Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…screw you, disclaimer inventor!
Author's note: now I've done Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie I'm going to do the wolf pack. Enjoy!
Sam POV
I was so sick of this. If Leah and Paul weren't hurling insults at each other, they were hurling them at everybody else. If Embry and Quil weren't messing around on patrol, they were talking about the news of Collin being gay. If Collin wasn't trying to talk to Leah about how good the pack looked naked, he was reading Leah's magazines. If Jacob wasn't obsessing over the Swan girl, he was fooling around with Quil and Embry. If Jared wasn't gambling, he was avoiding patrols saying he was pregnant.
Today this would all come to a stop. Emily was going to help me make rules for the pack. Ten for every one of them.
I sat down with Emily at the table. First up: Jacob.
1. You are not allowed to obsess over Bella when in wolf form unless NOBODY else is in wolf form. Last time Leah dreamt about kissing Bella we didn't hear the end of it for weeks.
2. You are not allowed to comment about Quil imprinting on a three year old (yes, this means you aren't allowed to call him a cradle snatcher or pedophile).
3. You are not allowed to start fights with Paul on purpose just to amuse yourself. He needs to learn to control his anger and provoking him to fight is NOT going to help!
4. You, Paul, Leah, Embry and Quil can't declare a paintball war on Jared, Collin, Seth and Brady just because 'we felt bored and we had paintball guns, so we thought we'd put them to use'.
5. You are not allowed to sneak in the Sam and Emily's house to get food. Yes, even if the food in your own fridge isn't good enough.
6. You are not allowed to talk about the news of Collin being gay with the rest of the pack - even about Collin reading Leah's magazines. He can't help his sexual orientation!
7. You can't flirt with Leah just to annoy Sam. It really hurts him.
8. You are not allowed to remind Leah about Sam imprinting. For one thing, if you do, you will eventually lose your dick due to a vicious attack from a certain she-wolf…and Emily will definitely be left bridesmaid-less.
9. You can't sing. So don't. For all of our sakes…
10. You are not allowed to steal Leah's clothes. She doesn't appreciate having to run around naked and she WILL make you regret it later. Remember what happened to Paul, Jacob, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO PAUL!
"Okay Sam, this is bullshit. And I am sorry but my answer to number seven is you are such a freaking baby! There are gonna be loads of guys who flirt with her and you are just going to walk over to the guy and say 'Here's a list of rules for ya. See that one there? Yeah, that says you can't flirt with Leah. So back off.'. Leah wouldn't be very happy with you now would she?" Jacob laughed. Sam glared at him.
"I'm sure she will in the future but as for now you are not to flirt with her." Sam stated.
"You are not in charge of me! If you think Paul or Leah will even bother to read theirs, you are gonna be surprised." Jacob argued.
"I'm Alpha, and what I say goes, Jacob." Sam snapped. Jacob mimicked him in a high pitched girly voice.
"UGH!" Sam stormed out of the room.
"Wow. I always knew he loved me!" Jacob grinned and frolicked out of the house to play Xbox with Quil and Embry.
Well? What do you think? I kinda felt random towards the end, hence why Jacob frolicked out of the house…hehe! REVIEW NOW!