A/N Sorry I didn't leave an author's note previously. I don't own Artemis Fowl, blah blah blah. Anyhow, not too sure where I'm going to go, but I've got an idea. Plus, I managed to write a 156 page long book on whims only... plus it's not even done! Anyhow, enjoy my crap here xD

FOWL MANOR

Artemis Fowl II was deep in thought. He had been in thought for quite a while now, running different scenarios through his brain, depicting options and possibilities, but nothing seemed to add up just right. So much deceit and crimes over the years. Heroics, antics, fights, arguments, polar opposites, and still friends.

He loved the word as much as he was beginning to hate it. With a new passion. A passion that lacked previously. And with every day, he knew it growing. Swelling in his mind like a bomb preparing to... go off at any time. Of course, their were two catches.

One. Artemis knew exactly what it was. What this problem seemed to be. It wasn't much of a problem in the end. Really. It was nearly a good thing, if not for the fact that it could do more damage to him than a direct and honest insult to Foaly's intelligence. More than Mulch's damnable 'explosive capabilities.'

Two. God, what a terrible number. Half as bad as four. Death. But he knew that wasn't important. The important thing was that Artemis, for the first time in his life, didn't know how to fix his problem. The problem that had plagued him, unbeknownst to no-one but himself and the source, for years. It broke him inside, split him in two. Caused him to flinch at the thought of two, being half of four. A bad number, four. And two.

Wait. He forgot the third problem. Now he had a splitting headache.

Butler entered the room, his typical, terrifying demeanour fading as he looked at the distraught young man.

Butler was proud of Artemis. Over the last while, his criminalistic activities were become less of exactly that. He, as a person, a whole, had grown so much. Three years in a day, so to speak, he mused to himself, almost chuckling out loud.

But he was also worried. The Atlantis Complex had certainly faded to a much smaller extent, his split personality developed into himself, and utter fear of fours... faded. Not gone, and his love of fives...

Butler sighed.

"Artemis?" he asked, "Are you alright? You seem a little... well strained recently."

The boy looked up at his friend. He knew what was coming already.

"Did you at least try?"

Artemis shook his head, when suddenly his LEP communicator rang, and a very Root-like Commander Trouble was on the other line.

"YOU MUD BOY!" he bellowed, red faced and glaring, pointing an accusing finger at the little screen. Clearly something had happened recently that must have led Kelp to assume it was his fault. Then again, it seemed more and more recent that he was... unreasonable.

"Yes, Trouble, I am... that." Five words.

The Commander sighed and calmed, but the glare remained. At least his voice came out more... sophisticated.

"Listen, mud-boy, you have to do something before I change my mind. Holly is coming for an extended vacation. With-out pay." He looked pained. Maybe frustrated. Maybe both. Artemis would have to enquire Foaly for details. The damn donkey-boy seemed to always have childish gossip on hand, and something about Trouble remind him of an angry child with power and a gun.

"Why, of course my good Commander," he grinned with a flash of a smirk beneath it. Six words?

On the inside, Artemis felt like he was exploding. His heart flipped uncomfortably, and stomach lurched. Holly was coming over?

Then joy. A huge grin almost broke across his face like a child on Christmas. He didn't even need to make the call.

Of course, as Trouble was hanging up, Artemis noticed a large red mark on the side of his face, along with what looked like what is growing to be a black eye. But the call disconnected before he could say anything. Then came that giant grin and another heart flop.\

LEP HQ : EARLIER

The lips on her lips. Oh god, he was kissing her.

And honestly? It wasn't all bad. It was rather nice, comforting, soft. Worst of all, it seemed like it fit. Perfectly. Everything seemed right. Like the whole Ying and Yang metaphor.

She hated that metaphor. It seemed like there was a 'rule' of perfection. And also, she honestly thought to herself, (while still being smothered) she had begun to enjoy things that didn't fit. Large to small. Polar opposites. Opposites attract. Another rule, yes, but it made this situation wrong, and that was good enough for her. It felt wrong in her heart, despite everything they had gone through together. Like a brother and sister.

So, upon her own conclusion, she acted swiftly.

She slapped. Hard. Hard enough to send her old friend reeling across the room, only to fall over the chair he had placed between them and the door out. She pressed a small button on her desk that sent a silent alert to the buildings security. Trouble was about to get... temperamental.

She smirked at the thought. Guess it's time to break some rules.

She pushed the chair out of her way, and grabbed Kelp by the collar, heaving him up to face her.

"Frond's... name... what's wrong with you Holly? D'arvit!"

What was this look in her eye, he wondered. It was like fear mixed with victory... with a hint of exhaustion. A smile had crept to her face, quite like one he had seen Artemis use years ago. Almost vampiric really. She closed the golden eye that was originally hers, revealing only the mud-boy's in question.

"Hey Trubs? You and I? We're good friends and all, but I'm in the mood. I think you broke a rule, and this crazy girly captain is a bit jealous! Why don't I get to break rules too?" she paused, feigning thought process, "You know what? I know how to fix this! I'll just... make up for it."

With a hurl of all the strength she could muster, he small, fairy fist collided with Kelp's eye, knocking him out.

Within seconds, the security showed up and misunderstood the whole situation. Perfect. Holly grinned with pride as she laid back in her chair, spinning it around and resisting giggling while the guards looked at her with looks of surprise on their faces.

Within hours and the case being presented to the Council, Holly was diagnosed with mental health issues, malnutrition, long-term exhaustion, and a little bit more. After the meeting, (which Holly hardly listened to. I mean, like, at all.) one of the councillors pulled her aside.

"Listen, Major Holly. I've seen stuff like this before."

Holly raised a brow.

"I really shouldn't be doing this, but I'll let you know something. You need to take some... time to yourself, I'll say. Maybe, after doing what it is you need to do, you'll come back to the LEP feeling... refreshed. But make sure you come to terms with everything that's happening in your life. Not just what's happening around you, but in you as well."

Now Holly was really sceptical. One of the esteemed Councillors coming to talk to her one on one, just for her own sake?

"What's your angle, no disrespect intended ma'am, but to what interest is a single LEP officer to you?"

The Councillor smiled, looking back on some old memory, it seemed.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did. That's why. Now, go home for the night. Tomorrow, tell your... er..." the Councillor chuckled, "friend, Commander Kelp what you would like to do for your vacation. It's his responsibility as to get you access, but it's up to you to decide."

Holly paused thoughtfully. Where should she go? Foaly's? Nah, too annoying. Mulch? Frond protect me. Lili?

Of course, she already knew the answer to her question. Fowl.

"Any ideas?" the elder elf asked with a mischievous grin. Holly grinned too, one that matched the elder's.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess I got a clue. I've got a... friend... to go piss off. It's a bit against regulations to visit him, but you know what?"

The elder chuckled.

"You've never been one for rules," she chuckled, nervously remembering reading through the Major's files. Quite a history, if an elf ever had one.

A/N -sigh- this is atrocious. I hate myself. But writing is always fun. Hope at least you enjoyed it. Next chapter? Some proper A/H I promise. ANYWAYS. Make sure you review! I need to know how to write better.