Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight if the previous disclaimers haven't made that freaking clear enough to Mr. I-Don't-Like-People-Being-Happy-So-I'll-Invent-Disclaimers!

Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews. I am TRYING to update ASAP. Still, I love carnivals and there is one near my house so sorry. : ( Review!

P.S.: when I write a Leah story I always imagine Vanessa Hudgens instead of the actress who portrays Leah because in the movie Leah looks like 30 years old and is meant to be 19. In my opinion Vanessa looks around that age. Vanessa actually did audition for the role of Leah but she was thought of as too happy (the casting people obviously were thinking of HSM, but Vanessa showed them when she got the part of Sa5m in Bandslam, didn't she? Hehe!).

BTW, this will have very bad language due to Leah Clearwater's mouth.

1. You are not allowed to team up with Seth against Quil and Embry to insult each other. QUIL IS NOT A PEDOPHILE! Embry's hair has NO similarities to Justin Bieber's!

2. You are not allowed to buy Jared condoms for his birthday - even if he has been cracking jokes on how active his sex life is lately with Kim.

3. You are NOT allowed to flirt with Jacob to make Sam jealous. It hurts him.

4. You are not allowed to pay Jared to dress in Emily's clothes for your amusement. First of all, it is mean because his IQ is too low for him to realize you are ripping him off with green monopoly money, uploading the pictures onto the internet and making people question his sexual orientation and secondly, he rips Emily's clothes due to his large waist.

5. You are not allowed to encourage Collin to grow his hair just because you miss having girl friends to talk about hair with. His hair would be too long when he phased…not to mention there would be a long hairdressing bill. He'd have curls one day, layers the next…just don't encourage him.

6. You are not allowed to threaten Jacob's chances of reproducing when you are mad at him. Actually, don't threaten Paul's either. Or Seth's. Or anybody else in the pack. We need them to pass on the wolf genes.

7. You are not allowed to plan any pranks on Sam and Emily with Quil. Quil has a devious mind and combined with yours, you are lethal. Also, Sam and Emily need a house to live in so do not set fire to their mail. Fire SPREADS.

8. You are not allowed to wear a bikini - even when swimming or doing anything water related. Some of the pack cannot control when…their manhood decides to stick up. So please…don't.

9. You are not allowed to play poker with Brady. He still owes you $50 (which you will tell him he can keep) and can't afford to constantly lose to you.

10. You are not allowed to play strip poker with the guys. You know the reasons why.

"This is a piece of fucking bullshit. You are NOT the boss of me and you never will be. While I am a wolf you might be able to tell me what to do but while I have two legs, you can go fuck yourself, fat-ass." Leah snapped, standing up and walking out the door with the list in her hand.

"Well, that went well…" Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Sam sniffed the air.

"I think I smell burning…oh shit!" Sam swore and grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed it at the newspaper which had been set alight and shoved through their mailbox. Inside the newspaper, burnt to a state which rendered it unreadable was Leah's list.

"THAT'S FOR NUMBER THREE JACKASS!" they heard Leah shout from outside.

"Well, the fire's out." Sam shrugged.

"I have got to say I think she took that rather well!" smiled Emily.

"Better than I would have expected." Sam agreed.

"HEY BRADY, WANNA PLAY POKER?"

"Well that list was so not a waste of time!" Emily said sarcastically.

"Not at all!" Sam agreed.

"Idiot…" mumbled Emily.

Then they drove off to get Sam's IQ tested and Brady lost another $50 to the lovely Leah Clearwater.

Well? What do you think? Did I do Leah well? You could tell me…in a review!

TwilightGal99