Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…grr!
Author's Note: sorry for the long wait guys! I have excuses though:
1. My wireless internet is down and I have to go into my mother's room to update because there's a wire that I put in the side of my laptop…yeah I'm not bothered to explain the whole thing, but pretty much it means my mother can see the screen and I don't want her knowing about this site…
2. I was in Belfast for a week and hadn't got my laptop with me.
Anyway, enjoy this chapter. Once again I apologize for the wait. These are Paul's rules by the way.
PS: I put up a second chapter in my new story. I made it really long and I put a lot of effort into it so please review on it. Xxx
1. You may not refer to any girl's breasts (especially Leah's) as 'knockers', 'tits', 'racks' or any other words you and your sick mind come up with. They are called breasts.
2. You are not allowed to accuse Collin of watching gay porn. He doesn't. Never has, and hopefully never will.
3. You are not allowed to trap Leah inside a closet. No matter what Shakira says, don't.
4. You may not create a fan site for yourself. It's one of your dumbest ideas ever.
5. Don't encourage Collin and Brady to drop out of school. They won't be able to get a job outside of the fast food industry if they do. Believe it or not, unlike you, some people want to do something with their lives besides getting employee discounts at McDonalds.
6. You are not allowed to spread rumors that Brady is gay and dating Collin.
7. You are not allowed to make any inappropriate comments about Rachel when Jacob is around, otherwise WW3 may commence.
8. You are NOT NOT allowed to suggest to the elders that they buy the whole pack a house to live in together. DO NOT. The elders almost bought one last time…
9. You are not allowed to set Embry up on blind dates.
10. You are not allowed to try to set Collin up with Justin Beiber. Justin is not gay, even though many people worldwide claim he is. Also, Justin's bodyguard may come and hunt you down. Upon Mr. Beiber's orders of course.
"Seriously Sam? Are you trying to piss me off?" Paul groaned, frustrated.
"Maybe. Maybe not." Sam replied.
"Sam honey, cut it out. No, Paul, he is not trying to annoy you. He is trying to save you from yourself. If it is not too late, that is." Emily sighed. Here we go again, listening to the pack moan and groan about their rules. I knew Paul would be the worst… she thought to herself.
"Jeez, Emily. I'd expect smart ass comments from the she-wolf, but not from the muffin woman…" Paul said staring at Emily attempting to piss her off.
Sam grabbed a pen and wrote another rule on the sheet of paper in front of Paul.
11. You are not allowed to make bets with Embry about trying to get Emily mad. She's a gentle woman and does not get 'pissed off'.
"HEY! Not even Leah got eleven!" Paul snapped jumping to his feet, knocking the table over and breaking it in the process.
"Leah doesn't make bets about my fiancé." Sam snapped back.
"How do you know? You don't hang with us anymore, only in stupid pack meetings and when you're on patrol!"
"Stop bickering at get out; get a job, AND PAY FOR THAT TABLE!" Emily screeched.
"And you said she didn't get pissed off!" Paul yelled as the two men ran to safety from Emily.
"And you have found your superpower! Pissing off the most un-piss-off-able person in the world!"
"Sam that is the worst fucking superpower EVER!"
"Just keep running!"
Unlike Sam, Paul remembered he was a wolf and phased, leaving Sam to face an angry Emily.
Later when Emily calmed down
"Sam? Y'know that rule about the house? Number eight? Right there between number seven and number nine?" Paul came bounding in to Sam and Emily's house with his list.
"Yes Paul. Believe it or not I have the wonderful ability to count to ten!" Sam said sarcastically.
"Well good for you. Anyway, the exact words on this sheet or paper are:
'8. You are NOT NOT allowed to suggest to the elders that they buy the whole pack a house to live in together. DO NOT. The elders almost bought one last time…'
As you can tell, this claims I may not not suggest the idea to the elders. If you are one of the few of us in the modern world who have an understanding of the English language, you will see that this is claiming I can't not share my idea with our lovely elders. But no need to worry Sameo, I'll get right to it!"
"What do you want Paul?"
"Oh, we're getting panicky now aren't we?"
"Paul!"
"Sam!"
"PAUL!"
"SAM!"
"SHUT UP!" the two boys turned to Emily, who had seemed invisible.
"Sorry honey." Sam apologized.
"Whipped…"
"Paul!" Emily scolded.
"Emily!" Paul grinned.
"Paul, tell me what you want and LEAVE." Sam demanded.
"I want you to get rid of my rules and Leah's rules."
"Wait a minute - why Leah's?" Emily asked suspiciously.
"She was the one who noticed the loophole, so I got to give her some credit."
"Fine. No rules for you or Leah." Sam sighed giving in. upon hearing these words Paul fled the scene.
"Well that's Quil, Paul and Leah rule-less." Emily snapped.
"I didn't have any other options!" sam argued in his defense.
"You could have told the elders he just wanted to do the dirty with Leah and they would have forbidden it!"
"Well; I guess I didn't think of that."
"No, you didn't."
"Sorry."
"you should be."
"I am."
"good."
"I'm hungry."
"I'll make dinner then."
"Can we have muffins for dinner?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes! I mean no! I mean! STOP BEING SO CHILDISH!"
"I am sorry for releasing my inner child then!"
"YOU SHOULD BE!"
"I AM!"
"GOOD!"
"I'M GETTING DÉJÀ VU!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE WE'VE ALREADY SAID THIS!"
"Well no wonder. You should lower your voice."
"I'm ordering a takeaway, using your credit card to pay and you can cook for yourself!"
Well I hope you liked it! Don't forget to review, by the way. Fewer reviews, the less motivated I feel! Anyway, check out my other story and PLEASE, mention who you think the next chapter for this story should be about in your review!
TwilightGal99 xxx