April 16th. Wednesday Dusk. Public Park.
I stood in facing Haruhi. Her ice cold glare was piercing, and her eyes...had she been crying? Why? I knew she was possessive with her precious brigade members but wasn't this a bit too much? This wasn't like her. When she didn't have her way she got mad not sad. She's not making any sense.
„I...uhm…It wasn't..." I mumbled.
„Don't stall, speak!" Haruhi barked at me. Her voice quivered ever so slightly. Not very noticeably but still enough to unnerve me even more. The first time she had tried to re-create the world I had hardly noticed her being that upset, just frustrated. This time however was different. It wasn't hard to see that she was more than just angry.
"Don't just stand there like a moron! Say something!" Haruhi hissed at me, whatever patience she had in her gone.
"It wasn't what it looked like," I blurted out. What a stupid thing to say. It was exactly what it looked like. She saw that. A whole crowd saw that. That's just a moronic line characters in TV shows use when they're caught doing something improper, and it's always exactly what it looks like.
Haruhi narrowed her eyes at me. "Then what was it?" She asked bitterly.
"It was…She kissed me, okay? She didn't ask or even give me time to react," I meekly explained.
That was the wrong thing to say wasn't it? I didn't really feel like I had time to consider my words carefully but if this is the best I could come up with the world is doomed. Dammit!
The erupting volcano in front of me was not appeased. Her expression did change into one that didn't look familiar on her face. If I didn't know any better I'd say she looked just a bit hurt. Not that I'd know what that look of hers means, you never see her react like this.
"Don't," She said firmly, "I don't want hear that crap." She finally broke her glare at me and stared down.
Just what the hell do I say now? I need to calm her down so I can't raise my voice with her even if I want to so I can't really argue with her. So do I apologize? That seems like the thing to do, but apologize for what? Is she mad at me for getting distracted from brigade activities by meeting girls? No, she wouldn't get this upset at that. Maybe it was meeting Tachibana behind her back? That might me, but I still didn't feel like I need to do any apologizing just for that. Haruhi doesn't own me no matter how she acts towards her lowliest brigade member.
My phone buzzed. I instantly reached for it from my pocket. It was a text message from Tachibana, it read "let's not end the world over this, just play your part like you always do". That phrasing is just her going out of her way to make sure she's the least helpful she possibly can be. I didn't feel like responding to it, honestly I didn't care what she had to say now.
"Your girlfriend trying to find you?" Haruhi accused. She said the word girlfriend like she was talking about a criminal or worse.
"It's not like that, Haruhi," I pleaded.
I can't be beating around the bush in this situation. Better to ask and be a fool for a minute than never ask and be a fool forever, right? Not that forever will be a long time if I can't calm her down and the world ends. It's obvious that not knowing exactly what's upsetting her will only lead me to keep on saying all the wrong things.
"Look…I'll just be honest. I don't know why you're this upset," I said, trying to sound diplomatic.
For a second she stared at me completely dumfounded.
"What!"
Oh god she's yelling now. Why is even more angry?
She stood up, grabbed my shirt and pulled me down so my eyes were on her eyelevel.
"What do you mean you don't know! How oblivious are you! How can you not…you jerk!"
"I just-"
"Shut up!" Haruhi yelled at me, "I don't know either! Why would I be upset because of you making out with some girl you just met like a stupid hormone-pumped teenager! Like I even care!"
She pushed me back and let go of my shirt. I feel like I'm being toyed with. Stuck in a sinking ship with no lifeboat. I don't like being treated this way but the fact that she already looked very hurt, although I can't see why she'd be hurt, prevents me from responding in any remotely violent manner. I'm not one be aggressive to a girl, not when I'm the offending party at least. I just wanted this situation to pass, just wanted her to calm down. I grabbed her shoulders.
"Haruhi. Please, calm down," I said.
Yes. That'll do the trick. Crisis adverted.
"Like hell I will!" She lifted her hands and pushed mine of her shoulders. It was at that moment I noticed that Tachibana was standing just few meters away from us. Judging by the growl I heard from Haruhi I guess she noticed her to.
"Please don't be so mad at him," Tachibana said. If I didn't know how deceitful she is I'd say she sounded heartfelt.
Haruhi gave Tachibana the coldest stare I've ever seen her give anyone.
"Allow me to explain what happened. I wasn't completely honest with why I asked Kyon-kun to meet me," Tachibana pleaded to Haruhi.
Haruhi said nothing. She just kept shooting Tachibana daggers, but broke away from her death glare just long enough to shoot me a dagger or two.
"I asked him to meet with me because I wanted to talk to him but it was just a pretext. I was going to flirt with him," Tachibana explained as if she was ashamed. "I tried to but he didn't respond and when he didn't respond like I wanted to I just kissed him when he didn't expect it."
I heard Haruhi make an angry noise, and I could see she was clenching her fists. What's with her? I haven't seen her this emotional since she mistook that love letter to Nagato as being from me.
Tachibana continued her plea. "When he realized that you saw me kissing him he immediately broke away from me, got mad at me for upsetting you and ran after you, and now I can see how it is with you two."
Tachibana took a bow and said that next part with all sincerity.
"I now see my mistake. I'm sorry that I tried to steal him away from you."
Wait. Steal me away? It's…is that why she's upset? She though Tachibana had stolen me away from her? But…stolen how? I could still be a Brigade member even if I was dating, no need to be so dramatic about that.
At that moment something in my head just clicked, perhaps the severity of the situation forced my mind to look for solutions in new places or perhaps the mounting evidence just couldn't be ignored anymore. Several things went through my head. Seeing Haruhi this overemotional reminded me of when she thought I had written a love letter to Nagato. The day of the first big closed space incident the only thing I can recall her being angry about was when she caught me and Asahina borderline flirting. All those things Koizumi has been saying about me and my significance Haruhi began to make sense. The way she reacted to my chance encounter with Sasaki now made sense. And now, How she was reacting to me kissing Tachibana…all those things and more that had confused me for far too long could now be explained by one grand unifying theory. Other times I could dismiss her reactions as part of her eccentricity or possessiveness, but there really was no other reason she would react so badly to me kissing another girl.
Tachibana raised her head, "I'll leave you two alone from now on, if it's any consolation I envy you." Then she turned around and briskly walked away.
She just said that to calm Haruhi down. I'm sure of that. There's nothing to envy here. It's not that…I don't even know, I'd just rather not be here with Haruhi furious at me and probably subconsciously planning to recreate the world. At least now I think I understand her. I don't see any way out of this other than to stop acting like an oblivious idiot. Fate of the world in the balance and all that.
"You…" I began speaking but ran into difficulties picking my next and maybe final words. Can't turn into a coward now, this needs to be said. If I am to have any chance of calming her down I must confront this elephant in the room, whether I like it or not…and believe me, I don't like being put on the spot like this. But if I'm right, and I leave her with this unresolved, she'll just wallow in her frustration and we'll both end up right in that closed space again. Or worse, she'll create one without me in it to stop her.
Can't I just kiss her now and get this over with? Or do I need to be inside the closed space for that to work…On second thought, the kisses probably wouldn't cancel each other out, I don't think they work like that. I also don't think either of us is in the mood…
Haruhi kept staring at me, a mix of anger and sourness in her face.
"You…Do you…like me?" I managed to utter that phrase with all the awkwardness it carries. I feel like I deserve a medal for that. The kind of medal they give military pilots when they only give them fuel enough for a one-way trip. Blood rushed to my head, making my face feel warm and head feel slightly dizzy. There's sort of a surreal quality to moments like this when you pass a point of no return or some fundamental understanding or relationship you had gets questioned, and this is definitely one of those moments.
"Do I what?" Haruhi said stunned and her eyes widened. So at least I got to see the look of genuine shock in her face before I get wiped from existence.
"You…the way you're acting…I hadn't really thought of it before but…do you...do you have a crush on me?" I managed to drag out of me without looking her in the eyes.
Great. Just great. The world is ending, the fat lady is singing and I'm trying to prevent it by reciting lines from some daytime television teenage drama. Screw it, I don't think I have the time for a more poetic phrasing.
"What! You're telling me you hadn't…" Haruhi drifted off, and then came back with a vengeance. "You honestly all this time never even…not even when I…how oblivious are you!"
She's back to yelling, but now in a more familiar tone. Less dramatic. I think she's calming down, I guess Tachibanas appearance did more good than I thought.
"No. It didn't occur to me! Why would it?" I shot back. My voice was sharper than I would've liked but enough was enough, I'm not taking the blame for this predicament alone. She never makes any sense, she can't expect me to read her. "You always play the leader with me, treat me like a lowly member. Even when you do something nice it's always under some pretext or behind some excuse! How was I supposed to come to the conclusion that you liked me that way when you never act like a normal girl with a crush but instead a demanding boss on a crusade?"
"Can't you just take a hint!" Haruhi snapped at me "Or are you so boring to the core that a girl has to bring herself down to the level of a poorly written manga character and act like some classic case of a love stuck teenage girl just to get through to you! Is that the only wavelength you can pick up on?"
So was that 'yes' to my original question? Does she even know what she's saying now? Is she admitting to liking me or just insulting my taste in women? Or both? Does that even make sense?
"Well...Tachibana acted like a love-struck teenager and I at least noticed her intentions during the short time we spent together. I didn't even know she had any ulterior motives when she asked to meet me," I explained as calmly as I could.
"A tongue down your throat would be hard to ignore!" Haruhi growled.
"No…well yes actually, but hardly the point. I noticed her intentions before she kissed me."
I couldn't help notice Haruhi flinching slightly at the mention of that kiss. And as if my face didn't feel warm enough...at least Haruhis face has also turned scarlet.
"It was just that she acted more direct, more to the point," I tried to explain without letting my embarrassment about this discussion show too much, "To be honest I found her directness slightly off-putting, she came across as trying too hard. Still, in a way she got further along with me on that walk than the two of us have in all this time we've know each other."
That sentence was followed by the longest awkward silence of my life. Brutal honesty can have that effect. Haruhi stared into the pond next to us with a sour look on her face and her hands crossed.
"So, you're saying that you don't like that girl?" Haruhi finally said. "You've had all you wanted and now you're moving on?" Haruhis anger was fading. Fading but far from gone.
"I…No, She…She…" Well you see, she's an agent from a rival faction that manipulated me into walking into a trap and I'm not sure that dating her would be a good idea. "She's just not my type, you know? I told you I found her approach off-putting."
I noticed Haruhis posture got more relaxed and somehow the tension in the air was slowly defusing as this argument moved down from crisis-level and began to sound more like our normal bickering. Haruhi took a deep breath and spoke in a controlled matter-of-factly manner.
"And what is your type? What can get though that thick idiot scull of yours? I'm asking purely out of scientific interest, you have to be one unique specimen. If every guy is like you the human race is doomed. This whole moment makes me question how we ever got this far as a species."
"I don't know…I guess I'll know it when I see it."
I'm sure I stole that line from some old high school romance. Doesn't make it any less true, however unhelpful.
"What a stupid thing to say! Of course you know! It's your type after all! But it is as expected from someone who meets a girl and doesn't even realize he's on a date." Haruhi refocused her death glare at me. "You're going on more dates to see if you find anything you like?" she said in an accusing tone and hammered my chest with her index finger.
"I hadn't planned on it, and why does this sound like an accusation? I told you I didn't realize how you…felt, and with the way you acted towards me did little to help me. So stop blaming me," I shot at her. Does she expect me to read her mind? Even if I could read minds I'd never be able to make sense of whatever goes on in her head.
"Now you know! Through no fault of my own I care when I see you kiss other girls," She said like was trying to make it sound trivial. She crossed her arms and looked away. "and I…Aww geez…" she covered her face with her left hand as she seemed to realize what she just said.
"I'm just not…in control here," She reluctantly, "I wasn't even looking for a dumb high school romance until you had to invoke it! So fine! I guess there's no point denying it now and I'm no coward so I'll admit! I'm a healthy young woman and you're…you got my attention. That's all. Don't let it go to your head, I'm still your leader and I'm still furious at you! And don't think there won't be a punishment for you for this! You've really outdone yourself this time!"
She looked up and stared me directly in the eyes with an intense gleam in her eyes. "Now that you've forced me to admit all that, what are you going to do about it?" she said, clearly expecting an answer right now.
Suddenly I became even more aware of the fact I was speaking to a reality warper, and also to the fact that in her own weird way Haruhi Suzumiya had just opened up to me. I need to just tell her the truth, I hate how much of our relationship is built on lying to her and frankly I'm exhausted from it
"I…I don't know."
Nailed it
"I mean…I don't know right now. This is a lot to take in. I haven't…"
"Don't stall like that, Just say it already!" Haruhi interrupted crossly.
"I'm trying to."
This is harder than I thought. Just giving the girl a clear answer is the obvious way out of this but I don't really have one. It wasn't even a clear question for that matter. I'm still adjusting to this new information. The idea of being romantically involved with a girl as pretty and energetic as Haruhi is appealing in some ways but the girl has issues, part of our relationship is based on keeping stuff away from her, our situation is far from ideal with all those factions circling in, and most importantly I just don't like being put on the spot like this. It feels like anything I say now will sound forced. Maybe I can find a way to ease into this? To calm her down, save the world and downgrade this from world-ending crisis now to an epic awkwardness later. That sound like a fair trade-off.
I took a good look at Haruhi while I was composing a response. This…confrontation of ours had left both of us with limited personal space, she was still close enough for me to place my hands on her shoulders but she'd see through such a feeble gesture. I took a look to my side…the sun is setting…and we're right next to a pond, reflecting the setting sun? For someone who doesn't like High School dramas you really have a gift for stumbling into the right setting for one…
"Okay, how about this," I said with a soft voice, like a lowly diplomat presenting an offer to a head of a powerful nation. "We both go home, calm down and get some time to think on this. I promise I won't date any other girls until we've talked properly. It's just that I think you're too upset for us to have a proper talk and I'd really like to sleep on this and not say anything rash."
Haruhi scowled at me. "Why? What can't you say now that you can say later? And did you just offer me to go exclusive?"
With you it's hard not to be exclusive, my dear jealous reality warper. "I guess I did. I just want to...think about this. I think it's obvious we must...rethink things."
"You want to…go home and…rethink?" She recited like she didn't understand the meaning of the words.
"Yes…you said you didn't like acting like a character from a poorly written manga and I agree, but this whole scene looks like it was ripped directly from a cheesy love story, where the couple resolves all their issues in a single scene at the end. Everyone knows that reality isn't like that, we should just back up and slow down before we dig ourselves deeper into some convoluted drama. "
It sounds like I'm somewhat competent at this romance stuff, but that's not true. I'm just good at criticizing bad manga as I've done a lot of that in the past and all I'm trying to do is get Haruhi to slow down so now I can apply that knowledge by pointing out how these kind of scenes don't make sense. That is all.
"So…you're saying we should…slow down and find our pace?" Haruhi did not sound very angry or very sad for the first time since this exchange began. She looked like she had a lot on her mind
"Yes, that's more or less what I was trying to say," I said, relived she was finally calming down.
"And you say all this mere minutes after you kiss another girl?" Haruhi accused, not completely convinced.
She has a point. Since when am I one of those guys that does things like that? I swear I never tried to build a harem or anything of the sort.
"That wasn't my fault! Tachibana already explained how I happened, and I can promise I won't see her again." That girl has exhausted what little trust I had in her so that's an easy promise to make.
"Alright…figures your solution would be some fumbling stalling or indecisiveness but…I don't I want to hear any more of your excuses and I don't have anything more to say to you right now anyway," Haruhi rubbed her forehead like she had just gotten a bad headache. "But tomorrow you better have something more to say! Something concrete!" She pointed a finger right between my eyes. "If you're just saying this to buy time or run away I won't forgive you for acting so cowardly! Have something proper to say!"
"Yes, definitely," I agreed.
"I'm going home, see you at school tomorrow," Haruhi said resigned and turned away from me.
With that she left with what can only be described as a strut, leaving my standing there wondering just what I have gotten myself into. The sun was already going down, must be later than I thought. I began wandering aimlessly around the park to cool my head and gather my thoughts. I half expected Koizumi to call again but he didn't and I didn't feel like calling him.
I wandered around some more and then I walked home, in no hurry, and showed up late for dinner. That night I dreamt a chaotic clutter of memories and images that would give even Dr. Freud a headache.
April 17th. Tuesday morning. School Gate.
When I got to school the next day Tsuruya was waiting for me at the school gate.
"Kyon-kun! I've been waiting for you," she called to me and put her schoolbag down where she stood.
She sounds angry. It reminds me of that time I asked Asahina-san to expose herself to me in that alternative reality in December. I guess in that case her anger was justified. I wonder what it is now.
She walked to me and stopped maybe a meter away from me.
"I heard what you did yesterday! Haru-nyan called me last night!"
She gave me an ugly scowl.
"Haru-nyan is willing to give you a chance, but I'm I warning you that if you hurt her like that again!"
Tsuruya took a step back, turned her left hand in a fan and then made a powerful punch that stopped just an inch from my face.
"You'll be feeling my fury."
She picked up her schoolbag and ran to school.
Geez, ain't she the protective type.
I made my way to class without receiving any further threats. Haruhi wasn't in her seat when I got there. I sat down and stared blankly out the window. Time to face Haruhi today. I don't really know what I've gotten myself into or what's going to happen now. 'Taking it slow' is a relative term, and with Haruhi I'm not sure she understands the concept. Maybe today a casual greeting will do, then tomorrow we can have a 5 minute conversation about the weather, then the day after that a 10 minute talk about some TV show we saw the other day and then we just work our way from there to untangle the mess that is our relationship, if you can use that word to describe whatever Haruhi and I have. If the factions circling around us give us enough time that might work.
It was easier when we first met, when we would just talk about some random stuff and nothing needed to be this serious. We need go back to random chit-chat and then move on from there...damn it. I'm no good at this stuff. So why does the fate of the world depend on me not screwing up? As if there wasn't enough pressure on normal guys when approaching girl...Romance is difficult enough without reality being at stake and without having powerful factions surrounding you, and without the girl being as eccentric as Haruhi.
My train of thought got interrupted when Haruhi Suzumiya came into the classroom. She stopped in the doorway, looked at me with an unreadable expression, looked away and walked to her seat.
"Er...Hi," was all I managed to get through the invisible barricade of awkwardness that Haruhi and I had erected between ourselves.
"Hello," Haruhi responded nonchalantly.
I tried to sound as casual as her but failed. "So...I was thinking-"
Okabe-Sensei interrupted whatever it was I was going to say by starting today's class. Just as well, I had covered all I had planned for today. Tomorrow's agenda; the weather.
I didn't really pay attention to today's lesson, not that it was unusual for me to space out during lessons. Today I just had far too much on my mind to learn new stuff. I still had no idea what the next step with Haruhi should be, and she's right behind me expecting 'something concrete'.
The lesson passed far too quickly and before I knew it lunch break had arrived.
"So," Haruhi asked cautiously, "What were you thinking?"
"What? Oh yeah...well its-" I struggled yet again to sound casual but all that I could say was some awful mess of awkward stalling.
"Kyon-kun," Koizumi's voice interrupted me, I looked to my side and saw him in the doorway of the classroom
"Could we talk for a minute?" He said in that trademark tone of voice of his.
"I guess." I stood up. "Sorry, Haruhi, I'm going to see what he wants. We can talk later."
"Fine, whatever, just go."
She crossed her arms, pouted and looked out the window.
I walked over to Koizumi and he gestured me to follow him. He wasted no time and began his lecture once we were a few steps away from my classroom.
"I'm sorry to interrupt what I'm sure may have been an important discussion but the situation has taken a turn for the worse and I and my organization need to know what happened in the park yesterday, just as much as you need to be aware of the full extent of the situation."
"Why do I feel like there's a long speech coming? And if you though Haruhi and I were going to have an important talk why did you interrupt us?"
"I would have rather talked to you yesterday but we were quite busy as you might have imagined."
Did I just detect a hint of irritability from Koizumi? He did look worn out. Looks made life difficult for more than just me and Haruhi yesterday.
"I'm sorry for causing that mess...just how bad was it?"
"When that first closed space appeared, after your incident, it was so large that it was a daunting task when we had to take it on, and it seemed to expand as we fought against it. However, a little while after we entered the closed space it began receding. We eventually managed to close it. A few smaller ones appeared following that but nothing like that first one, even if they did keep us busy for the rest of the evening. That's why I didn't get a chance to speak with you until now."
Now I kind of feel bad.
"Again…I'm sorry," I said.
"Apology accepted, it wasn't entirely your fault," Koizumi said. Subtle emphasis on the word entirely there.
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"We are already taking steps to be better prepared for any further aggressive moves our enemies might make, and we are further securing our position the best we can. This move was definitely hostile so we're acting accordingly. Our next steps depend partially on what you have to say to us now."
"Where are you leading me anyway?"
"To the student council president. He has moved up in the organization recently and for the time being he has been put in charge of the organization agents active in the school. Now the three of us need to discuss the current situation. It will be marked as a meeting with the president as far as your teacher knows so don't worry about not making in back to class in time."
In a few moments we had arrived at the office of the president. We found him waiting for us at his desk
"Koizumi-kun, Kyon-kun. I've been waiting for you. Please take a seat."
The president sounded more serious than the other times we have met. Once Koizumi and I had taken our seats the President spoke in a grave tone.
"What have you told Kyon-kun so far?" The President asked.
"I just explained the magnitude of the closed spaces we dealt with yesterday," Koizumi answered.
"And nothing more?" the president said with a hint of surprise.
Wait, there's more? And they're so serious…I don't like this.
"I thought you would perhaps explain to him," Koizumi said to the president.
"Right," The president muttered.
The President pushed the bridge of his glasses and seemed to brace himself for something.
"Let us begin by reviewing. Sometime yesterday Kyouko Tachibana contracted you and asked you to meet with her. Is that not correct?"
"Yes…she said she just wanted to talk and I thought it could do some good to ease the tension between the groups if we just talked," I answered.
"What did you talk about?" The president asked, though he was clearly not very interested.
"Nothing important really…she wanted me to help with the transfer of power from Haruhi to Sasaki. I refused. We argued. Then there was some idle and trivial conversation. She said something about this whole mess developing into a cold war and that it wouldn't stop there."
"She wasn't lying you know," The president murmured.
"I guess not."
"You didn't think the meeting could be a trap?" he accused.
"If they wanted to hurt me they could've easily done it without asking me to meet in a crowded place."
"A fair point but you should be more careful. Now then, you were aware that Suzumiya-san has been under the surveillance of Tachibanas group for some time now? Long enough for them to establish her habits it seems."
"What do you mean? I was aware of them following her but I don't know what you mean by that last part."
"They had observed that most Wednesdays after club activities Suzumiya-san likes to go into town and browse around. We've figured that they must've had her under close surveillance yesterday and probably transmitted her location to Tachibana somehow," The President said.
"I…no, I wasn't aware of what. What are you getting at? This was not just her going rouge? Her group planned this?"
"So it seems," Koizumi said.
"They did all that just to prove a point to me?" I said in disbelieve.
"Not just to you," The president said grimly. "Where you aware that you and Tachibana where being videotaped?"
"What? No. How do you know that?"
"A video of the incident was leaked into our intelligence network. Every member and associate of the Organization has seen the tape. It includes your Kiss, Suzumiyas initial reaction, and it's time stamped so that people can see that it occurred just before a gigantic closed space appeared. There also was some manifesto advocating the transfer of power."
This took me by surprise. I was speechless while the President glared at me as if to see if I had something to say for myself. Koizumi spoke before I could say anything.
"It seems they wanted to demonstrate Suzumiya-sans instability to members of our Organization to weaken our morale and win people over to their side. We don't know yet how many have defected or are now trying to work as double agents against us but needless to say people in the Organization are quite shaken up. Few have openly supported the transfer of power now. When we thought she was stable as she'll ever be she goes off with no warning…it was quite a blow."
For a moment Koizumi and the president both remained silent while I took in the severity of the situation. This enemy group wouldn't go this far unless they were planning something. This is bad.
The President reached for two bentos that where at the end of his desk and handed them to Kozumi and me.
"You may miss your lunch break over this so please, dig in," he said as we accepted his sudden gift.
The President gave me a few moments to start my meal before he began talking again.
"During yesterdays closed space incident the expansion of the giant closed space did stop after only a few moments after it was entered by our Organization and it receded faster than they usually do. From that I gathered you did something right. You need to tell us what happened between you and Suzumyia at that moment."
Koizumi spoke sincerely. "Please, we know this is personal but we need to know about her psychological status and also the status your relationship with her. This is paramount to our organization and a lot of people want to know what happened."
Isn't this just great. Not only am I in one of the most awkward situation I have ever been in and now I have to explain it at length so it can be analyzed by a whole organization. I'm beginning to think that if I'd ever go on a date with her there will be a special ops team on standby close to us.
"We…talked…" I said. "It was awful at first. She was angry and yelled at me. I think she was crying a little before I found her."
Saying these things out loud made me feel like an awful human being. Making a girl cry is one of those things I'd rather not do.
"After she lashed out at me, Tachibana found us."
"Why did Tachibana find you?" The president asked.
"Presumably she didn't want Haruhi to really recreate the world so she admitted to Haruhi that she kissed me without asking me and then apologized for trying to steal me away from her and promised to leave us alone from now on. Then she left."
The President and Koizumi exchanged glances and looked thoughtful for a minute.
"It makes sense in a way, they only wanted to prove a point not endanger us all so of course they'd try to do some damage control," The President said.
"That leaves one question. What is the current status of the relationship between you and Suzumiya-san?" Koizumi asked.
"It's…complicated."
"We figured that much," The president said, with a deadpan delivery that rivals even me.
"Please," Koizumi pleaded. "Again, I realize this is personal but for the sake of saving face we need to ensure the stability of Suzumyia-san and you are a key factor in that context. There's a lot at stake here. What happened after Tachibana left?"
Good god. I've said before I dislike being put on the spot but with Haruhi it feels like I'm always right in the spotlight, ready to make a mistake that will seal the fate of us all.
"She…Look, You know how she is. She'd kill me if she knew that I was telling you such personal stuff."
"We will not necessarily tell everyone everything, but please understand the gravity of the situation. We need to know."
"Fine. Haruhi kind of admitted that she liked me. I wouldn't say she confessed but…something along those lines. She wasn't happy about it either."
The President raised an eyebrow and Koizumis eyes widened for just a moment.
I went on to give them the abridged version of our talk. Once I was done neither of them spoke for an uncomfortably long time. This was embarrassing. As if things weren't awkward enough already.
"So," Koizumi finally said, "You and Suzumyia-san have decided to re-think your relationship?"
"You can put it like that yes, for now."
"Interesting thought; you ended that encounter with Suzumiya having some hope of establishing a better relationship with you after you spoke, even if your relations have temporarily taken a turn for the worse. That is probably one of the main reasons for why the world wasn't re-created yesterday, she still wanted to see what would happen tomorrow no matter how upset or frustrated she was," Koizumi mused.
"You realize that you must take the next steps carefully," The President said, like he was instructing a bad student.
"I don't think he'll do anything bad enough to warrant another giant closed space from Suzumyia-san. That said, you need to be careful," Koizumi said.
"Yes, yes I intend to be." I don't want to feel Tsuruyas fury.
"What do you intend to do next?" The president asked.
"To be honest I'm not really sure."
Koizumi chimed in. "If I may, I'd suggest you two merely try to spend more time together, go out and do something. It seems to me you both have made this needlessly complex and should simply act like normal people would after a confession. That may be what Suzumiya wants, otherwise she wouldn't have confessed. Although Suzumyia prefers to take the more unusual approach on most things I think just classic dating would be an acceptable place to begin, just make sure to add your own unique twist to it. On the practical side, having the two of you at the same place allows us to focus our resources. So you two spending time together will also help us in keeping you safe, and it may make Suzumiya-san more stable. I'm not telling you to go steady with her but she needs some sort of resolution from this even if it doesn't go the way she wants."
Koizumi is always so eager with dating advice but I've never once seen him even flirting with a girl…
"I must agree," The President said. "This whole confession business isn't really my area but on behalf of the organization I feel compelled to give you some small advice, if only for the stability of Suzumiya-san. It's simple really. You two have got yourselves all reeved up but you haven't even been on a single date yet, It makes no sense and it can't be good for the mental stability of Suzumiya-san go through such a frustrating courtship. You kids need to get over yourselves, go at least catch a movie or something before you beat your brain into a pulp over this. That's my two cents. And from a business standpoint you two being at the same place means one less place that needs to be monitored."
Did I just get ordered to take Haruhi out? What's with everyone...
"I have a question," I said, partially to steer the conversation from my current predicament with Haruhi. "How do the time travelers or the Data entities think about this?"
Kozumi answered my question.
"We're not sure what the time travelers make of this. We haven't heard any extreme reaction for either side from Asahinas group. They of course say very little to us anyway. Almost everything's classified with those people. You can feel free to speak with Asahina-san about this matter if you'd like."
"And the Data entities?"
This time the president answered.
"I tried speaking with Kimidori-san. Didn't really understand all she had to say. She did say that the data entities where to remain observers and not change their protocols because of this. I really dislike that approach. Having beings that powerful constantly over my head feeling like they're just waiting to strike isn't exactly relaxing."
Believe me, I can relate to that.
They spent a while longer interrogating me and clearing out some details. After that they repeated some of the stuff they said about me being careful, said they needed to contract their superiors and sent me away. By the time we were done lunch break was over and lessons had resumed. I had to walk into the middle of a lesson.
"Why are you so late? Lunch break was over fifteen minutes ago," Okabe-sensei asked me as I walked to my seat. I could tell from Haruhi's look that she was just as curious to find out where I had been.
"I had a meeting with the Student Council President," I said.
"Really?" Okabe asked. "In that case just take your seat. I'll check with him later."
He then resumed the lesson. Not that I would notice. I was far too deep in thought. So the kiss had been a trap to weaken the whole organization. And now I was neck-deep in some power struggle between two powerful factions all the while I must keep little miss brigade leader here happy and looking forward to tomorrow. I couldn't get any of this out of my head for the rest of lessons.
Once class was over Haruhi wasted no time, stood up and said "Come on, let's go to the clubroom" before walking ahead without me. As I followed her a voice stopped me.
"Excuse me, Kyon-kun? Might I have a word?"
I turned around. It was a girl. A pretty one. I couldn't remember her name but I knew she was the class representative.
"Yes, sure, what is it, class rep?"
"Just call me Tamura," She said and giggled.
"What do you want, Tamura-san?"
"I was just wondering why you had such a long meeting with the president. As class rep I make it my business to keep tabs on everyone. It's nothing serious?" She said and smiled at me.
Lady, you have no idea.
"No," I lied promptly, "To be honest it was a personal matter but nothing you need to concern yourself with. Just a little misunderstanding that needed to be cleared up."
"Oh, I see" She said, then she looked down and made a strange face. One you make when you're bracing yourself to say something "Another thing…It may be none of my business but I couldn't help overhearing you and Suzumiya-san this morning and noticed the awkwardness, and again during the lunch break when you apologized to her for not being able to talk to her. Did something happen? I tried to talk to Suzumiya-san during the lunch break but she just told me to leave her alone."
Why does everyone find any interaction between Haruhi and me so fascinating? It's getting tiresome.
"No. Or- well yes you can probably tell something did happen. Nothing serious. It's not really any of your business I have to say," I said, trying to sound polite.
She gave a shy smile back. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry, it's just that sometimes I wonder about you two."
"Kyon!" Haruhi yelled from the doorway of the classroom. How long had she been standing there? Most if the class had left so it was just the two of us and a couple of other students cleaning in the classroom. "Are you coming?"
"You better go to her," Tamura said apologetically.
"Ues, well, thanks for your concern all the same," I said and walked over to Haruhi.
Haruhi and I began walking our normal route to the clubroom.
"I thought you said you wouldn't talk to other girls," Haruhi said annoyed.
"What? I said I wouldn't date other girls…I'm not planning to either."
"Then why did you linger in the classroom to talk to Tamura?"
"I didn't linger. She just wanted to know why I spent such a long time in meeting with the president. Said it was her duty as class rep to keep tabs on such things. She also was worried about you."
"She should just keep her nose out of my business!" Haruhi declared. Does she mean she wants her to leave her alone or stay away from me? Does she want me to completely stop talking to other girls? Sadly, that wouldn't be much of a change for me.
"What was it you wanted to say to me before Koizumi came?"
"It's…I don't really remember, wasn't anything important."
"Yeah, I thought as much," Haruhi said resigned, "But I've been thinking…"
For a few moments Haruhi seemed to be picking her words carefully.
"What I said yesterday about you saying something concrete today wasn't really in the spirit of taking things slowly. I don't want to force some contrived melodrama out of you."
This you don't see everyday, Haruhi speaking cautiously to me.
"That's nice of you," I said.
"Shut up, you're not of the hook." She shot at me.
"I'd still like to hear you say something. You said we should take it slowly but can you tell me just what this 'it' is? You didn't really tell me anything about what you want to do or…what you think…but just so you know, after yesterday you have a lot to make up for! I'm willing to give you the chance to redeem yourself, don't waste it."
Her frustration became very noticeable as she spoke, I can hear some of her old melancholy returning.
She just asked the million dollar question, or tried to at least. My brain has been processing this since last night and I think I've finally formulated something of an answer, with a little help from Koizumi and the President. I still need to make up my mind about how I feel about this. Some part of me wants to see where this relationship goes, and another part of me knows I might be getting in over my head here. I just honestly and truly don't know how I feel about this, and in these circumstances I'm mostly just concerned with keeping her and everyone safe. But don't read too much into that. A non-committal and vague answer that still feels like it could be the start of something should do it and that I can provide. Indecisiveness thy name is Kyon.
"I think making up a definition based from how other people would act or stealing a line from a romance manga would just bore you or worse. Is it enough to say that I think we should try spending more time together and see where it goes?" I said.
Spending time together would obviously help my in keeping her safe and stable, and with all the time spent together already I don't see that much harm in spending more time with her. You do get used to her. Also, after yesterday's events I realize I can't rely on my allies to keep her completely safe. Don't read too much into that either.
We had arrived at the clubroom door. Haruhi stopped in front of the door but didn't open it, she just stood there with a thoughtful look.
"Spend more time together? What do you mean by that? We already spent plenty of time together," She said, not satisfied with my answer.
"Yeah but…you know, do something different," I tried to explain.
"Like what?"
"I don't know…can't we just…you know…behave normal and go see a movie or something?"
Haruhis thoughtful look turned into a subtle smile.
"Is this the first time you ask a girl out?" She said with a mocking voice that carried just a hint of cheerfulness.
"Yeah…yes it is," I admitted.
"It shows, you're awful at this!" She said. Her smile widened and turned into her trademarked bright smile.
"Well, you've forbidden me from getting any practice in this so of course I'm an amateur," I joked.
She didn't think that was funny at all.
"Don't blame me for your shortcomings," She shot at me, "but despite them…yes. Okay, I accept."
"You…accept?"
"Your offer, I'll go see a movie with you," She said like she was thoughtfully accepting a meager gift.
On a side note this means I have a 100% success rate when asking girls out.
"Did you give any thought to what movie you want to take me to?" she asked.
"No…I haven't."
"Amateur," She said with a smug smile. "Fine, I'll meet you halfway and pick out a movie. All you need to do is to be ready at your house at eight. Wear something nice!"
And with that declaration she opened the door. The rest of the brigade was already there. Yuki looked up from her book and from her expression I just knew that she knew what had happened yesterday. Could it be she could hear what we said just now with some sort of elevated senses? Come to think of it the door wasn't exactly soundproof. Asahina was looking at me like she was seeing at a ghost. After a few seconds she realized she was staring at me, made a cute little panic-y noise and turned back to her tea brewing. Haruhi gave me a questioning look but didn't say anything. I guess Asahina knows.
The rest of the school day went on like a normal day in the clubroom. I played a few games of chess with Koizumi, Asahina tried brewing a new type of tea and Nagato just read her book quietly. Our glorious leader hardly spoke and seemed very distracted in whatever she was doing at her computer. I did catch her glancing at me a few times but she still hardly looked up. Asahina was acting really weird. She kept staring at me with a strange expression.
Around half-six Haruhi stood up from the computer, picked up her school bag and walked towards the door.
"I'm going home for now. Don't forget Kyon, at eight!" And with that she left.
"What happens at eight?" Koizumi asked without looking up from the chessboard.
"I'm not really sure, I think Haruhi and I are going on a date of some sort."
"whhaaaa-" Asahina gasped. "You and Suzumiya-san? since when! What happened! Did either of you confess?"
Asahina turned bright red and stared at me, gaping and confused. I guess she hasn't heard after all.
I told Asahina what had happened the day before. The meeting with Tachibana, the kiss, the argument with Haruhi and where that had left us.
Asahina made an adorable confused face once I had finished my story. After I was done talking Koizumi chimed in before she could speak.
"Perhaps I should also talk. The organization has tightened the security around Suzumiya-san. The school, her home and the places she frequents have all been put under closer surveillance and have more resources allocated to them. There's also a unit that will monitor her 24/7 and will be close by on your date this evening. I'd like to leave now so I can notify the Organization that she plans to have a date around eight to they can be prepared. I'll speak with all of you separately later."
He stood up and left the room, leaving me with a befuddled Asahina and an unreadable Nagato.
"Kyon-kun," Asahina finally said.
"Yes?"
"Promise me you'll be careful. You don't have to try to be a hero," Asahina said solemnly.
"Sure…of course, but it don't really know what you mean by that. I don't think a date with Haruhi will be dangerous to me."
"Nonono, It's not that. Just- just don't put yourself in danger," Asahina was getting chocked up now. I could see a tear in her eye.
"I'll try not to," I said but it didn't do much to comfort her. "You're acting weird, do you know something I don't?" I asked, a bit unnerved.
"That's classified."
"Are we in danger? More than just from Tachibanas group? "
"That's classified."
"Can't you tell me anything? You're freaking me out here."
"That's classified."
I stared blankly at her. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.
"I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, just don't put yourself in danger."
With tears in her eyes she left the clubroom without saying anything more. I sort of miss Koizumis long elaborate speeches now, at least he explained himself. This just left me confused more than anything. I felt like chasing after Asahina but somehow I think trying to probe her for information would just upset her more. She has those psychological restrictions that prevent her from talking anyway. I turned to Nagato.
"Do you know what this was about?" I asked.
"Partially."
"Can you spell it out for me?"
"Follow Asahinas advice."
"Right…I'll stay away from danger then. Don't you have any knowledge about the future? I feel like Asahina–san is keeping something away from me."
"The future is…unclear to us."
"What do you mean unclear?"
"There has been erratic temporal activates and we suspect that time travelers might be responsible but so far we've found no distinct pattern in the temporal anomalies."
I leaned back into my seat. It felt good to finally be able to talk about something else other than Haruhi, even if it was an unspecified danger that I was potentially facing. Nagato had been a source of stability in bad situations before this and maybe she could be now. Maybe it was just wishful thinking but I really felt like one chat with her could fix everything.
"What are the data entities going to do about this mess? Can't you do something to make this do away?"
"Drastic measures have not been deemed necessary or advisable," Yuki said.
"What about yesterday? According to the organization drastic measures where called for."
"Had the situation deteriorated further we would have resorted to data manipulation to influence Suzumyia-san. It did not come to that"
"I see."
So at the time we were in the park the data entities where watching us and ready to intervene? I'm not sure what she means by data manipulation. Not sure I want to know.
"Aren't the IDSE or the Domain going to do something about the tension that's building up?" I asked.
"I cannot speak for the Domain, but the IDSE is operating on the understanding that they have reached the same conclusions as we."
"And what are those?"
"There are only two ways in which this can develop. Either this standoff will stagnate and gradually fade away as neither side finds an opportunity to strike, or one side will make a move prompting an unpredictable and undesirable situation that is likely to have an unfavorable outcome."
"If the IDSE does act the group advocating the transfer of power to Sasaki will likely be alerted of it as they are monitoring all they consider rivals closely with the help of the Domain. With the Domain monitoring our actions on Earth it will be difficult to use our data manipulation without them detecting it. Even if we hide the act itself with manipulation they will know we are hiding something by detecting data manipulation taking place at all and they will alert their allies. Therefore any significant action, hostile or not, on our part will only result in forcing this conflict to escalate. The same goes for the Domain in regard to Koizumi's group so they are equally pressed not to act. For the time being we will monitor and be prepared to initiate damage control operation should it become necessary. Anything beyond that might result in open hostilities between the IDSE and the Domain as we'd be forced to act against each other to preserve our interests."
I wished she always gave such long answers to my questions…
"So you're saying that you're going to wait and see?"
"Maintaining the status quo is the better alternative to open conflict if it can be avoided."
"What about your goals?"
"The acquisition of Auto-evolution capabilities will become difficult if Suzumiya-san gets harmed or her surroundings grow unstable, the stability of her environment serves the interest of the IDSE."
"I see."
I took a moment to take all this in. Nagato stared at me with what felt like probing eyes. I stared out the window, at students and people in the street going about their business. Was this really just one wrong move away from turning into a battlefield?
"This group Tachibana belongs to…they're just humans and espers, right? Wouldn't it be easy for you to simply brush them aside," I said hopeful.
"Do not underestimate their resourcefulness. Even on their own they might pose a minor threat to our goals on earth. Furthermore, they are aligned with the Domain. Any act against this group would be a declaration of war on the Domain and such conflict might end in unfavorable results for all parties. We wish to avoid that."
"But can't you just…talk with the Domain, do something to diffuse the tension?" I suggested.
"We do not place that amount of trust in the Domain that a simple talk could ease the tensions between the groups, Nor can we ourselves attempt to influence both groups to stand down as it would count as a hostile act. Furthermore, any action taken by both of the data entities in unison to influence both groups to stand down could result in them realizing they're being influenced and respond in an irrational manner. We've already deliberated this at length amongst ourselves. For now we will monitor and be prepared to act should the worst come."
Silly me to think I can think of something a hyper intelligent alien wouldn't have. I'm out of my league here. How did I find myself in the middle of all this? Haruhi Suzumiya is the answer to that question. I've no more question for my alien overlords. Except one;
"How do you feel about this?"
"This?"
"This whole situation. How do you personally feel about this."
Nagato had a thoughtful pause before she answered.
"Yesterday's events where…unfavorable to me."
"They were that to everyone."
"Unfavorable to me as an individual."
"I…I see."
Wonder what she meant by that.
"Could you give me any advice? I'm not sure what I'm doing here."
"The ISDE and the Organization are doing everything that you could possibly do. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is keeping yourself and Suzumiya safe and stable and also define the parameters of 'something nice' as defined by Suzumiya-san."
"What, something nice? Right, so I guess you heard us when we were out in the hallway?"
She nodded.
"I see. I actually could use some help with what she would consider nice."
"The outfit you wore when you got me my library card," Nagato said. "It was…nice."
At that moment my phone began to ring, the caller ID said Sasaki. I answered.
"Hello, I'm not interrupting anything," Sasaki said.
"No, not at all."
"Good. You said yesterday that you wanted to speak to me so I wanted to let you know I'm available now."
"Can you meet me now?" I asked.
"Yes, how about that café were we had our first meeting, can you be there in 20 minutes?"
"Yeah sure, see you then," I said and hung up, maybe a bit abruptly but I wanted to cut this conversation short. I don't know who else could be listening
Nagato suddenly extended her hand towards me.
"Your Phone," She said.
Knowing better than to question her, I handed over my phone.
She held it for a moment, and then the phone began to glow for a brief moment. After the glow faded away she handed me the phone back.
"This device can no longer be monitored." She said.
"…Thanks."