have two lovely parents who care so much to make rules for me and leave them in reach of Alice! And as for rule eight…it's YOUTUBE, not Your tube." Jasper smiled sending out waves of guilt. Esme twitched.
"These are for your own good, Jasper." Carlisle said calmly, almost giving in to the guilt.
"For your own good." Esme repeated, agreeing. Any second now! Jasper thought to himself.
"You know what? FORGET THE RULES! We love you for who you are, Jasper! Now go spread rumors about Rosalie and make her feel ugly! Put thousands of stupid videos of Emmett on your tube! Insult the Yankees like there's no tomorrow! SELL THAT JEEP!" cried Esme ripping up the ex-rules.
"Sure thing, Esme…" Jasper grinned and walked out of the room I wonder how much Em's jeep is actually worth…