Chapter 14
To everyone else, the Doctor looked quite content with everything going on; though on the inside he was being torn up. Ever since his kidnapping he's been having dreams he so desperately tried to forget. Martha was right; he did look exhausted because he was exhausted. He was so desperate to not see those memories once again that he avoided sleep. He couldn't tell anyone what was going on, he had work to do. He had to put the needs of those who needed his help first.
He never had an issue like this before, if he wanted to block out a memory, he could always do it so easily, after all he is a timelord. Though now it seems as if there was a block put on his ability to perform such mental feats. Why couldn't it be easier to do something so miniscule? Last he checked, none of his captors were telepath, he would know if someone was prying into his mind.
"Doc, what's on your mind?" Jack asked.
"Nothing really just making plans and all." The Doctor assured.
"Now don't give me that; the longer you put off whatever is eating you up, the worse it'll get." Jack said
"Just some stuff" the Doctor said
"Care to talk about it, we can go into my office if you want" Jack asked
"Not really" the Doctor said
"Well this problem isn't going away by itself. Come on let's go into my office and talk it over some coffee" Jack said
"Tea" the Doctor said
"What?" Jack asked
"I prefer tea" the Doctor said
"Well you'll have your tea, I need some coffee. Let's go" Jack said
The two men went into Jack's office. Jack sat in his chair and the Doctor sat across from him. He didn't know what to say. What would he say? He can't handle some memories he's been having so he's become an insomniac? No he couldn't possibly say that. He would look weak; he has to put on a brave face, even for Jack.
"Talk to me" Jack said interrupting the Doctors train of thought.
"And say what?" the Doctor said
"Anything, anything that'll allow you to stop feeling this way." Jack said
"I don't think talking is what I really need." The Doctor said
"Well then what is it that you need?" jack said
"To be able to forget it all." The doctor stated on the verge of breaking
"Forget what?" Jack asked a little puzzled
"All the memories that I had tucked away for centuries that now are now eating me up." The Doctor cried
"How did you do it before?" Jack inquired
"I blocked them out, it's usually easy, and it's one of the abilities that usually comes naturally to a timelord. Though ever since my kidnapping it seems the ability has just been turned off." The Doctor said
"I'm calling Martha" Jack said
"Why?" the Doctor asked in a panicked tone
"Your exhausted Doc and you're just going to get sicker. We'll figure out what to do from there. Though I can't stand to see you like this. You're my friend and this is what friends do for each other." Jack explained
"I'm sorry if I look like some mental case" the Doctor said apologetically
"No need to, it's understandable. We've all probably been through times like this. We just need the will to receive help when we need it." Jack assured
"Well if you don't mind, I need to use the bathroom." The Doctor said
"Okay I'll call Martha while you're gone." Jack said
The Doctor walked toward the bathroom. He felt the bump in his pocket and knew what he had to do. He knew Jack was trying to help, but there was no way he could do anything the Doctor thought regrettably. He had to end it; it was the last resort but it was necessary.
He locked himself in the bathroom. He hoped it would be done by the time anyone realized what was going on. He took the bottle out of his pocket. He pondered whether or not to take just one, but he knew he wanted it done quickly. He heard a knock at the door, it couldn't be Jack, he was on the phone.
"who's in here I really have to go, Jack why is the door locked? I knocked but there was no response."
He knew he had to work quickly. He opened the vial and started swallowing the aspirin. The TARDIS knew what she had to do, she'd know soon enough.
"DOCTOR!" jack screamed, but it was too late. Jack then asked someone to go get Corin and make sure she's ready for what's yet to come. The Doctor was starting to feel the effects of the aspirin. Veins were bursting throughout his body. His kidneys were failing. He could feel the taste of blood. Within a few moments he would go into cardiac arrest and it all would be over. He welcomed the possibility of death like an old friend.
The bathroom door then burst open. He saw Jack rush toward his near lifeless body. "Doc, don't worry we'll help you!" Jack cried "Just tell us what you took and we can help you." Jack then saw the empty bottle of aspirin on the floor. "Ianto, go call Martha again and tell her to hurry, it's an emergency!" Ianto then ran out the room to make the call.
Before it all went black the Doctor manage to quietly say "I'm sorry, it's too much"